AN: FINALLY finished the last fic for tickletober! Sorry for the wait, I wanted to finish the other fics first & been pretty busy. This one was a blast to write, & I got to really dive into their relationship dynamic! Mark & Karen def picked Ted up at a bar lmaooo. Anyway, without further ado, here’s day 31!
No warnings, but things are insinuated. Nothing explicit, just some light bondage.
In Hatchetfield, the strange quickly becomes mundane. Having lived there all his life, Ted was not easily phased. He saw weird shit all the time and brushed it off with ease. Yet he was still taken aback when the notoriously prude-y, picture perfect couple that was Karen and Mark Chasity walked up to him at the bar of all places. He didn't even think they went to bars. He thought uptight christian nut jobs like that fainted at the smell of booze, but apparently he was wrong. He was wrong about a lot of things, lately.
"So, what's the score?" Mark asked as he slid up to the bar, pointing at one of the numerous flat screens above shelves of liquor. "21 to six," he answered with a smirk, taking a swig of his beer. Mark let out a low whistle.
"Geez, they're getting creamed." Ted scoffed in amusement, looking him up and down.
"Don't tell me you're a fuckin' Cowboys fan," he taunted. He chuckled shyly, ducking his head.
"What can I say? I like to root for the underdogs."
Was he hallucinating, or did Mark just fucking wink at him? Wasn't his wife right there? Wait, where did she go? He could've sworn she had been clinging to his arm just a second ago-
"A piña colada please," Karen spoke up on his left. He nearly jumped out of his skin because when the hell did she sit down? And shouldn't she have at least sat on his other side? Maybe, I don't know, next to her husband?
Apparently, she wasn't done with her order, feeling the need to specify, "And make it dirty." She was looking directly at him when she said that, twirling a lock of hair around her finger as she bit her lip.
Ted was extremely confused. If he didn't know any better, he'd say they were coming onto him. But that was impossible! There's no way in hell that they would be looking for a third, and especially not someone like him.
They were nothing but pure vanilla, as pristine as the driven snow. He was like a muddy puddle. This was just a coincidence. A really, really weird coincidence.
"I'll have a Jim Beam, on the rocks. Actually, make that two."
Okay, maybe they were trying to take him home.
"That's okay, I'm fine with a beer," he tried to decline, but Mark insisted.
"We all deserve a taste of the finer things in life."
Ted felt a blush creep to his cheeks, and not just from the alcohol. He couldn't remember the last time a sexual advancement had made him this flustered.
"Don't you agree?" Mark prompted when Ted didn't answer. He shook himself out of it and nodded vigorously.
"It's what separates us from the animals," he said, trying to sound smart.
"Well I couldn't agree more," Karen added, looking past Ted to her husband. And just like that, they found their third.
~~~
Things were admittedly a little awkward and stiff at first, but they quickly found their groove. They both were surprisingly kinky, not that Ted was complaining. It was just... so unexpected coming from them.
It felt nice being in on their dirty little secret. Or was he the secret in question?
Oh well. He supposed it didn't matter. Not when things were this good.
Ted flopped back on the bed, lying between the pair with a relaxed smile on his face. Karen snuggled closer to his right side, Mark lacing their fingers together on his left.
"That was really fun," Karen purred, walking her fingers up his chest.
"I'll say," Mark chimed in, offering a quick peck to Ted's cheek. He leaned across him so he could reach Karen, kissing her cheek.
"Yeah, you guys are amazing," he said, still breathless and dazed. "Same time again next week?" he asked, only half joking.
"Hey, there's no need to rush off again," Mark assured.
"Yeah, who are you? Cinderella?" she teased, the wine making her giggle at her own joke. Tipsy Karen was absolutely adorable. "Stay for a while," she insisted softly.
"That's okay, I don't wanna overstay my welcome," he shot back playfully. But what was meant as a lighthearted joke clearly struck a chord with each of them.
"After everything, you don't think you're welcome to just relax in our home? You're not just our lover, you're our guest. Stay; have a snack, watch some TV, whatever you wanna do." And didn't that sound nice...
But Ted Spankoffski never really had nice things. Or if he did, they didn't stick around for long.
"You sure? 'Cause if you're busy, I can get outta your hair," he offered, nervous butterflies fluttering about in the pit of his stomach. He's used to being the bootycall; to showing up on a whim for some casual sex, and getting kicked back out on the streets once they were done with him. But they actually wanted him to stay, which was why it was too good to be true.
"Oh I can be busy, if that's what you want," Mark growled, rolling over to straddle Ted's waist. He leaned down to plant a kiss to his lips, lingering with a gentle bite. Ted hummed, melting into the bed.
"You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Chasity," Ted smirked.
"I try," he shot him a wink, allowing his hand to roam Ted's chest.
"So why don't you ever want to stay?" Karen asked, with an exaggerated pout. The question caught him off guard, so he answered honestly.
"I want to stay, just... still not really used to the idea of you guys wanting that too," he admitted. Normally, he's never allow himself to be so vulnerable and bold with his emotions. But Mark and Karen were different. They didn't judge people, even people like him who should be judged, and they were nice. Like, genuinely nice. When he was with them, he felt seen and heard. He had spent nearly his whole life trying to run away from his emotions, but with them, he could finally relax.
