Sigh .. it’s been so long since i wrote anything! But since i am not so consistent with therapy or training so i guess this is what i really need right now.
The dark blue cold isolated room made me emotionless i guess, i always read stories of patients going to support groups, practice a new hobby or get closer to people they love to feel safe, loved and get some emotional and physical support to go through this unpleasant phase .. but i never asked myself how am i coping with this? I am hiding in my place most of the time giving my mind the opportunity to overthink everything and sometimes write the last chapters of my life, is this what they call depression?
Everything feels so heavy lately .. I used to escape and go to work or train heavy as stress relief but this isn’t the case anymore, work has become more stressful than ever and my body is barely doing the daily activities and “sometimes:” training
I laughed when i was booking for Saturday’s session today and asked the receptionist about the color of the radiotherapy room, she said “it’s white! Like any other hospital room!” I laughed loudly and said I am so happy that it’s not blue! I am sure that she wrote on my file “mental disorder” but who cares .. I am still happy that i won’t see that dark room ever again.
Here I am
Broken wings
Quiet thoughts
Unspoken dreams