#tmwabbnh

[unfortunatetheorist]

i’ve got several questions:

why did mr poe know the baudelaire children were at the beach? why was he, a banker, put in charge of their custody arrangements instead of just their fortune? for that matter, why did the bank have a whole division dedicated to orphan affairs? it may just be one of those snicket things, but it’s also quite fun because the older i get and the harder i think, it makes me distrust poe on a much deeper level

Hello @clairyclue, thank you for the ask!

I know there are other theories out there about this, most commonly @snicketsleuth (https://www.tumblr.com/snicketsleuth/154151062645/did-vfd-interfere-with-mr-poes-selection-of?source=share; http://snicketsleuth.tumblr.com/post/152175527620/did-mr-poe-forge-the-baudelaire-parents-last) but I have a theory of my own that sort of pieces "everything" (different things) together, but in order to be clear, your questions must be answered backwards:

1. The bank has a whole division/department of Orphan Affairs because... I don't know.

"You should never be afraid to admit you don't know something" ~ J.S.

Let us, for now, consider it a quirk of the Snicketverse.

2. Mr Poe, a banker, was put in charge of the Baudelaires' custody arrangements as well as their fortune, because he was executor of the Baudelaire parents' estate. He handled the will of Beatrice and Bertrand, which stated the terms of the Baudelaires' adoption.

3. Mr Poe knew the children were at Briny Beach because (credit to... someone I can't remember for theorising:) he was a pawn used by both sides of the V.F.D. schism, to do their bidding.

4. Fandom theory (again, likely @snicketsleuth/ @snicketstrange; I swear I've seen it somewhere before but my memory's failing me as I write this) states that Lemony delivered this news to Mr Poe - I believe Lemony told Jacquelyn, who then told Mr Poe. Jacquelyn likely knew Lemony was alive as Lemony was close to Duchess R., who is related.

5. Alternatively, The Sinister Duo told Mr Tamerlane (try and hunt on my blog for details about them being Tamerlane's boss) about the Baudelaire fire and subsequently forced Mr Poe onto the case. It's likely they were watching Olaf as he Yessica-Haircut his way in to guardianship.

Hope it helps; if not, let me know.

~ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph

[xaoh-f-goon]

the Sinister Duo drink aqueous martinis 

[unfortunatetheorist]

Happy Snicket Sunday! The Slippery Slope! My first Snicket book! It's time for Sunny Baudelaire syndrome, my beloved Quigley Quagmire, Verse Fluctuation Declaration, Verdant Flammable Devices, Snow Gnats, Snow Scouts, and men and women with auras of menace and various hairstyles and facial ornamentations. Oh, and headquarters! Can you tell this is one of my favorites? So many good things and bits of worldbuilding to dig into today.

@snicketsundays

Hello @snicketsundays / @drowninginredink,

I know I've been somewhat late these last few posts — sorry about this slippery slope I've been on!

Like handshakes, house pets and raw carrots many things are less preferable when slippery; the least preferable slippery thing, of course, is a slope.

I love that opening simile. House pets as well 😂.

...what was I going to s— AAH! MOMMY! DADDY!

The introduction of The Man With a Beard but No Hair and The Woman with Hair but No Beard is easily (one of, if not) the single greatest introduction of character(s) into any series. I think this is because it comes at a point when we, the readers/viewers, who are following (forced to follow, one could argue) the narrative from the Baudelaires' perspective, have already established that Olaf is this vile fiend who is willing to go to lengths of murder and arson...

...just to illegally earn (admittedly, a LOT more) money. All the acts we see him perform, both off-stage and on, are sometimes legal parts of a grand illegal scheme.

To then find someone who SCARES the murderer arsonist who's just been described... yeah, when Lemony said they have an aura of menace he was not kidding. There is a theory that they're Gifford and Ghede from ATWQ; the logic for this theory makes sense, I think.

I like the build-up to Quigley's reveal, especially the Vertical Flame Diversion. The VFD codes from the Baudelaires to Quigley and back again are also quite fun to watch. Makes me feel like I'm around my friends.

*sighs in ASOUE fandom*

Then there's...ahem, that moment (ft. Lemony giving them privacy!), followed by Esmé's... whatever that was. Something about skinning the children alive being the second worst thing she's done in a hot tub.

I dread to think of the first.

MUSH, MUSH! MUSH! MUSH, MUSH! MUSH!

Carmelita being forced to be 100% democratically elected (in a vote which is not in any way rigged whatsoever) crowned False Spring Queen, then being adopted by Esmé—

I think Carmelita was the last straw in Olaf and Esmé's already deteriorating relationship. Esmé saw an opportunity whereas Olaf saw a nuisance.

The reveal of 'Quigleforth Quagmire' to the villains is still hilarious, to this day. What, one may argue, is even more hilarious is the fact that they all think the Sugar Bowl is close when it's just chilling (rather literally) in Anwhistle Aquatics!

Let's be honest, though — those eagle-controlling whistles look amazing. I'd like to not consider myself a villain, but I'd love one of those.

But to kidnap a bunch of Snow Scouts... for money? Really?

I don't understand why they couldn't just, from their perspective, played the manipulation game: slowly but surely bankrupted every 'noble' VFD member, swindled them out of their entire fortune.

