#npmd fic

[let-me-puke-in-your-mouth-em]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

a totally normal paul and richie fic. sniles.

[sonayesul]

Fic Time

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64181275 (idk why the link is being stupid gang)

Spankoffski brother bonding fic gang because i'm mentally ill about these doomed by the narrative brothers and if i think too long about them in literally any universe i'll cry

Summary:

Pete, the damn fucking giant he was, was currently slouched down, shorter than Ted for once in his life. He had a hand over his stomach and was ducking his head, his long hair curtaining around his face but even despite that, Ted could still see the nasty bruise covering his eye.

“Petey-” Ted began and Pete just pushed past him into the apartment.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Pete mumbled under his breath and Ted sighed heavily.

Or after Max finds Pete at Pasqualli's, Pete finds sanctuary at Ted's apartment.

3k words, light angst, hurt/comfort, set in the Nerdy Prudes Must Die reality/timeline

[amazingmsme]

That Was Funny. Laugh

AN: I haven’t forgotten about the rest of tickletober, don’t you worry! Here’s day 24 with Max & the nerds! I feel like he would probably try too hard to fit in with them, & it doesn’t exactly always work. But that’s ok, he’ll make it work! Think we all could use a bit of fluff right now…

Things were starting to look up. They were hesitant to say that the prank worked, but at least Max had stopped bullying them, and that was their main goal, so Pete marked it as a success.

The rest of the jocks started to change their tune, following Max's lead, and it had been weeks since he had a swirly or was shoved inside a locker. Pete and Steph were going steady, and the school play was really starting to come together. The Jagerman himself even invited them to the big game to watch him "stomp Clivesdale into the fucking mud." And what do you know, he did!

So things were honestly pretty great. There was just one little problem...

"Sup nerds!"

They all groaned in unison as he announced his presence from behind. He caught up rather quickly, slinging his arms around Peter and Richie's shoulders, the latter flinching at the contact.

"Oh, h-hey Max," he stuttered, trying to play it cool. Max didn't seem to notice, or he just didn't care. "What's up?"

"Oh nothin' much, practice got canceled 'cause of the rain so I gotta fuckin' walk home. Can you believe it?" he complained. Steph couldn't hide her smirk as she answered.

"Yeah I can, actually."

"Shut it, Lauter," he snapped, but it lacked the usual venom his words carried. "You never have to walk anywhere."

"Actually," she corrected, "I'm walking right now." Peter, Ruth, and Richie all snapped their heads to look at her, silently begging her not to say another word.

"Oh yeah? Where the hell are you nerds going? The fuckin' library?" he wheezed out a laugh, slapping a hand on his knee in amusement, although his laughter trailed off when he realized no one was laughing with him.

Steph merely arched a brow and crossed her arms. "No smartass, we're going to Pizza Pete's to win that ugly little doll Ruth's been wanting." Pleading stares turned to annoyed glances as she spilt the beans. The very act of telling Max where they were going was practically an invitation in his eyes.

"Really? Didn't know Spankoffski had his own pizza shop," he quipped, a smirk stretching across his face. That one was good, he had to admit.

And they still didn't fuckin' laugh! Are they brain dead or something?

"Ha ha, like I never heard that one before," Peter rolled his eyes, an annoyed smile tugging at his lips. At least Max was trying.

"Well if you need tickets to win the ugly fucker, I'm great at skee ball," he offered.

"Don't call him that! He's so fuzzy and cute, you guys are just mean!" Ruth whined, clutching her chest dramatically.

"Ruth, radioactive Cthulhu is not cute, he's just creepy," Richie deadpanned. Ruth stuck her tongue out as he returned the gesture.

"Come on you two, those tickets aren't gonna win themselves," Peter prompted, and they began walking down the sidewalk, dumb jock in tow. They all resigned to their fate of backhanded compliments and obscure sports references for the next two hours. Still, it was better than the way things used to be.

Not ideal, but surprisingly tolerable.

At least when he wasn't trying so damn hard. He would go out of his way to be what he considered kind, but was really the bare minimum at best. And Peter wasn’t exactly sure why he thought he needed to be funny for them to like him. Honestly, it was getting old.

Peter, Richie and Max stood off to the side as Ruth and Steph fed their tickets into the ticket counter. A waiter passed by carrying a pizza, and Max nudged them to get their attention, pointing at the restaurant’s signature dish.

“You see that?”

Peter and Richie exchanged confused looks and shrugged. “I guess…”

Max sported a proud, shit-eating grin. “I’d tell you a joke about pizza, but it’d probably be too cheesy,” he punctuated the joke with a deep laugh of his own as they just stared at him.

“I’m lactose intolerant, what the fuck are you talking about?” Richie deadpanned, clearly not getting the joke. Max rolled his eyes dramatically.

“It’s called a joke, dumbass! And it was funny, so you better laugh!” He took a step closer when Richie didn’t immediately comply. “Laugh,” he demanded, deciding to ditch the jokes all together and go for a more “hands on” approach.

“Mahahax! Whahat thehehe hehell?” he asked, thrashing from side to side as he managed to escape Max’s evil clutches.

