#thoughtful things

[foreverrhapsody]

i want to be a better person

i know i have a good heart and good intentions

but i feel like in my day to day interactions i’m a lot meaner than i want to be

or than i realize

and this is something that bugs me

[littlewolfofnosgoth]

Wolf Dolls

During the next centuries after the Clan Lords built their territories, Mae took up the craft of making wolf plush dolls! The materials is either fleece or fur with bead eyes and the softest cotton or stuffing, stitched with love to last for years. She also puts a gem stone inside, like a heart for the doll. These dolls can be commissioned by any one able and most times she gifts to younger children who shown great promise to their Lords, claiming that the wolves of the She-Wolf will protect them. (Wolves being the plushes)

[queerzaza]

Hey Zaza. Uh, on Friday, my friend was really upset and down about issues in her life+plus the fact that she was having some pretty bad back pains. Since I might see her tomorrow at school, I was thinking maybe I'd make her a care package? Like, little shoe box with cookies and manga and movies and a stuffed animal..? Or should I maybe just you know, leave it alone..?

the care package is a rly kind idea, but it might be overwhelming if she’s dealing with srsly tough problems. maybe just the cookies? or just one of the other things. it’ll let her know you were thinking of her, and you're there for her no matter what. she’ll likely rly appreciate the gesture, turtledove!

[lukehadtobail]

i want you to imagine yourself as 10 years old again. you're sitting across 10 year old you.. what do you tell her? do you tell her she's piece of shit and that she screws up everything? no, you wouldn't. now think of yourself in 7 years. picture what you want your life to be. imagine future you giving present you advice, like you just did to your 10 year old self. what would you tell her? what do you know deep down that you're pushing away? how do you want to remember this time of your life?

[pushingcorpseflowers]

Can I just be the clone who sits at home and crochets and drinks tea, who offers up her futon and a shoulder to cry on when the other clones inevitably eff it all up?

[lovevisual]

「僕ちゃん何か変なことしちゃったかしらーん！？」

Jun (Golden Bomber):

I really am hopeless at talking, so most people just stop listening to me. And usually I can't make eye contact or even look at their faces.

And yet despite knowing that I'm like that, because I have a weird personality, if I'm laughed at even a little bit at a time when I didn't intend to be funny,

"Did I do something weird~!?"

I wonder, as my heart rate skyrockets.  And before long, I think things like,

"I'll make that sneer into tears that will strike the earth after a few years"

and I get convinced that they meant it in a bad way.

These sorts of episodes are pretty common now.

Although it looks like I'm totally depressed when I write like this, I'm really just writing things that I thought about, and I'm actually full of aspirations.

Hmmm... This is way too boring, so I'll end this blog post by writing about things that I've been aware of lately.

1. Absolutely not ignoring people.

2. Not hesitating in regards to people who like to cause drama.

3. Not forgetting my original intention and the "beginner's mind".

4. If I'm a new friend, being careful behind the scenes.

...... huh? Kinda gloomy, isn't it? (LOL)

---

[Jun has mentioned before that he has some sort of "communication disorder" and that he used to be a rather gloomy person. It's interesting to hear him talk about it a little, and a nice reminder that things like that don't have to stop you from being awesome.♡]

[lovevisual]

救ってくれたのは音楽でした。

Takeru (SuG): My friend told me about Kimi no Shiranai Monogatari/supercell, and I've been listening to them for a long time. They use sound in a way that gives you a feeling like your heart has been washed.  It soaks in, and you get tied to it.

Takeru: When I listen to "Sayonara Memories", my eyes overflow with tears. There were also times when I didn't want to see anyone, and when I didn't want to listen to music. But in the end, what saved me was music. There was no other way; it was music. I think there were also times when I just kept running away and didn't want to sing and didn't want to draw. "I want to express myself without running away" I thought. Just like everyone else, I made things and was saved.

Takeru: I think that surely there must be lots of people who can't get angry or cry in front of others. They wear their earphones when they're alone in bed, snuggle into the covers, and uncork their emotions. "I want to make that kind of music too" I thought. To say "You're not alone~".