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stozier in....Shrek au. :)

sarah bc i love you i thought about this at length when casting them as specific characters and it’s the worst thing i have had to do, shrek-related, since i made the grick post... anyway i hope u like this fhsjdjsj this is so niche

“Wait,” Stan says, and his head is pounding as he tries to recontextualise everything he knows in light of what’s happening right now, “wait, when you said that about ogres, you meant...?” and he knows he looks gormless, he knows that his jaw is slack and expression confused, but it’s just—it’s a lot, okay, to pick up a prince from a dragon-infested castle to deliver him to some irritating Lady just so she’ll leave your swamp the fuck alone, and then to find out he’s the most annoying person on earth, and then to find out you actually like spending time with him, even though all he does is imitate royals you’ve literally never met (admittedly, to make you laugh) and antagonise dangerous people you meet on the roads back to the castle because he simply cannot shut up, and then to hear him (late at night, when you’re pacing back and forth by his cave, shitty flowers in your hands because you think they’ll look pretty in his hair, and what the fuck is this feeling) say to bill that nobody could ever love an ogre, and then to find out, at his fucking wedding, that maybe he didn’t mean you... well, it’s a lot, and Stan thinks he’s handling it very well, all things considered.

“I’m a prince, Stan,” Richie says helplessly, desperately, “and who could ever love a monster like this?” and he must see the way Stan’s face shuts down, because then he’s saying, “no, stop, fuck you, shut up, that doesn’t apply to you, don’t you see, don’t you see that it’s me that’s wrong for being like this, it’s me—”

“You realise that makes no sense,” Stan says, but something in his chest feels lighter, because while there are definitely some double standards and self hatred to unpack there, Richie’s sheer conviction when insisting it doesn’t apply to Stan makes him think that maybe they have a chance, that maybe Richie cares too, and— “Look,” Richie says, interrupting Stan’s thoughts, “can we maybe have this argument later when we don’t have Lady Keene’s entire fucking castle and wedding party trying to murder us for being, y’know, what we are?” and, yeah, Stan glances around, sees murder and hatred and fear in the eyes around them, and thinks he can table the discussion for a couple of hours.

send me a pairing & an au & i’ll write you a 3 sentence ficlet (currently loosest definition of the word sentence bc these aus are Wild but hopefully i will return to correct sentence structure at some point in life)!