Dads keys
Fandom: DC
“I’m boooored” Dick announces way too loud for Jason and Tims liking. They were lounging in the living room on a Sunday afternoon. “Dude, inside voice” Tim says from the bean bag chair he’s occupying without looking up from his laptop, always working. “What he said” Jason mutters from behind a book that’s covering his face. “Come on guys can’t we do something?”. Dick moves from his side of the couch over to Jason’s side and knocks the book out of his hands. “Lay off Dickface” Jason kicks at him but Dick lays himself on top of his little brother and goes limp. “Gah get off” Jason tries to get off the couch but Dick is heavier than he looks. “I will get off if you promise to stop being boring”. Dick says with a smug face. Tim huffs a little.
“I’m onto you next Timmers”
“Ha, in your dreams Dick, Jason will have murdered you before you have the chance”.
Jason was tired, a quiet afternoon with his books was all he needed after a long stressful week as red hood. But he should have known better than to have stayed the weekend at the manor. When has this place ever been quiet?
“Okay fine we’ll do something just get off me” Dick hurried to get off of him. “Great!! Tim put the laptop away”. Tim was about to argue but Jason sent him a look that Tim couldn’t quite place but it was intimidating enough to make him obey. “Okay fine, what are we doing then?”. Jason sits himself up. “We could play switch?” Dick shakes his head. “Nah, I promised Damian that we wouldn’t play without him”. Tim huffs. “Why? He’s not gonna be back until Tuesday!”. “I know but I promised so let it go, other ideas?”. Jason rests his head on the armrest of the couch. “You’re the one that wanted to do something, so you figure it out”. They were all quiet for a minute while Dick was thinking.
“I’ve got it, where is Bruce?”
“Bruce? He’s working in the cave, made it very clear that he did not want to be disturbed” Tim says.
“Oh come on, he skipped movie night last night to work, it’s time for a break, come on”. Dick gets off the couch and starts walking towards the stairs. “Dick he’s not gonna play with you”. Dick stops and turns around. “No you’re right, he’s going to play with US, now come on”. Tim and Jason shares a look but follows their brother down the stairs.
Once they reach the bottom they stop to peak around the corner. “He’s by the computer” Dick whispers. “Duh” Jason answers. “What are we doing exactly?” Tim whispers nervously. “We could scare him?” Dick suggests, Jason rolls his eyes. “We have never been able to sneak up on him, not once, he probably already knows we’re here”
“He’s good, but he’s not that good, but fine scaring him won’t work, but we need to get him out of the cave, he looks terrible” Dick states.
“We could take the keys to the Batmobile? He told me yesterday that he was going down to the harbor to check something out”
“Damn replacement, not bad”. Dick turns to Tim. “Check out what?”
“I don’t know, wasn’t really paying attention”
“Of course you weren’t” Jason mutters which earns him a shove from Tim that has him tripping over. Bruce turns around in his chair facing Jason who’s sprawled out on the floor. “Hehe hi” Jason says while getting up. Dick and Tim walks into view as well. “I was wondering how long you were gonna stand there and whisper, what are you boys up to?” Bruce asks sounding tired but amused. “Eh nothing, we were just wondering what you were doing”. Bruce stands up to stretch his back. “Just finishing up last nights report, I’m gonna go out for a bit, I’ll be back around dinner”. Jason walks up to the computer.
“About dinner, what are we gonna eat since Alfred isn’t here?”
“I guess we have to order in” Bruce smiles. “Sounds good, but what is so important that you have to go out now? It’s not even dark and you look terrible”
“Thanks Dick, there is a shipment coming in tonight at the harbor and I want to do some surveillance.” Tim then speaks up. “Sounds unnecessary, you should get some rest”
“That’s rich coming from you” Jason laughs.
“I won’t be long, figure out what you want for dinner, I’ll call when I’m on my way back” Bruce says before walking off to change into the bat suit.
“Well that didn’t work” Jason states. “I say we order pizza”
“Jason dinner is not where our focus should be right now, Tim where are the keys?”. Tim looks unsure. “It might not be a good idea, he’ll get mad and then the rest of the night will be ruined”. Jason nods. “Agreed”.
“Guys come on, he needs to rest, I’ll take the blame, where are they?” Dick says with his big brother voice. Tim grumbles but walks over to the safe where Bruce keeps the keys. “They’re in here”. Jason follows him. “What’s the code?” Tim tells them not to look. “Come on, just open it, we won’t remember it anyway”. Tim gives him a look. “Sure you won’t” but puts the code in and opens the safe. Jason hurries and grabs the keys. “How come you know the code to the safe and we don’t?”
“Maybe because I’ve never stolen the Batmobile?” Dick and Jason shares a look. “Yeah that makes sense”
“Okay let’s go back upstairs” Tim says and starts walking towards the stairs. Bruce chooses that moment to walk back into the room in full Batman gear. The boys stops by the bottom of the stairs to see their father’s reaction to the keys being gone. “Alright, I’ll see you boys soon, be good”. Bruce puts the code in the safe.
“Yup, bye dad” Jason says cheekily. They turn to leave.
“BOYS”
Bruce’s voice booms through the cave. They turn their heads. “Where are my keys?”. Dick gives him his most innocent smile. “No idea, see you dad” and runs up the stairs leaving Jason and Tim. “Seriously?” Bruce puts his hands on his hips. “Yeah it seems so, good luck finding the keys” Jason shouts as he makes his way up the stairs with Tim hot on his heels. Bruce sighs before following his sons.
