#thoughts!

[blush-and-books]

criminal that we never see spike sucking buffy's blood. for kink reasons and otherwise

[insomniac-arrest]

I feel like I'm still waiting for a proper word for people who are like me. Like, the term neurodivergent alone implies some kind of Uber Normal Brain that the rest of us are diverging from (SHOW ME THE ONE TRUE NEURO BRAIN, SHOW ME JEFF). But like, all brains are different? No two brains are ever going to be the same?

It is a myth of the neurotypical, propaganda even, that some brains work "flawlessly" in their memory, their emotions, their clarity. ALL memory is flawed, all emotions are tangled and could take one bad day to find your limit, all brains are less certain, less clear, less perfect than I think we might like. For example, eye-witness testimonials are usually worse than any of us would like and our faith in memory gets people locked up. I think it's just not irresponsible to buy-into binaries but dangerous to fabricate an Uber Normative Brain Myth that very few are living up to.

Other words are also still lacking. I was known as "special ed" growing up, which sucked for variety of teasing-related reasons and was incredibly vague. Kids like me are now often termed "twice gifted" which also somehow feels like irksome double-speak.

Furthermore, and I am sure a whole lot of people have a wide range of feelings on the matter, but the word "autism" comes from Dr. Kanner who was struck by the "self absorption" of the children he worked with. Autism thus was born out of the Greek "auto" and coined to translate to "self-focused." Which always felt mean to me? There is mean-spiritedness to define a whole group of people by perceived selfishness. And also just doesn't seem true? Many people on the autism spectrum care deeply about other people and it causes a great deal of distress to not connect.

I dunno, maybe the desire for an accurate word not mired in double-speak or untrue implications is a neurodivergent wish in the first place, the practice of categorizing and quantifying people in general is also questionable in my book, but people look at me and they can tell I am different, helplessly so, and I dream of a language that frees me instead of creates a different kind of cage.

[hgoats]

i s2g if they’re playing in our faces with all these little details like the cards last week, and with eddie drinking juice this week…

like the cards i’m very confident it was on purpose, between the way the shot lingered and just the sheer fact that there’s no way that was just a random arrangement of cards.

but the juice is one of those plausible deniability things where yeah it’s a celebration, people are gonna be having food/bev, but it was ONLY him. and that one extra in the back. but STILL.

i always waffle back and forth between believing the people who work on the show know the significance of things like the juice, or couch theory, or what have you. bc on one hand, these things usually only exist in fandom spaces, and can get pretty granular. i doubt they’re engaging with it, i don’t want to say at all, but to the degree that we do (except tim, that man lurks EVERYWHERE lmaooo). and i also hesitate to say that these theories are at the top of their minds when making decisions about the show. BUT ALSO it’s literally their job to craft this show and make every decision with intentionality so maybe (read: probably) i’m not giving enough credit where it’s due!

anyways i think this is just me writing out the constant battle in my head of finding ways to buddiemaxx but then trying to find non buddie explanations for everything to prevent myself from getting my hopes up. i truly truly wish i could buddiemaxx with abandon but my brain will not let me :)

[lilydoeswrite]

just a thought but this is probably a reach but

the rise of following “aesthetics” and the downfall of individual style and individual expression is also what’s leading to political opinions being swayed so easily and is EXACTLY what certain parties want. with the rise of teenagers wanting to follow certain aesthetics instead of looking to their own individual fashion choices, it can be seen as a fall of individualism. if we are so opposed to showing our own uniqueness in something so personal like fashion, who’s to say we’d be any different when it comes to being swayed by propaganda and our ability to determine our own political opinions and views. we are so easily swayed to the next trend “run don’t walk” as they say that it will be no different than being swayed by the next thing certain parties want you to believe yknow.

and i think in a way, we can connect this to even the hunger games when it comes to the fashion of the capitol vs the districts. the people of the capitol are the 1%, the ultra wealthy, and we see in the books that they are barely aware of the bubble they live in and the propaganda they are showed by the games. in the capitol, they follow so many trends all the time, and do not dare to explore their own individualism— instead following the crowd. and it’s safe to say that with their beliefs in snow as well. in contrast, people in the district dress similarly not by choice, but out of necessity. but that doesn’t stop them from adding their own charm— the one item that they can bring into the games are all different. and i guess because of their individualism that they are not afraid to express, they are not afraid to resist against what is taught to be right and the norm.

just a thought though and it’s also 11pm so my thoughts are a bit sloppy. probs a reach but!

[watereredwater]

Some of my favorite things about bfdia is how the characters are utilised. this is kind of just how i saw it when i watched the show (i haven't really analyzed it or anything) but i really liked how the eliminated contestants would just. be there. do some fun stuff in the background and stuff! just like letting them be in the world. i also like how many locations show up in bfdia. new scenery is awesome and it can set up some really great episodes imo!

i generally just like Everyone in the cast. they all have fun interactions and the cast really shines! i do have some things i wished were different (main thing i can think of right now is that i wish coiny had more stuff with other characters besides pin) but i reallly like basically every episode. this season has a lot of heart and i love it

i could probably go on and on about why bfdia is my favorite season, but i'd probably want to rewatch it before i talk more. i forget things and i'd wanna be clear about what things i liked and disliked

also no promises but i might make art for bfdia stuff again. i don't know when though ":)

my hyperfixation with bfdi ended back in like december so i don't really have that itch to draw stuff about it as much but if i find a good idea i will

[spaceofunknown]

Something something Rhaenyra wearing bright red after wearing black and maroon all season and Alicent wearing blue after wearing green all season, both reverting back to the colours they wore as their younger selves.

[thesummerestsolstice]

Peredhel biology is interesting. They can become mortal or immortal; and it's not entirely clear what the "default" setting is. Is it even the same for all half-elves? What are the implications of being part-elf and part-man? And that's not even getting into the part-Maiarin or pseudo-Maiarin(? Earendil?) Peredhel. There are a lot of really interesting ideas and interpretations there, but I'd like to share a few I've been wanting to write about:

The Peredhel choice is a myth; whether half-elves become mortal or immortal is baked into their biology. Because of the nature of twins, one will always be mortal and one will always be immortal. (I'm mostly thinking about the implications for Elrond and Elros here because I don't even want to consider what that would mean for Elladan and Elrohir)

Peredhel have the strange ability to "mimic" those around them; they appear more elvish amongst elves and more mannish amongst men. No one really knows how they do this, but it's led to lots of stories about "changelings."

Actually, lots of Peredhel have weird, vaguely mystical abilities. Think about the kind of things you'd read about in a fairytale- speaking to animals, unusual strength, preternatural charm. These things aren't unheard of amongst elves or men, but they're a lot more common amongst Peredhel. It's suspected to be some sort of Ainuric boon, or possibly a result of half-elven souls being more "flexible."

Because their souls are inherently kind of unstable, Peredhel fade more easily then elves. That being said, the "symptoms" of fading are different (elves will literally become translucent, while half-elves will lose weight, sleep for most of the day and still be tired, etc.), so it's often assumed to be a normal mortal illness until it becomes a life-threatening situation.

Ulmo has kind of adopted the Peredhel as his people. He's their patron, and he cares for them all. Many half-elves live or work near or on the ocean, and for those who are immortal, the desire to sail west generally manifests less as wanting to go to Valinor and more a literal desire to go to the sea. Half-elves who are inclined to pray usually do so to Ulmo. There's a reason that Rivendell is protected by a river. Also, yes, Earendil is still absolutely Ulmo's guy, he's just also Varda's guy. They have a very friendly custody agreement.