"Oh Ted... Of course we want that," Karen spoke barely above a whisper, carding her fingers through his hair. Ted looked between them hopefully.
"Really?"
She offered a sweet, radiant smile. "Really."
"You're not just saying that to cheer me up?" he asked playfully.
"No, if we wanted to cheer you up, we'd do this!" Without warning, Mark began scribbling over his sides, drawing out a surprised giggly shriek.
"Hehehey wahahahait! D-dohon't!" he whined, flopping around uselessly on the bed.
"Why not? Is someone a little bit tiiiiiicklish?" Karen chimed in, using her long nails to flutter under his chin. He snorted and slammed his neck against his shoulder for protection.
"Noho!" he denied, a giddy, nervous grin plastered to his face.
"Uh oh honey, looks like we've got ourselves a liar," Mark taunted from above. His hands continued to knead the slight pudge around his middle, drawing out a few deeper laughs.
"Oh no, what should we do?" she asked, feigning innocence.
"I think..." Mark trailed off for dramatic effect, smirking when he heard Ted whine. "We should get the cuffs." The way Ted's eyes snapped open to look at them was priceless.
"What?" he screeched, excitement bubbling up inside him.
"That's the punishment for dirty rotten liars," Karen purred, leaning over the side of the bed to rummage through their box of toys. She popped back up, showing off a pair of fuzzy, leopard print cuffs.
"Ihihi wasn't-" he began to protest, but Mark shushed him by placing a finger to his smiling lips.
"Don't try to back out now," Mark said, cocking his head to the side. "Arms up, tough guy."
"Why don't you make mehehe!" his defiant protest melted away into giggles. He didn't bother holding back his laughter; he doubted he could even if he wanted to.
Even through his delirium, he knew they were doing this for him. To make him relax, to show him they really cared... And to tease the living hell out of him.
God, they knew him so well.
He didn't resist when Mark slowly raised his arms above his head, snapping the cuffs into place, looping the short chain around the headboard. Ted gave his arms a weak tug, just for show. He squirmed in anticipation, a giddy smile plastered on his face from the threat of what was to come.
"You're gonna stay right there until we decide you can go. Got that?" Karen asked, cocking her head expectantly. Her tone was halfway between stern and caring.
"Yehes ma'am!" he agreed, arching his back when she slowly scribbled along his bare waistline.
"And we won't stop until you admit to yourself that we want you around for more than just sex," Mark added pointedly. Ted couldn't help but smirk at the new caveat.
"Well in that case, we'd be here ahahall nihihight! Ihihit was just ahaha joke!"
"Our love is no laughing matter!" Karen chastised through her own giggles, the fucking hypocrite.
“Oh, I got a joke for ya! What’s a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?” Mark asked, barely able to finish his sentence before Ted answered.
“Ihihit’s R!”
“Ooo, close, but no.”
“What?” he screeched in shock before it took on a higher pitch as Mark dug into his ribs. Apparently, answering wrong had consequences.
“A pirate’s favorite letter is C! Get it? ‘Cause they sail the seas!”
“Thahat fuckin’ suhuhucks! No no wahahait, I’m sohohorry!” Ted apologized the moment he began vibrating his clawed hands against his ribcage.
“Language! You’re lucky I don’t wash your mouth out with soap instead,” Karen teased, kneading into his soft tummy. He snorted and bucked his hips, unable to dislodge the hands attacking his torso.
“Ihihi’m aha grown ass mahahan, I-I cahan say whatehehever I wahahant!”
“Really? Could’ve fooled me with that laugh of yours,” Mark taunted, enjoying the blush spreading across Ted’s cheeks.
“Hehehey!” he whined exaggeratedly.
“Oh Mark, be nice,” she mock scolded her husband, shooting him a contradictory wink. He smirked back.
“I am being nice. He’s not even screaming yet.”
“Mark!” Ted yelped at the playful threat.
“What? I’m just kidding!” he chuckled, crawling his fingers higher to scratch inside his exposed pits. He leaned in close to growl directly in Ted’s ear, ensuring he could be heard over his hysterics. “Or am I?”
Ted didn’t know what he did to deserve this. He didn’t know what he did to deserve them. They were kind, and cruel, and everything Ted could ever ask for, and he was grateful they chose him.
Summary: It's Ted's birthday and nobody seems to give a damn as per usual. All he wants is to go home and forget that today ever happened.
Seems like his friends have other plans.
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Hey folks! This is my very self-indulgent birthday fic bc it's my birthday and I can do whatever the hell I want!! It's my longest fic this month and I'm very proud of it, so enjoy <33
Also, to the person that put in the request for this day, I hope that you in particular enjoy the most!
-
Ted had never had the best experience with birthdays.
Growing up, nobody had really bothered to give half of a shit about him, and it hasn’t exactly changed much since then. Sure, Pete would text him and try to rope him into doing something if he was home, and at one point, there had been Jenny, but that hadn’t exactly worked out.
