Pairing: Ashton x Reader
Word Count: ~1.3k
Warnings: Swearing, angst, some fluff?
Prompt: The morning after with Ashton doesn’t quite go as planned, and when he finally leaves, you’re left to clean up the mess.
A/N: flashbacks are in italics
{part one} {part two} {part three}
Morning after cuddles with Ashton were supposed to be calm and comforting. You were supposed to wake up on his chest and burying your head against it as the sun peeked through the curtains. He was supposed to laugh and rub your arm, pulling the sheets higher up your bodies. It wasn’t supposed to be filled with regret and a sick feeling in your stomach that came with the silence of what was going to happen next.
Ashton got out of bed first, taking a clean pair of boxers with him as he headed towards the bathroom. You laid in the unmade bed until the shower water began running and Ashton’s playlist filled the bathroom, echoing through the walls, finally prompting you to get up and get dressed.
You cringed as you walked into the kitchen, finding Luke, Michael, and Calum at the table.
“So, you two made up.” It wasn’t a question. It was a statement that fell from Michael’s mouth and left you pressing your nails into the skin of your palm, hoping to soothe the pang in your chest. You didn’t solve anything. You didn’t know where it was going to go from there and what was going to happen post-treatment.
“Did you guys stay here?” You retorted, unleashing your fist as you pulled open the fridge.
“Wish we hadn’t.” Luke rolled his eyes and stretched up with a pop. “Coffee?”
“Ashton broke our coffee pot,” you reminded.
“So if you didn’t make up, then what happened?” Calum asked. You couldn’t blame him for being curious. They had stayed overnight and while you and Ashton tried to be quiet, you weren’t exactly silent.
“We made a mistake.”
“You think it was a mistake?” Ashton’s voice made you jump right out of your skin and you mentally kicked yourself for even answering the question in the first place.
“You don’t?”
Ashton shook his head, “but what do I know? I thought maybe we sort of fixed things and were on the path to getting better but you regret it.”
“I never said I regret it.”
“Mistake and regret are basically the same thing, Y/N,” he argued and you couldn’t form a response. You had been feeling regret since you woke up, and lying to him wasn’t going to get you anywhere.
“I regret sleeping with you last night, yes. But do I regret coming over and talking? No. And I don’t regret kissing you, at all. I just regret where it went because that’s not where it was supposed to go, we weren’t supposed to do that last night when both of us were still hurting.”
“We fix this and then we fuck it up again, when is that going to stop?” Ashton asked with a sigh, settling down as he realized his three best friends were still in the room. “Because I don’t think I can take this constant push and pull anymore. It’s tiring.”
“Then you make the decision of where we go next, Ashton because I tried and you wouldn’t just let me go. You couldn’t just drop it.”
“Because I don’t want to just drop it! I want you and only you and you keep pushing me away.”
“I’m not pushing you away, I’m pushing your drinking problem away! I want you to get better and I’m holding you back from that. I want you, I just don’t want the monster this whole drinking thing has made you become.” You regretted your choice of words as soon as they left your tongue, watching as Ashton’s face fell as he soaked in what you had just said.
“I… I think I should go. You’re still driving, right?” Ashton turned towards Calum, who nodded and fished his keys from his pocket. “Let me just go get my bag.”
As Ashton trotted back down the stairs once more he stopped in front of you. You couldn’t read the emotion on his face but you knew he wasn’t happy. “You can stay here as long as you want. This is your house too. I’ll see you later,” he whispered and an awkward distance grew between you both, you not knowing what to say and him not knowing what to do.
Somehow watching him leave this time hurt worse than any of the times he’d left for tour. Maybe it was because this time, he didn’t kiss you goodbye and promise to call you every night. Or because the dispute that went on was left unsolved. Maybe because of your poor choice of words. But mostly it was because you knew there was a chance he may not come back to you after all this.
“You hungry? You want some breakfast?” Luke asked, stepping into your line of vision to finally break you from staring at the closed door.
“Sorry,” you apologized, shaking your head to clear your thoughts. “What’d you say?”
“I asked if you wanted breakfast.”
“You know, I think I’m just gonna go back to bed.”
The room was still a mess when you walked in. Not that you expected it to be cleaned, but it still came as a surprise, seeing again just how much Ashton had destroyed it just hours earlier. You had originally meant to sleep but instead found yourself picking his clothes up off the floor, determining which were clean and which were dirty and folding the clean ones, putting them back in his drawers, smiling when you could see the hardwood floor beneath the mess.
You took the sheets from the floor, rolling them up into the hamper and grabbing a clean pair from his closet. You smiled at the grey blanket that was placed over the mattress.
“Sorry, it’s cold isn’t it?” Ashton asked. He sat up, and your eyes raked over his bare torso. He left the bed and picked up the duvet and the thick grey fluffy blanket from the floor. “Here, stand up,” he urged, pulling your hand to help you. You grinned as you crashed into him and he smirked down at you, molding his lips with yours again.
“Blankets first. You can kiss me after,” you whispered with your hand pressed flat on his chest. He let out a low groan, throwing the grey blanket down on the bed, messily spreading it over the mattress. He wrapped the duvet over his shoulders, and his hands found your waist as he pushed you back onto the bed, the blanket forming a cocoon over you both.
The smile faded and you tore the blanket from the mattress, shoving it into the hamper as well. You stroked away the tears that had slipped out, breathing slowly to calm yourself down as you took the new sheets and made the bed, just the way that Ashton always liked it.
He was right. This was a constant push and pull and things were fixed and then broken again. Even before the drinking got out of hand, your fights were extreme, leaving you both slamming doors and storming out. He’d stay at Calum’s or you’d go back to the stupid apartment you still had—you were hardly ever there. Maybe it was time to sell it—but you always found your way back together. Call it fate or whatever but despite the push and pull, the highs were better than the lows.
