i fully blame the musical's writing itself for that early fandom portrayal of éponine as the girl stuck in the friendzone, the girl who only loved someone who didn't love her back,,
ponine spends her life largely alone, without anyone showing kindness or love to her, so when marius shows her kindness, éponine sees love. and when she realizes that marius doesn't love her back, it's heartbreaking, not just because she knows marius doesn't want her; no one wants her.
and the musical downplays that and tells us that ponine is simply sad because marius loves cosette and not her, and it is, but even more so because no one would ever love her as marius loves cosette. ponine is cosettes opposite; she is loved, she is loved, she is loved, by her mother fantine, who sacrificed her life for her, by her father valjean, who loves her so much he would not let her go, by marius - éponine never will be loved, not by her mother, who is dead, not by her father, who cares not for her, not by marius
