Swipe Right
I have been using tinder for quite some time now and it still baffles me how this algorithm fishes out “your one true love”; that is, if you both decide to swipe right (oh yay, it is a fucking match). The real deal happens when you start talking or in some cases wait for the other person to say “Hi” back which normally takes a few days, abnormally, maybe NEVER. I get excited when I get matched but things go down the drain quickly when the small talks don’t flourish to anything close to “let’s get coffee on Friday” or “Netflix and Chill?”. You see, just like the simple essence of falling in love, things start with a good conversation, a hearty laugh here and there, and the intangible chemistry between you and your match - without those, your match must have been by accident ( profiles saying that “when I super like you, that’s just my hand accidentally swiping up, not me” like SRSLY? ) and will probably be just another addition to your growing “oh yay I matched with these scumbags but most of them are too busy to even hollah back” list. Frustrating, I know. Recently, I got matched with someone who’s exactly my type - Creative, into Ukuleles and super funny. We talked a lot and seemed to have that “intangible chemistry”. We even added each other on facebook because ( I’M TALKING TO YOU TINDER PEOPLE) Tinder will not budge when you’re not using WIFI. How convenient. UGH.
We ended up picking facebook messenger as our new platform of choice; catch-ups, messaging defaults, and quirky conversations were made and then this: Tinder match: “Hey, I saw this photo of you and your friends” Me: Oh really, where? HAHAHA (I always put a lot of HAHAs and LOLs, IDK why) Tinder match: “Here. The guy in glasses look cute. Hehe” [ For visual reference, here’s the photo ]
Me: “But there are 2 of us wearing glasses -_- (At this point, I thought ako na ang nanalo). I hope you’re referring to me (EXPECTATIONS LEAD TO DISAPPOINTMENTS GIAN, REMEMBER THAT)” Tinder match: “Peace sign + Giddy emoji” THAT ASS. And my tinder match wasn’t even hiding it that the focus shifted from me ( yeah, le tinder match was checking out me profile ) to my very good friend. At some point, my friend’s name pops out in our conversations and ze tinder match makes it sound like a joke just so maybe I won’t feel bad. I’ll be honest here, since this is my personal page - my initial reaction was “ARE YOU SERIOUSLY CHECKING OUT MY PROFILE TO DIG UP OTHER BOYS?” But the patient, very calm me (Thanks, Yoga classes) stayed cool and chill about it. But really, if anyone is reading this, WHO DOES THAT???? For a brief time, my hopes were high; that in this cluttered TINDER app I would encounter someone who seems so perfect, well at least, seemed like a perfect fit for me. The initial excitement of getting to know someone new was overwhelming - and I guess I choked a little. Same old GIAN, trying to think of a flowery, romantic future with a Tinder match he just started talking to. HAY, DI NA AKO NATUTO - na all things in haste turn to waste (GDC, 2017 HAHA). After that I started having little doubts about my batting average; hindi naman ako bakekong pangit (super ugly) but I’m not super hunk material either. Sabi pa niya, “your creativity got me”, LUH, nag emanate sa screen? lumabas sa phone yung creativity ko? SMH That’s the catch with swiping right, it comes with a risk, a limited-time offer, and sometimes, a full bag of disappointments. Sometimes, the people you thought were goddamn fine were just masked by fancy and complicated algorithms that’ll be too bad para iswipe left mo sila. Looking back at it, I still find it funny but digging deeper, I still kinda hate myself for thinking, moving, and investing emotions way too fast - I need to enroll myself in an advanced tempering your emotions class. sigh.
I’m still talking to that Tinder match (How stupid can I get, right? HAYYYY) but moving forward, no expectations will be set. Go lang ako sa flow mga bes. PERO YUNG TOTOO tinder match, from a scale of zero to a dog spotting a squirrel, gaano ka ka-distracted? EYES ON ME, BITCH. hahahaha Me to Tinder match: “Mention my friend’s name one more time…” LOL
