-𝐁𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐈 𝐃𝐢𝐞-
Ft. Frostheim
Divider credits: @astroyosei (bottom) @pepsipoet (top)
A/N: Hellooo everyone :3 I’ve been working on this since “Our Last Goodbye pt. 1” released, but I wanted the last episode of season 1 to release before I put out this series. The song “Nobody” by Mitski also heavily inspired the making. Although, who doesn’t know the song. I’ve been editing this for a couple days, so I’m excited to finally upload it! I’ll be working on more parts of this, the next will be Vagastrom, but don’t expect a release anytime soon. I hope you enjoy this one ( >3<) ~♥︎
Tags: 3500+ words, angst, kisses, Reader is MC, gender neutral, takes place EP 24 (Our Last Goodbye Part II), so… spoilers ahead, an AU where the world doesn’t end & they don’t save MC
Requesting rules here! (Read before requesting)
╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗ Intro
You could feel the inevitable fate of your death approaching you day by day. You pushed as hard as you could, but no amount of struggling could help you escape. Tomorrow they would come for you; isolate you from everything you knew. No one managed to save you in the end, maybe it was always meant to turn out that way. You are alone in your room, looking out the window, and thinking back on the past year you spent at darkwick. Even though you were threatened almost daily, this place and the ghouls had their charms.
You waited in silence for your visitor to arrive. You wanted the comfort of another person on your last night.
-♡-
𝐉𝐢𝐧
“Here.” You get a text from Jin, he really couldn’t just knock on your door? You open the entrance to find an unimpressed Jin. He stared down at you with more hostility than usual, he pierced your soul with his icy stare,
“What part of ‘we’re done’ can't get through your head.” He squints his eyes and waits to hear your justification for texting him so late at night,
“You came, didn’t you?” You retort. You gave him the option to stay in his room, but here he stands at your door. He had the option to stay in his room, but he walked far for someone that didn’t want to speak to you. You knew there was a high chance that he would ignore your text, but you needed to give it one last try because he knows you won’t be here long.
Jin turned his head, he couldn't stand looking at your pitiful face. The more he thought about it, he wondered why he walked all the way to your dorm. He meant it when he said you were done, and he didn’t want to see your face again. He pulled himself out of the comfort of his room for you, but he didn’t understand it much himself. He felt betrayed by someone he let near him, he knew he could’ve done so much more if he went with you. You didn’t choose him though.
His eyes darted around the room, staying silent until he heavily sighed, “You have a minute before I decide that this is a waste of my time.” He delivered coldly. You desperately wanted him to stay with you, but you knew that he wasn’t going to allow that to happen.
You deeply breathed in to calm your nerves, “Is this really how you want to say goodbye Jin? I…” you quickly collected your thoughts, you had so much to say to him in such little time. “I know that I hurt you, and I meant to bring you along but… it was out of my hands, and I’m sorry. But I don’t think that it warranted yelling at me and smashing a vase in front of me. It’s unfair, because I’m not the one who gets to decide anything around here. I haven’t had a choice of what happens to me, or where I end up. I get told what to do every single day, and it’s been like that since the day I got cursed. I just want something to go my way for once. I called you here because I care about you, not because I have a score to settle even though I feel like I have more than the right to. I don’t know what you want from me though, because it seems like you like me more than just an honour student, but you keep yourself in such a tight bubble. It’s my last night, please just grant me this little bit of peace…”
You played with the hem of your shirt, scanning his face for any hint of emotion, but all you could find was a deep scowl.
Jin had a strange relationship with his own feelings, and adding yours into the mix made his head feel like a maze. To him, you were a spark of hope when you showed up. You could make him useful again, and make people bend to his will like he did before. Even after, he could feel some sort of change after you arrived, and it irritated the fuck out of him whenever he tried to figure it out. But, even if he was to put a name on what he feels, it’s no use now. It’ll just damage him further when he’s already a broken shell of what he once was. He can barely look at you as is, you’re a reminder of his shortcomings. He can’t stand doing this, or being here. If he returns to the cold confines of his room, he doesn’t have to face what’s ahead of him. He doesn’t have time for any of this.