Then again, the Baudelaire fortune is small potatoes. Even though Olaf is pretty sure it's money.

At least Sunny got the chance to:

a) stay alive, not dying at the hands of TWWHBNB.

b) bond with Fernald during her time in captivity.

c) shout "ROSEBUD!" as she shoved the sled towards Olaf, a reference to Citizen Kane, referenced in TRR

Then the dream couple separates! Noooooooooo!!!!

Very lovely indeed,

~ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph

P.S. I do have a theory somewhere, on this mess that is my blog, about what the motto is emblazoned on the (iron?) arch of the VFD HQ.

[unfortunatetheorist]

Where were the Poe family during Olaf's trial? (NCT)

A Confusing Contradiction: If "everyone who's ever met the Baudelaires was invited" to Olaf's trial (at the Hotel Denouement)...

...where were the Poe family? Why do we never see them?

This problem, I believe, has a somewhat ominous solution:

We know from The Penultimate Peril: Part 2, that the Daily Punctilio writes such nonsense to the extent that Mr Poe, husband of leading journalist/editor-in-chief, knows it's "hogwash".

Hmm... let's see. Starting with the last time we see each known member of the Poe family:

N.B. As this is a Netflix-Canon Theory, I will take the Poe family to have 4 members, as the role of 'Polly Poe' (wife) and 'Eleanora Poe' (sister) have been combined in the show to form Eleanora Poe, wife of Mr Poe.

Arthur Poe:

- Well, we see Mr Poe at the Hotel; after all, his appearance causes the Baudelaires to accidentally kill Dewey Denouement.

Eleanora Poe:

- The last time we see Mrs Poe is during the events of The Vile Village, when she's trying to hunt down the Baudelaires

Edgar Poe:

- In The Bad Beginning, eating parboil chicken or arguing with his brother or something.

Albert Poe:

- Also in The Bad Beginning, also eating parboil chicken or arguing with his brother or something.

However, in The Bad Beginning, Lemony notes something important: "One of the brothers Poe followed his father into the world of banking".

Which one, you ask? My money's on Edgar. Maybe this is just my perspective, but Edgar seems a little more loved than Albert by their parents.

My theory is as follows:

Eleanora Poe starts becoming aware (probably by the events of ≈ middle of The Slippery Slope) that the authorities may have cottoned on to her false reporting, so she starts to slowly lose her steady income.

Now, Lemony does the one thing he's become rather infamous for on the fandom: not lying, but omitting the truth; one thing Lemony does not say is when the banking brother took up office, as it were.

Eleanora is now solely reliant on Arthur's income. But: She must stay at home, taking refuge from the ruthless press/paparazzi, or be caught red-handed as a false reporter.

However, this was also a V.F.D. gathering: I believe that Mr Poe brought Edgar into the banking world (probably as an apprentice) so that he is making money by the time the trial comes in order to bribe The Sinister Duo to, more-or-less, 'get out of the trial free'.

This would explain why we don't see Eleanora until Lemony's reveal of her jailing in The End, and why one of the Village of Fowl Devotees Elders (I think her name is Jemima) knows about Mrs Poe's atrocities. It also links to my theory that The Sinister Duo are Mr Tamerlane's bosses.

What a weird and wonderful blog I have,

~ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph, Unfortunate Theorist/Snicketologist

[unfortunatetheorist]

What made The Sinister Duo take a liking to Esmé (during The Slippery Slope)? - NCT

This has been something I've been thinking about quite recently - what was it about Esmé that compelled The Sinister Duo to act the way they did towards her?

We obviously know that Esmé had told The Duo about her despicable acts of The Ersatz Elevator... but what if she told them more? What if she told them all about what happened between her and Olaf, every step of the way, from TEE to TSS?

Assuming this to be true, we get the following theory:

THEORY: The Duo manipulated Esmé into breaking up with Olaf.

Here's a few points about this:

The Duo and Esmé BOTH want the sugar bowl for the same reason - power. Olaf, however, has tunnel-vision on the Baudelaire (and, to an extent, Quagmire) fortune(s) and fails to recognise the importance of the Sugar Bowl.

The Duo get Esmé to agree with them on this point - and it works:

The Duo use the common ideology/goal of the Sugar Bowl to get Esmé to FOCUS on the Sugar Bowl, and GET RID OF OLAF - The Duo convince Esmé to see their point [which she does in TPP] - Olaf is of no use - in trying to get the Sugar Bowl AND as a fire-starting member of The Schism.

In The Penultimate Peril, Esmé realises the 'value' of The Duo's words, as she finally dumps Olaf.

Interestingly, this makes it VERY clear that The Duo can read (and predict) the emotions of others like a book; this is something they use to their advantage: they know Esmé is disappointed and angry with Olaf and Olaf is angry with himself; he's trying and failing to please his girlfriend, and he takes his anger out on the Baudelaires, which we really see during the 'shouty bit' of TGG:

"YES, I KNOW YOU WANT THE SUGAR BOWL! I'M GOING TO FIND IT FOR YOU, I PROMISE!" - Olaf to Esmé, TGG

¬ Th3r3534rch1ngr4ph, Unfortunate Theorist/Snicketologist