#titcombs

[sickofyourship]

everyone please shame my cat, he is the poop gremlin

[sickofyourship]

how fucked up would it be if you got married, had two kids, divorced your spouse and erased their memory in the witch's hut, then courted them until they fell in love with you again and married them a second time and then proceeded to raise their kids with them even though they had no idea that they were their own kids

[sickofyourship]

anxiety: so here's the worst case scenario

worst case scenario: *is proven wrong*

anxiety: so here's the next worse case scenario

[sickofyourship]

cute date idea: get really stoned and take turns showing each other songs

[sickofyourship]

dad: someone's coming to check out the sink and it's not out of the question that the house could have black mold. think about what you would grab if we had to evacuate

me: 20 years of anxiety has prepared me for this

[sickofyourship]

2019: your messages app shows a moving elipses when someone is typing

3019: the elipses moves at the same speed they're typing

[sickofyourship]

me, to a furry: hey do u think my cat is hot

[sickofyourship]

my son has no impulse control

my stupid fucking cat just does whatever the fuck he wants and won't listen to me when I yell at him which I hate doing but I've tried everything else and he hardly flinches from the spray bottle anymore and