#tiagicwap asks

[coniferouspines]

Hello, poking my head into your fine establishment bearing gf au stuffs

I'm curious what you think Gift Ford would make of Negotiator Stan and what Gift Stan would make of Negotiator Ford? Or just that general situation lmao.

I can't help but think Negotiator Stan would be in two minds a bit; thrilled that this is a Ford that threw everything in the air and said 'fuck you' to the world that's never done anything for him and taken that power for himself. I don't think Negotiator Stan would be particularly offput by the way that Gift Ford is either lmao; he's a bit of an obsessive weirdo himself. But then again, I think Stan - who is angling for an eventuality where he and his Ford are equals would be a little offput by the purposeful denial of power for Gift Stan. His Ford clearly can't take care of himself and he's had to step in - he's the protector. That's his job, why are you taking his job? You deny your Stanley his purpose.

Meanwhile, Negotiator Ford is staring back at Gift Stan like. Blink twice if you need help? Maybe we can escape if we work together? He's very anxious and untrusting but if this guy is in the same situation as him... maybe they can sort something out. He wouldn't hesitate to tell Stan the sorts of things Bill was capable of or show him what he did to him as a way of like warning him to not underestimate him.

Yet the situations are kinda different in a drastic sense because... well, because Negotiator Stan is always planning for Ford to join him as an equal, his arrangements aren't very great. He lets Bill treat Ford in a demeaning way because it's basically just a 'hazing ritual' for him to be treated a bit like how he is in canon (minus the torture); plus if he really wants it to stop, he can just join them. If humans are an inferior lifeform, and he insists on being human, that's basically him choosing team powerless. Not that he minds too much, but he is eager for them to be working together at some point. Meanwhile, Gift Stan is relatively given everything he could want and treated fairly kindly, but without any hope for that sort of 'freedom' he could possibly want. They're both sort of condescended to in very similar but very different ways, but indeed the 'aw you can't make your own decisions' brothers prosper lol.

the 'aw you can't make your own decisions' brothers prosper 🤝🤝

(For those unaware, this is Negotiator Stan)

These guys would be such an interesting combo. Gift Ford is always a little put off by dimensions where Bill chose Stan instead of him, but one look at Negotiator Ford and he’s like “ah, I see.”

Gift Ford would be happy for a chance to talk with a Stan who isn’t sensitive. One he doesn’t have to hold back around and can be evil brothers with :) He completely understands Negotiator Stan’s decision in trapping Negotiator Ford away for his own good, and that sometimes brothers don’t make the best decisions and need decisions to be made for them :)

He’s affectionate with Negotiator Stan, but also still condescending, because as much as Negotiator Stan is a henchmaniac too, Gift Ford will always think he knows better because he’s the older brother. In this case, he’s for Negotiator Stan trying to get Negotiator Ford on his side and join Bill and be equals—because any poor Stan needs their big brother! Negotiator Ford isn’t doing a great job right now of taking care of his little brother. Of course Negotiator Stan needs him as an equal.

Equality is not needed in Gift Ford’s case, of course, because he’s the big brother. So him being the one with power and control only makes sense, and Gift Stan doesn’t need to worry about all those things, just trust his brother to care for him :) If he has no power and is completely dependent on Gift Ford for everything, then he’ll never try to leave because he’ll feel too helpless without his Ford :)

They might have an argument about the protector thing though. Gift Ford firmly believes that a Stan’s purpose is to exist as a Ford’s twin. Why does he have to do anything? He’s the younger brother, he’s the one who should be protected and taken care of! What does Negotiator Stan mean protecting is his job? He just made that up! He can’t just make things up and claim that as every Stan’s purpose!

(Gift Ford ignores the fact that he too made up what he thinks Stan’s purpose is. Of course anything he decides is correct because he is always right.)