Luke pushed through the closed door, barely peeking his head in. “Wow. Looks good in here,” he commented. You turned to him, a frown still present on your face.
“Do you think we’re gonna get through this?” You worried, your bottom lip trembling.
“Don’t you always?”
“I really hurt him.”
“Yes. But it’s what he needed to hear to get his ass out the door. He’s so in love with you, Y/N, I don’t think that’s ever going to go away. Give him these three weeks to find himself, and I promise he’s gonna find his way back to you.”
You pulled at the frayed strings of your t-shirt, glancing at your empty ring finger. “I just hope love is enough.”
{part 5}
Tags for part 4: @my-world97 @therainydays4 @mysticalhood @cxddlyash @coffeewithcal @oldschoolashton @tothemoonmikey @hemmomfg @cashton-queen @calumamongmen @comingcalum @glitterlukey @valentine-in-my-quinjet @nina-gzmn @mrs-blythe72 @kinglyhood @nostalgia-luke @tothemoonwithclifford @ivealwaysbeenleaving @honeybunash @songforhema @you-of-ghost @ashton-ma-bestfriend (i’m sorry if I forgot to tag anyone pls message me if I did and you’d like to be tagged!)
Request: can u do enemies to lovers with cal? thank u x
thanks for request hun hope it’s not too bad!! ok yea it’s a bit messy im sorry my love i hope you still like it a little bit
- ok so you’re actually one of luke’s best friends for years and he asked you to come on tour with the boys as the stylist bc you know how to make a good ass outfit as well as fix the mess they call their hair
- you hit it off with all the boys really well like y’all became best friends except for calum for some reason bc he was being difficult
- but like you were too sooo
- he’d love to do shit to tick you off like complain about his hair
- or saying he wont wear an outfit just because of the color or the material is itchy even tho it was like the softest shirt he just loved to make you mad
- y’all could actually go at it sometimes like full on yelling bc of something stupid
- the other boys thought it was funny first and would like make jokes calling calum your best friend and vice versa
- cal lowkey being jealous of your friendship with the rest of the band especially luke
- he'd always have a dumb comment and roll his eyes when you where talking with luke
- "are you done talking to your boyfriend so you could do my hair or what?"
- at this point even luke was getting annoyed and the rest of the boys but like mostly luke
- Ashton actually was the one who confronted calum first bc he's like a dad tbfh and was tired of his SHIT
- "why do you keep acting like a dick to her? She's actually a really cool person when you're nice to her"
- "she just annoys me"
- Ashton gets PISSED bc y'all actually got close and he saw how your feelings would lowkey get hurt at some of the things calum says
- "i don't care if she annoys you treat her like a DECENT HUMAN"
- calum just rolls his eyes and leaves but hears Ashton whisper something
- "what did you say" "she's too good to be treated like shit"
- he didn't say anything and just left but then started thinking about you
- how you'd always do nice things for the crew like help them out whenever they needed it
- you always stayed up with them to help clean up after shows
- you even brought them brownies and cookies that you'd make for everyone bc you love baking and it was an excuse to make a shit ton of sweets
- calum being the stubborn bitch he is would never get one but the one time he did he was like well shit
- he slowly started to realize that Ashton was right and he was just being a dick
- he was trying to figure out what he was gonna say to you bc he actually felt really bad
- when he finally got to the dressing room he was all ready with his apology
- homeboy even got you your flowers after he bugged the fuck out of luke to tell which ones they were
- you being the good person you are accepted his apology but like you were still kinda cautious bc you were scared he was gonna turn on you again
- he'd notice that while you guys were starting too be friends you weren't as close as the other boys
- which now made him highkey jealous
- he was confused on his feelings bc you'd make him feel some way and he'd constantly be a bit jealous bc you weren't giving him attention
- he didn't know what to do anymore so he just talks to Ashton about it
- "i don't know i just feel like she still doesn't like me which hurts bc i think im actually starting to really like her and im confused bc i don't normally feel like this"
- he kept rambling and rambling until ashton lost his shit and started LAUGHING
- "im trying to tell you my feeling THIS ISN'T FUNNY"
- Ashton just keeps laughing bc he doesn't understand how two of his best friends can be so OBLIVIOUS
- "OH MY GOD ARE YOU BLIND ?! SHE'S LIKE BASICALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU"
- calum was shook i like jaw dropped, eyes wide, can't even say anything shook
- cal thought he was just messing with him to get his hopes up but really y’all were both headass for each other
- “ dude she still has one of the flowers that you gave her. i was about to throw it away bc it was dead but she almost pushed me over saying she can’t throw it away bc you gave it to her”
- luke walks hearing about the flower “ oh yea y/n would literally fight anyone for that dried up flower”
- oof when calum heard that he got the biggest fucking smile that boy was WHIPPED
- that was literally all the convincing he needed homeboy was already on his way to get more flowers
- the way he asked you out was simple but so cut ;(
- he got your favorite flowers again and also on of your favorite albums you’ve been wanting you talk about it all the time and you bet your ass he listens bc he is HEADASS
- “i heard you still have one of the original flowers i gave you so um here are some more so you can replace them .. and also... um doyouwanttogoonadatewithme?”
- he looked so nervous it was so cute omfg mY FUCKING HEART STOP
- you almost miss everything he just said but of course, you said yes
- everyone already knew you guys were gonna get together so when you guys officially started dating you were EVERYONE’S power couple
- you guys are actually the cutest fucking couple and now you drag calum to help the crew too he even bakes with you even tho he’s really just there making a mess
- he finally appreciates you for everything and he’d do anything just to make you happy
- you were his world and he was your’s
i dont know how i feel about this it’s lowkey a mess like i wrote the first half while i was really high yikes dont judge me bc im a borderline pothead . also sorry for any errors i finished this real quick bc i have to do my stats h help
AN: Yes this builds of off a piece i wrote forever ago, and i would really appreciate some feedback or something:)
TW: none?
