more on grad school Ryland… After you guys part every time after sex without saying a word, he feels almost guilty. The intimacy and vulnerability you both share is just swept under the rug. He starts stalling a bit longer every time after sex by kissing around your body, saying he’s ‘not done’ but really just wants to feel your warmth for a bit longer. He catches himself staring at you more during lectures, acts all snarky when you score higher than him but deep down is proud, and lets an occasional nickname slip out during sex “That’s it baby, you feel so good…” He’s falling in DEEEPPP and doesn’t know how to stop.
At one point, when you guys finish and roll over, you just lay there for a moment. As soon as the peace comes, it goes, and you quickly get up to leave. Suddenly, a hand grabs onto your wrist and you hear a faint, almost desperate plea “wait..” UGHHH.
BUBBLES YOU ABSOLUTE DEMON. YOU DEMON FROM HELL. because you almost feel something ping in your chest at how ryland tells you to wait. almost. like you involuntarily turn your head to lock eyes with him and you immediately know that that was a mistake. because the look in ryland’s eyes is something you have never seen before. it’s… soft. yet there’s a desperation fluttering about him to match his voice. it’s silent, like he didn’t think he’d get that far. you give him a quick, impatient “what?”
even through the darkness of his apartment, you see the quickening rise and fall of his chest, and the twitch of his lips like he wants to say something. he needs to say something. instead he just lets go of your wrist and says “never mind. you can go.”
the entire walk back to your apartment is way too fucking uneasy for you. what the fuck was that?
