title: despair shared is a despair halved (ao3)
pairing: togame jo/endo yamato
summary:
So Togame Jo was the name behind the brute force he just witnessed. Though it’s not as graceful as Takiishi’s fights, there was true strength behind his hits and tackles. And what was Endo if not a worshipper of the strong?
While Takiishi wasn’t around, there shouldn’t be any harm in expanding his tastes a bit, right?
(In which Endo yearns for someone he couldn't have and settles for Togame who was around.
tags: mentions of Umemiya Hajime, one-sided TakiEndo, one-sided TogaTomi, mentions of Tomiyama Choji, sugar baby Endo, Friends With Benefits, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Sakura
i
Bored.
Yamato Endo was helplessly bored.
Summer couldn’t pass by fast enough, and it’s only been two weeks. Takiishi had to leave for a rare out-of-town family trip, and the guy didn’t even inform him how long he’d be away. Not that Takiishi tells him trivial things. He wasn’t the talker of the two, that was Endo’s role. So now, on the last summer before they enter high school, Endo was left to his own devices with no one to entertain himself with.
His wandering feet brought him to a part of town they didn’t usually end up in – the local garden park. After all, Takiishi has no interest in these areas – all low-lying, flat, and nowhere to stand tall from.
Colorful lanterns and streamers hang on strings all around, and people are busily bustling about. Right, it’s festival season. He remembered going with Takiishi last year, but the other boy didn’t seem to like the crowd. They went back home even before nightfall and watched the fireworks from afar on top of their apartment building.
It seems he’d be watching the fireworks alone for the first time in a long while.
He strolled aimlessly around the park, peeking at the food and game stalls and finding nothing interesting in particular. After a while, he ended up at the other end of the park where a stone path leads to a woody trail. He followed the trail, deciding to just go back home once he reaches end, until he eyed a group of boisterous men hanging around deeper into the thicket, passing around a lighter, puffs of smoke coming from within their group. They seem to be made of the same mold with the guys he and Takiishi liked to clash with. Suddenly, a mischievous idea formed in his head.
Endo continued walking, but this time, towards that group of men. This part of the park only had a narrow, cemented pathway, and the group was basically blocking it. When Endo finally reached them, he intentionally hit one of the men with his elbow, then exaggeratedly stepped back with a feigned expression of surprise.
“Oops, sorry man,” he raised his arms up as if to announce surrender, but a mocking smile was already on his lips. “Didn’t see you there.”
The guy he bumped into easily saw through his provocation, stepping forward to close the distance between them. “Think you’re so tough, kid?”
Endo shrugged, throwing the group a smug smile. “Why don’t you try me?”
Whoosh!
The guy quickly threw a punch in, but he was still a beat too slow that Endo saw it coming. Endo easily swerved out of the way, grabbed the man’s arm, twisted it around his back, and kicked him face-first to the ground. The man yelped in pain, his cheek bloody from being scratched from the hard ground.
“You bastard!”
“Hey!” Suddenly, someone shouted from behind. “What are you doing?”
Everyone turned their attention to the newcomer. Endo looked up and found another boy about his age frowning at their direction. He donned a red robe with the logo of a taiyaki sown on the right chest, and a bandana that held his noticeably wavy hair within it.
“Is this boy your friend?” One of the men pointed a rigid thumb towards Endo’s direction.
Endo, on his part, showed the newcomer a weak smile as if to say, “I’m the victim here.”
“No,” the boy answered, “But it doesn’t mean I won’t intervene here. Aren’t you ashamed of bullying a kid when you’re all grown men? Causing up a ruckus on festival grounds.”
The boy spoke at a pace slower than most people, but there was a certain air of authority in each word that left his mouth. He successfully drew all their attention as he walked closer, his wooden sandals clacking against the rocky pathway.
“Kids these days are so cocky,” one of the men commented. “Don’t come crying to mommy when you get hit, boy.”
The group of thugs came at them all at once. Endo was just about to get in position, but suddenly, he felt a swift rush of wind next to him. In a blink of an eye, the boy who just arrived was before him, fighting the group all on his own. Though many of the men were bigger than him, it didn’t seem to impede his ability to take them on. With an efficient combination of tackles and kicks, he was able to fight back and knock them down, even if he had to take hits himself. Endo wanted to help, but it seemed like he would only disrupt the new guy’s flow if he did. He had no choice but to watch as the group fell one by one, until it was only the boy left standing.