“Ha! I knew you’d be ticklish! What about you Spankoffski?” he questioned, catching him off guard.

“Wha- me? Max, wahahait!” he cried out as Max targeted him as well. He scribbled up and down Richie’s side while his other hand prodded at Peter’s ribs. Richie flailed around uselessly, shrill giggles filling the air. Peter slapped at his hand, but Max wasn’t deterred in the slightest.

“How come you nerds never told me how ticklish you were? Think of all the fun we could’ve had!” he cheered, shoving his hands underneath both of their arms, eliciting two different giggly shrieks.

“Thahahat’s exahactly why wehe nehehever tohohold you!” Peter whined.

“We gotta make up for lost time then, don’t we? Don’t worry, I can hustle.” They started protesting, shaking their heads and tripping over their words as he wiggled his fingers closer and closer.

He was just about to really strike when Steph came to their rescue.

“Hey, I think we have enough tickets,” she called for their attention, a fond smirk firmly in place.

Max pulled them closer, ruffling their hair as he did so. “Don’t worry, we’ll pick that up again later.”

Y’know… call him crazy, but Peter wasn’t exactly dreading it.

[sky-neverending]

giggles

“Fuck off,” he muttered, shoving his hands in his pockets and turning away. “Fuck you for trying to be a good person after everything I’ve done to you.”

michie *holds gently*

[bow-of-aros]

Day Twenty-Three: Sweet

Summary:

Ruth and Richie are coming over to help Peter get ready for his Valentine's Day date with Steph. He just wants to make sure that they know he appreciates them, and they return the favour.

IT'S HERE!!!! Sorry folks my brain was not working yesterday, I spent the whole day doing an English assignment and then crashed super hard. But I'm back today and here's day 23 (hopefully I'll get day 24 up later tonight) with my favourite sillies!! Hope that y'all enjoy <33

-

It was Valentine’s Day.

Normally, Peter Spankoffski would be hanging out with Ruth and Richie on some park bench, watching all the couples walk by and making up elaborate stories about how they would one day break up.

But this was his first Valentine’s Day with an honest to God girlfriend, and Ruth and Richie had taken great pains to say that they would kill him if he fucked this up.

Brutally.

And possibly with an ax, that part had been unclear.

Anyway, he was taking Steph out to Pasqualli’s tonight—“Pasqualli’s?!” Ted had exclaimed gleefully, “My little brother has got some game! You really are my kid!”—and he wanted it to be perfect.

Yeah, he’d tried to tell Ted that he wasn’t his kid, but his older brother had just wiped away a fake tear and said how proud he was, which had left Peter feeling too warm to argue.

In preparation for his date, and to soothe any lingering nerves, he’d invited Ruth and Richie over to help him get ready.

Or, at least, that’s what he’d told them.

They hadn’t said anything, but Peter knew that they were upset that they weren’t going to spend the day together like they had been for years. Sure, the day was typically meant for romance, but to those three it was a “Re-fortifying of their eternal bond,” as Richie had once called it.

Peter wanted to make sure that they still felt appreciated, and that Richie and Ruth knew that he still loved them even though he has a girlfriend.

And yeah, he said that he loved them. No matter what Ted might think, toxic masculinity is not cool and Peter can actually express his emotions without getting all insecure about it.

Take that society!

Ding-dong!

The clock read 4:58 and Peter had asked them to be there at five. He wasn’t sure that these two had even been on time for anything in their lives. The fact that they were here early for him was actually really touching.

He heard the door open as Ted said something snarky about being a good host before Ruth and Richie burst into his room.

Ruth looked like she was buzzing with excitement, eyes bright as she hops in place.

Richie looked like he was sick of Ruth’s bullshit. In a fond way, of course.

“Hi Peter! Are you so excited to—Hey what’s that?”

Ruth’s question was cut off by Peter handing her a car with a heart-shaped lollipop on it. It had a big picture of a mushroom on the front and read You take up so mushroom in my heart! When she opened it up, Peter had written a little note that said Even though I’m dating Steph. You and Richie are still my partners in crime! Happy Valentine’s Day xoxo.

She froze, blinking rabidly as she tried to make sense of what she was seeing, so Peter decided to take advantage of that and hand Richie his card.

His had a giant poké ball on the front and said If you were a Pokémon, I’d choose you! And inside the card was his own lollipop and a Happy Valentine’s Day to my first ever valentine! You, me, and Ruth are forever!!

The shock on both of their faces were too good to not take a picture of, so that’s exactly what Peter did.

Ruth and Richie were both jolted out of their stupor at the sound of the click, and the next thing Peter knew he was being tackled back onto his bed under the force of his two best friends.

“Awwwww Peter!” Ruth blubbered into his chest, “This is so sweet!!”

Even Richie sounded like he was choking back tears, “Yeah man, fuck you for making me feel things.”

They stayed like that for a little, Ruth’s quiet sniffling being the only thing to break the silence before she suddenly shot up and exclaimed, “We didn’t get you anything! Oh my God we are horrible friends!”

Peter was quick to put a stop to what could be a very rapid spiral, “No! You’re here to help me get ready for my date with Steph, I just wanted to repay you for that. And to remind you that just because I’m dating the mayor’s daughter now doesn’t mean I’m ditching you guys.”

