Ramblings on 1/7/2016
Motivation can be hard to come by. The pills help but sometimes it takes everything I have just to leave my bed. Sometimes it takes everything I have just to leave my bed. Sometimes motivation will come at the most unexpected time, such as halfway through a movie or show or chapter of a book. I can never enjoy anything fully without the anxiety creeping back. How easy it is for me to get wrapped up in my own mind. One day, I fear, I will finally get lost in it and never return. It's nicer there. Safer because I can control the outcome. I plan the story, the characters, the problems they face...everything. But where is the fun in knowing an outcome? Where are the surprises? That is certainly not living life to the fullest. And I want to live dammit.
