Reburn || Steven & Julianne
Steven groaned. It wasnāt like the actor wasnāt use to early mornings by now, but when you didnāt end up getting much sleep the night before over āpersonalā issues, well ā it always ended up hurting just that little bit more. Letting out a huff, Steven blew his fringe away from his eyes and peered up at his alarm clock. Oh how it mocked him. He hadnāt even got the chance to set it a little forward either since moving back into the place, so the option to hit the snooze button was completely off the table. With one more frustrated groan, Steven brought his arm up to silence the little shitter. āGood fucking morning to you too.ā With a bark in reply (even if the greeting hadnāt been directed towards him), Max jumped off the bed and bounced out of the room ā obviously in search of his lead. It wouldnāt be long before he was back either. So knowing heād be getting up sooner rather than later, Steven sat up in bed and ran his fingers through his hair ā noting as he did, that perhaps a quick shampoo wouldnāt be the worst way to waste his time before his eventual meeting with Julianne. So, yeah, today was the day. Today was the day he was going to try and convince Julianne he deserved to see his son again.
Now he was long over the self-pity party for one he often threw himself whenever this train of thought would pop up in his head, so while yeah a few months ago he probably would have questioned himself for a good week and bit if he truly was ready to see Luca again, so much so heād often talk himself out of it completely, Steven wasnāt going to do that this time around. He was ready. He knew it. His mum, Luc, and his dad could all see the changes ā and that was even without seeing the small button he carried around in his wallet that declared the accumulative amount of days heād been sober for. Which sounded pretty cheesy, but it was a self-preservation thing, so Steven did it anyway. Turning over in his bed, Steven reached out to his bed side table one more time, pressing his hand to his mouth and then placing it over the latest picture he had of Luca (Thanks to Jess), before climbing out of bed just as Max bounced back into the room. āOkay, okay! Dump time. I know.ā
Still in nothing but a pair of gym shorts, Steven took Max outside and waited for the dog to do his business, while he allowed his thoughts to drift over to his son and Julianne again. It was still crazy to think his son had a half-sister now, let alone that all of that made Julianne a mum x2. Yeah sheās married ā Julianne his ex fiancĆ© was now Julianne Jeff Carter. Maybe there had been more to those jokes about his āstudā factor than heād allowed himself to believe. Shaking his head, Steven refused to let his conscious (lack of one that is), cast the blame in her direction. This was his fault. His fuck up. She hadnāt cheated on him or anything. Heād left. He was the one that got back into painkillers again, not her. Not Jeff. Stomach growling, Steven grabbed Maxās leash and pulled him back inside. He could tell Max wasnāt exactly pleased by the lack of anything actually resembling a responsible dog owner walk that Steven had promised him, but he didnāt have much of a choice ā he was going to be late if he didnāt start moving. Ignoring Maxās glare ā Steven ran back up the stairs into his room and grabbed out a blue v-neck, a pair of chinos, some clean jocks and some socks before hurrying into the bathroom.
With his head under the water, it wasnāt long before Steven was once again thinking about his son. It had been a good year and a bit since heād actually seen him. He wasnāt even considered to be Lucaās dad anymore. No heād lost his rights to call himself that a long time ago ā but yeah now it was official. Documents and all. Heād been practically unstable that day, which gave Greg, his sponsor one heck of a long night and ended up losing Steven his 3 month sobriety button. With a sigh, Steven ran his hand threw his hair, pushing the shampoo out. He loved Luca. But even he knew he hadnāt done enough to show it. It wasnāt like Steven had wanted to leave them ā but after heād injured his leg while camping with Sidney and he ended up getting addicted to Vicodin again, he didn't have a choice. Heād been an addict most of his young adult life and he knew, he knew before anyone else would have even had the chance of knowing, that things were getting bad again. So after a night of trying to ween himself off it and failing ā failing in the worse way possible. Steven left. He left without saying or doing anything. He just left and checked himself into a rehab facility back in Atlanta. Shaking his head from the mere memory of it, Steven turned off the shower, but kept his head resting against the tiled wall. He felt his chest tighten and his stomach empty. He wasnāt sure if he was simply remembering the pain of withdrawal, or was actually experiencing it again. Only this time it wasnāt a cold white pill making him ache through to the bone.
Picking his head back up off the wall, Steven once again reminded himself that today was a new day and he could either live in regret or move on and hopefully get his son back. Choosing option B, because it was the only option worth living for, Steven climbed back out of the shower and proceeded to get ready for his coffee with Julianne. Jules, like his son, deserved an explanation. He wasnāt going to assume she knew nothing. Of course she knew where heād ended up. And he was sure if he had told anyone where he was, they would have told her and she would have flown over immediatelyā¦ even despite his dick move to leave them without saying a thing. It was just who Jules was. Steven wasnāt going to lie. He missed her. He missed her as much as he missed Luca. But today wasnāt about that ā and it couldnāt ever be about that again. She was married now. Happily ā Steven had heard enough side conversations regarding the two whenever he was hanging out with his mum and Luc. It wasnāt like they straight up said Julianne and Jeff were happy. It was just all the between the lines shit, that Steven shouldnāt even be reading into, but just did ā because of habit and because he loved her. So yeah, he wasnāt going to do anything shifty and try and convince her to get back with his new changed self, because one ā¦ dick move and twoā¦. it wasnāt like Julianne would even ā The point was ā¦ No. Just no.
After setting Max up outside, much to his dismay because Steven knew heād rather stay inside on the bed, the brunette jumped on his bike and headed off towards the coffee house. He ended up going with the bike, because it was a lot harder to let his train of thought distract him while riding it. Too much to pay attention to ā especially in LA. So by the time he was pulling up outside of Peetās, the ache in his stomach hadnāt had time to resurface and make him feel queasy again. Which was good, because Steven hadnāt had breakfast yet and he really wanted something to eat. Noticing he was still a little early, Steven ordered himself a blueberry bagel with cream cheese and was still in the middle of it when she walked in.
She hadnāt changed that much. Okay, so she totally had, but not like in a ā she got real fat kind of way, but more like she just got impossibly hotter. It was kind of a nail to the gut to think that all of it probably had to do with the fact she was married now and happy. Happy. It was a weird feeling to feel both awful about that fact and glad about it. Raising his hand, bagel half in his mouth, Steven waved in her direction. It was time. Swallowing the remaining bagel remaining on his tongue, Steven wiped his mouth, not realising heād left a bit of cream cheese on his nose and hesitantly gave the blonde a small smile. āHey.ā