Despite that, they’d probably get along well, being an obsessive weirdo 🤝 obsessive weirdo duo

Gift Stan meanwhile would feel quite sympathetic to Negotiator Ford. He knows what it’s like to be locked away and have your autonomy and choices taken from you. It would be a little weird to him, to see it in reverse, and he would be both appalled that another version of himself did this to his Ford, and also a little jealous. Because hey, why does that Stan get cool powers and I don’t? :(

Gift Stan and Negotiator Ford would probably do a lot of mutual complaining about their over-possessive brothers with each other, and Gift Stan… actually might be convinced to help Negotiator Ford escape his situation. But even if they did make it out, Negotiator Ford would find that Gift Stan would just watch him go and not follow. Because in the end, Gift Stan can’t bear to leave Gift Ford.

Though Gift Stan would also try and sell Negotiator Ford on pretending to join the dark side, then once he has powers and can do what he wants, turning on Bill and leaving. Just scam himself into position to be able to be strong enough to oppose Bill and Negotiator Stan.

Gift Stan would also tell Negotiator Stan to treat his brother nicer. Because he’s being too mean :( Gift Ford doesn’t think much of it, because it’s happening to a Ford and not a Stan, but Gift Stan would convince him to also tell Negotiator Stan to be nicer to his Ford.

[coniferouspines]

(For context this is set few years after the "What if Ford let Stan leave except jk it was a test and he failed so Ford's never letting him outside again" thing so Stan's been heavily conditioned by Ford into the "Big Brother" esc stuff)

"We're almost there, no peaking" Ford said.

"I'm not gonna peak" Stan promised.

Stan was blindfolded and being led by Ford to his present. It was their birthday and Big Brother said he had a big surprise planned for him.

Eventually they left the hallway and went into a room.

There must've been a fan or something in here because there was a slight breeze. It was warm, almost like there was sunlight beaming down, and it smelled like Pine needles. The ground was softer here, like dirt instead of hardwood like most of the Fearamid.

"Now the ground it a little uneven here so be careful. Don't worry, Big Brother will make sure you don't fall"

He was right, the ground was very uneven here. It felt like tree roots.

"Alright" Ford said as they stopped. "This should be far enough. Take off your blindfold"

Stan did just that and squinted as his eyes adjusted to the bright light.

His jaw dropped at what he saw. They were in a forest, a forest just like the ones on Earth. It had trees that towered above them, Stan could make out an open sky above them, it was everything he had dreamed of since Big Brother brought him home.

"I know how much you've missed going outside" Ford said. "And while I can't go back on my word, since it's your birthday and you've been so good lately, I've made you this" He gestured to the scene around them.

"This is a pocket dimension I've created just for you. You can walk as far as you want and explore to your heart's content without ever reaching any sort of end. It also mimics the environment outside the Fearamid so it will change with the weather, time of day, and seasons"

Stan couldn't believe his ears. "You mean it? It's all for me?"

"Well of course the rest of our family can come and go as they please but yes, I made it just for you Baby Brother. Happy Birthday"

Stan hugged Big Brother with all the thankfulness he could give. "I love it, thank you Big Brother"

Ford returned the hug. "You're welcome. Now, I've arranged for a few hours for us to explore. What do you want to do?"

Stan hadn't felt as happy as he had exploring his new present in a long time. They found a lake to skip stones in, a clearing to cloud watch, a Plaidypus den (Big Brother had brought some safe animals like squirrels and birds to the Forest, and even some anomalies from the town he lived in before Bill came). It felt like a dream, the sun on his face, the wind in his hair, the chirping of birds, the smell of the trees, every little thing Stan hadn't felt in years.

Eventually Ford said they had to go back.

"Do we have to?" Stan asked Big Brother. "What if we stayed just a little bit longer?"

"Don't worry, you'll be able to come back later" Big Brother assured him. "But for now we have other things to do. And I need to show you how to get back inside"

Ford pulled out a watch from his coat. Instead of a clock face, it had a compass. He pressed it like a button and it glowed while the needle moved to a different direction.

