your boyfriend, who doesn’t care what you wear when you two go out— he truly believes all that matters is if your outfit makes you feel pretty n’ confident!
your boyfriend, who showers you with compliments, and loves taking pictures of you on his phone to set as his wallpaper or for you to post on your instagram. he always makes sure to comment something along the lines of “photo credits 🤨” if you decide to post them.
your boyfriend, who will never understand when anyone complains about showing “too much” skin— in his mind, there is no such thing as “too much” skin. in fact, he loves it when you show skin and wear those small, tight slutty tops, miniskirts, and short shorts that you love.
your boyfriend, who overhears others talking about how their own girlfriends would wear “too revealing clothes,” and he always scoffs and simply replies, “then don’t bag a baddie next time.”
your boyfriend, who loves it when you snap back at others. one time, someone pointed out that they could see your bra, and you replied, “good. it was fucking expensive.” he lives for your sass.
your boyfriend, who doesn’t see a problem with people looking at you unless they’re directly making you uncomfortable. he really sees no problem with it— people look at beautiful people all the time, right? nothing’s wrong with it.
your boyfriend, who gets annoyed you when you get catcalled on the street, but never makes it your problem. it’s not your fault that you’re getting whistled at; you didn’t do anything wrong.
your boyfriend, who will always protect you when other men try to harass you. it’s not that he thinks you’re weak, really! he knows you can protect yourself, but he enjoys the privilege of pulling you close and calling you his, whilst telling those losers to back off.
that doesn’t mean your boyfriend doesn’t get jealous; of course, he does! but petty jealousy shouldn’t dictate your happiness! he’s just not insecure like that.
He was a punk. She did ballet. What more can I say? He wanted her. She'd never tell. ❞
starring : yearner!vagstrom x gn!reader
ALAN MIDO — "You are safest beyond my reach and yet my heart betrays me, aching to pull you closer in my arms."
Occasionally, he wonders if wanting you is a crime he has yet to be punished for. A captain, they call him. A weapon. A murderer even. Names that sit heavily on his shoulders, forged by countless rumors and others that are perhaps best to remain unheard. To others, he is an ex convict and a suspect. Yet to you, he hopes to be nothing at all. He tells himself that this is enough. That protecting you is the closest thing to love he deserves.
LEO KUROSAGI — "Relax, Honor Roll. I’m just playing, though perhaps I’d stop if you admit you like me."
Yearning… it’s a nuisance, really. Something people dramatize when they have nothing better to do. He scoffs at the idea, yet at the sight of you, perhaps he secretly believes in those ridiculous rumors. And in his own twisted way, to get back at the world that made him feel this way, he takes it out on… you. Always keeping you in the background of his posts, never denying that you’re his. He tags your socials while your friends bombard you with questions when they spot you in the background of his TikToks. He’ll even drop a few teasing comments, reminding you that a nobody like you should feel lucky to be his “fake girlfriend.” And while you’re too busy getting mad, he’s already studying your reactions, seeing if you truly feel the same way he does.
SHOHEI HAIZONO — "Can’t you tell I care? Even in my own stupid little way."
Seriously… Do you know the things you do to him? Do you notice how easily his heart beats a little faster when you laugh a little too close to him or the way he always lets you be the first one to try his new dishes even letting you cut the line to his food truck sometimes. He teases you, of course. Calls you names that aren’t quite insults, teases you when you’re too serious or just throws playful jabs to hide how often he thinks of you when no one else is watching. Perhaps the only way he knows how to show you how he feels is through his cooking… so maybe, visit him a little more often... Okay?
This was written before his initial full character reveal so I apologise in advance if its ooc :( | NOT PROOFREAD!!
Shion Genkai has his own way of showing his love.
He performs in a circus, so he's all about thrill and fun — that includes his feelings towards you. Other people court someone with chocolates, music, gifts — but in the eyes of a circus performer, it's bland, boring and has no sheer thrill in it.