Bruce enters the living room and takes his cowl off leaving it on the tv table. “Are you guys seriously hiding from me right now?” Bruce yells. And yes they were in fact hiding. Jason was standing behind the curtains, which he now regrets because no one but a five year old would think that’s a good hiding place.
Dick and Tim were both crouched behind the two armchairs, another bad hiding spot but there was no time to find a better one.
“Boys I really need to leave, so please come out and give me the keys”.
Silence.
“Alright then” Bruce turns to leave when he hears the tiniest sound coming from behind the armchairs. He quickly makes his way over and manages to grab onto Tim while dick managed to escape. “Woah” Tim gets dragged into the middle of the room.
“Tim, you’re the most sensible child that I have, please give me back my keys”
“Eheh I don’t have them”
Bruce looks unamused. “Tim”. Tim starts squirming in his grasp. “I swear I don’t have them” Tim laughs nervously. Bruce turns Tim around still holding him in a secure grip. “Alright boys, funs over, give me the keys or else”.
Jason ducks out from behind the curtain with a smug smile on his face. “Or what old man? Gonna ground us?”. “Which one of you has the keys?”. During his escape Dick managed to grab the cowl off the table and is now standing safely behind the couch wearing it. “Don’t know Bats, guess you have to find out”.
Bruce starts searching Tim’s pockets ignoring the boys protests. He shoves his hand inside the front pocket on the boys hoodie, he finds no keys but he strikes gold. Tim buckles and lets a small giggle slip at the contact which of course doesn’t go unnoticed by the bat. “Last chance Tim, who has the keys?”. Jason and Dick both shake their heads at their younger brother and before Tim has the chance to answer Bruce digs his fingers into the boys stomach. “Bruhuhuce nohohoho” Tim laughs as ticklish shocks make their way through his body.
“Bruce yes, I won’t stop before you tell me where the keys are”
“That’s cheating” Jason shouts over Tim’s laughter.
“Oh is it now? What do you say Tim, feel like talking yet?” Tim is hunched forward. “I dohohohnt knohohohow BRUCE” Tim all but screams when Bruce’s hands travels up to his ribs.
“Be strong Timmy, we’ve trained for this!”. “HEHEHEHEHELP MEEHEHEHEHEHEHE”.
“Jason do something”. Jason gives Dick a betrayed look. “What am I supposed to do?!!”
“Tell me and this will be over” Bruce says teasingly. He moves his hands back down to Tim’s stomach not wanting to push the kid too far.
“Okahahahay stohohohop jahahahson has the kehehehehys” Tim blurts out and Bruce lets him go immediately. Tim falls to the floor still giggling and trying to catch his breath.
“Really Tim?” Jason shouts. “Scared Jaylad?” Bruce asks as he makes his way towards the boy. “Of you? Never”. Jason prepares himself to fight, he’s not going down like the replacement. Bruce tries grabbing him but Jason dodges him. This continues for a while, both men trying to bring the other to the ground. Jason finally gets a good swing at Bruce sending the man backwards making Jason let down his guard for a second. Huge mistake. Bruce charges at him and before Jason knows it he is stuck in a headlock. “Keys please” Bruce says smugly. “In your dreams old man”. Jason used all his strength to get out of the grip and suddenly Bruce just let go making Jason fall to the ground. A second later his father was on top of him searching the many pockets of his cargo pants. Jason slapped at his hands but Bruce was persistent.
“Are you gonna give me the keys?” Bruce asked looking Jason in the eyes. “Eh no?”. “That’s what I thought”. Bruce latches onto Jason’s hips and it all goes downhill from there. “NOHOHOHO WAHAHAHAHAHAHIT”.
“Bruce that’s not fair, you can’t go straight for his worst spot!” Dick whines from the sidelines. “Says who? I am running late”. Jason is in ticklish hell with no strength left to fight back. “OKAAHAHHAAY THEHEHEHYRE IHIHIHN THHEHEHE POCKET OHOHOHN THEHEHE RIHIHIHIGHT”.
Bruce let’s go of the boys hips to retrieve the keys. There are two pockets though, one on his thigh and one above the knee. Bruce could tell which one the keys were in but he wasn’t going to get any more work done today at this point so he played along. “Which pocket? This one?” Bruce starts squeezing his thigh.
“Nohohoho thehehe other onehehehe dahahhad please”. Bruce chuckles and reaches into the pocket grabbing the keys. He ruffles Jason’s hair before standing up, offering Jason a hand but the boy needs a minute to catch his breath. Dick flops down on the couch.
“God jay you lasted for like 15 seconds”
“Ihihit felt lihihike hours” the boy on the floor responds, still giggling.
“Aren’t you gonna leave?” Dick asks looking down.
“Nah, it’s too late now anyway (it wasn’t really) so I guess I’ll just go back down and change. Did you boys ever decide on dinner?” With big smiles on their faces they answer in unison “Pizza”. “Pizza it is, I’ll be right back up”. “Okay hold on, this isn’t fair” Bruce turns to Tim confused. “You tortured me and Jason while dick just stood there, you didn’t even try to help” Tim stared staggers at dick. “What was I supposed to do?”. “You know what Tim is right, that wasn’t fair, all kids in this house should be treated equally” Bruce says before jumping on Dick on the couch earning smiles and cheers from his younger sons. “Okay this is not necessary I dohohohohnt DAHAHAHAHD NOHOHOT THERERERE”.
