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Ok so. This is not the Cal Fic i intended to post first,but its done so im just gonna lol so here it is FINALLY 😭✌️✨️

Coffee and Tears

Cal Lightman & (g!n) Reader. (can be read platonic or romantic)

⚠️WARNINGS:

Mentions of $uic!de/idealization/nearly attempted! Angst! Hurt/comfort! Potentially triggering depictions of depression,idealization and dark thoughts! If this is triggering pls DO NOT READ! no character death,happyish ending!

Summary:

Reader is majorly depressed, and feels alone,invisible. Luckily they happen tp catch the eyes of the man who sees everything, especially the things he once missed.

"Can I get you anything else?"

You jumped,nearly spilling the untouched mug of coffee on the table,and the waitress laughs. "Oh sorry,didn't mean to scare you dear!" You clear your throat,looking away again.

"Its fine. Im good,thanks."

You say,with as much volume as you can myster,though it still comes out a mumble.

The waitress nods,makes her way away,and you look back out the window,the sounds of the small diner fading away again as you stare out at the street outside. The pavement is still wet from the rain earlier that day,and the evening is grey with lingering clouds blotting out the sun,casting everything in a dull light. You watch a drop if water trail down the window,aimless and small. Insignificant. Alone. Until it reaches the window pane and disappears. You close your eyes for a moment, though it does nothing to block the thoughts raging in your mind, so loud that its simply just a static now like white noise but oppressive rather then soothing. Across the diner,someone laughs,and the coffee maker turns on behind the counter,the bell at the door jingles, people talk,but you sit,still and silent. You're heart and soul feel like they're shredding,and you find it to be a cruel irony that here,surrounded by people, you feel more alone then you had in your apartment. Your forehead rests on the cold glass of the window,and you watch another drop of water fall and disappear.

Cal couldn't stand people.

At least,he couldn't stand stupid people. Or liers. Or fakes. Or loud people. Basically everyone. Certain individuals are tolerable and a few are good,but the majority jyst annoy him. Not necessarily they're fault,really, maybe if he was less of a genius he'd like more people. But that was wishful thinking he'd given up long ago.

He shakes some water out of his hair as he steps into the corner diner,the one he only comes to because the tea is actually half decent and its within walking distance of the Lightman building. His eyes flick through the few people, assessing without him even trying,as he makes his way to the counter. The man in the corner booth with his wife- no,girlfriend, no rings,on his phone and clearly messaging someone he shouldn't based on his gaurded posture. The waitress, putting on a fake smile and cheery tone even though underneath is a tense jaw and tight eyes,carrying a underlying anger probably directed at her job; no,her coworker,based on the flicker of contempt he sees on her face when she looks at the employee behind the cash register. Cal shakes his head,taking a seat on the far end of the counter,leaning back against the wall,legs sprawled wide as the waitress goes behind the counter and up to him. "The usual?" She asks,and he nods,giving a quick smile before she moves away to make the tea. He sighs,rubbing his hand over his face,leaning back farther. As much as he'd rather not,his eyes continue to flicker over the patrons in the diner. Most are boring, the usual mundane things,but Cals attention is grabbed by an individual that had escaped his initial observations. A rather dejected looking form sat in a booth near the door,alone at their table. The coffee in front of them looks untouched,and no longer warm based on the lack of steam,and their head is rested against the window,and he stills when he sees the emotion that flashes across their features. To anyone else, they'd look like a tired,sad person,but Cal saw the flicker of raw,wrenching pain that flickersld through the blank expression on their face,and his hand clenched slightly. He'd seen that look. A million times. The expression that he'd watched appear on his mothers face in the video tape of her analysis. Right before her release. Right before she'd committed. The look he'd missed. The look that now,he saw in his sleep. He startles slightly as the waitress sets down his tea in front of him,drawn out of his thoughts as he thanks her absently,looking back to the object of his interest and now concern in time to see them stand,dropping some coins on the table before making their way to the door at a achingly unsteady pace. Cal doesn't hesitate; just grabs some bills hurriedly out of his pocket,takes a sip of the scalding tea before darting through the diner after them. They're crossing the street when he emerges ,and he begins to follow them,staying on this side of the road and watching them closely. Part of him trys to rationalize, maybe try to ignore it,but he can't. He won't,not this time.

You cross the street absently,not bothering to check for cars. A puddle soakes your sneaker as you step off the road onto the sidewalk,making your way down the street,head down. You have no plan,not really,but your feet move on their own acord. You hardly notice the knawing feeling in your gut as you walk through the city,people and cars passing in a haze,the sounds muffled by the static in your mind. The wind picks up as you walk along the ramp up to the bridge, traffic whirling by as the sky darkens,the sun setting grey behind the clouds slowly. Wind whips at you're face as you're feet,one now numb from the wet cold,stop finally at the center of the bridge on the walkway. You look out at the city,the highway below,a blur of cars,of people, hundreds of them,all unaware of your suffering, and god you feel selfish, self loathing rippling through you more at the thought. Pathetic.

