#thisiswhatifeel

[guhdvybes]

Source: @ig_shotz_magic #Nature #Rejuvenation #God #Recharge #Beauty #ThisIsWhatIFeel

[rondz-blog]

Bitter

Alam kong hindi ko dapat tanungin ito dahil katangahan kung gagawin ko. Pero paano ba nangyayari na may mga taong lumalampas sa limitasyon ng closeness nila? Kung friends sila, nagiging mag-jowa sila dahil sa sobrang closeness nila. Kung bestfriends sila, nagiging more than bestfriends sila but less than lovers. Kung strangers sila sa simula, nagiging bedmates at the end. Paano ba nangyayari yun? Kung alam mo ang dapat na limitasyon ng closeness nyo, paano nangyayaring humahantong yun sa ganoon? Yung transition ng pagiging magkaibigan sa pagiging magka-ibigan, medyo mahirap ipaunawa sa utak ko. Alam kong parang automatic lang yun para sa lahat pero parang ang hirap kasi kung ikaw na mismo ang gagawa ng moves para gawin yun. Parang andaming kailangang isaalang-alang. Alam ko naman na kinakailangan ng proper timing, tamang lakas ng loob at sugal para magawa ito pero hindi yun madali, para sa akin. Sa bagay, doon naman talaga ako hirap, yung mag-establish ng great deal of closeness sa isang tao dahil I still have my reservations as a person. Parang hindi ko kayang i-open ng buung-buo ang sarili ko sa isang tao para lang makipaglapit sa kanya ng husto. Pero aaminin ko, nasa stage na ako ng aking buhay na tinutubuan na ako ng inggit sa mga kakilala at kaibigan ko sa facebook na may kasamang partner at nakikipag-cuddling sa isa’t-isa. Naiinis ako sa ginagawa nila hindi dahil nakaka-irita yun kundi dahil nakaka-frustrate at sobrang nai-intimidate ako sa ginagawa nila. Kahit mga chaka na kakilala ko sa facebook, may lovelife din. Ano ba naman yun? Parang ipinamumukha sa akin ng tadhana na, “Ano, naglalaway ka na ba? sige lang, maulol ka sa paglalaway, wala ka kasing karisma para magustuhan ng iba.” At sa ganoong punto, tinotoyo na talaga ako. Nakakainis talaga. Oo na, bitter na kung bitter. Pero minsan talaga, naaawa na ako sa sarili ko. Magiging ganito na lang ba ako forever? Patutunayan ko ba na ang forever ay para sa mga taong tulad ko na single at mabubulok na lang sa kawalan? Nagsisimula na nitong kainin ang sistema ko at parang feeling ko, ito na magiging dahilan ng clinical depression ko. Ayokong makakita ng kahit na sino. Gusto ko lang lumayo sa lahat at kung mabubuhay nga akong mag-isa, I better do it now alone without the presence of familiar faces. If this is my fate, kailangan kong lumayo sa lahat para hindi na ako maging bitter pa sa kahit na sino. The question is, kaya ko ba? Kaya ko ba talagang mawala na lang sa familiar space na ito at mabuhay na lang para sa sarili ko? Alam ko malungkot yun. Pero mas nalulungkot kasi talaga ako pag nakakasama ko ang taong minahal ko na pero alam kong hindi naman mare-reciprocate ang pagmamahal ko. Yes, I’m starting to fall in love with someone whom I shouldn’t have fell with. And knowing na walang pag-asang maging kami makes me hurt so much dahil hindi ko kayang maging close sa kanya ng higit pa sa dapat. Kaya, I really wanted to go somewhere else na malayo sa lahat ng ito at mamuhay na lang talaga na parang hindi nag-e-exist sa buhay nila. Pero circumstances leave me no choice but stay and be doomed here forever. Gusto kong magpakalango at matulog at wag ng magising sa nangyayari sa akin ngayon. I can’t find happiness kahit sa mga simpleng bagay lang. It doesn’t work for me anymore. Well, masaklap talaga buhay ko ngayon. At kung sasabihin nyo, na “okay lang yan, kaya mo yan!”, I’m already doing that and I’m f**cked-up so better shut your ass! Kung may makakaintindi sa pinagdadaanan ko, well, I appreciate it. Salamat but right now, I’m still clueless and literally helpless at this time...

[badmemesandstuffiwannapost]

FURREALSIES

I hate it when I'm asked to describe my personality, like, what am i supposed to say? I don't know what or who people see me as, it changes depending on the person. All I can do is describe who i want to be or what i admire and strive to be. My moods change, i can be happy one minute then sad the next.

[voicesinmysilentmind]

A and R

I'm very sorry I've committed a mistake again I'm not sorry for the mistake I'm feeling sorry for myself Because I have failed myself again For committing that sht again I'm sorry and I promise There will be no 'a' anymore There's only 'r' now I promise This isn't just for me but also for you -jnl

[staystrongloveeverything]

[sadistangbipolar]

"Hurting someone is a decision"

[iranyshr]

Visit Original Link

I bet this time of night you're still up. I bet you're tired from a long hard week. I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city. And I bet sometimes you wonder about me. And I just wanna tell you It takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you. And I hope you know that every time I don't I almost do, I almost do. I bet you think I either moved on or hate you 'Cause each time you reach out there's no reply. I bet it never ever occurred to you that I can't say "Hello" to you And risk another goodbye. And I just wanna tell you It takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you. And I hope you know that every time I don't I almost do, I almost do. Oh, we made quite a mess, babe. It's probably better off this way. And I confess, babe, In my dreams you're touching my face And asking me if I wanna try again with you. And I almost do. And I just wanna tell you It takes everything in me not to call you. And I wish I could run to you. And I hope you know that every time I don't I almost do, I almost do. I bet this time of night you're still up. I bet you're tired from a long hard week. I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city. And I hope sometimes you wonder about me.

[infinita-obsessao]

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