Whenever a deadly trick was played in the circus, the adrenaline rushes within the audience, followed by silence, then a scream. While the general students cower in fear, you, a regular customer in Dionysia, stood among the crowd, clapping with a smile adorning your face.
That's when the infamous Shion Genkai takes interest in you.
The circus buzzed in joy as Shion grabs a torch, putting it on his mouth before breathing a fire, he keeps his eyes glued to your seat and seeing your face contorted in admiration, he can't help but feel the adrenaline rush in his veins — he feels thrilled.
“eek! he's staring over here again…” a general student shivered beside you. you glanced back at the stage only to find a pair of golden eyes looking at yours.
tilting your head, you gave him a small wave. In response, Shion continues his performance until the show is over.
little did you know, that small wave would change your life.
A soft sigh escaped from the young salmon-haired man, “there he goes again…” he said, looking at Shion, who strides his way towards you.
“Do you want me to stop him? I can go.” Jo suggested,
“Stop him? but it looks like Shion is on his discovery of love” Elias said, leaning on the tree, “this is the first time he took interest with someone aside from the sinostra’s captain” he added, Mio merely clicked his tongue, grumbling how Shion doesn't share the same interest in Taiga unlike yours.
Humming to yourself, you flipped the next page of the biology book, writing whatever words you can highlight in your notebook while your friend does the same.
“Hey [Name], can you— AHH!”
flinching, you snapped your head towards your friend — only to be met by a flame.
you didn't dare to move. the fire from the match almost touches your nose, if you move, your face would be done for.
Shion keep a keen eye on your reaction, with the flick of his hand, the match turns into a beautiful rose — deep red and very thorny on the sides.
“For you, my fair lady.” he hands you the rose, which you took from his offer, trying your best to avoid the thorns. You blinked, before giving a warm smile, “Thank you, that was one of the amazing trick I've seen.” you said, glancing at his bleeding hand, “are you…”
“Freetime is up, Shion. we need to head back to the circus.” Mio’s voice alerted the male. Shion huffed before turning to follow Mio and the others.
Just as he was about to leave, he turned his head at your direction, sticking out his burnt tongue, taking out a piece of poker card from his mouth before flicking it at your direction.
“Come, take a peek behind the curtain. Dionysia’s next act was rehearsed with you in mind.”
📱 an: requests are open for tkdb! god I hope I did his personality a little bit of justice | receipts
Note: I tried a new writing style half-way through so lmk what ya'll think
Dionysia
Elias Pratt
Okay he did not expect that.
Possibly the one time you see him geniunely shocked.
"That's not good..."
Gets you out of there as quick as he can.
If escape is not an option?
"Shhh....it'll be alright"
He'll comfort you before eliminating whatever the threat was (that way he'll be to gaslight you that what he did after comforting you was just your hazed mind making things up).
Very composed for someone who was holding a very injured and bleeding person.
Composure does not mean his heart was not beating furiously as he caressed your head.
He'd leave his housemates to deal with the anomaly, it'd most likely get blasted by Shion tho as nobody hurts his 'spouse'.
Elias always wants to drag you away from the man evertime he calls you that, but he has to be polite to his juniors and risking an angry Shion is not worth is emotions.
The interaction at Mortkraken is awkward, Yuri just tells Jiro to bring you to the operating room and soon follows you two.
Elias would patiently wait outside, texting the others that he returned early.
He'd come into the room once Yuri and Jiro finishes, waiting for you to awaken.
"Mghhh..."
"Glad to see you're awake"
He tries to talk to you, but your anesthesia drunk mind could only comprehend a hot guy sitting next to your bed, so all you did was giggle for the last 3 minutes.
That's fine, he finds your voice very cute :)
10/10 very chill unless you become so injured you have blood everywhere and pass out, then the boss music starts.
Jo Kongoza
"Shit, inspector!"
Immediately scoops you up into his arms.
"Where does it hurt?"
Tries to stop the bleeding before anything else.
He knows a thing or two, one because of Shion, and two was because some students get injured when doing a new trick or because of a technical error.