"This will help point you back home. There's many in the entryway for you to grab and a few hidden throughout the forest if you loose it. And in the worst case scenario, I'll come looking for you eventually if I think you're lost".

They followed the compass for a little bit until they saw a room with one wall open. The walls were lined with more compasses and there was a door in the middle.

They walked through and suddenly they were in a hallway in the Fearamid like it was a normal room.

"Now", Ford said. "Let's get cleaned up and then head to the main dinning room. The rest of the family should be there waiting for us with dinner, cake, and more presents"

Stan smiled as he followed Ford.

He was so lucky to have him as a big brother

(The end! Happy Birthday Stan, enjoy the faux outside Ford gave you! Just ignore the fact that Ford's the entire reason you can't actually leave in the first place.

Also I would like to mention Ford conditions Stan into thinking of the forest room as "outside" even though its still in the Fearamid.

Hope you enjoyed! Have a good day, evening, and/or night!)

This was a delight to find in my inbox after work 🤌🤌

(If anyone doesn’t know the context Saphire is talking about it’s this oneshot right here: Rushing Towards the Skyline)

Ford made him his own pocket dimension forest 🥺 it’s so sweet 🥺🥺 If you ignore how evil the whole situation is because Ford is the cause of it. It’s sweet 🥺

I think it would be cute if at some points Ford hides or buries treasure in various places for Stan to find. His own little treasure hunts :’) just like he wanted as kids…

If this was set earlier, I would think Stan might use the pocket dimension forest to purposefully hide away from Ford and get some alone time. But since it’s been years I’d bet Stan is too conditioned to want to do that 😔 why would he hide from Big Brother?

But yay! Happy birthday Stan! :) Big Brother has given you an inside outside! He’s also conditioned you to believe you’re the reason you can’t actually go outside anymore. It’s not Ford’s fault, of course. It’s Stan’s for trying to leave and making bad choices :)

But AHHHHGHHH I LOVED IT 🩷💜 Pocket dimension forest is such a big brain move 🤌🤌🤌🤌 And Stan really would think it’s the best present Ford has ever given him, considering his circumstances. Poor guy is so trapped and conditioned that he’s truly grateful for this 😭

[coniferouspines]

How do you suppose the Gift twins would react to Stan^4

(Stan^4 by @thoughtless-in-space)

So many Stan’s and Ford’s. Gift Stan just wants to leave them to their mess until he sees the Ford’s hurt. Then he’s 🥺🥺 This is what happens to versions of his brother when Ford isn’t evil and doesn’t choose to join Bill? Hatred for Bill magnified.

Also maybe a little “why can’t my Ford be less evil and more like these Ford’s? These Ford’s seem nice.” Although a little awkward if teen or paranoid Ford show any sort of resentment to him, because Gift Stan is only used to his Ford showing him smothering amounts of love. He doesn’t really know what to do with a Ford who maybe doesn’t like him.

Gift Ford is butting into everyone’s business. If he learns Bill threatened the Stan’s he’s not happy. He likes Grunkle Ford. Look at this feral guy, doing his best to protect Stanley :) what a good Ford—hey! No biting >:(

Each Stan gets their turn being cooed over because they’ve been through “something so so scary” and big brother has to comfort them so they feel better :)

He doesn’t understand why the Ford’s won’t just open the portal and let Bill in though. Take advantage of the situation, guys! Bill can give you power and everything you want. Oh, did he try to kill Stan? This Bill can rot then :)

The youngest Stan’s get fretted over the most. Gift Ford is picking them up and cuddling kid and teen Stan and telling them how wonderful they are and how nothing is their fault, they don’t know any better, and it’s all okay because big brother will help now. He tells Mullet and Grunkle Stan this as well, and is very happy to see how close the Grunkle twins are.

If Bill shows up possessing anyone Gift Ford could take care of it easily. Bill doesn’t have the same powers without his own physical form in the world, so he’s not much threat compared to what Gift Ford can do.

