i did it to myself.
its always going to be like this huh, when im doing research for dr thoburn.
i cant escape you, youre everywhere. I instantly recognize your handwriting. Your picture is right outside the door. So is hers. I use your chemicals, I use your research, your words. The words that your hand wrote. The same hand that once held mine.
Your name is everywhere, I swear I feel energy you left behind, remnants of the connection we had is intertwined with our science, our research.
So many things I learned you taught me, so many methods I use you perfected, and the memories are inescapable. I am okay with that. It was my choice. To ingrain you so deeply into my organic chemistry research and dr. thoburn's lab. Thoughts of you are written in every lab notebook. There are also a few things written in my notebook by and about phuong...
I can't look anywhere in this lab without seeing something that you used, you made, you wrote, anything.
its not exactly painful. just. so. emotional. all the time. i fucking miss you like hell.