Post # 1: I’m a (private) Ticklee
This is my first post. I’d like to go by Mint because mint green is my favorite color. I’m a ticklee, but sometimes I also feel like a switch. It’s taken me a lot to make this side/throwaway blog and post since I’ve kept this....title I guess...to myself for a long time. There have been some askreddit posts or apps where I’ve admitted it but I’ve never admitted it to anyone I’m close to out loud, due to fear of backlash.
It’s not a sexual thing for me. I’ve always loved laughing and its a stress reliever for me, which helps due to my depression and anxiety. It’s why i enjoy watching funny movies/cartoons/tv shows/etc when I’m feeling down, or I hang out with friends who make me laugh a lot.
I think I knew I was a ticklee and liked tickling since I was about 6. I remembered I was at a family friend’s house in my neighborhood watching TV. I was lying on the floor, with my hands propping up my chin and my feet pointed in the air. The family friend’s mom came into the room to sit down on the couch right behind me, and as she passed she lightly tickled my feet. I found that I enjoyed it.
Growing up, I would notice I smiled a bit when cartoons would depict tickling scenes. i remember I was at another family friend’s apartment (I believe I was 10) watching Rugrats (the episode where Grandpa is wrestling another senior) and he gets tickled. That same day while watching the episode, I got in trouble for doing something at the apartment (I can’t remember) and was told I would be talked to after the show was over. I remember watching that scene and silently hoping part of my punishment after being talked to would be that I’d be tickled.
Now, I just read fanfiction with tickle scenes or find movie clips online with them. I would always get annoyed when it was obvious the person was laughing because they had to for a scene versus someone actually laughing. It just took the fun out of it, you know?
Sometimes when I’m with friends, and they do a stretch or lift an arm I’ll poke them in their side just to get a reaction out of them: one on hand its to see if they’d get mad, and on the other hand I want them to do back or threaten to do so. Hell, I even purposely do stretches for someone to do the same to me but no one has taken the bite yet - although, it proves we respect each other’s boundaries so I’m also happy about that.
There was one time where I almost let my “secret” slip while at work. I was playing a card game with two co-workers my age and we were just talking randomly and one of them asked if either of us were ticklish. Without hesitation I said “There is no right answer to that question. I don’t mind it”. Neither of them picked up what I said and we started talking about a tv show we wall liked.
I’m a 27 year old female (she/her), and I’ve dreamt of having a boyfriend where I can admit this to. Sometimes, I think about letting in one of my friends in on my secret. I’ve never felt the courage or the right time to do so. I think I just crave human touch, but not necessarily in a a sexual way. Sometimes, I get massages when I don’t one just to feel a connection. I like holding hands, I used to hate hugs but now I like them, and I would pay someone big money to give me a scalp massage for an hour.
Maybe one day I’ll let the cat our of the bag. In the mean time you all can get to read my posts about my thoughts and wishes. Or I can write stories of the few times where I was tickled, from what I can remember.