So when Ted walks into work and is greeted with the usual half-hearted enthusiasm—which is definitely an upgrade from the outright disdain from before The Incident—Ted just sighs and accepts that it’s gonna be another shitty birthday.
The Incident. Nobody’s really quite sure what happened. In fact, they all tried to not think about it as much as physically possible.
Ted’s just grateful that they all seemed to form some sort of trauma bond. Everyone was a bit more tolerant of his antics, sometimes they even smiled at his jokes and references instead of just shaking their heads and ignoring him.
Paul will actually invite him to Beanie’s every once in a while and listen while Ted brags about his genius little brother with something that almost looks like fondness on his face.
Bill doesn’t go see musicals anymore, but he’ll ask Ted if he wants to watch a new movie that’s come out without looking like he’d rather do anything else.
Charlotte got a divorce from Sam and asked Ted to have some space while she sorted out her life and, for once in his life, he respected her wishes and kept his distance. She looked more relaxed around the office and Ted felt like he’d found a real friend in her, like he could just talk to her with only a slight fear of judgment.
And he definitely hadn't set his sights on a beige-wearing, musical-hating coworker of his.
Definitely.
But all of this didn’t mean that they actually liked him. Ted wasn’t stupid enough to think that just because some horrible, incredibly traumatizing thing happened to all of them that they would suddenly start actually enjoying the company of their disgusting sleazeball coworker.
But still, Ted would take what he could get, and he’d actually started looking forward to coming to work, even if he threw up a little in his mouth at the thought.
He couldn’t help but be disappointed when he didn’t even get so much as a ‘Happy birthday’ though. Like, sure, they weren’t exactly best buds, but the bar really isn’t set that high!
As the day goes on, Ted notices that his frien—coworkers are avoiding him more often than was usual. It was almost like they were slipping back into their pre-Incident dynamic. Conversations would stop the second he stepped in the room, attempts at jokes fell flat and were only met with a roll of the eyes, and Ted found himself falling back into his old role in response.
He curled in on himself more before trying to project the false bravado that had once felt like a second skin to him. His any attention is good attention mindset was back in full swing, praying that something he did would get anyone to just talk to him!
Thankfully, that only lasted for a little while before he realized that he didn’t want to be that Ted anymore, and wasn’t that a revelation to examine literally never.
By the end of the day, Ted was exhausted. Mr. Davidson had asked him to stay a few minutes late to help him with some last-minute filing, which could not have been that important but hey, he had nothing better to be doing.
He’d spent a solid few hours picking through his memory to try and figure out if he’d done anything extra repulsive within the past few days and came up empty-handed.
Paul had even gone home early, also known as not thirty minutes late, which he never did and Ted was worried enough—and desperate enough— that he’d sent a u gud? To which he’d received a perfectly punctuated Yeah. Thanks, Ted.
Was it sad that those three words had made him feel better than anything else that day? Definitely.
Was Ted going to take anything he could get? Abso-fucking-lutely.
As he pulled into his driveway, all he could think about was ordering some shitty takeout, drinking some shitty beer, and pretending that he didn’t exist until this shitty day was over. Hopefully, everything would go back to normal tomorrow, and Ted could just chalk today up to his birthday curse.
The key slipped into the door and it turned after the required two seconds of trying to jimmy it open.
As his hand fumbled for the light he called out, “Hey Pete! I’m home! Fair warning to finish anything up before I—OH HOLY FUCK!”
The light flipped on, revealing a very brightly decorated living room and Paul, Bill, and Charlotte gleefully yelling, “SURPRISE!”
Silence rang for a moment.
Two.
“Ted? Are you… Crying?”
At Charlotte’s question Ted whipped around and very unsubtly scrubbed at his eyes as he said, “No! It’s hay fever season! I just have, uh,” He sniffled, damn it, “I just have really bad allergies.”
He turned back just in time to catch an armful of knitted sweater and curly hair.
“I’m sorry!” She said, somehow managing to be the one holding him despite the fact that he had a foot on her at least, “I told them that a surprise party was a bad idea! But they were so set on it and I’m so bad at keeping secrets! And oh my God we were so mean to you today!”
Charlotte pulled away to look him in the eye, “Can you forgive us? Please?”
Honestly, Ted had forgiven them the second he learned that they all hadn’t gone back to not-so-secretly hating them.
And he’d never really been able to say no to Charlotte.
“Alright. I guess I can forgive you.”
She let out an ear-piercing shriek before throwing herself back at him and Ted found himself sinking into the affection.
A warm body encompassed him from behind as Bill joined the hug and, fuck, Ted couldn’t burst into tears again and ruin the image he’d been carefully cultivating for the past however many years.
“Yeah, man. We were kinda shitty today. Sure it was all to keep the party hidden but that’s not an excuse. Are you alright?”
They are not making this easy on him.
“Yeah!” Oh, that was way too high-pitched. Let’s try that one again.
“Yeah.” Much better, “I definitely wasn’t worried that I’d done something wrong and you guys all hated me again and I’d fucked up the only actual friendships I’ve had since I was a kid or anything.”
