Lemme tell you a story about true love
So I was feeling nostalgic and talking to my husband about how when I was a kid, my dad had subscribed to the ThinkGeek catalogue and it was always a joy to flip through those pages of pure unadulterated nerd culture capitalism. I obviously pined for the expensive effigies of nerdom, fantasized about how I would decorate my future work desk with the miscellaneous baubles, and dreamt of going to school with my geek glory proudly emblazoned with one of their many quirky t-shirts.
But one item stuck out to me in particular, and has stuck with me to this day.
The Titanium Spork.
This perfect, unbreakable combination of fork and spoon captured my young mind for reasons only the Tick knows. It appeared in every iteration of the catalogue that was delivered to our humble abode. I told my husband that my young self reveled in having this perfect tool and that I would never need any other piece of silverware so long as I owned this beautiful titanium masterpiece.
I also told him I mourned my lack of forethought and had not purchased one before ThinkGeek’s tragic end and that now I would never hold one in my hands.
My husband simply told me that titanium sporks were a staple of camping gear and that he had some with his at his parents’ house.
I told him he did not have to go digging through his old camping gear to merely satisfy my younger self’s fantasy, for I knew the state of things in his parents’ garage.
He shrugged and we moved on to another topic of discussion.
During the weekend, he went to go pick up groceries from his parents’ house and returned as usual. I do not join him in this as I has work in the mornings, but I do help in putting the day’s gatherings in their proper place for later consumption. And there, dear readers, I saw it. As I did my weekly duty, there at the bottom of the box of consumable goods, was a beautiful, shining testament to my husband’s true love. A titanium spork.
My beautiful, thoughtful, loving, perfect husband had actually taken the time to find a titanium spork in his old camping gear.
Ladies, gentlemen, people who do not define themselves by such trivial social titles, this, this is true love. To fulfill the petty desires of youth, just to see the big, dumb grin on your wife’s face for a simple, silly joke.
