This is a work of fiction. The characters, organizations and events portrayed in this story are only products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to an actual incident is purely coincidental. “Diary if Truth”
What’s the truth inside her diary?
It was raining that night. I was awakened by the cry of my father. Because of that, I hurried out of my room to see what was happening. I am about to take a step when I saw my dad at the living room, he’s lying on the floor, bloody and unconscious. I also noticed a knife at his chest. I was left dumbfounded on what I just saw. I also noticed that at my dad’s side, my mom was sitting next to him, looking so shocked.
“Oh God! I..I’m s-sorry.” My mother exclaimed nervously and then she pulled off the knife at the bosom of my father. I wanted to run to help my father but I just can’t move. Apparently, I am stoned in my position. I can’t move even a little. What else do you expect from a little girl who just saw her dad stabbed by her mom? My mother is evil!
I stood long enough to watch my mother’s reaction. You can see the horror on her face because of what she did. She accidentally dropped the knife that she had used to stab my father. She wasn’t crying, she just kept on looking at her hands covered with blood… the blood of my father. It’s hard and painful to witness such scene. All this time, I thought we were a happy family, but I was wrong. I never knew something like this would happen. I loved them so much. Was it wrong to love my mother? Why did she do that to my father, to her husband?
I saw her pick up the knife that she dropped earlier. She held it tightly as she stood up. And because of my extreme fear, I ran back to my room without making any noise. I was afraid she would kill me as well for knowing the truth. When I got back to my room, I hid myself inside the cabinet. And there I fell asleep.
I WOKE up, and found myself lying on my bed. I sighed while thinking about my dream… but it was like a nightmare to me. It happened twelve years ago. I was only eight years old when my mother killed my father. I can’t forgive her for what she did. I love them both, I really do. So it really gave me great pain seeing my father being stabbed by my mother.
I can still remember everything, including every move that was made during that night. And since then, the same scene always appears in my dreams. I got up and sat on my bed headrest, recalling every little detail of that bad memory….
THE night has passed. The next morning, I found myself awaken by the loud voices of my two cousins. At first I was confused, thinking what they are doing here. But as soon as I remembered about my father and what really happened last night, I quickly ran outside my room and found myself in front of a white elongated box, surrounded by flowers. I’m still in my night suit that moment. I went closer to it and then I found my father lying inside that same box. Even at a young age of eight, I already knew what’s really happening. My father is gone. He’s dead because of my mother. My mom killed him. Sadness filled my heart and I cried as I hugged his coffin. It’s hard for me to lose my father. It’s really painful to be left without him. I’m still young and I need him. I want him to be the one to lift me up if I stumble or fall. I want to make him feel proud with my achievements. I want him to be there if I ask him about love. I want him to be there and give me my first ride when I go to the university I chose for college. I still want to do a lot of things with him. But now it’s impossible… there are things you cannot get back once it is gone. It’s all over. I guess this is the end…
“Dear, hush now. I’m here…” I felt the embrace of my mother, but I didn’t dare looked back at her. I don’t know what to feel… I hate her for killing my dad. I just looked at my father through the glass of his coffin. ‘I will give justice to you, Dad.’ I murmured.
My mom should pay for this. No matter how painful this would also mean to me, she should be in prison. And it hurts that I cannot talk to anyone about this matter, anything about my father’s death. That every time someone tries to talk with me, I’d choose to walk away and ignore their stories. I don’t know how my mom got away with it, and who paid for the crime that she did. But there’s one thing I’m sure of… she’s the real killer.
I studied hard in school, and I won a lot of friends. And after all what happened, I’m still talking with my mom. But it’s never my plan to get too close to her. I’m not yet ready to put my trust on her again. I have my plans and I’m not yet done with her. I studied Criminology because I want to investigate about my father’s death. I want to know the reason why my mom killed him. I want to be the one who will put her in jail. I maybe the worst daughter for doing such a thing, but I just wanted to give justice on my father’s death. I love my mom, I really do, but she has to pay for the crime that she did. She should be in prison and I’ll be the one to take her there. It’s hard but I need to do this for my dad.
I was about to leave when my mom called me, “You should eat first before you go to school.”
“Thanks but no. I don’t want to be late in school.” I lied. The truth is my class isn’t this early today.
“Oh well then, wait here. This won’t take long.” I failed to reply anything since she quickly moved to the kitchen and prepared a lunchbox for me.
When she got back, “I cooked this for you, baby.” She gave me the lunchbox. “Take care.” She was also about to kiss me goodbye but I jerked away. I won’t let a murderer kiss me. “Thanks.” I hastily said and moved away as fast as I could. I rode my car, the one that my grandmother gave me. And on my way I saw a beggar on the street and I thought of giving him the food that my mom made for me. I won’t eat the food cooked by a murderer.
"DOC, please do everything to cure my mother.” I plead to the doctor. My mother was rushed at the hospital. “We’re doing our best to remove those tumors in her brain. But do not expect much, we’re still not sure what will happen in future.” The doctor answered.
My mom has a tumor in brain. The doctor said that she had that disease two years ago but she managed to keep it from us. I’m so worried, she’s still my mother and I love her. But the main reason why I wanted her to be cured is because I still have to send her in jail and she cannot die yet. She must repent or else my studies will go on waste. If something wrong happens to her, there will be no justice for my father’s death, and I will not let that to happen. She needs to suffer; I want her to suffer the same way that my father, her husband, suffered too.
