kinda personal but. i hate coming out. i hate hearing that wary ‘wait, you’re not...?’. i hate making a new friend and having the mental note to ‘just casually drop the gay thing sometime before its too late’, because. you know. i hate bracing myself every single fucking time, i hate waiting for a fucking response that isnt awkward. i hate that long fucking pause where my brain goes through every single horrible thing they could say. i hate not knowing how theyre gonna react. i hate how every single time i think of a way to casually drop it in. i hate how every time i see my parents i think fuck how am i gonna tell them? am i gonna tell them? i hate having to correct people on pronouns the second, the third, the fourth time. i hate how it all still feels like a slap in the face.