…Yikes. Great save, Spankoffski.
Ted felt an arm wind its way around his waist, giving him an awkward side hug and holy shit. Paul, Mr. If-you-come-within-two-feet-of-me-I-will-dissolve-out-of-pure-social-discomfort, was hugging Ted.
“Look, Ted,” said Paul in the voice of someone not well-versed in the art of reassurance which, hey, neither is Ted, “Sure, you used to be a disgusting sleazeball that we all tried to avoid.”
“But,” He raised his voice to be heard over Charlotte and Bill’s groaning, “You’ve changed. And we can see that you’ve put actual effort into changing. We honest to God like you Ted, you’re our friend! Hell, would we have done all this for you if you weren’t?”
Paul gestured at the room and Ted looked at the balloons scattered around, at the cake on the table and the three wrapped presents sitting on the couch.
Huh.
“No,” Ted said slowly, still trying to wrap his head around the concept, “You definitely wouldn’t.”
“Exactly! Now, why don’t you say we— What was that?”
The squeeze Paul had given to his side that Ted was sure was supposed to be reassuring had the unfortunate side effect of making Ted nearly jump out of his own damn skin. Of course, it was just his luck that the Spankoffski charm had come with a large dose of the Spankoffski super-fucking-ticklish.
“Nothing!”
He could feel Charlotte grinning against his chest as Bill tightened his hold, effectively eliminating all possible escape routes.
“That didn’t sound like nothing,” Charlotte said, mischief colouring her voice, “You should try that again, Paul! See if we can give Ted some good old-fashioned birthday cheer!”
At that, Ted actually started to put up a fight, if pretty half-assed.
“No! I’m already cheerful so that’s not necessARY— Pahahahaul nononono shihihihit!”
Laughter tumbled from his lips, echoed by the people surrounding him as he tried and failed to escape.
Paul’s voice rose above the noise in utter disbelief, “Are you telling me that you, the guy who can’t get enough of bugging everyone else, are ticklish?! We could have been using this against you for years!”
“No I’m nohohohot!”
Ted was going to go crazy. Paul’s hand had moved up to his ribs and was now prodding at the bones and wiggling between them, making Ted’s laughter pitch up into childlike giggles much to the delight of his tormentors.
“Are you suuurrrreee?” Charlotte asked, giving a quick scribble to his spine and laughing ecstatically at the snort that elicited.
“Yeah, Ted!” Bill chimed in, “You seem pretty ticklish to me! But, if you’re not, then you won’t mind if we stay here a little longer. It is your birthday, after all, gotta make sure that you feel loved and appreciated!”
Paul leaned in close enough that Ted was grateful that the red in his cheeks could be explained away as he said, “All you have to do to make this stop is just admit that you’re ticklish. Is that really so hard?”
He lightened his touch enough to let Ted catch his breath a bit and give him a chance to tap out if he wanted to.
But Ted Spankoffski is a man of honour and dignity and he WILL NOT GIVE IN!
“Go fuhuhuck yourself, Paul!”
Any fire in his words was snuffed out by the lingering giggles, but Paul still gasped, playfully affronted in a way that Ted’s never seen, but knows can’t be good.
“Well,” Paul says simply, “You asked for it.”
And Ted was thrown back into laughter as Paul’s hands dug back into his ribs, aided by the occasional pokes and scribbles from Bill and Charlotte who seemed mostly content to hold him in place and let Paul do all the work.
“PAUL!” Paul had vibrated his hand into the soft space just below Ted’s lowest ribs and, yeah, this is how he was going to die, “Paulpaulpaul plehehehease! I’ll sahahay it! I cahahahan’t!”
“You can’t say it?” Oh that little shit, “I’m sure I can help you out there.”
“No! I’m ticklish! I’m tihihihihicklish! Now please let me gohohohoho!”
With that proclamation of defeat, they all unwound themselves from around Ted, and he did his best to not miss the warm pressure as they guided him to his ratty old couch, unstable legs nearly giving out on him before he collapsed on the worn cushions.
As he sat there catching his breath while Paul settled down next to him and Bill and Charlotte started fiddling with the candles on his cake, a thought suddenly occurred to him.
“How the fuck did you guys get into my apartment?”
They all laughed as Paul said, “Peter gave me his key. Told us to not fuck this up.” His voice slid into something a little more fond, “You’ve got a good kid on your hands, Ted.”
“Yeah,” Ted said, the grin on his face more than just the remnants of his ordeal, “I really do.”
Suddenly, Bill and Charlotte were bringing the cake towards him in all its fiery glory.
“Alright sleazeball, make a wish.”
Normally, Ted would hate being called that by someone other than himself, but Charlotte said it with such fondness that he really couldn’t bring himself to mind.
He thinks for a moment, then takes in a big breath and blows out all the candles in one fell swoop.
After the cheering died down, Bill asked, “What did you wish for?”
Ted just gave him his signature grin and said, “I can’t tell you, Billy. It wouldn’t come true!”
The rest of the day flew by, filled with laughter and games and only a few drinks. Looks like the birthday curse is broken, because this one had been pretty damn perfect.