Ruth and Richie stared at him and, before Peter could blink, the breath was knocked out of him once again by Ruth throwing herself on top of him.

“Still! I wish we could give you something!”

Peter just patted Ruth’s curls sympathetically, but anything he might’ve said was interrupted by Richie.

“You know, we still could give him something.”

There was an odd tone to his voice that Peter couldn’t decipher, but when Ruth looked up her mouth stretched into a mischievous grin as she clearly caught his meaning.

“You’re so right! And this will be extra helpful because he’s probably so nervous about his date so we can help him loosen up before he leaves. Richie you’re a genius!”

Peter was looking between the two, unused to being the odd one out in their conversations.

“Uh, guys? What are you—HEY! Ruhuhuhuth nononono!”

She hadn’t even given him the chance to finish his sentence before she started scribbling her nails over his stomach, occasionally kneading into softer spots to get a yelp out of him.

Richie sat up and grinned down at him, “Here’s your Valentine’s Day gift from us!” He started dancing his fingers over Peter’s neck, eliciting squeakier giggles as he recited his own little note, “We still love you even though you’re ditching us for Stephanie Lauter. It definitely helps that your laugh is so adorable!”

Peter flushed red at the comment, torn between covering his face or trying to push Ruth away from where she was moving up to his ribs. He settled on attempting both at once, which really did not help him in either direction.

“Nohohoho it’s nohohohot!” A hint of a whine leaked into his voice, “FUCK! Ruth not thehehehere!”

Her fingers had found purchase in the grooves on his upper ribs and were wriggling around in a way that was driving Peter crazy.

“Uh, yeah, it is! Your laugh is all squeaky and you snort. How do you get cuter than that?!” Ruth offered her rebuttal with one of her hands shooting down to squeeze at his knees, causing him to kick out with the aforementioned snort.

“She’s right, Pete.” Richie scratched at the spot behind his ears, drawing out a high-pitched squeal as Peter desperately scrunched up his shoulders in an attempt to protect himself, “The vote’s two-to-one, so the motion passes! Your laugh is fucking adorable.”

Stuck under his friends, Peter felt like he was floating. A dizzy sort of mirth was starting to set in as Ruth scribbled her nails over his kneecaps and Richie wormed a hand under his arm. It was nice, he was here with two of the people he trusted most in the world, laughing under the force of their affection as his nervousness over the date slipped away.

After a little bit longer, they finished their attack with a few pokes and let Peter curl up in a little ball of giggles. Ruth draped herself over him like a human weighted blanket while Richie ran his fingers through his hair to soothe him.

“I lohove you guys.”

They both smirked at each other, proud of their handywork as Peter relaxed a bit more into them.

“We love you too, Pete!”

“Yeah, what she said, fucking obviously.”

He squeezed them a bit tighter for a moment before sitting up with a groan, rubbing away the faint soreness in his torso with a playful glare at his friends.

“Alright, now you guys have to help me decide what to wear, because I’m not totally sure what I’m going for.”

Ruth hopped right up and darted to his closet, immediately starting to pick through clothes she deemed appropriate for a Valentine’s date at Pasqualli’s. Every so often she would take a shirt off its hanger and toss it in the vague direction of Peter’s head, forcing him to exercise his subpar catching skills.

Meanwhile, Richie just slung an arm around his shoulders and said, “Don’t even worry, we’re gonna make you the best looking nerd in Hatchetfield. Steph won’t know what hit her!”

And here, with his best friends, getting ready for a date with the coolest girl he knows, Peter officially labels this the best Valentine’s Day he’s ever had.

[babyshoesnerdshit]

guys i need fic recommendations where grace chastity gets to be unhinged and insane (preferably holyghost but i'm not picky)

pls n thx luv u guyz :3

[lucy-frostblade]

the epic highs and lows of eating lunch with the nerdy prudes

read on ao3 | 1,123 words | rated g

It wasn't on purpose, Steph eating with Peter and his friends permanently. She just... liked their company more than Stacy and Brenda. She liked Stacy and Brenda, but it always felt like she was just tagging along as they talked about cheerleading and how Brenda wanted to date Kyle but Max was an asshole, and yeah Max was an asshole, but sometimes Brenda we can have conversations that aren't about how you want a secret love story and maybe pass the Bechdel test goddamnit-

Peter was the one to invite her the first time. It was the first day back since the Waylon incident. She hadn't seen any of them since her dad was keeping her under lock and key, but that Monday, Peter found her and asked her if she wanted to eat lunch with them. Steph said yes. She didn't really know why, really. She thought it would be a one time thing, really she thought Peter and his friends would get bored of her and then she would be back with Stacy and Brenda the next day.

That did not happen.

read more

[ratsarecute4]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Brooke flicked the lighter on. For a moment that tiny flame was the brightest light, pulling them in. Its warm glow painted Brooke’s face golden. It shimmered, reflecting in her eyes.

-----------

Sometimes to cope with the death of your twin brother you just have to set a fire in the school bathrooms with your best friend and boyfriend. It's cheaper than therapy