#this is closure

[ash-underdash]

Isn’t he lovely?

[utterlyinevitable]

For All The Lies 👀

eeeeeeep thank you pola my love for this 💕 For requesting the fic and indulging me now. FATL is my magnum opus 

“Are you happy?”

This line kills me every time. 

He’s resolute. All Ethan has ever wanted and could have ever asked for is her happiness - is for that goddamn radiant and infectious smile to permanently be fixed in her features. He thought he’d never see that smile again. It doesn’t matter if he’s the one who doesn’t get to place the smile back in its rightful place. It doesn’t matter that his life choices sent her away from him. If she’s happy, he’ll be okay. He has no other choice. 

Okay so the idea for this fic was two people who loved each other once coming together and accepting the fact that the universe had other plans for them. They still love each other but there’s nothing they can do. They’re happy with how life turned out even if it meant they weren’t meant to be. 

This line was closure. In many senses of the word. 

flashback friday: send me the title or chapter of a fic i wrote and i’ll choose my favorite line and why i wrote it

Honorable mentions: 

In a space of over 300 people they still had such a hold over one another - for time stood still and Ethan and Becca were the only people permitted to move.

Wrote this line because every time they’re together it’s like they live in an alternate universe. A small space where they can just be them. 

“How.. have you been?” they weren’t the words he wanted to say but they were the ones their situation called for.

That awkward feeling when you have so many questions and you want to pick up the conversation where you left off all that time ago, but you can’t because so much has changed. 

Still, it shook her that after all this time he was still paying attention. 

Even though you’re not in contact anymore, with the great power of the internet and social media, it’s easy to watch an admire from afar. He always paid attention and did what’s best for her even if Becca herself couldn’t see it at the time. 

It was as if the admission crippled him, his hands fell from her immediately and he took a step back.

Okay so this is the moment Ethan finally accepted she was lost to him. Not when she left, not when he admired the ring on her finger, but when he finally admitted the words he’d been trying to get right for years. 

[swan2swan]

It really says a lot that I was so moved and then I go to check out other parts of the web and they’re celebrating May the 4th and doing all this stuff and I just sort of look out there with emptiness and contempt and then return to what I was doing before.

[criedbecauseofzacefron]

[melancholyspice]

*listens to Heroin by Badflower on repeat for several hours*

[brecorndawg]

Another night. Another dream wasted on you.

I have a love hate relationship with the night. It can make or break me. I feel most alive while under the stars. I could stare for hours, eventually falling asleep. A peace washes over me when I realize how little my problems are compared to an entire galaxy that we barely know. I'm just a little peanut in this grand scheme of things. And suddenly I don't feel so bad. But the weight that the night also brings is crushing. The nights, like tonight, where I lay in bed and question everything. Where my thoughts eat away at everything I've built. How do you walk away from someone who supposedly meant the world to you? How do you just stop talking to them, get over them, then start dating someone else? All while they sit there wondering where the hell you were. Wondering how they could throw away forever, for someone new. But that's the thing, everybody wants what's new these days. We don't put in the work when it gets hard, we push people away until we can walk away. We had a deep love, something you don't find twice in your lifetime. But here we are with two different people. The difference between you and I is that you were still on my mind. All the fucking time. I reached out in every way I could think of, but you chose to ignore me. You feed me this "I didn't think you wanted me to come back" bullshit, but I never once implied that. There was you in everything I did. If you could see my social media, you were still there. Full of "This ones for you wherever you are in this world", "where did you go", "I miss you", and a fucking "happy birthday" every year you were gone. And you couldn't reach out just once? But you're going to tell me that you have "unresolved feelings" and then never talk about it again? You can't do that to me. This is my last attempt at making whatever the hell we have work. I will be your friend, and I'm always going to care. But it's gonna take a lot more than sorry to ease the abandonment that I feel. You are never around when I really need someone. And maybe that's because I don't tell you I need someone. Idk. But I think back and wonder if I romanticized something that wasn't even there, we always talked on your terms. Only when you had your mothers phone. And I feel pretty naive to think you were faithful. I've been damaged pretty bad in the time that you left, and it makes me question everything. If you had loved me you would have fought for me. You would've fought those thoughts in your head that told you I didn't want you. And maybe we would've ruled the world. Another night. Another dream wasted on you.

[ciaocoia]

Learning new things from old friends.

[matamoo-blog]

Finally threw her skirt out