He didn't love what Bob said because of the content. He loved it because it existed.
He had an unconditional capacity for love, except when it came to himself, and he viewed me as part of himself, more than his wife, more than his other children, and more than his church.
He would destroy a version of himself that did not confess the creed, say these specific words and be visibly more saved.
At the edge of ourselves is that which we consider Other. The version that believes something heinous, that kills without mercy.
That is where we find God.
At the edge of myself is someone who doesn't believe in God, who willingly gives into something she perceives as negative and frightening. In giving into it, I find myself evil and horrifying beyond all measure.
The moment that unloved self becomes loved by me, I become God.
And therefore, in atheism, I found God.
And I keep refinding God every time this puzzles me anew and once again I accept that I do not know and must say I do not know, when i accept that I have found no evidence and do know that there is none.
There, in the heart of darkness, is God, and that is a light that makes a black hole sing.
It's the gravity that holds the universe together at its weakest, most powerful parts...the vulnerabilities that grow into personalized portals to greater darknesses and greater lights beyond.