Talks to you the whole way, pls don't stop replying, he'd actually start losing his shit.
Like cold sweat but still locked in type losing shit.
That anomaly got no protection from Shion now, Darkwick can suck it because they can't do anything about it.
The Mortkraken doors were slammed open, Jo stepped in panting and sweaty, not because he was tired, ghouls have a shit ton of stamina.
But rather it was because of the sheer panic, his heart was beating faster than ever.
Yuri nearly jumped out of his chair, had Jiro not held his arm and put him back on the chair.
"She's hurt!"
Ofcourse the Mortkraken ghouls immediately got to work.
Jo restlessly sat in a chair, watching you get patched up by the pair.
He tries to calm himself down, but everytime he looks at you getting stitched up and bandaged, his heart just speeds up more.
"Ah..." He rubs his face into his hands.
As the captain, he should be more composed and put together, but this is wayyy too much for him.
When Yuri and Jiro was done patching you up, Jo would sit next to your bed waiting for you.
You'd wake up with a sleeping whos asleep on the chair, looking disheveled.
"Jo.." You ruffle his hair, to which he leaned into, his eyes opening halfway before closing again.
And he falls into a much more peaceful slumber.
Shion Genkai
"Did you just hurt my spouse?"
The dynamic with you and Shion is that only he can hurt you and/or make you cry, if anyone or anything else does it? Hohoho they're in for a treat.
Boss music intensifies.
He's the most (openly) hostile in this situation.
Someone else will have to carry you, because Shion would be a little too busy with the anomaly.
"You don't deserve to be happy" By happy he means cry which meant the anomaly was shredded to pieces immediately.
Personally, I think he wouldn't be by your bedside, depends on if you two are dating or not.
If you aren't dating him (yet), then he'd go about his day but will constantly ask about you.
Reason?
"I'd like to give my wife some space until she heals" Which was kinda sweet.
Though the moment you step into Dionysia, he's back to treatig you like normal, maybe with a little more care for your wounds.
"Do you have any stitches?" "Why are you limping?" Yadayadayada he'd ask until you're fully good, just so he can go back to his more...extreme ways of making you happy.
A good husband is one that makes his wife happy.
Mio Susuhara
"!?"
Mio was shocked, one second the anomaly was nowhere in sight, everything was clear...or so he thought.
It immediately aimed for you, having sensed you were physically weaker than Mio. "Inspector!" Mio calls out, catching you in his arms as your shirt became soaked with your blood.
"Ack!" You'd spit blood out of your mouth, the pain blinding and insistent. "We need to get out of here" Mio mutters under his breath, scooping you up into his arms.
The ghoul started running towards the exit, using his body to shield you from the anomaly.
"Shit shit shit!" You haven't heard Mio swore like that...so serious and kinda frustrated...it was kinda hot, so hot that you couldn't control the grin forming on your face, a dazed, pained grin.
Mio noticed your grin ofcourse, but he didn't address it until you two were in the Galaxy Express. "What're you smiling about?"
You just chuckled, sending a little shiver down his spine, "You're kinda hot when you're serious like that" Mio thought you were insane for a second "I think you're losing too much blood"
You however, kept talking in a dazed manner, which made Mio very concerned but atleast you were awake?
You didn't even realize when you were put on the Mortkraken bed because you were very very dizzy, like the world was spinning dizzy.
"I'm gonna administer anesthetsia, please stay still" Jiro put the needle in you, which knocked you out good even before the anesthesia got to you.
Mio however was still thinking about your words, like, was the amomaly poisonous orrr?
He'd wait for you to be fully healed by your bedside, texting his clients they'd have a bit of a move in schedule. (Which will make you feel kinda bad...)
When you wake up, Mio would be looking at you "Ah, you're awake" he says with a smile.
"Do you remember anything?" You shook your head, everything was a haze and you could only remember different parts seperately. "Well first you called my concerned face 'hot'"
"Oh I remember that well, that was intentional" You nodded, now Mio really froze.