You jump back as a bike whizzes by,the rider ringing the bell and shouting something about staying out of the way as he pedels away,and you dont react,stepping closer to the concrete railing,only waist high,your heart withering more as you stare down at the lights.

Cal fallows them through the city,only slightly surprised at how far they lead him,and his stomach drops when they take the turn up onto the highway bridge,shoulders sagging with weight he recognizes and sees more as they get closer to their destination. He quickens his pace slightly, maintaining some distance in an atempt not to scare them,though he doubts they'd even notice him if he was right beside them. A cyclists zooms past them as they stop at the peak of the bridge, startling them and making them move closer to edge,and his stomach clenches again. As the biker whizzes past him fast enough he has to move out of the way quickly,he shouts at they're retreating form "Oi! Watch yourself, aye!" Perhaps unnecessary, but god it pissed him off. He turns his attention back to see them stareing down at the highway below, leaning far too close to the short railing. He moves closer,slow and careful,his eyes strained on their form.

"Nice night,aye?"

You look up at the greeting,pulled out of your thoughts slightly as your gaze focases on the man standing a few paces away. He's not very tall,hands shoved into the pockets of a black long coat,his greyish light brown hair wind tossed,and piercing eyes watching you like he knows something. Shit.

"Yeah. I supose."

You say,clearing your throat and looking away. He seems harmless, but damn it you dont need this.

"Well,guess it is rather dreary. But that ain't all that makes a nice night."

He says,his words carrying a british accent.

You shrug,hoping he'd just move on,or maybe hoping he'd stay,you're not sure anymore.

Its quite for a moment,that serms to drag on,the wind stinging at you're skin.

They look awful. Any pretense he'd seen earlier is quickly fading as they stare at the drop,and he hrits his teeth,fighting the urge to grab them,pull them away from the ledge.

"It ain't true,you know."

He says,watching them.

You look up,your brows furrowing.

"Whats not true?"

You ask despite yourself, wondering if you'd misjudged him,maybe he was drunk or high,crazy maybe. He takes a slow step forward, not in a menacing way,more tentative, careful.

"Whatever is making you think you deserve to be here. Whatevers got you thinking about taking a leap."

He says bluntly, and you blink,freezing. You open your mouth,close it,then scoff,though it comes out tight,choked.

"You don't know that. You don't know me."

You say,looking away again, heart twisting at you're own words,and you see him move a step closer out of the corner of your eyes,and you stiffen,causing him to freeze.

"True...but perhaps we could change that. I reckon I'd like that. Whether you'd enjoy my acquaintance though is another story. "

You laugh,a tight, dry humorless sound.

"Your strange."

You say before you can stop yourself, and he chuckles,a soft,rich sound.

"Aren't we all? So,what do you say. Wanna have a chat? I know a good cafe nearby,serves good tea. Or coffee,if you rather sludge."

You blink,not looking up from the highway below for a long moment. God,you just...you could just...but your hesitant.

"Why?"

You ask,because its all you can think of. Why was he talking to you. Why was he acting like he cared. Why.

He's quiet for a moment, and then takes a small step closer,keeping his poster small,non threatening.

"Cause you seem like you need some company."

He says simply,and you can tell by his tone he means it as more, and something small in you breaks,because in all your fear,in all the pain,you feel a surge of gratitude. Of desperate hope. Because somehow this stranger was getting through. Somehow he saw you.

"...how far is the cafe?"

You ask softly, and he smiles,you see it out of the corner of your eye,and it reaches you,despite the pain,you smile just the tiniest bit.

"Just round the corner, love."

He says,and you nod,slowly stepping back from the edge. Your mind still swirls,your not sure you dont still want to jump,but you turn,and walk with the strange man. You're not sure why,even as he starts up a conversation about how they'd changed so much in the downtown area recently, talking with you like it was normal, like you were friends,like he hadn't just saved you from ending your life. But you find yourself grateful for the normalcy,

for the companionship,as you converse with him.

Not this one. Thats the thought that runs through his head as he walks beside them,leading them to the cafe,relieved. He didn't miss it this time. He'd seen it. He'd saved them. And it was worth it.

"Thank you,by the way."

He says,and watches them look up in confusion.

"For what?"

"For staying. "

Authors Note:

So um yeah i have felt these tjings before😭anyways i wanted to portray smth with cal and how hes desperate to make up for missing the sighns in his mom✨️✌️😭anyways i hope you liked! If you want more cal fics or have requests let me know!💕

Thank you for reading!💕🫂

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