Word count: 2226
The radio would be on when Calum entered your shared apartment, and he could see a blur of someone flashing around in the kitchen in rhythm to Bon Jovi’s Living on a Prayer. He could not help the smiled that spread across his face.
“Hi babe, I’m home”
He called out in the stereotype singsong voice, and immediately after he heard a soft “Oh shit” almost drowned out by the music coming from the radio. Calum swore he could feel his heart soaring at how adorable you were being. You turned the volume down and went to hug him.
“You’re happy today” he stated.
“Well, yes. This music makes me want to dance and it really just made me happy.”
You said with so much joy in your voice that he could not help himself and kissed your lips.
------
As you stood in the middle of the kitchen floor with one of Calum’s hands on your waist the other holding your hand. A classic dance stance, as some cheesy song you had heard played at a wedding once, was filling the apartment.
“Okay you need to hold me like this and then move like so”
He tried to explain to you, as you looked down on your feet trying to get it right. Soon you looked up as Calum had detached his hand from yours and had a finger under your chin pushing slightly upwards.
“You’ve also got to look at me” he smiled.
“I can only do one thing at the time. This was a lot harder than you said” was your reply.
“Okay, new strategy. Step up on my feet”
The smile did not leave his face. You dead panned.
“Seriously?”
“Yes, now do it before the song ends”
You quickly stepped up and he started waltzing you around.
The both of you laugh as you often slip down from his foot, and just decide to link your arms around his neck and laugh as he shuffles across the cramped space until the song ends. As you get down you take a good look into his deep crinkled eyes, suddenly the radio host that is talking seems to fade away. With hands now surrounding his waist, you take a deep breath.
“Hey, Calum?”
He gets a small furrow between his brows as if sensing all the worries racing through your head.
“Yeah?”
The word falls softly from his lips.
“I love you. A lot.”
A broad grin makes its way onto his face.
“I love you to, so very very much.”
-------
You were alone at home when you got the mail. You weren’t expecting anything special, so when a wedding invitation slipped out from all the bills, you were stumped. Until you read the name on the front side. Your cousin was finally getting married. A smile spread on your lips, as you opened the invitation. Then, your heart stopped. Because it said your name +1. And you weren’t prepared for it.
Last night you had a big fight with Calum, and he had gone to Luke’s to cool off or something. You didn’t know, he hadn’t bothered to tell you when he’d be back. It wasn’t like you had bothered to ask him about it either.
We need to talk, can you please come home?
Staring at the text was the worst thing to do, so before you changed your mind, you sent the it. To be honest you got lost in your thoughts. Of how to fix this. The last thing you wanted was to lose Cal, so in your head you started to figure out what you wanted to say.
When the door opened, you got up from the kitchen table, leaving your cold tea cup behind. Calum stood in the doorway, staring at nothing when you got there. His eyes were red, and he looked like he hadn’t slept. The black hair that topped his head was an outright mess.
“I’m sorry-”
“I’m sorry-”
You both spoke at the same time, causing you to smile. A glimmer of hope flickered inside you. Until you saw that Calum all but flinched.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
The concern in your voice was all too familiar to him. This isn’t what he wants for you.
“Umm, not really.”
His voice is hoarse, like he is down with a cold, but he’s not. You know that much. He sees that you are going to grab his hand, and it tears his heart in two, no a thousand pieces to avoid it. It feels even worse when he sees your brows furrowed in confusion, and the pain flash in your eyes. And he swears he can see the door to your mind closing.
“Calum?”
“I can’t do this Y/N, not anymore.”
You clench your jaw to try to hide the pain. But when you speak your voice comes out choked.
“Why?”
He won’t meet your eyes, because he knows if he looks into them, all his resolution will fade.
“I just don’t want to hurt you, when I leave for tour I mean.”
A bitter laugh escapes you. You should have seen this coming.
“That is such a bullshit excuse.”
That’s all the response you can come up with.
“Just get out.”
Calum swears he can hear his own heart stop beating. While he sees you clench your jaw.
“Wait, this isn-”
All you want is to be alone right now.
“Frankly I don’t care right now- just get out”
You want for him to fight this, to find a solution, but he doesn’t. He just turns in the doorway and walks out. And the second the door closes the first tear slips down your cheek. And then another, and another, and another, until you collapse onto the floor.
Calum stands outside your door for at least thirty minutes he thinks before he can’t take anymore of your sobbing.
--------
It was two months later, and Calum still regretted breaking up with you, when he got the text.
Come get your things, they are in a box in the kitchen. I’m at college, please leave the key inside.
If Calum still felt his heart he swore, this would be the last time he ever payed attention to it. So when he twisted the key in the lock and heard the radio playing Living on a Prayer, he was afraid you were actually home. You weren’t though. You had just forgotten to turn off the radio before you left. And the memory of the first time you had said you loved him, flooded his brain.
He walked the short distance into the kitchen and quickly spotted the box of his stuff on the counter. When he went to grab it, he saw a white card on the counter. A wedding invitation to your cousin. The +1 was scribbled over.
That’s the moment he decided he was going to try and win you back.
----------
The wedding ceremony was beautiful, it was held in a grand church, with soft lighting and lots of beloved people there, even the distant family that you hadn’t seen in forever. Of course most of them knew of the breakup by now. Although there was a few friends of the wife that you were pretty sure knew who you were.
It wasn’t that they asked directly, but in the way they all looked at you, and then their phone. Or the fact that you overheard them when walking behind them talking about how there was supposed to be some famous person here.