Synopsis : It had happened after a particularly grueling mission in the Pit. You had boosted his stigma and the connection hadn’t quite snapped back into place. Now, whenever you were within ten feet of the delinquent, his voice echoed in your skull.
To respect his privacy, you did the only logical thing: you ran.
You are now currently hiding behind a stack of tires in the Vagastrom garage, watching Sho through a gap in the rubber. He was at his food truck aggressively flipping a spatula.
Man, where is she? Sho’s thought pierced through your brain, clear as a bell. I spent three hours perfecting this broth because she said the cafeteria’s soup tasted like dishwater. If she’s over there hanging out with that asshole Leo again, I’m gonna lose it.
You winced. You weren't with Leo; you were five feet away, feeling like a creep.
Shohei let out a loud, frustrated sigh, leaning over the counter of the truck. "Hey! Anyone seen my Senpai?" he shouted to a group of passing mooks. "If she’s slacking, tell her I’m taking her free meal credits!"
Lies. I’d never actually charge her, his mind added immediately, accompanied by a mental image of you smiling after a mission that made your heart skip a beat. She looked so tired yesterday. I just want her to sit down for five minutes so I can make sure she actually eats something that isn't a damn energy drink.
You couldn't take it. The sweetness of his concern, layered under that prickly exterior, was too much. You tried to slip away, but your boot caught on a metal scrap.
Clang.
Shohei’s head snapped toward the tires.
Found ya.
"Senpai? What are you doing skulking around like a stray cat?" Shohei walked over, wiping his hands on a grease-stained towel. He had that signature smirk on his face, the one that usually meant he was about to make your life difficult.
"You avoiding me? I didn't think you were the type to get scared of a little wrongdoing."
"I'm not avoiding you, Sho," you lied, stepping out and trying to keep your expression neutral. "I'm just... busy. Inspector stuff."
"Right. Busy hiding behind tires." He stepped into your personal space, his scent enveloping you.
She’s lying, his thoughts rumbled. Her heart’s racing. Is she sick? Did Hyde say something to her? If that bastard brother of mine annoyed her, I’m gonna go snowboard over his favorite lab equipment.
"You're acting weird," Sho said aloud, his eyes narrowing. He reached out, his fingers catching a lock of your hair. "You haven't been to the truck in three days. You cheating on my cooking with the Mystery Diner? Or is it Jin? You like those fancy Frostheim plates better than mine?"
Please say no. I’ll make whatever you want. I’ll even learn how to make that weird dessert you like.
"No one's cooking is better than yours, Sho," you whispered, the truth slipping out because his mental pleading was so earnest.
Shohei froze. A dark, dusty pink creeped up his neck. "Tch. Obviously. Don't say stuff like that so casually, y’know? It’s embarrassing."
God, I love it when she says stuff like that. I want to pull her into the truck and never let her leave. Keep her right there where it’s warm.
You felt your face heating up. "I... I have to go!"
You bolted before he could see you melt, leaving Shohei standing in the garage, his hand still suspended in the air.
What did I do? he wondered, his thoughts suddenly small and wounded. Did I tease her too hard? Dammit, Sho, you’re an idiot.
The distance lasted exactly four more hours. Sho had cornered you in the quiet corridor leading to your cathedral after classes ended. He didn't say a word; he just grabbed your wrist and pulled you into a small, shadowed alcove, pinning you against the cool stone wall.
"Alright, Senpai. Level with me." His voice was low, devoid of its usual playfulness. "What's the deal? You won't look at me, you won't eat my food, and you run every time I breathe in your direction. If you hate me, just say it. I'd rather you hate me to my face than... whatever this is."
It’s killing me, his mind whispered, the thought heavy with a vulnerability you’d never seen. I can’t focus. I almost put salt in the chocolate cake. If she leaves, this whole foodtruck thing doesn't even matter.
Your heart broke. You realized that by trying to respect his privacy, you were causing him more pain than the truth ever could.
