#tjvc

[missatomicbeach]

Today was my last semis I think I might cry ?????!?!? But we did so well--we're in second going into finals and everything hit and jeodneieosmhskdb I 💗 TJVC

[riverachelle-blog]

I'm not gonna sleep.

I can't believe it took me so fucking long to really realize everything you've done for me, and all the fucked up things I did to you. I feel like shit and of course no one wants to feel like this, but I should. Everything that I've done suddenly came back to me today and reminded me what kind of horrible fucking person I am. I don't know why I did all those things that I did and let you slip away when how I felt/feel is the opposite reflection of what actually came out. People keep telling me to live life with no regrets. But how can I freaking do that when I've done things like this. Things like losing you. I don't even know what kind of person I am, or what the hell happened to make me turn into such an asshole. And I don't even know what was so good about me that made you stay even after all the shit I did. I don't even know what to do anymore. How can I fix this. I can't do it. You're gone. It's too late. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I made you disbelieve. I'm sorry that I made you stop trusting me. I'm sorry that I've done all of this to lead to.. all of this. I'm sorry that I had to make this public. I guess I didn't have to. But I don't know if you would have read it well enough if it was private. I'm sorry for everything fucked up that I did, which was basically actually everything I did. I'm sorry that there was apparently something about me that made you stay. I'm sorry that I never understood. I'm sorry that you were so close to perfect and I could never even come ten thousand feet away from it. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..

[fuckingsh4y]

those 54 days without you were hell, don't ever do that to me again. but thank you for coming back, love.

[fuckingsh4y]

i miss you, a lot more than I should...

[riverachelle-blog]

September 27, 2011.

092711.

tjvc.

K. Bye.

[riverachelle-blog]

Dear You,

I'm just thinking a lot. What am I thinking about? You.

But not just you. It's what to do with you. You, and all my feelings for you. I told myself from the start this wasn't gonna be anything big because I didn't want anything holding me back at a brand new school with brand new people. It's only a few weeks away from me. I don't know what to expect there and I want the freedom to be able to do what I want to do without worrying about anything else. But then at the same time, I still love talking to you and I like the feeling I get around you. I'm happy when we talk but I'm scared to feel anything more than this. Even though, I've found it in me to trust you so much.

See, this is bad. I try to convince myself that you don't mean that much to me, so that pushing you away won't hurt that bad. I wanna keep talking to you and at the same time I want this to be over. I need a reason to stop feeling like this. Either I take another risk and let myself fall, or I just stop myself completely and get the hurt over with. I can't stand knowing what I have to do and still not bringing myself to do it. But, maybe I'll listen to you since I can't seem to listen to myself. Whatever you say, remember? I'm obviously too hopelessly confused to make a decision on my own.