Jin steps closer to you, and pulls you to him by the wrist. His other hand grabs the back of your head, and in a flash, you feel the soft warmth of his lips on yours. His grip is firm, and the hand pulling you in shivers, and unready to let go. You move to grab any piece of him, when you hear the soft command “stay.” and almost immediately, you’re left standing in the middle of your room, alone. He makes his way out of your home without a word, not looking back. You want to run out of your door and catch him, but your feet are stuck to the floor, and your brain can’t catch up to yell for him. When you feel control, you collapse yourself on your bed, and realize that this is how it ends. You’re alone in this, and it turns out that you’ve been alone for a long time. There’s no more strength to hold back your sobs any longer.
Jin walks back to his icy castle, unwilling to look behind him. His hand lifts to cradle his head while he’s walking, unable to get you out of his mind.
His voice gets caught in his aching throat, “Idiot...”
-♡-
𝐓𝐨𝐡𝐦𝐚
Tohma firmly knocks on your door, looking at the worn out cathedral as he waits for your answer. A smile stretches across his face once you open your room.
“Tohma! Hello, come inside.” You step out of the way for him to come in, but instead, he stands there eyeing you up and down.
“I apologize if this is abrupt, but I thought we could take a walk together instead.” Inquired Tohma. You look down at yourself and the state you’re in, you hum to yourself in thought,
“Okay… but I need to get ready first, give me a moment.” You close the door and scramble for clothes to wear. You didn’t expect to see other people, much less to walk around with someone as clean as Tohma. You throw on the nearest outfit and head out, when you’re met with Tohma holding out his waiting hand. You smile and take his hand in yours, walking down the dark cathedral hallways. He darted his eyes across the hallway, scanning the cracks in the wall, the growing vines, and debris scattered across the floor.
“If you told Jin about your living situation, we would’ve gotten you better living quarters." His voice had a hint of concern as he looked around. You questioned if Darkwick had any intention of fixing the decaying building in the first place.
You half-heartedly giggled “It has a charm to it, but I’ve stepped in holes more often than I’d like to admit.” It was often wondered how the dorm became so dilapidated when it was open to students a year prior.
The towering double doors loudly creaked as they opened, and the cool breeze was refreshing compared to your musty room. It seemed like forever since you’ve stepped outside, it was hard not to get sucked into the beautiful night sky. Tohma pulls on your hand to continue walking, and your attention returns to him.
Tohma knew you needed fresh air, you’ve been holed up for a few weeks, and he couldn’t let you spend your last night inside. He knows this isn’t how you wanted your life to end. You didn’t get a choice in the matter of what happens to you. You’ll be caged, and there won’t be anyone beside you. You knew no one was going to save you, despite everyone’s desperate efforts to lift your curse. Even he tried his hardest, he knew better than to expect anything, but he was holding onto the hope that you wouldn’t leave him.
You two walked in silence, observing the quiet night surrounding Darkwick. It was strange walking through campus without seeing another soul. You suppose that people didn’t want to go out since more anomalies have been witnessed walking around lately. You knew Tohma would protect you, he always did.
He walks off the cobblestone path, and onto a patchy dirt path that leads into a thicket of trees. You grip his hand tighter when the trees block your view of the sky.
He chuckles, “it’s just through here,” he walks along a careful path that reaches glowing light on the other side. When you walk towards the end of the thicket, you’re hit with colourful blinding lights. Your eyes adjust and recognize the familiar sight of Tokyo. Cars hummed in the distance, and the city lights danced across the calm waters. Tohma grabs your hand and leads you to a decaying bench.
“People seemed to have forgotten about this place.” He unbuttons his blazer and lays it across the mossy wood. He seats you on his coat and joins alongside you. You thank him and look towards the neon city.
“Im going to miss looking at sights like this. This is the only time I can enjoy it.” It filled you with impending doom whenever you thought of where they were taking you. It scared you to think of what they would do to you. You cave into yourself a little and think of the things you still wanted out of life. Your eyes dart to Tohma, observing a new face of his, it’s the closest to relaxation you’ve ever seen on him. Your heart aches at how little you spent time with him. You were constantly busy, making it difficult to focus on what you actually wanted to do.
“Hey…” you speak up after minutes of comforting silence, “I wanted to ask you something that may be a little out of the blue.” You shuffle yourself closer to him and look him in the eyes. Before you can think of what to say, Tohma reaches his hand to your face and pulls you closer by your chin. Your face goes red, and his mouth stretch into a smug smile before your lips met his. Every cell in your body jumps, like electricity going through every nerve. You relax yourself into the kiss and reach your hand behind his head to deepen it. He pulls away to examine your face, satisfied with himself.