"I don't hate you, Sho," you said, reaching up to cup his face. "I could never hate you. I was just... overwhelmed by how much I like you."
Shohei’s breath hitched. "Huh?"
Wait, for real? She likes me? Me?? FOR REAL??
"For real," you murmured, leaning in until your lips were inches from his. "I like the way you worry about me. I like that you perfect recipes just to see me smile. And I love that you'd snowboard over your brother's equipment for me."
Shohei’s eyes went wide. "How did you—?"
He didn't finish the question. He crashed his lips against yours, a desperate kiss that tasted of longing and relief. His hands slid into your hair, pulling you closer until there wasn't a breath of space between you.
As the kiss deepened, his thoughts became calm.
Finally. Her skin is so soft. I’m never letting go. I want to tell her everything. I want her to know she’s the only thing that makes this fresh hell of an academy bearable.
You pulled back just a fraction, your forehead resting against his. "You're the only thing that makes it bearable for me, too," you whispered.
Shohei’s grip tightened, his eyes shimmering with an intensity that made your knees weak. "You’re reading my mind, aren't you?" He let out a shaky, disbelieving laugh. "Of course you are. You’re always one step ahead of me, Senpai."
I don't even care, his thoughts sang as he leaned down to nuzzle your neck. Read everything. See every embarrassing thing I think about you. See how much I’m completely, hopelessly besotted with you.
"I see it," you murmured, tilting your head to give him better access.
Shohei groaned, his lips tracing the line of your jaw. "I’m gonna make you the best dinner of your life tonight," he muttered against your skin, his voice thick with emotion. "And then I’m gonna keep you in my room and make sure you never have a reason to run away again."
I’m gonna marry this girl, he thought with a sudden conviction. I’ll buy her a better ring than that Sage's thing. Something that doesn't curse her. Just something that says she’s mine.
You pulled him back into another kiss, drowning out the world and the static, leaving only the sound of a delinquent’s heart finally finding its home.
A/N: No words. Just look at Haru's room card. Had to whip this out immediately to contain my thoughts 👀
I was thinking if I should post this on my NSFW blog, but this isn't that explicit so maybe it's fine??? Also it's my first time writing something like this please don't judge me 😭
Other notes: Suggestive (descriptions of sex but not too explicit)
» MASTERLIST
His eyes fluttered open at the sound of his phone beeping, signaling to him that another busy day is waiting for him.
The rain pitter-pattered on his window pane, the cold air it brought along making the warmth beside him even more pronounced.
The sight of you sleeping soundly next to him made him smile, his chest filled with warmth.
Oh how lucky was he for you to choose him out of all the people you could have chosen in this island?
He will never know.
But as much as he wanted to stay with you a little longer, his responsibilities need him, and time waits for no man.
Carefully climbing out of bed, he pulled the covers over your sleeping form before quickly readying himself for the day.
"Mmm... Haru?"
A few minutes later, he heard you call out to him, voice still raspy with sleep.
"Sorry. Did I wake you?"
You shook you head. "No. Are you heading out now?"
"Yeah... Need to get an early start if I want to get everything finished by the end of the day."
"Guess I can't ask you to stay with me just a little longer then?" you ask as you stretched, wincing a little as you did.
He smiled apologetically.
"You should rest a little longer," he said, placing a kiss on your hair.
You tried to protest by getting up, but you soon fell back on the bed.
"Maybe I'll take you up on that," you smile wryly.
"Sorry. I overdid it last night, didn't I?"
The memories of last night's passion flashed in his mind's eye.
It has been a while since the last time the two of you had been together. He could've controlled himself better, but when he felt your warmth around him, all of his restraint just snapped.
"You did," you mumbled, averting your eyes as you continued, "but it's okay. I liked it."
He froze.
This is bad. If you continue being adorable like that, he might just lose it, and that would affect his schedule for the day.
He took a deep breath to calm himself.
"I should get going. See you later around lunch?"
You smiled. "Okay. See you later."