So you sat at your table alongside family members and exchanged pleasantries, while watching the bride and your cousin dance. Until someone came up and carefully asked your name. When you turned to look at who it was, you were confused. What would one of the waiters want with you?
“Excuse me, there seems to be a problem at the front of the entrance?”
The young man asked you, more like questioned.
“Okay? I’m not quite sure what you want me to do about it? But I’ll get you one of the parents of the couple?”
He flushed a deep red, before he quickly shook his head, making light brown hair swish across his forehead. To be quite honest he was attractive.
“Oh, but the man is asking specifically for you.”
Now you were stumped, who could possibly know where you were right now? The curiosity got the best of you, making you get up and follow the man. You had just opened the door to the lobby, when you felt a tug at your dress. Looking down you were met with the bright blue eyes of your sisters son. A little boy at five years old who adored you.
“Where you going?”
You crouched down to his level, making the skirt of the dress you were wearing pool at the floor.
“Just outside to get some fresh air, I’ll be back and then we can see who is the fastest runner across the dancefloor, yeah?”
His entire face lit up at your question, and he nodded enthusiastically, curls bouncing on his head.
“Okay, I’ll go put on my fast shoes!”
Before you could say anything else, he was off. So you stood up, and sighted at the aching in your feet. Until you looked outside. You completely forgot tabou the aching in your feet. Your heart clenched round nothing as you watched Calum, stand in front of the door, with a nervous smile on his lips.
Carefully you walked up to him.
“Hi, sweetheart.”
For a second you closed your eyes to pretend everything was fine, but it wasn’t and you felt like throwing up.
“I think we need to talk.”
That’s what he said when you didn’t respond. And maybe, even if you didn’t want to admit it, you wanted to fix this.
“You owe me an explanation.”
You spoke up, and if you looked a little closer you could see some tension letting go of his shoulders.
“I know, fuck I know”
He looked okay this evening, not happy, but okay. With his black skinny jeans and light blue button up shirt and vans.
“Let’s take a walk okay?”
The stars were shining and it was a perfect day to hold a wedding. If you did get to say so yourself.
“It was never my intention to hurt you, you do know that, right?”
You sighted.
“How can you break up with anyone like that, and expect them not to get hurt?”
His arm kept on brushing yours and you knew he wanted to grab your hand and intertwine your fingers, but he never would until he knew you were okay.
“I guess not. The thing is, that fight we had the night before really got me thinking-”
You looked up at him, he didn’t meet your eyes though, as if he was ashamed.
“- like, if I lost you or we started fighting when I’m on the road, then I wouldn’t know how to handle it. I wouldn’t know how to deal with it. Cause I already shut down enough as it is.”
Carefully you laced your fingers together with his. Squeezing his hand.
“Don’t beat yourself up over this. We are both at fault. If i just would have listened back then maybe things would have been different right now.”
Calum stopped and turned to face you. Taking a strand of your hair and carefully twisting it around his finger, he looked at you.
“I really love you, still. And I don’t want to lose you. Please give us a second chance?”
His hand that was playing with your hair went to your neck and the other cautiously pulled you closer to him by the waist.
“Promise me one thing then?-”
He quickly nodded
“- promise to talk to me, even when we’re fighting. I’ve got your back you know?”
“Yeah, I can do that.”
------
Back at the hotel you were attempting to dance with Calum, both chuckling at your failed attempt, when Calum looked down at a small figure, your nephew.
“Can we race now?”
You couldn’t help but chuckle at him. With his tie askew and cake smeared all over his face.
“Of course, let me just take of my shoes. They are so slow to run in.”
At once he got this very obvious mischievous look on his entire face.
“No! Keep them on, it don’t matter, mum forgot my fast shoes at home.”
So you cleared the dance floor pretty quickly and got ready on the short side of the floor. Calum and your sister on the other side. Then someone yelled out
Ready! Set! Go!
Your intention was never to win so you pretended to look confused when Go! sounded throughout the room. And the purest laughter sounded from the boy that was running as fast as his little legs could carry him.
“Noo”
You wailed as you ran straight ahead.
With a smile on your lips and laughter surrounding you, you were at the top of the world. You crossed “the finish line” after your nephew. And ran straight into Calums arms. He lifted you up and spun you in the air. Before setting you down and kissing you. If there were any jealous girls in the room the all shut up when they saw the love he held for you.
A/N: Hi! So I started writing this as sort of a celebration for hitting 3.5k (which is crazy to me), and now I’m about to my next hundred! So thanks for that. S/O to DJ @singledadharrington for being my beautiful beta and for your encouraging words♥♥ This is the first serious thing I’ve ever written and I hope you enjoy it!
Based On: This Girl by Hunter Hayes (x)
I love this girl, watching that throwback movie with a glass of wine
Thunder crashed over Ashton as he pulled into your driveway, his studio session not going quite as planned. The band had been reluctant to call it a day, but they also weren’t being productive. A streak of lightning flashed in the horizon, but he was almost to your apartment now. The rain had started suddenly about halfway through his drive back from the studio. He’d been annoyed beforehand, but didn’t mind the rain. The rain meant you being wrapped in his arms, legs intertwined with one another. His favorite kind of day.
Sure enough, when he walked into your apartment, there you were: wrapped in a blanket, one hand cradling a glass of wine and the other keeping the blanket wrapped tight around you, eyes affixed to the television playing Pretty Woman. A soft smile spread across Ashton’s face as he watched your lips move in time with the lines. Shedding his jacket and his shoes, he places his keys in the key dish, and plods over to the couch.
“Mind if I join you?” He asks, already sliding in beside you. You shoot him a glance, place your wine glass down, and hold your finger to your lips, “Shhh babe, this is my favorite part!” Ash rolls his eyes, wraps his arm around your shoulders and places a kiss to your temple. A grin the size of the Cheshire Cat begins to spread across his face as you emphatically recite Vivian’s speech to Edward, never missing a beat. This moment made him glad that he’d come home early, otherwise he wouldn’t have realized that he was overwhelmingly head over heels for you.