I wish that all of my birthdays could be the same as this one, minus the first half, surrounded by my friends who just want to see me smile.
would welcome any more tickle headcanons you’ve got about ted from ted lasso 🤭😁😁😁
here we go-go, mu-cha-cho!
Lee!Ted
Because of Ted's people-pleasing mentality, we all know he wants everyone around him as happy as possible at all times.
That means he can totally ler it up, but because I am so deeply in love with Jason Sudeikis and Ted Lasso equally.... I can't not let my cute man be on the receiving end of some tickles.
I can see Ted being all 'awwwhawhaw! you got me!' after he's jogged around with someone chasing him, letting them get close enough to actually get him, obv.
Ted isn't quite sure how to handle getting tickled for real, honestly.
He's been jostled and huddled and hugged so much in his life, what with his duties as a coach and having a close team around him at all times. And it always makes him smile and chuckle.
But getting tickled definitely takes some getting used to for him. And like anything new for Ted (minus the start of therapy, I suppose), he welcomes the experience with open arms and a willingness to try it out.
He's really jumpy at the start of it, when someone would give him pokes/jabs/quick wiggling fingers somewhere sensitive. But it always illicits a giggle.
I imagine Ted being really open to letting Rebecca try this out on him, what with the amazing close friendship they've developed.
And she's so teasy and so delicate with him that it drives him NUTS.
Literally Ted can melt into a puddle of whines and wheezes and giggles with ler!Rebecca coming after him.
He's a big safe word guy, even if it's literally 30 seconds of casual, playful tickling. Similar to the 'Oklahoma' safe word used in the show, I'm sure this one would be another state or perhaps a town in England to even up the playing field. Or honestly something utterly silly like a player's name (Bumbercatch! Tartt!).
Rebecca cracks up when her and Ted have gotten to the point where he'll just start yelling random words through his laughter to get her to ease up. And she always does. He chooses a new word every time a tickle attack happens and just repeats it over and over again. Rebecca knows all of Ted's signs by now so she knows when not to overstep.
Ted slowly finds some comfort in getting tickled. It sends shivers up his spine when he gets the itch for it, or when he knows it's heading his way.
Ler!Ted
Ted definitely has an easier time falling into the ler role.
He loves when he sees tickling used as a form of bonding between the players. It doesn't fluster him unless the tickling's aimed his way (sorry sorry I'll stop with lee!ted 😉).
He's playful and loving as all hell with his son so of course he's thrown tickles in there when Henry was younger.
Getting out of the in-character canonness of the show, and moving to the general xoc or xreader side of tickling, I have a few thoughts...
If Ted finds out you're ticklish, it'll be like you'd given him his Christmas gift early.
But he'll take things slow, again, not having tickling being a recurring part of his own personal life.
His first step would be to get more cuddly with you, more than he's ever been before. Like a warm up to prepare for what's coming.
He'll pepper in ticklish kisses in sensitive spots like the neck, collarbones, the inside of the wrist/palm of hand, on/behind the ear.
And from there depending on the mood he finds himself in, he'd either deliver the most loving ticklish gestures and kisses OR he'd be evil-ler-dad-mode and attack with tickles.
You bet your ass Ted uses his bristly mustache to his advantage and your demise. That poor belly...
Like Rebecca does with him, Ted absolutely respects any boundaries when it comes to tickling.
But he'll be a teaser while it's happening, of course. Saying his typical funny, naive, simple Ted things. I am clearly not up to par with the Ted Lasso writing staff, so I cannot come up with much of anything good he'd be saying. But you get the idea.
"Ooohwee I didn't know this was such a good spot!"
"You've been holding out on me."
"Geez! With all that kicking you're doing, I could put you to good use at Richmond!"
"Who knew tickling someone could be so damn fun?"
AN: glad I remembered to post this before I get too busy! Ted’s just a silly lil prankster, but he actually has feelings. This one was really fun to write, & adds a bit of festive flare! Here’s day 5!
Ted had watched as Bill left his cubicle, walking past his desk and into the men's room. Oh this was almost too easy.
He stood and stretched his back with a loud pop before creeping as silently as he could to the bathroom door. He pressed his back against the wall, trying to vanish from sight. He heard a urinal flush followed by the sound of the sink running. His breath hitched when he heard the squeaky handle on the paper towel holder and knew Bill would be coming out any second.
He walked out, completely unsuspecting of any threat.
"BOO!" Ted yelled at the top of his lungs and lunged out in front of him, hands formed into claws as he waved them in the air. The scream that filled the air was absolutely priceless.
"Wha- Ted! What the hell's the matter with you?" Bill scolded, one hand resting over his racing heart.
"What? It's Halloween!"
"No, it's October fifth!" he corrected with a harsh glare.
"Oh come on Bill, where's your holiday spirit?" he sassed.
"You just scared it out of me."
"You're no fun," Ted rolled his eyes, turning to walk away. Bill scoffed.
"Excuse you, I'm loads of fun!"
"Nu uh. If you were, then you'd know the entire month is Halloween!" he reasoned. Bill rolled his eyes.