Bidding you goodbye, he closed the door to his room, already looking forward to fulfilling your promise to each other.
a/n: hi hi! this is based on this request. thanks for your patience, sweets! 🥰 also pls excuse the formatting in Ed's and Sho's, for whatever reason the app cut off the first few messages and I had to rewrite them 💀 | reblogs & comments are always appreciated! xx
⋆.𐙚 ̊ content note: fem!reader, slight angst to comfort/crack, mention of (period) blood in Ed's
⋆.𐙚 ̊ masterlist
⋆.𐙚 ̊ taglist: @hizashiismydad
⋆.𐙚 ̊ wanna travel to the stars and join my taglist? comment or send me a message! <3
Figuratively and literally, because let's assume there exists some kind of anomaly creature capable of sensing people's emotions, especially romantic feelings. ^^ Naturally, this little supernatural talent earned you the title of Cupid.
And of course, you were not about to let such a useful ability go to waste. If you're good at something, never do it for free.
So you made up your mind and started a service within Darkwick Campus: 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒇𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒂𝒅𝒗𝒊𝒄𝒆.
Lovebirds, students with crushes, hopeless romantics, people down catastrophically bad for someone, everyone was welcome. Rates varied depending on how desperate the client was.
Business was booming.
Then one day, while minding your own business and reviewing next week's bookings, you noticed some very, very, very familiar handwriting.
Now, you're a professional who follows procedures and protocols very strictly.
Some clients are shy, so one of your services is the 𝑨𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝑩𝒐𝒙.
Students can either:
Submit concerns and receive personalized advice.
Pour their hearts out to their crushes anonymously.
Publicly embarrass themselves in writing while paying you for the privilege.
Honestly, reading some of these gives you a toothache.
Half the people writing in seem less interested in advice and more interested in finding excuses to show off how in love they are.
But business is business.
𝑨𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝑪𝒐𝒏𝒇𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝑩𝒐𝒙. 𝑨𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒚𝒎𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝒄𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔.
The funny thing is that most people don't know that no matter how sneaky or secretive they think they are, you can always tell exactly who wrote each letter ₍ᐢ._.ᐢ₎♡ ༘
Whenever you pick up a letter, you can see the lovely aura surrounding it.
Don't worry, though. Your clients' secrets are always safe with you. Teehee.
ft. [REDACTED FOR PRIVACY REASONS]
Part one - Part two - Part three
𝐅𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭
Ugh. This guy again.
Why does he keep threatening to shut down your business?
"Based on my research regarding your service, there appears to be no documented guarantee concerning privacy protection, data retention policies or procedural safeguards. Therefore, I would like to request a direct meeting in order to discuss the operational structure of your business in greater detail."
A second letter from the exact same person arrives shortly afterward.
"Is it strategically advisable to pursue a romantic interest who is simultaneously a business associate? Please provide a comprehensive list of advantages and disadvantages supported by empirical evidence, statistical analysis, and quantifiable data.
Advantages: They smiled at me today.
Disadvantages: The smile was not directed exclusively at me.
I am experiencing what I believe to be jealousy.
Is this reaction considered normal?"
𝑪𝒖𝒑𝒊𝒅:
Bro! Stop sending regulatory threats to my confession box.
I'm literally just running a small business.
Are you some kind of rival service?
Because that is extremely uncool.
That's unfair competition and I will sue you if you threaten me again.
I have a lawyer friend who charges 5,000 per hour, and trust me, he is not nice.
𝑪𝒖𝒑𝒊𝒅:
But I'm still a professional, so I'll answer your question.
It depends on the nature of your business relationship.
Personally, I would never date a coworker. That sounds like a Human Resources incident waiting to happen.
And yes, what you're experiencing is completely normal. Jealousy tends to happen when you like someone, especially when they are friendly with other people.
My advice is to spend more time with this person and observe how they view you.
Do they see you as a business associate? A friend? Or something more?
Currently, the available data set is insufficient for further analysis.
Please submit additional evidence.
𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭
Anonymous Name: Definitely Not Overthinking This
"This is stupid. Why am I even writing this?
Maybe you won't even read mine anyway. I heard you have a lot of clients.
Is it considered a good sign if they accept my invitations to watch movies and play co-op games together?
I see them hanging out with other people too, so maybe it doesn't actually mean anything."
The next letter arrives looking like it lost a fight against itself.
Crossed-out sentences. Half-finished thoughts. Words scribbled over each other. The paper is practically screaming.
You assume he was panicking when he shoved it into the box.
"I don't know how this works. I just...
And I thought maybe th
Wait, no.
That's stupid.
This is stupid.
Never mind.
Actually, can I request a refund?
Do you do refunds?"
𝑪𝒖𝒑𝒊𝒅:
Dude.
The important part is not whether they accepted. Anybody can accept an invitation.
What matters is whether they enjoy spending time with you.
Ask them out more often. The fact that they already accept your invitations is a positive sign.
Maybe make the next outing a little more romantic.
Pick a romance movie.
Watch their reactions.
Gather evidence.
Conduct research.
Become the scientist your feelings deserve.
𝑪𝒖𝒑𝒊𝒅:
Also, I do not provide refunds unless you actually follow my advice and fail.
Stop being a coward. Ask them out again. Come back with updates.
Then we'll discuss compensation.
𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐝 𝐀𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭
Anonymous Name: Third Wheel Victim Association
"Is there a way to stop them from constantly inviting one of our mutual friends whenever we hang out?
I keep trying to arrange plans with just the two of us, but somehow my friend always ends up coming along.
And he always manages to draw their attention away from me.
I love my friend, but this is becoming increasingly frustrating.
What if he manages to win them over before I can?"
𝑪𝒖𝒑𝒊𝒅:
Wow. Jealousy is such an ugly color.
Anyway.
I think you should talk to your friend.
Based on your letter, he sounds completely unaware of your feelings.
If he knew, he might actually help create opportunities for the two of you to spend time alone. Friends can be surprisingly supportive.
Now, regarding your crush...
Have you ever considered the possibility that they might actually like your friend?
Anonymous:
!!!!!! NO !!!!!
𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐀𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭
Anonymous Name: Brutally Honest Customer
"Despite operating a love advice service, you are remarkably dense and unintelligent when it comes to romance yourself."
𝑪𝒖𝒑𝒊𝒅:
EXCUSE ME?!
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO INSULT ME AND MY BUSINESS LIKE THAT?
IF PHYSICALLY BLOCKING CLIENTS WERE LEGAL, YOU WOULD ALREADY BE GONE.
Take your money back.
I refuse to be paid for emotional harassment. Go away.
𝐅𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐡 𝐀𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐂𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭
Anonymous Name: In Emotional Distress
"Never thought the day would come when I would need this service. No offense.
I'm just stuck.
They seem nice to me. Whenever I ask them to try my special dishes as an excuse to spend time together, they always agree.
But I think they only like my food, not me.
I wonder what they think of me.
If I'm being honest, they even seem closer to my best friend."
𝑪𝒖𝒑𝒊𝒅:
Hold on.
You can cook?
That's a massive advantage.
Do you realize how many people would willingly fall in love for homemade food alone?
Don't give up. Have some faith in yourself. Keep inviting them out.
The fastest route to someone's heart is through their stomach. That's science. Probably.
I'm cheering for you from the sidelines.
After answering every letter and dispensing your professional wisdom, you finally went to bed.
The next morning, you woke up to your phone vibrating nonstop.
Notifications. Messages. Date invitations. More date invitations. And even more date invitations.
From several very familiar ghouls.
Oops.
You completely forgot something.
Your ability allows you to see everyone else's love aura. It does not allow you to see your own. And people who share mutual feelings possess the same aura.
𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫
... Wait.
Did you just spend an entire afternoon teaching these idiots how to successfully court you?
Well. That certainly explains the sudden increase in customer satisfaction.