He’s had to keep himself in check for a while, and this is one of the rare moments he finds that he can escape from his own expectations. He’d be lying if he didn’t find you interesting, and he even dared to see himself with you in the future if circumstances were better. It didn’t help that Jin had his eye on you, and he’d be a disappointment of a second-hand man if he swept you off your feet. But he wanted this one thing for himself, he can deal with the consequences at a later date for being so selfish.
You locked eyes with him, and after shock subsided, so did your hesitation to pull him back into you. His hands moved as quickly as yours did, and pulled each other into a desperate kiss that neither wanted to let go of. Why couldn’t this last forever? Both of you slowly let go of each other, and pulled back with content expressions. You relaxed yourself into him, leaning onto Tohma as the two of you observed the bright night sky. If time could stop, you’d be happy sitting with him in your final moments for an eternity.
-♡-
𝐊𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐨
You waited at your door, expecting Kaito to show up any moment. He seemed excited when you texted him, and he’s not someone to make you wait. You hear faint footsteps in the echoing hallway, approaching your door. You opened your door to find Kaito fidgeting with his phone, and he jumped so slightly when he saw you, snapping into a choppy greeting,
“H-Hey! Sorry for keeping you waiting, these halls look the same.. haha…” He was sweating bullets standing there, and his fingers kept moving to play with the hem of his sweater. You kept your giggle to himself, if you told him that you thought he was cute when he was nervous, he’d surely run away from you. You walk backwards into your room and invite him in, he hesitantly walks inside and closes the door, quietly panicking to himself,
“Iminagirlsroomaloneohmygoshohmygosh…” he smacks himself before you can look at him, in an attempt to pull himself back into reality. You walk upstairs and open the giant window, and gaze onto the quiet campus. You sit on the window sill, and move over so Kaito has room to sit beside you. He joins you, and sits an arms length away from you, stiffly leaning against the window frame.
The stillness isn’t making his anxiety better, and it’s not like he has anything new to tell you. He can’t talk about the future with you, or what comes tomorrow. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out candy that he’s been saving for you.
“Candy?” He squeaks out. You take one and pop it into your mouth. He doesn’t stop looking at you after he offers one, and he realizes that he probably looks creepy, but the moon casts a beautiful glow that dances on your skin.
“It’s really good, it’s probably one of the best selections they have at the general store.” You say. You look down at the campus and prepare yourself to tell Kaito why he’s actually here.
“I really wish I could’ve had more time.” You somberly whispered,
“I know that you know, but tomorrow they’re gonna take me away…” sometimes when you think about it, maybe you and Kaito could’ve been something when the curse was lifted. It broke your heart when you thought of all the things you wanted to do with him.
Kaito felt the same pain in his heart, it was a grim reminder of his failure, he did everything to save you. For the past year, all he’s been doing was watching you from afar. He wasn’t sure if you liked him, how could you when it seemed like you could have anyone you wanted? For a while there, he thought you had a thing for Luca. Jin and Tohma always pulled you away, the first years were bolder than him, and it took Kaito everything he had to protect you and not freak out and back down. This is all he wanted: to be alone with you. Now that he was, he wasn’t sure what to do, his stomach twisted and turned on his way over, and it got worse when you invited him inside. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, or what to say to you to try and make you feel alright. He supposes that nothing he could say would make you alright, you were going to die in a week. He looked down on himself, you were hurting and he couldn’t help.
His face twisted in frustration before muttering, “I’m… sorry for not doing more…” All he could do was watch you get taken away from him, the one person he truly yearned for.
You cupped his cheek, and shivered slightly when he felt your touch. You pulled him to look at your pained face,
“Kaito, I know you did everything you could… and I don’t blame you.” You said with a quiet voice. He leaned into your touch, heating up at your affection, but he couldn’t ruin this moment with you so he shoved his shock out of the way.
“I know this is a lot to ask… but before I die, can I ask for a kiss?” You looked at him with such love that his mind blanked. He immediately shook his head, and wet his bone dry mouth. Both of you shifted closer to each other, enough to touch legs. Not knowing where to grab, he set his hand behind you and leaned closer. He hesitantly closed in on you, until you pulled him into a sweet kiss. He didn’t want you to leave him, you’re one of the only things he has left. The hand behind you moves to your waist and pulls you closer to him. The two of you part each other, Kaito holds his arm around you for a moment before pulling back with a shriek. He can’t comprehend that he actually kissed you.