"Maybe for some people. But that doesn't mean go around scaring your innocent coworkers!" he justified. Ted snorted in amusement.
"Pft. Okay.”
"I'm serious!"
"Oh yeah, I believe ya," he taunted, turning on his heels. He barely took a step before Bill called after him.
"Okay that is it! Let's see how you like it!" he snapped and lunged after Ted. Bill was on him in an instant, but the last thing Ted expected to be doing was laughing. He thought for sure he'd be holding his sore jaw, or doubled over in pain from a well placed kick, anything but this, really. Honestly, he'd take one of those other options in a heartbeat.
At least pain didn't come with overwhelming embarrassment.
"Bihihill whahat the fuck?" he choked out, gritting his teeth to prevent any more sound from escaping.
"Well someone needs to teach you a lesson!" he reasoned, scribbling up and down his sides.
"Ohoho come ohon! I was just hahaving fun!" Ted whined, trying to tug Bill's hands away. He managed to grab ahold of his wrists, but the tickling persisted.
"Well now we're really having fun!" he chuckled at his own joke, which in turn made Ted groan in annoyance.
"I ahaham not!" he denied, twisting from side to side in an attempt to get away.
"I don't think you'd be laughing so much if you weren't having fun," he taunted, not even bothering to hide his amusement. He noticed the way Ted's blush immediately darkened, the way his legs were buckling beneath him as he slowly sank to the floor, and Bill realized he might actually be right.
"Wait, do you like this?" he asked, just to make sure. Ted's eyes flew open and he jerked away so violently that he stumbled and fell to his knees on the gray carpet. He scrambled to his feet, dusting himself off and looking around frantically to make sure no one heard.
He pointed an accusatory finger at him, but notably stayed out of arm's reach. "Hell no! What do I look like, a little kid?" he huffed, cheeks red, hair messy, and clothes wrinkled.
"No, but you sure are acting like one," Bill bit his lip to hide a growing smile. He knew he shouldn't be laughing; Ted was emotionally repressed on a good day, and it seemed like his toxic masculinity was starting to flare up again. But he couldn't help himself, Ted walked straight into that one.
Ted just stood there, mouth agape. "It's Hallo- fuckin'- ween, you're supposed to act childish!" he tried to justify. Bill arched a brow and smirked. "What?" he growled in frustration.
"It's okay. I actually think it's pretty fun too," he admitted. Ted gaped at him, blinking away the shock before answering.
"Cool, good for you."
"Ted-"
"Bill."
Bill huffed and placed his hands on his hips, fixing him with his best dad expression. Surprisingly, it worked better on Ted than it did Alice. Ted rolled his eyes before looking his way, showing he was listening.
"You don't have to act so defensive, really. I mean, do you really think I'd judge you for that?" he asked, brows furrowed in concern. Ted sighed.
"I know you wouldn't. But not everyone's like you, Bill. They'll hear I like it, and then they'll think I'm some fuckin' weirdo," he sounded frustrated and surprisingly genuine.
"Well... I said I like it, so does that make me "some fucking weirdo" too?" he asked, smiling when he earned a short lived chuckle.
"God no. You're a nice guy, you're naturally affectionate, you got a daughter. For you, it just makes sense," he explained, beginning to relax enough to lean against the wall as he spoke. Bill nodded and walked up beside to him, mirroring his stance.
"And what about you?" he asked curiously. Ted let out a long breath through his nose.
"For me?" he mused aloud, thinking for a moment before answering. "Well it's obviously a sex thing, cause that's all I ever fucking think about," he mocked dryly, before quickly adding, "It's not, but that's what they'll think." His voice was quieter, and he stared at a coffee stain on the carpet.
It all seemed to make sense now.
"I won't tell anyone."
Ted's lips twitched upwards in a fleeting smile. "Thanks, I appreciate it."
"Of course," he said, clapping a hand on his shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. Slowly, he inched his hand closer to his neck, squeezing faster until Ted was giggling and scrunching away from the touch.
"Hehehey! Whahat gives?"
"What? I wasn't done with my revenge."
"You're still stuck on that? That was like five minutes ago, get over ihihihit!"
"No thanks, this is more fun."
"Bihihill!"
"Yes? Can I help you?"
"Ohoho fuck you!"
"So, what'd he do this time?" a new voice sounded from down the hall, and Ted felt his embarrassment from earlier come back with a vengeance. Of all people, he really didn't want Paul to see him like this. He had way too many reasons to use this against him, if he decided to. Not that he ever would.
"Oh nihihihice one asshole, what mahakes you thihihink I deserve it?"
"He scared the shit out of me!" Bill answered, having to raise his voice over the sound of his frantic giggling.
"It's Halloween damnit! Paul, c'mohohon back mehe up here!" he tried to reason. He shrieked when a hand slipped inside his shirt, untucking it from the belt. Bill kneaded against the soft pudge of his tummy while his other hand squeezed the base of his neck, drawing out the most unflattering laugh. It was loud, high pitched and full of sorts, but no matter how much he thrashed about, he made no real effort to escape.