I’m falling more and more every minute, and I don't think I can live without her
You were curled up reading by the light of the bedside table lamp, when you got the text from Ash.
Ashhole: Stay w u 2nite?
You knew he was out with the boys, it was Thursday night after all. They’d probably been drinking for a couple hours. Ashton liked to think he could hold his liquor, but really it just took longer to hit him.
Y/N: Sure babe, be safe. Make sure you’re drinking water my love xx
Your lip perks up a bit, you hadn’t been expecting to see Ashton until at least Saturday. You wondered what drunk Ashton would make an appearance today: philosophical Ashton or energetic Ashton. Half an hour passed before you found out.
The front door unlocked and you could hear several sets of feet enter, walking towards the bedroom. You set your book on the night table, as the bedroom door opened and in stumbled Ashton being partially carried by both Cal and Michael.
“Y/N! Light of my life, muse for my soul, fire of my loins!” Ashton called out, the boys dumping him on his side of the bed.
Calum giggled as Michael made a disgusted face, “Dude! I don’t wanna hear about your loins!” Calum wraps his arm around Michael’s shoulders, “Hey, Ash can’t help it. The loins want what the loins want,” earning him a punch to his arm from his friend. You laugh at their stupid antics and gave Ash a once-over to see if you could handle him on your own.
“Alright boys, I’ll take it from here.” You get up from the bed, much to Ashton’s chagrin.
“Baaaabe,” he whined, “they know how to leeeeave.”
You roll your eyes, “yeah but I gotta lock the door you bum.”
The three of you leave him pouting, as you walk Calum and Michael to the door.
“He wouldn’t shut up about you y’know. The whole night.” Calum says, as he hugs you.
“Yeah, he was like that annoying song that gets stuck in your head. We only put up with it because it was about you.” Michael says, giving you a tired smile.
You beam back at them, letting them out only after they ensure you that they’ll get home safe. You lock the door, shut off the lights and head back to your room, shutting the door.
You look at Ashton, who’d gotten his shoes and shirt off, working on his pants. He was looked back at you, with the dopiest smile. You take in Ash’s appearance: his hair messy and falling, his hazel eyes were glassy, and cheeks flushed from the alcohol. His chest was out, boasting his dark chest hair, shirt hanging on by a single button. You raise an eyebrow as you meet his eyes.
“You good there?” You question, walking towards the bed.
“Oh I’m beautiful, y/n,” finally undoing the button, taking off his pants before sliding into the bed, “Of course I’m nowhere near as beautiful as you.” You scoff as you lay down in bed next to him. Ash pulls you close, wrapping his arms around your waist, placing your head on his chest.
“Did you have fun tonight bub?” You ask, playing with the hair on his chest.
“Yeah...missed you though.” He candidly answers, kissing the top of your head. “What’d you do?”
“Nothing exciting really. Spoke to my sister, FaceTimed my mom. They both say hello. Mom wants to know when you wanna…” you trailed off, noticing how slow his breaths had gotten.
You reach over to turn off the light on the beside table. You lay back on Ash’s chest, and you’ve almost drifted to sleep yourself when Ash pipes up, “I like this,” his voice laced with fatigue, “coming home to you. Going to bed with you. Almost like it’s meant to be easy,” he yawns, “just like this.”
You look up at him, his eyes are closed, lips slightly raised in a content smile, dimples shadowing on his cheeks.
“Night, Ash” you whispered, placing a soft kiss on his lips.
“Night y/n, I love you.” He replies, causing your breath to stop. You two had been seeing each other for a couple months, dating exclusively for a while but hadn’t said the L word yet. Neither one of you wanted to put expectations on the other by saying it too early, knowing you had both been hurt by previous lovers. You’d wanted to say it a few times, but didn’t want him to not say it back. With a sad smile, you chalked it up to him being drunk, and soon found yourself in slumber.
How lucky am I that I get to love this girl?
I get to see that side of her that no one knows but me
When you were upset, the number one rule was to not let people see you be anything but poised. They didn’t get to see you in your moments of weakness because you felt that damaged the strong, independent woman image that you’d constructed around yourself. When Ashton found you, you were sitting in the bathtub. He could see the tension in your shoulders, smell the lavender bath salts in the air as you were attempting to cool down. You looked like you were a ball of stress, and Ash felt bad that he couldn’t do anything about it. You had seen him walk in, yet hadn’t said a word to him, which was uncommon for you. So, he left you to your bath and waited until you were ready. You found him on the couch, waiting for you. Taking a seat in the armchair, you wrapped your arms around your legs, and stared aimlessly at whatever Ashton was watching, not really caring or understanding what it was going on.
“Y/N, honey, you need to eat something.” Ashton urges as he set spaghetti down on the coffee table in front of you. You had no idea when the movie had ended or when Ashton had started cooking, but you knew he was right. Ash himself sat down across from you with his own plate, face etched in worry. You pick up your fork, and twirl the spaghetti on the fork. “Okay, that’s step one.” He jokes. “Step two is lifting it up and getting it in your mouth. Like this,” Ash says, demonstrating by putting his fork in his mouth as if you were a child. “Step three is to chew like this.” He began to chew emphatically, loudly smacking. This garnered him an eye roll, which made him feel like a kid in a candy store because at least you were reacting. You put the spaghetti in your mouth with a sarcastic smile, “Happy?”
“Not if you’re not.” He replies, shocking you thoroughly. It’s been a couple of weeks since his late night confession. He didn’t seem to remember it, and so you’d been acting like he never said anything. You look down, playing with the noodles on your plate, pushing them around. “Hey,” he says tenderly, “we don’t have to talk about it. It might help you but I’m not gonna push you. Okay?” You look up at him, gratitude and anger and sorrow all swirling in your eyes.