[coniferouspines]

[whispers] hey. hey. au of tiagicwap with stan not remembering who ford is. this weird guy who looks like him is putting a bounty out on this stan guy— wait shit thats his face isn’t it. fuck. shit. what the hell did he do to piss this guy off so much.

i would say he wouldn’t necessarily be as scared of ford with no context but like. gift ford would not take it well let’s be real

gift ford showing up in stan’s dream for the first time. stan going wow this is a nice dream??? don’t get me wrong but a) who the fuck are you and b) am i stan???? like is that my name?????? and then gift ford loses his shit and stan is like “ahhhh im going to get murdered murdered by this guy ok”

stan is not going to try and manipulate his apparent evil twin thank you very fucking much— wait shit who’s this jorge guy? ok so is his name stanley pines? yes? no? and he does not think that he’s a fan of rico.

genuinely i think he would be much much much more scared of ford. the one moment of “ok maybe this is a weirdo i can get like housing out of” to “oh shit oh fuck he wants to wear my skin like a me suit or something”

meanwhile ford is just “oh noooooo my baby brother might not remember me i mean he might be lying (haha classic stanley) but clearly he might need me even more than he already would. oh nooooo he will clearly be so dependent on his big brother. whatever shall i do.” in the least believable voice of all time.

bill is in fact the only one having a great time. shermie’s kids are having an ok time because they don’t have any history with stan to have to mourn. everyone else is either miserable, terrified, or ford about the whole situation.

Stan seeing this guy with his face who’s one of the crazy new world dictator’s henchman: oh no. Why does he look like me? Did he steal my identity?

Stan: …

Stan: did I steal his identity?

The obvious answer of “this guy who looks identical to me might be a relative” doesn’t cross his mind until the first time Ford invades his dreams lmao

I feel like Stan is more scared, because he has zero context for why this guy has put a bounty on him. He has no idea who that is, but somehow they know him, and that can’t be good. They must want him dead!

But I could imagine the first dream going terribly because Stan remembers nothing, and Ford gets pissed to learn something happened to his little brother to cause him to lose his memory. Ford does not communicate this is the reason he is angry, so Stan just experiences “this guy hates me so much he’s raging just from talking to me briefly” and wakes up convinced this guy is going to brutally murder him.

RIP to Stan not believing anything Ford tells him in the dream because Ford seems too evil to be believed. And then its Jorge of all people that has Stan going “oooh so maybe that is my name and that guy wasn’t lying.” 😭

Ford is even more desperate to find Stan fast because his baby brother!! Doesn’t remember anything! How will he survive on his own in the cruel apocalypse world? He’ll get hurt or taken advantage of! Ford needs to get him fast and keep him safe! And make him understand that he can trust big brother of course :) he can only trust big brother :)

On one hand, Ford is going to look into helping Stan recover some memories, because he wants Stan to remember him and their family. On the other hand, Ford is also taking advantage of Stan being a blank slate to add a little manipulation in there and mold Stan into a more obedient and sweet little brother. One who will never ever leave because he trusts and loves his big brother so much :) and knows he could never survive on his own.

“or Ford about the whole situation” LMAO DOKDDNNS 😭😭😭 Yeah the other adult Pines are pretty devastated by the situation. Stan doesn’t remember them :( they haven’t seen him in so many years and he doesn’t even know who they are anymore :(

If they catch on to Ford trying to warp Stan’s personality a bit to be more what he wants of Stan then there’s tension. They’d all be mad at Ford for that.

[coniferouspines]

Joining in on multiverse shenanigans.

Putting my Son of Stan!Stan and Simon in front of Gift Ford and seeing how he reacts. Like a little white mouse and I’m placing forms of enrichment in front of him to see which ones he likes.

He’s flabbergasted by Stan with a son. Specifically Simon. Takes one look at the kid and is like “DID YOU HAVE A BABY WITH BILL???”

