#to reference later

[happylilthought]

One shot idea Alex and Charlie go to a drag show

[drag--me-down]

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Consider checking it out, even if you don’t want to buy-- and then saving in your ref tag in case you need us later.

[babybroccoli]

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[newyorkcity-whatabeautytooureyes]

Thinking Aloud (for my own private benefit)

I'm going to be okay. I'm not now and I have every right to be. But now will become yesterday and the world turns again, with or without me. I'm allowed to be sad and to express my private feelings. It becomes a problem when others get too involved and I become toxic to them. That's why I'm alone right now. I have made too many destructive choices that have forced me into a scenario where I must take a step back. Though I love them dearly, I can no longer do more help than harm and to love them means to want the best for them. And it's okay that it's not me. If being alone and losing everything is what it takes to show me who I am and who I need to be, then it's what will happen. Being alone sucks but it's not permanent. New people will come into my life who are unaffected by my past choices and mistakes and I can be better with them. I can make it good with them the way it wasn't good before. I can be better. These circumstances now don't define me. It hurts and I'm sad but those are valid feelings I'm allowed to have and so long as I know I'm the only one to blame, I'm okay. I'm entitled to my feelings. My voice still exists even when it's not being used and I need to grasp that concept. I am not entitled to devalue or hurt others. And being who I am, to clarify my feelings, I need to express them. Which is why the title of this post is what it is. It's a phrase I need to keep in my back pocket. It's something I need to say more often because maybe it will help me recognize moments when my opinions are valid and when they are irrelevant to the situation. I wish I didn't put myself in this situation, but I know there's nothing more I can do but keep my distance. However that makes it all the worse when I watch the last 2 of the 5 slowly slip away from me. I know it's for the best. I do. But everyone would be hurt if they saw someone who told them they loved you walk away. It sucks but so does life. You don't ever get to start over, only try again with a different hand of cards. There's so much more I wish I had said to them but I need to recognize that the door is closed now. I see them being happy and I'm glad. Truly. I'm glad to see them happy with no complications. It's like a child who's forced indoors on a sunny day to finish their homework. I need time get my shit together before I bring others in. And in a way, I'm lucky because I'm doing something. I'm working on myself and recognizing areas where I need to improve, then figuring out ways to improve. I'm proud of me. I'm trying, I'm working, I'm doing what I can and that's good. Nobody can take that away from me, no matter how much I depend on other's validation. I'm okay alone. I don't like it but the fact that I'm okay with being alone already shows me so much progress from where I've been. And you know how I know that? Because I started this post in tears. I am currently smiling. It's a small smile, but it's there and it has room to grow. And even now, when I have taken a hard fall, I can still say that I'm happy. The ground is lovely and I think I might stay here a while.

[gayghosttt]

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival. - C.S. Lewis

You find the most fantastic quotes and lyrics ever and this is exactly why you are so rad