His shock and flushed face makes you giggle and tip onto his shoulder. He lets you rest your head on him, but you pat his back because you couldn’t feel him breathe.
“Please just stay with me, I don’t want to be alone.” You plead. He calms down and anxiously rests his head on yours, looking at the growing night sky.
-♡-
𝐋𝐮𝐜𝐚𝐬
Luca got your text and stood at the door wondering if he should even knock on the door. He thought of getting you a gift, but flowers would be a bad reminder for both of you. He stared at your door in frustration, what was he supposed to say? You locked yourself in your room, you haven’t spoken to anyone in a few days, and he had nothing comforting to say. How could he face you after failing to save you? He clenched his fists at his own shortcoming. If he was stronger, you never would’ve have to be put in this position.
His chest squeezed, and he stared down at his feet, not ready to knock on your door. He thought of turning away for his own selfish reasons, but you wanted to see him of all people.
He lifted his fist, and just as he was about to knock, you opened the door. His face turned red and he immediately put his arms at his side,
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you, but you’ve been tapping your foot out here for a while.” You noted, you smile at his fidgeting and move aside for him.
He coughed in his hand, and stepped inside your disheveled home.
“Did you need something at this hour?” He nervously questioned. His hands felt uncomfortable beside him, but he was afraid to move from the middle of your room. Was he allowed to sit with you?
“I know I called you late at night, but I wanted to spend time with you.” You admit. Luca’s eyes widened, and hesitantly sat on the edge of your bed a distance away from you. He stared at anything but your direction. Both of you felt that there was an uncomfortable silence filling the room, afraid to look at each other. You broke the quiet with your own rambling,
“I’m scared to go tomorrow, I’ll miss going to class with you and Kaito. I didn’t think time would pass by so fast, honestly…”
Right. Darkwick was taking you to a containment facility tomorrow. His stomach dropped at the realization. He didn’t think the time would pass by quickly either, he thought he had a couple more days to make things right with you.
He narrowed his eyes, and the weight that sat on his chest was getting to be more than he could bare.
“I apologize if I’m ruining anything, but I can’t ignore my feelings any longer.” He firmly stated. You looked at him with confusion as he took your hands, and knelt on the ground in front of you. His eyes burned with deep sincerity,
“I’m sorry that I was useless to you, I told you that I’d protect you, and I broke the promise that I made.” He held your hands tighter, and as much as you wanted to stop him from blaming himself, you knew he’s been feeling this way for a long time. He’s never been good at keeping his feelings to himself.
“If I was stronger, then maybe things would be different, but I don’t want to say goodbye without giving you every thought in my mind, and every apology I want to ma-” He opened his mouth to speak, and you pulled him closer to put your mouth on his, in an effort to stop him. His mouth hung open slightly, and loosened his grip on your hands while the gears in his head worked overtime.
You blurted, “Luca, I don’t need an apology.” He looked at you tentatively, “I don’t blame you for what happened. I don’t think anyone could have done anything, it was probably set in stone that it would turn out like this. You’ve stuck by me since I first arrived at Darkwick, and I could never blame you because you’ve always been strong enough for me. You’re sweet Luca, you’ve always tried to protect me and that’s why you’re my favourite.” You spill out the words in your head, and you tug on his arms to sit beside you again. He looks at you, not completely confident with himself,
“I’m happy that you’re trusting in me, but even so, I don’t think I could forget so easily. You… mean a lot to me, and if you were gone then...” He turned away from you when he trailed off, his eyebrows scrunched and he closed his eyes.
You cup his face to turn towards you, “You mean so much to me as well, please spend my last night with me…” you give him such a pleading look, that he could never think of leaving you alone.
He plants his hand on your cheek, and moves his head until he’s an inch away from you. “May I kiss you?” He whispers, you breath out a yes, and without hesitation he leans in slowly to plant his soft lips on yours. He melts into you and pulls your face closer to deepen the kiss. He pulls away to look at your adorable expression, and smooches you once more with all of the tenderness in his heart. If he was never going to see you again, he’s going to kiss you until it makes up for all of the kisses that should’ve been true.
╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝
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