Simon is very fascinating to him though. Gift Ford is not put off by Simon’s behaviour or weirdness. There’s nothing wrong with that boy except why does he have Bill’s eye? Also Stanley how irresponsible of you to have a child when you already have a hard time looking after yourself. Where’s your big brother? He should be helping you. Look at how ragged and run down you are! Come here, Gift Ford will make things better :)

The idea of Stan having a kid is just wild to him. He’s never really considered it. This isn’t his Stan though, so it’s okay. But look at this poor Stanley—is he missing limbs?!

Stan gets fretted over by Gift Ford about his physical condition. Simon’s fingers intrigue him. He thinks this Stan needs to be brought to his Ford asap because Stan struggles to care for himself, and now there’s a nephew? Oh no, no, no, he needs a big brother.

[coniferouspines]

What if Gift Stan had like

This kidlet who followed and helped him

What would happen

I imagine based on this that this is a kid who is young, but old enough to be helpful in their own way. Or think they’re helpful. I’ve discussed in the past with someone what it would be like if Stan had been a dad with a baby, but not an older kid! 👀

Anyway, at first Stan would be distant. This is the apocalypse and it’s hard enough to take care of himself, he doesn’t want to be responsible for a kid. That just makes everything more complicated. He also can’t bear the idea of this kid getting hurt or dying when he’s around, so he tries to shoo the kid off so he doesn’t grow attached.

He grows attached.

So now he’s got this kid. Stan is still stuck with not wanting to be responsible for this kid while also not being able to send them away, knowing there’s no one else to take care of them. He could be killing them by sending them away. He can’t do that. Guess this is his kid now.

Stan is glad for the company, even if he feels terrible about putting a target on the kid’s back just by association with him. (Once he’s learned about the whole bounty thing Ford and Bill put out for him.) Stan is afraid of being so attached to this kid, knowing something horrible could happen to either of them at any time, but he’s too a big softie to help it.

Ford, on the other hand, is not impressed by this random child Stan has picked up. When he catches Stan, he tries to just leave the kid behind, but both Stan and kid are not happy with this. Ford debates just killing the kid, because it’s kind of annoying and surely Stan can’t be that attached to it? It’s not even his!

Stan protests this vehemently. To appease him, Ford tries to promise to give the kid to another family where they can have a stable life. Stan asks him where he’s going to find a stable family life in the middle of the apocalypse. Ford sighs like he’s being very put upon.

The kid ends up going with them, because Stan refuses to accept anything else and throws a huge fit about it. Ford is very grumpy about this, and privately starts planning on how to dispose of the kid once Stan is at home and settled in with his real family.

It’s a messy situation. Not helped when all the other Pines stand up for Stan and disapprove of Ford getting rid of the kid. Ford is not pleased by the situation at all and the only reason he doesn’t just kill the kid and be done with it is because then his family (and Stan) will be very upset with him.

It would take a long time for Ford to accept the kid as family. In comparison to a similar scenario where Stan had a baby, in which Ford would have an easier time accepting a baby as a new family member, even if the baby wasn’t biologically Stan’s. A bigger kid is like a complete stranger, and Ford doesn’t care about people outside of his family at all. So it takes longer to get him to accept an older kid.

The only reason Ford so easily accepts Shermie’s wife Judith as family is that he’s known Judith since he’s been like eight years old. So there’s been plenty of time for Ford’s brain to make the Judith = family connection. Anyone else not biologically related to him he doesn’t view as having much worth to him.

[coniferouspines]

Hii, I had a hilarious thought that I thought you would appreciate, based on something I half remembered someone drawing.

Basically, what if gift Stan decided to play a prank on Ford. Maybe his brother has been that little bit more overbearing recently, or keeps “subtly” suggesting that Stan allow himself to relax like when they were younger.

He doesn’t think it through at all, popping a few pieces of dry pasta in his mouth and asking Ford to crack his back.

Just imagining Ford’s reaction in the few moments after Stan collapses to the floor, before the joke is revealed. The horror and genuine disgust he feels towards his powers, the first and only time he even slightly regrets it, believing he’s just absolutely shattered Stan’s weak little human bones.

