The Equation of Us
The shoulder wasn't working right. There was always some kind of flaw in whatever body I happened to take. I was starting to think all humans were flawed meat sacks filled with dysfunctional joints and eternal pain. Did any of them even try to take care of themselves? "Get Out." Not so loud. I impressed, glancing around. The body I had wormed my way into was sitting at a bus stop, and another body had joined it. The short-haired figure was openly staring at us. I forced a smile and a wave that did little to reassure anyone. "We're called humans, not bodies. If you're going to be rude you can find someone else to bother." Seriously, we can communicate telepathically. I sighed, ignoring the furrowed brow of the human sitting next to us. Benefit of being possessed. There are a lot of those, for example- I reached the right hand up to clasp the ineffective shoulder, popping the joint back into place. The stranger beside us winced, but I huffed out a sigh of relief and focused my power on stabilizing the muscles around the injury. "Wow." The body, the human, said. Don't thank me yet. You might not have noticed, but I'm possessing you. Most people don't survive long when that happens. No, hush up. I'm not done talking. The spike of emotions from the human washed over me in a dizzying wave. I'd forgotten how complicated and glorious it was to have a body. Alright, here's the deal. I'm a wanted fugitive. No, I don't want to go into the details. Suffice it to say there are some insults you can't take back and if you think humans are petty, unforgiving creatures you've clearly never met my Aunt Edna. I paused long enough to let the slow human mind parse together the flashes of memory that came with those words, then carried on. Look, you know how demons work. We make deals with humans and eventually the human looses out. However, my situation is unique. I don't want your soul, or your firstborn son, or any nonsense like that. All I need is a place to lay low and hide out until this all blows over. In return, I can make things happen for you. Keep in mind that winning the lottery or having a prince fall in love with you will tip off every demon in the vicinity, so we can't do that. However, I know exactly how to take your part-time photography hobby and turn it into a fully functioning business. I can sniff out the best deals on homes and haggle a real estate agent to half the asking price. I can make your life a hundred percent easier, all in exchange for you not snitching on me if anyone comes looking.
Silence echoed in our mind after my explanation.
Look, I know it isn't a lot-
"You had me at free health care." She said aloud, rolling her shoulder as though she expected it to pop out of place again.
"What?" I asked, surprised enough to actually use the physical mouth. Filthy habit. The human beside us cast a look in our direction that implied my human was the craziest person he'd met that day. Then he shuffled off towards a different bench. Finally having the two of us alone to discuss this situation drained eons worth of stress out of me.
"You just described the dream scenario of every millennial I know." My human explained, ignoring the clear signs that she also felt a million times better now that there wasn't anyone sitting so close to her. She fiddled with the phone in her hands, turning the screen off, and back on, and then off again. "I'd be a moron not to take this deal. No souls or first-born children, right?"
I sent a wave of reassurance, determined not to use vocal chords for at least another century. I could feel the vessel grinning.
"Well, alright. Welcome to chalet Evelyn Bonhomme. I hope you enjoy your stay."
