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something something the horizon line being clear in the byler heart to heart (save for the mountain on mikes side) vs the horizon line being full of tall trees

#byler #stranger things #this doesnt really mean anything #i just think its interesting #that they used almost exactly the same comp #for these #but are shooting one at an almost slightly higher angle

The weight of a surname is one we all would likely do better without.

They're a curse. A curse that doesn't 'bring families together', nor does it keep a 'bloodline' alive. It tears families apart. Tears people apart. It's a divide. A pain. Something that hurts more than it will ever help.

The weight of a surname, is one which ruins the lives of so many children. So many kids who don't understand how much that word means to their life, to their family, to their relationships

#jet's rambling again #this doesnt really mean anything #i just hate my surname #i hated ny old one. i hate my new one.#i hate who they link me to #i hate who i might end up tied to some day #i wish i coukd just be jet #nothing else #jet.#because thats what i am #not jet t #not jet d #i am jet #thats it

in another more adventurous life i could be a real field work scientist type of bitch because all my life ive been chasing the glimpses of something almost divine that i feel when in the presence of something profoundly old in nature. a coast redwood. rocks in the columbia river gorge. i stopped believing in God at age twelve but perhaps there is still a part of me that sees something beautiful and wants to make a religion out of it. unfortunately i lack the ambition for this so i'm relegated to going on the occasional hike and thinking Damn this earth has been here forever in the privacy of my own head

#thoughts #this doesnt really mean anything #really elaborate way of saying i need to go outside after a winter of being indoors

#doc himself #heart #organ #this doesnt really mean anything #i just thought itd look cool

Idk i wanted to write smth

I find myself in a pitch black room. Nobody is around me. Its is completely quiet aside from the noises i make. The sounds of my breathing feels like screams compared to the quiet. I lift my head looking forward, at least i think it is. I cant tell where i'm looking at because of the sheer darkness the room is enveloped in. I hear the rustling of my clothing, its way too loud. The texture on my skin starts to irritate me, i feel itchiness starts to form around my body. First starting st my arms then spreading to my chest, neck, legs... until every single part of me is itching. The more i think about it the more pronounced it becomes. I can barely ignore it yet i cannot bring myself to itch it, to try to make it go away. It quickly becomes unbearable until it is the only thing i can think about and that just makes it worse. I start breathing heavily, every exhale feels like thunder hitting my ear drums. Its too loud. My breathing gets faster, my heart beating faster as well. I hear every beat like a loud thud. Why is everything so loud???? i find myself unable to move, fearing that i may make more noise, fearing that the irritating clothing i am trapped under may confine me within it more, fearing that i may let that god awful itch grow even more... The fear is like a prison, one that my mind wont let me escape. i spend seconds, minutes, hours? like that, trying my very best not to move, think or even hear. I dont know how much time past, but its felt like years. The cold floor beneath me was the only thing that acompanied me. Why was i tormented in this way. Was i in hell? Had i already died? maybe this black room was my coffin. But then how could i still think, why didnt i disapate into nothingness, or get transferred to an afterlife... or was this an afterlife? i don't really know alot about theology, i lost interest about that subject a long time ago...

more time passed, yet nothing happend, it was just me with my thoughts, alone. i felt like i thought of everything i could think. icombed through every fact i know, every memory i remember. i took note of everything i could feel. i stayed liked to for so long i even dared to move.

#writing #this doesnt really mean anything #just felt like writing and this is what came up #lots of typos #who gives a shit

I like sitting in fields with the sun on my face, with grass against my legs. I miss the beach where it's hot and dynamic and cleansing. Winter puts me in a shut down mode. I have to find new creative ways to get that same feeling from cold barrenness.

#vent #this doesnt really mean anything #words