“Yeah, okay.” You gave him a sad smile, and tried to eat because he wanted you to. He chatted nonchalantly about his next tech-free vacation in a cabin in the Nevada mountains, complete with fishing and bonfires. You’d finished what you were going to eat, satisfying Ashton who whisked the plates into the kitchen.
When he returned you were feeling a little better, so you joined him on the couch. On a commercial, you begin to speak. “Thanks Ashton. I’m not used to this...the whole ‘someone cares when I get into a funk’ thing?” His hand intertwined with yours as you continued, “I really,” your voice began to wobble as tears threaten your eyes, “a-appreciate you being here for me, but also giving me my space. So thank you. And thank you for not making me talk about it.” You gave his hand a squeeze and tried to fight the tears in your eyes, but a few fell anyway.
“Hey,” Ash said wiping the tears, “you don’t have to explain yourself to me, or to anyone else for that matter. It’s my job to be here for you, it’s what people do when they’re in lo…” he took half a hair of a pause, “relationships.” Your eyes widened slightly, wondering if you had imagined him almost saying the L word again. You wanted him to say it again, consciously, so you could say it back. He tinged a bit pink before continuing, “It’s okay to cry Y/N, you get to withdraw. You get to be sad, you don’t have to be so damn strong all the time. And when you need someone to tell you that, I’ll be here. No matter what.” Ash pulled you into his side, wrapping his arms around your frame, kissing your temple. Internally, he was cursing himself for almost saying he was in love with you. What if you weren’t ready for that yet? He didn’t want to ruin what the two of you had. You pulled back and placed kisses on his forehead, his nose, and finally placed a soft kiss on his lips.
“Thanks Ashton, I don’t know how I got so lucky.”
He tinged a deeper pink as his cheeks, “I ask myself that all the time Y/N.”
My paradise is that bedhead beauty with the sleepy eyes
My best night is any one that ends with her
You had spent the day at Ashton’s, you’d come over the night before and it had been too late to drive home. When you awoke, you were facing Ash with his arm wrapped around your waist. You took this moment to look at your boyfriend. Ashton’s eyes were closed, his eyelashes splayed a crossed his cheeks, his lips slightly parted as he breathed. His hair was a curled bird’s nest atop his head, making you smile as you remembered running your hands through it last night during a heavy makeout session. Even with the bedhead, he was still one of the most beautiful people you’d ever seen. It was more than his appearance though, it was who he was as a person. Ashton was patient and kind, he didn’t push you when you were upset. He was optimistic, trying to see the good in everything, even when the chips were down. You knew this was something he’d had to adapt and it could be hard sometimes, but that didn’t stop him. Ashton was open minded and took all facts into consideration before making decisions, a quality that is rare in a person, never mind a 24 year old rockstar. That rockstar passion of his carried over to more than just his drumming. Ashton would no questions bury a body for his friends and family. He was exactly the kind of person everyone needed in their life.
And as a boyfriend? You couldn’t ask for much more. He was attentive to you without being overbearing, listening intently to you talk about things he had no clue about or interest in. He made sure to send at least a good morning and good night text everyday. Whenever he saw something that made him think of you, whether that be flowers on the side of the road or a new notebook, he made sure to get it for you. Everything between the two of you was mutual, and talked about. You were still getting used to having a boyfriend who wasn’t just in the relationship because of the sex or the fact that you didn’t ask their every move; one who didn’t try to control you. Ashton was a breath of fresh air. The calm after many storms had hit you, and you knew a couple of weeks in, you loved him. Point blank. It scared you how much you wanted, no, needed him around; how much he constantly took up your thoughts, wondering what he was doing and he was remembering to eat and sleep properly. You’d wanted to tell him a couple of times, but didn’t know how to slip it in. Everytime you thought about saying it, you chickened out. You wished you could just say it, but you didn’t want to scare him with these big feelings you were having. But you wanted to shout that you loved Ashton from the rooftops. As he stirred awake, his eyes opening slowly, a smile when he saw you beside him, you knew you had to tell him and you had to tell him soon.
My real deal girl with her hair up, guard down, telling me what's on her mind
Ashton turned the key to unlock the door to your apartment, feeling like he’d been using your key more than his own lately. But as long as you weren’t turning him away, he’d keep coming back. You were sitting up against the headboard on your bed, reading something on your phone when he came in. You’d changed from your work clothes and were chilling in sweats, glass of wine on your bedside table. Ashton took off his shoes and jacket and joined you on the bed. You finished the article, locked your phone and turned your body to give him your attention. He took your hand in his and intertwined your fingers. He looked a bit off, not his usual happy self.
“Ashton, what’s wrong bub?” Worry laced your question, he had been fine when he’d left a couple hours ago to go shower and grab some clothes from his place. He shrugged in response, fiddling with your fingers in his hand. You were confused, had you said something? Was he regretting this?
He sighed and turned to look at you, his eyes dulled. Ash was not one to hold back, so he took a breath, before speaking.
“It’s just...what are we...what is this that we’re doing?” He was making direct eye contact, making you squirm a bit.
“Um…” you hesitated, “Where is this coming from?”
“It’s just I can’t tell if we’re on the same page. If we’re in this together. What is this to you? Is this short term? Is it long term? Because if it’s short term...let me know now. I can’t risk it again.”
