#tilda thinks

[theatrical-isnt-it]

I have a decent job that i love working with kids but I want to do more with theatre. There are a few kids theatres I could work at around here but I doubt they would pay as much. So if I want to follow that I would have to get a job that I don't care about as much (waitress, barista, retail etc.) In addition to working at a kids theatre. Assuming they would want me. Something to think and pray about I guess.

[calling-at-703]

No joke, I think the average of me finding out my friends are engaged is at least once a week at this point.

This is the life of a modern age 20-something year old 😐

[calling-at-703]

My mental illness is saying I need to just isolate. Take a break from hard work. Don't bother with my responsibilities. Just lay on my bed or couch and watch TV . Forget about contacting the people who love me. Forget about the world outside of my small home.

My response? No. This is when I need to make the extra effort. Giving in is so much easier. But I have to fight it otherwise I'll lose myself. Sometimes self care days are needed but self care doesn't mean isolate from everyone and quitting responsibilities. You can take care of those things AND self care.

Some days just fucking suck and that's life. Im tired as hell emotionally but everyone is. Especially now. And it doesn't matter. We still fight.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk lol

[calling-at-703]

I wish i was more comfortable wearing makeup and taking more selfies again. I dont know what happened but I recently just stopped. Not sure if its an unconscious thing and im not comfortable with myself? I don't feel unattractive I just dont want to put any effort into it. But I dont want to just feel not unattractive I want to feel more attractive and proud of myself when I put effort into myself. I want to go out and take the time to get new clothes and feel sexy again. What happened?

[personal-isnt-it]

Sometimes it seems in the political world that extremists don't consider that maybe...people from the other end of the spectrum don't want the worst for humanity.

For example, I'm (soon to be) a gun slinging republican, love me some America & God bless the USA.

I have a lot of strong liberal friends because I've been highly involved in the artist community in my city. I understand they aren't actively trying to destroy our economy, they're wanting to help people. I don't agree with their methods and believe that it really could destroy our economy but i do see where their ideologies come from.

I wish more liberals would take the time to consider that maybe republicans...dont hate everyone and want to kill everyone they disagree with. We just have different methods of how to help the economy, and different priorities.

Idk these are just my night time ramblings and thoughts. I love people, and it breaks my heart seeing so much division. Feel free to send your thoughts too. Tbh idk if I'll respond cause I really don't do a lot of political discussion but I love to learn for sure. However I try to see the best in everyone and understand different view points.

[personal-isnt-it]

Why does meat genuinely gross me out but I have 0 problems eat [most] meat? I don't understand myself sometimes lol

[personal-isnt-it]

I don't think I like being friends with coworkers. It's too stressful and when they all act like teens there's too much drama. Luckily I'm transferring so when that happens I'll make business my main priority. I'll still see them from time to time but I think my store is just too...high school.

[personal-isnt-it]

Getting back into working out again is pretty difficult. I have like 0 core strength but I've gotta keep working on it. It's discouraging when i want to work on it but I get like mayyyybe one set of any kind of core move in and I can't do any more.

I mean I have to start somewhere. I try to push myself as much as I can but wow it's so much work