When everyone else was knocked out, or pretending to, he finally turned to Endo’s direction, “Are you okay?”
“No, man, are you okay? You’re the one who took their hits!”
The boy scratched the bridge of his prominent nose, not even bothering to wipe away the trickle of blood from where one of the men scratched his cheeks with his ring. “It’s nothing, I received worse.”
“I don’t think I got your name. I’m Yamato Endo.” He stretched out a hand, a strip of band-aid he had fished out from his pockets already between his fingers. “Here, for the wound.”
“Thanks,” the boy took the band-aid and expertly covers his wound with it, as if he’d been to countless fights before and have had to take care of himself right after. “Togame Jo.”
So Togame Jo was the name behind the brute force he just witnessed. Though it’s not as graceful as Takiishi’s fights, there was true strength behind his hits and tackles.
And what was Endo if not a worshipper of the strong?
While Takiishi wasn’t around, there shouldn’t be any harm in expanding his tastes a bit, right?
“Can I treat you to a meal around here? As a gesture of thanks.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I have to work.” He points at the logo on his chest. Now Endo could read the store name clearly – Taiyaki Paradise. “If you buy from our stall, that’d be enough for me.”
Endo spotted Togame later, serving dozens of people at a speed that would earn one a sufficient yelling from an impatient customer. But with his droopy-eyed and amicable smile, he seemed to be the calm reprieve in such a busy place. At this space, people lost the sense of rush and enjoyed the mix of scents wafting through the air. Every taiyaki sold was served with a gentle nod, and Endo couldn’t believe this was the same boy throwing grown men on the ground just a while ago.
Just then, a foreign-looking woman approached the stall and spoke to Togame. Confusion immediately befell his face. Endo found the chance to become the ‘savior’ this time.
He strode towards the stall. The woman was now attempting to construct a coherent sentence in a mix of English and Japanese, and Togame’s face just even more grew frozen from the confusion. The old man he was working for who probably know even less English already took over with serving the rest of the customers, leaving the poor boy to deal with the foreigner alone.
“Excuse me,” Endo stepped in, fluent English pouring from his lips. Both Togame and the woman looked at him in gratefulness, “may I help you instead?”
“She’s asking if the taiyaki got any type of nuts,” Endo relayed to Togame, “She’s deadly allergic to it.”
“Oh…no, there’s nothing of the sort.”
Endo told this to the woman, and then, “She’s ordering three.”
“Okay.”
Finally, Togame was able to serve the foreigner, and she left with a satisfied smile, chewing on the freshly made, nut-free taiyaki.
“Thanks for the help,” Togame turned to Endo with a relieved expression. “You saved me back there.”
“It’s nothing,” Endo waved his hand, “Can’t even compare it with your help earlier.”
“Are you here to buy from us then?”
At this point of the festival, the stream of people has become even more prominent, and the line for the taiyaki was starting to grow. Endo’s got nothing else to do. He was supposed to return home before that small fight broke out. He could pass time with this one.
“Got any space for an extra worker? Free of charge.”
Over the next two days of the festival, Endo spent it helping at the taiyaki stall, much to Togame’s surprise. The old man who owned the stall couldn’t be happier with the free service. He shared that he didn’t have much, and Togame was already working for him below the usual rates other stall workers ask from owners.
“I’m glad this boy could make friends with such a nice young man like you.”
Once out of earshot, Togame came closer to Endo.
“I’m sorry about Takeda-san. I hope he’s not imposing or anything, we’re not friends so don’t feel obliged about staying.”
“Eh? You hurt me,” Endo dramatically placed a hand over his chest, his jaw open in exaggerated shock, “I thought we have something going on here.
Togame looked at Endo then with wide eyes. In that instant, Endo completed the picture of Togame’s personality in his mind: strong but aloof, someone with fists without anyone to protect. A loner.
“Don’t tell me you got no friends?”
“Speak for yourself,” Togame was suddenly defensive, stepping back to busy himself on heating the taiyaki molds, “You’ve been hanging around here.”
“My friend’s away for a trip.”
“Only got one?”
“Look who’s talking.”