Your heart began to break in your chest, you cleared your throat, and move from the bed. Pacing the room as you begin to answer his question. “I don’t know about you, but I’m in this for however long you are. I go to sleep thinking about you, I wake up wondering if you’re up. I miss you all the time when you’re in the studio for days on end. I worry about if you’re getting enough sleep and if you remembered to schedule your appointment for the optometrist like you’ve been saying you would for months.” “I…” Ashton tries to interrupt, but you hold your hand up to stop him because if you don’t, you were never gonna get this out. “I feel safe with you, unguarded. Like I could say anything in the world and you wouldn’t question it. I love how open you are with your fans, and how affectionate you are with your family. I love how passionate you are with your beliefs, but not so passionate that you’re dogmatic. I love the way you listen no matter what, and you know when to back off. I love that you call me out when I’m being outrageous. I love that you pull me closer when we sleep. That you cuddle after we have sex, and you don’t just turn over. You ask if I’m okay with plans all the time. You kill the spiders that I will not touch,” this elicited a giggle from Ashton. You give him a smile and go back to intertwine your hand with his, “Ashton, I love your mind and how thoughtful you are. And apparently it’s taken way too long for me to say it when I’ve felt this since the beginning,” you rushed, “but I love you, I am in love with you and I am falling for you more and more every day.” You finished, heart pumping rapidly. The room was silent, you were sure Ashton could hear your heart’s rhythm. You nervously began to fidget with the comforter, waiting for Ashton to say something.
“Ash, can you say something? It’s fine if you don’t feel the same way, I’ll be fine...I just. I can’t lose—“ it was his time to silence you, with a soft finger to your lips.
“Wait...why didn’t you say anything when I told you I loved you that night I stayed over? After the night with the boys?” Ashton inquired honestly.
“I didn’t know if you would remember and I didn’t want to tie you to something you said when you were drunk. What if you were just saying it y’know? I couldn’t do that to myself, not again…” you were rambling again and Ashton stopped you again.
“Would you hold on a second so I can tell you officially that I love you too? I love that you go on long winded rants and that you pick out all the orange and yellow skittles to eat first so that the rest of the pack is only the good flavors.” He smiles at you, making your heart warm. “I love that you fight me on things all the time and that I can come to you at any point and you’ll drop everything. I love that you let your guard down, you let me see the real you. The strong and beautiful, caring and sarcastic version of you that you try to hide. I love that you don’t start driving until you pick the perfect song, and that you sing off key to my music when you’re in the shower and you don’t know I’m here.” Ashton gets closer, stroking your cheek and making sure you were listening. He leaned in a little bit, before dropping to just above a whisper, his eyes searching yours as if looking for answers, “I’m in it for as long as you want to be, because I love you too.” You leaned the rest of the way in and met Ashton’s lips with your own. You wound your hands in his hair, as he pressed his to your back, pulling you in, trying to get your bodies as close as possible. This kiss was full of all the love that you guys had been negligent of admitting, it was hard and soft. You pulled back for air, and placed your foreheads together, giggling,
“I love you” you said.
Ashton placed kisses all over your face, eliciting giggles from you. He beamed at you, “I love you too. God am I gonna love hearing that all the time.”
Hi friends! The holidays are here and I wanted to give back this holiday season. Creating this tumblr was the best thing I ever did and I’ve made so many friends from it, so I want to show my appreciation to everyone who follows me and has supported me since I made this blog. Christmas is my favorite time of the year so this Christmas I have a couple things planned. The first part of this plan is I’m going to be sending out Christmas cards to anyone who wants one as a way to say thank you for making the latter half of this year amazing.
These Christmas cards will come with a personalized message from me inside, And no, you don’t have to celebrate Christmas in order to get a card, (but the card you receive will be holiday themed just so you’re aware).
How do you get a card?
**You must be willing to send me your address.**
Step 1: Reblog this post!
Step 2: Send me your name and address either through an ask or an instant message.
And that’s it.
Your personal information will not be shared anywhere. I will delete the asks as soon as I’ve addressed your card and you’ll receive a message from me as to when it’s been sent. The earlier you get them in the better!
Warnings: smut, swearing, some mean comments, a little bit of self-hatred that gets fixed, slight praise kink?
Prompt: After announcing your relationship with Michael, fans are quick to judge, but Mikey is there to show you just how much he loves you, despite the flooding comments.
A/N: My work is not to be reposted on any other site without my permission.
Three days. It took three days for the comments about you and Michael to finally get to you. Six months of a quiet and intimate relationship that was kept secret between you, him, and his closest friends and family was now plastered all over twitter, instagram, facebook and every other social media site out there. You were happy to announce it and Michael was even happier, sifting through all his favorite pictures of you two to pick the perfect one—and he didn’t even pick just one, he picked five different ones to share. But the kickback of hate, the comments flooding your notifications, was enough to bring you back to square one, unsure of being with him in the first place.
‘Who even is she?’
‘She’s just using Michael for fame.’
‘wow, michael would pick someone that ugly. he probably felt sorry for her.’
You felt sick going through your mentions, poking at your stomach when someone mentioned the word fat, hands going through your hair when you saw a comment about how unhealthy it looked, chewing on your nails when someone said you weren’t good enough for Michael.
It was a lot and it didn’t seem to be slowing down like Michael assured it would. You both took a day away from social media on the night that he had shared the pictures and instead watched movies on the couch until you both fell asleep, bellies hurting from the laughter and all the sugar you had consumed. It was like nothing was different. It was still just the two of you in your new and exciting and somewhat secretive relationship.
Eventually, you couldn’t take the comments, throwing your phone onto the counter and jogging up the stairs to shower. Michael was at the studio, and you figured he wouldn’t be home for another hour or so. The shower would give you a chance to clear your head and hopefully relax you and help you forget about what people were saying.
Unfortunately, it did quite the opposite. You had washed your hair and your face, crying into the stream as your thoughts were clouded with the words you had read. You weren’t good enough for Michael. Michael could do better. He didn’t really love you he was just trying to be a nice person. You didn’t even finish your shower, quickly getting out and throwing a towel around your body, your hair dripping onto the tile floor as you sat on the toilet seat, face in your palms and just cried.