Paul watched on in amusement. He seemed to be contemplating something before he shoved his phone and wallet into his pockets. "Looks like you could use a hand there, Bill."
Ted's eyes widened in shock. No, this wasn't fair!
"Why thank you, I'd love one!" Bill answered the same time Ted yelled, "Are you fuckin' kidding me?"
He merely shrugged, "What? It's called trick-or-treat for a reason."
Asdjgkglv okay so im currently LOVING your npmd stuff !!! (and excited for more soon!) - do you have any hcs for Ted and Peter being playfully combative brothers? I love the two of them so so much. OR do u have any hcs for Jason and Kyle with ler max? Kyle specifically gives off lee energy idk. Anyways i appreciate you sm <3 -🍍anon
Lzgwsldlqbs thank you so much! I’m so happy you’re enjoying it because I’ve been loving all the Hatchetfield content on here & I’m glad there’s a demand for it!
& how about BOTH! Literally all the characters in npmd are so fun & lovable I couldn’t say no💗 Again, this got a little long, so gonna put it under the cut so I don’t clog the dash lol
Ted & Peter
Idk the exact age gap between them, but I’m pretty sure it’s close to 10 years or somewhere in that range. So Ted was old enough to take care of him when their parents needed him to, & he adored everything to do with his little brother
He lowkey was mad when his parents would take him away for a nap or something because that’s HIS playmate to do with as he pleases!
They were definitely closer when Ted was still pretty young. He would make up games for them to play & Peter would go along with whatever his big bro said
This included a lot of roughhousing & play fights that Ted always won. He would make sure not to be too rough with him tho
Tickle fights were very common between them & Ted was absolutely ruthless, not that Peter really minded all that much when he was little. Now that he’s older he makes more of a fuss, but he knows it’s just Ted’s way to show him he loves him
Ted used to tickle him mainly to cheer him up or play but now he just does it to be annoying & see his baby bro smile because he doesn’t smile as much as he used to
When they were little, Peter would fight back but rarely win unless Ted let him. Now that he’s older he can hold his own & has gotten a fair amount of revenge after his growth spurt hit
It was the best thing ever when Peter saw that cocky ass smirk leave Ted’s face as soon as he realized what was coming
Ted is soooo annoying I love him so much he does everything he can think of to piss Peter off. He messes up his hair, smacks his phone out of his hands, walk up behind him & do that thing where you kick someone’s knee from behind, & Peter finally has enough of it & snaps
Ted canNOT take what he dishes out & Peter thinks it’s hilarious
When they play fight it always turns to tickling & when they have a tickle fight it slowly escalates to violence kzhwksnf
I love them so much I don’t think it’s healthy
Jock Trio
So we see how Max ain’t the nicest to his friends & still picks on them, so it’s only natural to assume he wrecks their shit at any given opportunity
Again for him it feeds into his power trip, but that’s only half of it. He really does love his friends & enjoys hearing them laugh
He resorts to tickling to make them laugh because he doesn’t think he’s all that funny. He doesn’t really know a lot of jokes so he resorts to Humor By Force
You are so SO right about Kyle giving off lee energy, he is so hyper & smiley dude just loves to laugh & hang out with his buds
Max teams up with Jason against Kyle most often, but if Jason is feeling down or looking particularly vulnerable he’ll rope Kyle into his scheme
Whenever he does this, he’ll tap them on the shoulder & just give them this look & they know what he means
Jason is a more equal match for Max & puts up more of a fight, so that’s why he tends to tickle Kyle more
Jason & Kyle also have tickle fights all the time! Kyle knows Jason is more playful & less mean with his teases than Max. But if Max walks in on them he will join in & help whoever is currently winning
Kyle is more ticklish & he has a really loud boyish laugh & it’s so cute! He throws his head back & laughs freely & doesn’t even fight back. He will just lay there & take it & weakly curl in on himself
His worst spots are his belly, thighs, ribs & feet
Jason has a deeper laugh but is still very bubbly & endearing
His worst spots are his armpits, hips, knees & sides
AN: I’m such a sucker for charted, I have such a soft spot for them. Hope you enjoy!
Sam didn't make it home last night. As bad as it was, Charlotte preferred when he didn't. She knew he ran around behind her back, loving on girls half her age. Being trapped in a loveless marriage took its toll, but that's what coping mechanisms were for. Between the coffee and the cigarettes, Ted Spankoffski was her favorite way to cope.
Charlotte wasn't stupid, she knew their coworkers were on to their little affair. They were just too nice to say anything. Still, she wanted to avoid walking into work together.
"Ted. Ted darling, wake up. Don't wanna be late for work." She gently shook his shoulder, drawing out a tired groan from the man. "Come on sleepyhead, I'll make you breakfast," she said, trying to coax him out of bed. He sleepily swatted her away.
"Mmmnnngh, not hungry, 'm tired," he mumbled, turning over and snuggling deeper in the covers. She smiled fondly, slipping a hand beneath the covers to wrap around his bare chest.
"I know, but we're gonna be late," she said, idly tracing her nails over his skin. He shivered under her touch, breath hitching in his chest. Charlotte sported a devilish grin as she draped herself over his shoulder to look at him.
