#tlh textpost

[astriefer]

Cordelia: *runs away with Matthew to Paris to sort her thoughts and get over James, the person she loves most it the world and has been fake married to*

James: *found out he loves Cordelia after being married to her for a few weeks and breaking down an enchanted bracelet that made him think he's in love with Grace*

Alastair: *takes a deep breath* *sips tea* *screams*

[astriefer]

Alastair: Thomas and I are dating.

Matthew: Our Thomas? Don't make me laugh. You are more compatible with a tree!

Thomas: *raises his hand* I'm a tree.

[astriefer]

*on a social network*

Thomas: WHAT DO I DO IF MY COUSIN SWALLOWED A LED BRACELET?

James: Alexander did what??

Cordelia: why would you give a 3yo toddler to play with a led baraclet??

Thomas: ...

Thomas: It's Christopher.

[astriefer]

Cordelia: What's worse, breaking up with Thomas or losing your spears?

Alastair: *sweats and glances at Thomas* I don't like this game

[astriefer]

Matthew: Alastair is a nasty serpent.

Cordelia: *smiles scarily* Matthew, have you ever heard of the unspoken siblings' code?

Cordelia: The only, and only people allowed to insult your siblings is you. Everyone else trying to do it will be killed in bare hands.

Cordelia: You might not have a brother worth enforcing the code, but listen to me when I say if I hear another word from you on my brother you will mourn all your waistcoats the next day.

Matthew: *terrified* You can't seriously mean it-

Cordelia: *takes Cortana out* Watch me.

[astriefer]

Alastair: People always get the impression I don't like them being around me.

Thomas: And is it wrong?

Alastair: ...No.

[astriefer]

Alastar: why are you always like that?

Thomas: *shyly smiles at Alastair* like what?

Alastair: *blushes furiously* like THAT. Stop that right now!

[astriefer]

Alastair: You don't need to kill my vibe I'm killing it myself 😎