Bonus points if that actually did hurt a little, but Stan needs to commit to the bit

It’s Artimus btw, sorry for some reason discord wouldn’t let me swap to my writing blog😭

Hewwo @incorrigible-bastard

If Ford is going to insist on the big brother/little brother dynamic, then it’s only fair Stan prank him. As is younger sibling rights 👏

Ford is just overtaken by shock when Stan falls to the floor. He thought he was being so careful. Using barely any strength on his fragile little brother. How could this have happened?

When Stan doesn’t move Ford is filled with a horror and self-disgust so strong he staggers. He doesn’t fully understand the feelings, he’s never felt that way before. But Stan isn’t moving. His little brother is limp on the floor and did Ford just kill him?

Stan is trying so hard to hold his breath and be completely still, waiting for a reaction. All he gets at first is a choked noise from Ford, which isn’t satisfying. But then it’s followed by an agonized shriek of animalistic distress that makes all the hairs on Stan’s arms stand up.

Never in his life has he ever heard his twin make a sound like that. It chills him to hear.

The prank doesn’t seem as funny after that :( Stan jumps up to reassure Ford he’s fine and that he was faking. Ford is…

Ford is crying?

Oh no, oh no, oh no. Stan can’t remember when he last saw Ford cry. Surely not since they were very very young children. But Ford is crying now, and Stan is shocked, guilty, and sympathetic to his twin’s emotional pain. He hugs Ford and tries to comfort him.

Ford hugs back a little too tight, and Stan, who is a little sore because the back crack did hurt, makes a little noise of pain. This doesn’t help Ford, who becomes frantic over Stan and making sure he’s okay.

It takes a while for them to calm down. Afterward, Ford is not impressed by Stan’s prank, and Stan has to deal with his brother being pissy with him for a bit. Not long though, because all Stan has to do is widen his eyes and say, “I’m sorry, big brother. I love you” and Ford forgives him. But also makes sure Stan knows to never, ever do that again.

The sound of Ford’s scream haunts Stan for a long time after that.

[coniferouspines]

Hmm... What if Gift!Stan had Narcolepsy or sleepwalking? It would be very difficult to survive in the apocalypse with this, but the big brother would find him faster and help him) Just interesting what Gift!Ford does. For you 🍪🍪🍪

Thank!

Both could be dangerous for Stan, so Ford would definitely be speeding up the search. Stan falling asleep multiple times without warning due to the narcolepsy would give Ford more opportunities to find him, but only if Ford was asleep too. Since he wouldn’t know when Stan would be asleep, he’d pester Bill about it.

Bill always knew where Stan was from the get go and didn’t say anything because watching Ford run around like a headless chicken was funny for him. Bill knew Stan would be fine at the end of it so he just enjoyed the entertainment of Ford’s neuroticism instead.

With narcolepsy or sleepwalking, Ford would be asking Bill for help locating Stan because he’s worried about Stan’s survival with his condition. So Bill would help out a bit :) because he can’t have Stan die, or Ford dies as well.

Then once Stan is successfully rescued (kidnapped) Ford is even clingier and more overbearing about his condition. Sleepwalking not as much, though once Stan is safe in the hat house Ford might find it amusing and study the sleepwalking. But Ford would be very concerned if it was narcolepsy. Stan could just fall asleep at any point, and what if he was standing and hurt himself! :( Ford must make sure little brother doesn’t get hurt!

There’d be a lot of coddling until Ford figured out the narcolepsy. Not necessarily to cure it, though he’d consider that, but to monitor it and find ways to prevent Stan from getting hurt whenever he’s hit by it. Part of Ford likes the narcolepsy because it just shows how helpless Stan is without him, and how much Stan needs Ford to protect him :)

He also finds it endearing if he’s trying to do something with Stan and Stan just slumps over asleep on him. Stan himself is annoyed by his condition and would like to have it fixed if possible.