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Finished Ernest Becker's "The denial of death" and let me tell you I've never felt this level of frustration with myself prior to reading this book. Humanity must PERISH for good, with me of course. Nature can stay but humans have to go.

#i dont feel proud of humanity man im fucking embarrassed #we are the most fucking pathetic creatures on earth. even animals know what they are and WE DONT know what WE ARE #thought infested

Every few years Tumblr either finds a new movie to clog your dash with to absurdly annoying degree or returns back to the faggy series like Supernatural, Omens and Interviews or whatever the fuck Tumblr normies watch.

#watched everything everywhere all at once years after hype died out and man what a let down #im not expecting anything after couple of years from project mary yk yk but i'll give it a shot nonetheless #thought infested

finally a long needed change!! yuki still staying here, we are nothing alike but im content with that

#thought infested #i wanted to change in a more significant way but so far this is the best i could do #i need to get better at drawing and buy tablet asapppp #next year will get the tablet though i can get better any time

help how do i remove cat from the cold floor.

#shes not mine and shes 10 years old #but shes very nice and sweet lady. very curious too #ive also tried to pat her but now i smell of fish she ate ....ah #thought infested

people my age around me are starting businessess and i only recently have overcome my fear and started commenting on fanfics i enjoyed like a rabid dog

#and the authors reply baby. i love it so so much i feel connected #fandom is great #thought infested

when you are a people pleaser and then you had the chance to "please" people but chose not to and now those people are pointing out how you didnt "please" them--

#i wanna. killlll myseeeeelf #i love feeling like a piece of shit because i take people words and opinions seriously #im such an idiot i need to change something but i always lack either courage or money ffs #thought infested

i hate when people do me "favours". "oh why are you so pissed off?" i didnt ask you to fold my clothes, i didnt ask you to put my stuff at places they never supported to be in, i didnt need the deep clean of something i told you i would do previously. why should i be grateful of not being able to find my things?

suddenly you care about cleanness when few days ago you slept in for a few days. you also clean when you under the influence or when in distress. you do not do me favours but only indulge in your habits from your abusive childhood.

#i came from work and now i must rip out my clothes from the corners she stuffed them into. great #i dont care that im not in the right. i feel grateful when i ask for some not when its not #even my mom didnt touch my stuff too much and never thew anything out #thought infested

cant even self-traumatize myself with awful memories from my life anymore. there wouldnt be anything for the therapist to poke and prod into in the future

#i guess i really did improve mentally #but the downside is that i kind of feel nothing. time passage too. nothing feels like it did before #i need to think it over sometime #thought infested

#thought infested

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