"Doc, the patient needs an operation as soon as possible.” Added by the other doctor. I can’t help but to be nervous at this moment. What if the operation fails? No, my mother needs to be cured!!! I still need her.
“Miss, we will do everything. But we will not leave any promises.” The doctor told me then they entered the Emergency room.
I waited for five hours, as the doctor went out of the operating room; he has a stoic facial expression. Therefore, I became more nervous. Why the operation seems so fast? Was it successful or is there something else that happened? What happened to my mother?
“We’re so sorry. Your mom didn’t make it. If we continued the operation, she wouldn’t survive it either, I’m sorry.” The doctor informed us, lowering down his head. And I’m stuck on my spot upon hearing what he just said. Some came near me to comfort me, but I felt nothing.
Until my mother moved to a private room, just to wait for her time. I lose hope, ‘I can see no hope to give justice for my father’s death.’ That’s what my mind says. But my heart says a different thing…. ‘If my mother leaves me too… how will I live? Can I still survive?’
My head was filled with too much thinking, that I didn’t realize I’m already inside my mother’s room. She was there lying on her bed, and her face displaying agonizing pain. Just by looking at her, it feels like I’m also feeling the pain she’s feeling right now.
It’s discomforting to see her looking helpless on a hospital bed, waiting for her death. And my body moved involuntarily to quickly reach for her hand.
“Mama …” The words came out from my mouth.
“Dear …” I felt joy hearing her voice, saying that word. I can no longer remember the last time she ever called me her dear. Is this the last time?
“Please open the drawer…” She requested as she point her finger at the drawer beside me. And as I open it, I saw an old thick notebook.
“It’s my diary, dear… I hope you’ll give time to read it. I know there is misunderstanding between us. Dear… I love you and your father. Please, do not forget about that…” My mother drew a smile on her face, but she can’t hide the tears rolling down her cheeks. I was also crying looking at her while holding her diary across my throbbing chest.
I also hugged her, and it was my first time embracing her again after my father’s funeral. I didn’t think this will going to be the last time I’ll ever hug her. I kept on crying while holding her tightly, but I felt her arms slipping away. I looked at her and her eyes shut… and no longer breathing. And the last thing I remember, I was dreadful and screaming, “I’m sorry, Mama! I love you…”
AFTER my mother’s funeral, I preferred to be alone first. I decided to read her diary, and I’ am glad to read the first entry on her notebook. That was about the time when she and dad got together. I browsed more pages… it was a proof that they are both in loved with each other.
But I didn’t dare to read more of it since my mom starts sharing their love story to me when I was a little and it gives more pain in my heart as well. I want to know the truth so I start browsing her diary to look for her entry about my father’s death. Unfortunately, there was nothing on that date except for an entry that was written the following day of after my father’s death. I read it… and I almost hurt myself with what I just discovered.
Yesterday was the most tragic and painful event in my entire life. My husband died. There were three men wearing a bonnet and they came to our house that night. They wanted to steal the vault that was hidden at our daughter’s room. They seemed to have learned every parts of our house, like they were watching us for a long time already. But even before they entered my daughter’s room, my husband fought back. He was able to beat those guys but one of them stood up and he was about to stab me with a knife when my husband shielded himself for me. I was left unspoken as I touch his wound, and it covered my hands with blood. All I was able to say was, “I’m sorry”, if it’s not because of me he wouldn’t have to die like this. I wasn’t able to save him. I wasn’t able to save my husband. Meanwhile, the robbers were surprised as well so they ran out from the scene, and that was the time I was able to take off the knife from my husband’s chest. It even slipped off from my hands as I watch him weakened. After a few minutes, I got up, hugged him tight and wept. It was too late when he was brought to the hospital… he’s already gone. But before his last breath, I promised him I will take good care of our daughter. And I will never leave her no matter what happens…”
I was just crying while reading it. Why it is like that? You’ll just regret something once it is lost. It’s painful, extremely painful. I love my mom so much, but when I thought that she killed my father, my personality got full of hatred. I was poisoned by that anger that made me hate my mother.
Now I regret everything. It’s an excruciating pain. Why do people have to die first before you realize that you love them? My father… left me, and now my mother left me as well. No, I was the first one who left her. What have I done to my mother? Why I ever thought that she could do that?
"Dad, I’m sorry for doing this to mom… this is my fault. I wish I could restore back those times. But it’s impossible for me to bring back something that I lost.” I was holding the diary while staring at a large frame on the master’s bedroom. It’s our family picture. Remembering those good times makes me smile.
“Mom, I’m so sorry for thinking so bad about you. I’m full of shame for causing you so much pain. I know I can’t no longer make things right, I’m so thankful to have you and dad. I’m sorry I broke it… Mom… Dad… I love you and I miss you both.” And I went down on my knees while looking at our family picture. “Now what? Is there someone else to join me in the stage when I receive my medals? In a few weeks, I’ll be graduating. Are you happy for me? Thank you very much, I love you both so much. And I know you’re happy wherever you are. Dad, can you hug mom for me?” I laughed while my tears are still flowing down my eyes.
"I’ll be striving for the best. I’ll do everything to make both of you proud of me. I will always pray to God about you. Thank you. You two are the best parents. Mom…. what will happen to me now? No one will cook and make lunchbox for me when I go to school. I’m letting you go… mom and dad. However, your memories will remain in my heart, forever. I love you both …”
At this moment, are you having problems with your parents? Will you wait for them to leave before you ask for forgiveness? Do they need to die before you grant them your forgiveness? While it’s still early… make them feel that they are loved, before you regret it.
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