SUMMARY . . . a letter to his first love, kum junhyeon, and the memories that follow.
PAIRING . . . kum junhyeon x male!reader
GENRE . . . fluff+angst (deadly combination)
WARNINGS . . . none i'm pretty sure!
WORD COUNT . . . 777 (wow shorter than i expected!)
NOTES . . . here we go with junhyeon!! haha, can't tell if this is supposed to be sad or cute but you can decide that for yourself
it's been a while, it has. i like to think that i'm a consistent person, but the last time we talked was almost three months ago, and i just wanna check up on you! i hope your okay, how's the performance art major going? i know your passing with no issue, you've always been insanely talented, i have no doubt that your the star student, especially with how much of a lovable person you are.
i hope you haven't forgotten me, because i haven't forgotten you. i know you've responded to my letters, all of them, but it's been three months, and even though this might make me sound like a clingy bitch, i assume you'd forget me already, because.. i just don't really think i'm memorable. i also just wouldn't be surprised if you forgot me at all, because your busy and having fun, i wish i could be there with you, but the world really just hates my guts.
if your interested, art has been going well. my teachers have told me that my paintings are so good that they could get accepted into an art museum someday, you told me that once, remember? when we were twelve and you saw my painting of that house by the lake, you told me i was gonna become the next 'da vinci', which resulted in me punching you in the shoulder.
i dislike thinking about the fact that we haven't talked for the past few months. i constantly check my phone and frown when i see no notifications from you. did you know, the picture i chose for you is the one from your twelfth birthday, when i put icing on your noise. you always said that photo was embarrassing, but you looked cute, even though you would always vehemently deny that.
it's difficult these days, you know student loans and all, but thinking about you always seems to help me forget about all the horrible stuff going on in my life (you better not call me cringey in the return letter), because.. i don't know, i just like thinking about you for some reason. years ago, i could have never imagined myself saying that, but now, it's kind of hard to go on without you, if you get what i mean.
i could never imagine my life without you years ago..
i hate writing like this, because.. well— i sound stupid when i write about stuff like this. sometimes, i wish i could have convinced my parents to not move me to new york for college, but then again, i am "successful" now, so i guess in the end it all amounted to something. of course, i still have a long way to go, i'm only nineteen, there's still so much for me to do and accomplish, but it's disappointing to think i have done this all without you by my side.
i still have that painting you made me, your a really talented artist, i can't believe you called it "just a small hobby for when i'm bored", when you've made some better paintings than me, and that's saying something. i miss you, like a lot, junhyeon, writing my feelings on paper makes me feel stupid, because expressing myself through writing has always been difficult for me to do, as i've told you before.
i know what we have has always been a little complicated, our feelings are mutual are they not? i'd like to think i'm right in this instance, hopefully, because it would be super embarrassing if i was wrong, but at the same time, how long will it be until we see each other again? how long will it be until i actually get to see you face to face and tell you how i feel all over again?
this is getting kinda depressing, sorry, i just— i really miss you a lot okay? this may come off as desperate and stupid, but honestly, it gets kinda difficult knowing your all the way across the ocean and i could be right there with you if the circumstances were different, but alas, not everything is gonna be in my favor, i realize that now.
anyway, kum junhyeon! it'll be nice to catch up much more personally sometimes, if we ever get the chance to see each other in person once again, which is probably highly unlikely but hey! we all need to have at least a little bit of hope.
of course, make sure to take care of yourself, love, stay hydrated, and get a full eight hours of sleep everyday, i'll talk to you again soon :).