It shouldn’t hurt this bad. You really shouldn’t be letting it get to you, but it was. You were thankful your phone was downstairs and you couldn’t see any more of the comments, but you knew they were flooding in and… oh my god, Michael was going to know too. And it seemed he already did know when he came running up the stairs, shouting your name.
“Bathroom,” you respond, unable to hide the hurt in your voice. He jiggles the handle before knocking twice.
“It’s locked.”
You hold back a sigh, not wanting to worry him even more than he probably already is. You unlock the door and Michael doesn’t hesitate to push it open, taking you into his arms. He sets you on the bathroom counter, his lips moulding with yours, his tongue gliding along your bottom lip, eager to explore.
“Michael, stop,” you voice with one hand on his chest as his lips move to your neck and his hand grips your thigh under the towel. He pulls back, his eyes falling to yours, a look of sadness behind the greeny-blues. You drop your head as your bottom lip wobbles. “I don’t want you to… to do this just because you feel like you have to to make me feel better. It’s okay if you don’t-d-don’t really love me.”
“Y/N,” he begs, his finger under your chin to make you look at him. “Do you think I’m just taking pity on you?”
You nod against his hand, blinking back tears. This was it. He was going to admit that he really just felt sorry for you and he didn’t actually love you. He was going to leave you and you only had so much time to prepare. You thought about what the fans were going to think, hell, they’d probably rejoice knowing he’d left you.
“Well, you’re wrong.” Your lip stops bobbling at his words, your thoughts freeze, and for the first time since he’s been home, you actually look him in the eyes and keep your vision there.
“I love you, Y/N. I do. I’m not just saying that because you need to hear it. I really do love you.” His hand cups your cheek and he brushes his thumb against the bone, something you love so incredibly much that he does.
“The-the things they were saying about me-”
“Don’t mean a fucking thing,” he interrupts, his voice soft. “Not to me, baby. I don’t even look twice at those things.”
You nod, holding onto his bicep. “I’m sorry,” you breathe. “I love you, too, Michael.”
“I know you do.” He presses a kiss to your forehead, trailing little pecks down your nose and to your lips. His hands reach around your back as he kisses you, palms splayed out against the towel that fit snugly on your body. He slowly found the tucked end, untucking it and pushing it off your torso, letting it lay on the bathroom counter.
Michael’s hands gripped your thighs, pulling you off the counter and into his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist and your arms around his neck and he supported you with his hands under your thighs, carrying you across the hall and to his bedroom, his mouth only leaving yours for a few seconds so he could find his way.
He lays you down on the bed, your feet hanging off the side. He kneels down in front of you, placing soft kisses against your inner thighs.
“You’re so perfect,” he whispers, trailing his lips to your stomach and down the other leg, ending again on your inner thigh. “I love you so much. You know that?”
You nod, one hand pushing his blonde hair out of his face while your other hand deftly trailed over your own stomach. “I know.”
“Let me show you how much I love you.”
“Please,” you whimper as he blows a puff of cool air against your center. You arch your back, fingers gripping his hair now and trying to tug his lips to your heat, wanting to feel his mouth on you. He goes with your movements, leaving soft kisses against your folds and clit, the slightest bit of pleasure for you, but certainly not enough. You beg under your breath for him to just do something, but he teases you instead, pressing his tongue flat against your core, licking a slow teasing stripe from your entrance to your clit. You moan at the feeling, fist gripping his hair tighter.
He throws your legs over his shoulders, hands resting on the back of your thighs as he suddenly goes to town, eating you out like you’re his last meal. He ravishes your pussy, tongue thrusting into you occasionally and mouth pulling at your clit.
“Want you to cum for me, Y/N,” Michael says, his head popping up from between your thighs. He doesn’t wait long before delving back in, finding all the little spots that make you writhe and moan.
“Michael,” you groan, hips lifting off the bed and you tug on his hair as he works you through your release.
“Taste so good, babe. Love having you fall apart on my tongue like this,” he praises, easing off of you slowly.
Before he crawls over you again, he discards himself of his shirt, hands dancing along your rib cage as he situates himself above you.
“God. I love you so much, Y/N. You’re fucking beautiful,” he practically moans, grinding his bulge against your soaking cunt, feeling the wetness seep through the denim.
“Mikey,” you hum, holding onto his shoulders. “Michael, I want you. Please,” you beg, pulling him down over you to kiss him.
He pushes his jeans and boxers down messily and clumsily, trying to kick them off as quickly as possible. Michael wastes no time in lining himself up with your entrance, sinking into your heat with a loud groan.
His body blankets you and you lock your legs around his waist, drawing him closer. His forehead is pressed against yours and you share breathy kisses every now and then.
“I love you,” he hums in between a kiss. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too.” Your words of affection split into a whine as he pounds into you. His pace is slow but his thrusts are hard, pushing you up the mattress each time.
You arch your back, fingernails digging into his bare skin. “Oh my god, Michael!” you yell, your forehead now pressed against his shoulder.
“Shit baby. You’re so beautiful. You take me so well. Love this.”
“Me too,” you gasp, leaving open-mouthed kisses on his shoulder blade and to his collarbone.
“Gonna cum, Y/N. I’m so close, oh fuck!” His thrusts falter as he cums but he doesn’t stop moving until you’re moaning along with him, spiraling through your second orgasm that leaves you sated and a little sleepy.
“I love you,” Michael whispers, peppering kisses along your face.
“I know,” you mumble and drag your fingers up and down his back. “Thank you, Mikey.” He nods, presses his forehead to yours and then tilts down enough to kiss your lips, the gesture enough to say all the words he doesn’t.