"I think I know just how to wake you up," she said, more to herself than to Ted. He grumbled, peaking one eye open before closing it once more. Without any warning, she dove her hands under his arms, wiggling her fingers with reckless abandon. His eyes flew wide open and surprised cackles filled the air, still slightly raspy from sleep.
"Bahahabe! Bahahabe dohohon't!" he pleaded, legs kicking underneath the sheets and tangling himself up.
"I'm sorry, but it's the only way to get your lazy ass out of bed!" she defended her actions while still turning him into a giggly mess. "Tickle tickle tickle tickle!" she cooed in his ear as she raked her nails up and down his ribcage. He shrieked rather loudly before attempting to curl up like a shrimp. He only wore boxers when he slept, so she had unlimited range of sensitive skin.
"Chahaharlotte ihit's too early toho tehehease!" he whined, snorting when she squeezed both hips. She chuckled evilly, scratching her nails over his stomach. His laugh continued to raise in pitch, bordering on hysteria. Ted had a funny, sweet laugh. It was one of Charlotte's favorite sounds.
"Oho, it's never too early for that," she spoke against his skin, nipping his earlobe. He groaned, tilting his neck to grant her easy access. She pulled away, crawling out of bed much to his dismay.
She slipped on her robe, beckoning him to follow her. "There's plenty more where that came from. In the kitchen." He groaned, ever so slowly moving to sit up. She smiled and walked over to the nightstand, grabbing her phone from the charger. She froze when she say the screen, showing today's date beneath the time.
A hand flew up to her mouth as she stared.
"Oh... Silly me, it's a Saturday. Guess we can sleep in after all," she said, climbing back in bed and under the covers. Ted gawked at her, mouth hanging open.
"You woke me up for nothing?" he yelled and she shushed him.
"Not for nothing, I thought it was still Friday," she said, a gentle smile on her face.
"That's really not good enough. And after what you put me through, I'll be damned if I ever let you leave," he growled, pouncing on her. She squealed, quickly melting into joyous laughter as bright as the morning sun. She could get used to mornings like these. They both could.
A/N: oh no oh no oh no! Somehow my brain told me I had completed all I needed to for this year's Tickletober. BUT ALAS! I have been duped! Completely forgot about this request! So sorry to @happyandticklish who wanted this! This is gonna be sooooo short and horrible since I don't have any ideas anymore! Forgive me!
Fandom: Bill & Ted's Excellent Advanture
Characters: Bill S. Preston Esq., Ted Logan
"Don't move, Ted!"
"I'm sorry, Bill!"
It wasn't Ted's fault, even Bill knew it. He'd thrown down a gauntlet challenge. No way could Ted sit still for long enough through Bill's games, trying to get him to move or laugh. It was a challenge, indeed. And Bill had been working hard. By this point in the game, Ted was proving to be a very worthy contestant. He'd merely smiled a few times, but remained seated on Bill's bed with his legs crossed and arms loosely resting on his knees. No moving, no laughing. But then Bill had come at him with a new spark in his eye, and a definitely new tactic of wiggling fingers.
And Bill'd made contact with Ted! No way was that a fair play! So Bill taunted Ted with the threat to move and laugh.
And Ted would just apologize, being too sweet to his friend not to make the game continue as it was planned. And he'd apologize through bubbling giggles rising in his chest. And his arms would curl into his torso before snapping back where they were once Bill reminded him.
Bill eventually gave up, tackling his friend altogether and pinching and skittering his hands all over Ted's sides, belly, ribs. Ted wouldn't call it a loss, per say. Bill was the one who caved, resorting to these desperate measures.
Bill sighed and he looked directly at his best friend. The last time he let Ted draw on him, it was kind of... you know... ticklish. And while he didn’t mind it too much, he wouldn’t allow himself to be subjected to that again. And Ted seemed to really want to give him another lower rib tattoo or belly tattoo. With the pens and markers, of course. But as Bill fought his friend, an idea dawned on him. And his whole face lit up with said idea.
“You changed your mind?” Ted inquired with a smile of his own when he witnessed Bill’s demeanor shift.
“Yeah, Ted, my friend. In the most stupendous way,” and now Bill was grinning.
And with very little haggle from Ted, they were on Bill’s bed together, Ted laying on the messy sheets and Bill hovering above him.
“I am so graciously honored that you’ve chosen to take up tattooing, dude,” Ted said to his friend, now wearing only a tank top, no other layers around.
Bill hummed, “Yeah, dude. What about one that wraps around your bicep and tricep?” he mimed it on his own arm by lifting it up.
“So rad!” there was Ted’s new word and Bill smiled, knowing it was approved.
Bill stretched out Ted’s arm so it was laying out flat on the bed. He took a pen and messily scribbled a quick outline along Ted’s bicep, and he stroked one clean pen stroke down towards his tricep. Bill wasn’t trying to disguise this as anything it wasn’t. At least not now.
“B-Bill!” Ted exclaimed and he stifled a giggle, his whole arm jerking.
“What, Ted? That tickle or something?” and Bill was mischievously gleaming, staring right at Ted.