One by one, Togame pours the batter in the fish-shaped molds, a somber expression forming on his face. “It’s hard for me to make friends. And I’d rather not waste my time trying. I’m fine by myself.”
Endo started placing the fillings within each mold, moving like an expert when he was just hired yesterday. “That’s what I thought, too, you know. I never really got along with other kids. It just isn’t fun. Until I met Takiishi. He’s real strong, and when he fights it’s just the most beautiful thing. I take on the small fry for him so he can put his everything against the strongest, because really, that’s when he shines the most. And I just absolutely love watching it all go down.”
“You like him a lot, don’t you, that friend?”
Endo realized he had gone overboard again rambling about Takiishi. It’s not like he’s embarrassed about it, but when he drew his attention back to Togame, Togame was looking at him with a soft expression that suddenly made him self-conscious. “Yeah…he’s one of a kind.”
“Good for you that you have someone like that in your life.”
Good for me? That was a weird way to put it. But Endo supposed, getting hit from time to time was more than worth it for the chance of witnessing him in battle.
But being around Takiishi didn’t mean having him. Yet only Takiishi would satisfy his desires. So until he could have Takiishi, Endo could only cast his net outside, hoping for someone to fill the gap, even just for a while.
ii
The next time Endo saw Togame, he was fresh out of Furin and on a mission to gather strong fighters around him. But, of course, he wasn’t just gathering anybody – not only should they be strong, but they should also carry with them a piece of Takiishi’s color. If he’s to surround himself with people, they better be someone tolerable to have around, don’t they?
Now, Togame was strong, but he couldn’t be any more different than Takiishi. Where Takiishi was the fire that could raze down an entire forest, Togame was the still pond in the middle of a stone garden.
Yet, strength is strength. Endo could at least make one exception.
He found him once more in the local garden park, just about time for this year’s summer festival. Endo almost did not recognize him. Togame seemed to have hit another growth spurt from the last time they met. But he still carried that usual air of laxness. That part of him has obviously not changed a bit.
“Join me.”
Togame was unfolding two lanterns on the stall when Endo unceremoniously stopped by, dropping an invitation without any form of context or whatsoever. He was frowning when he looked up, but upon seeing it was Endo, his face smoothed out with a small smile.
“Hey, long time no see. Join you for what?”
“I’m gathering strong people, someone like you. Only thing you need to do is win our fights. What do you say?”
“Ah, you’re a bit too late with your invitation.” Togame hung one of the fish-shaped lanterns on the corner of the store banner, its body seemingly swimming in the gentle breeze.
“What do you mean?”
“I just joined another team recently. Shishitoren.”
Shishitoren beat him to Togame? Well, damn it. Here he was thinking he had found himself a diamond in the rough that won’t be discovered anytime soon. And it had to be Shishitoren out of everyone else. If he had stayed in Furin, they would have probably clashed sooner than later.
“Any chance of poaching you? You get extra benefits if you switch over to me.”
Togame laughed through his nose, “And what would that have been?”
“I dunno. What do you want?”
“Am I that valuable that I can negotiate with you?” Togame took another fish-shaped lantern laying on the nearby table and handed it to Endo. “Help me with this?”
“Look, man, I just want to achieve my goals easier.” Endo took the lantern and hung it opposite to the one Togame had just put up. “A strong fighter like you would be a big help for me.”
“What’s your goal?”
“What do you mean?”
“Shishitoren calls themselves devotees of power. They’re a bit rowdy, but they’re clear on what they want to do. To reach the top, to be free, they swore to persevere and never back down in front of anything. Sounds cool, isn’t it?”
“Sounds like a fantasy to me,” Endo pursed his lips, scrunching his nose at the soppiness of some groups in this town.
“Well, why do you fight?”
Why indeed. By himself, Endo just usually found himself in the middle of trouble, pissing off older kids just because he looked at them a bit funny. But with Takiishi, a fight was something he specifically sought out, something he engineers, so that Takiishi could unleash the heavenly fire residing in his body and Endo could witness it all in its glory. There really wasn’t some big goal like what that Umemiya kept yapping about, nor an abstract desire to be free like Shishitoren.
At the end of it all, “It’s all just for Takiishi.”
Togame nodded, remembering the name Endo had praised unprovoked from their last meeting. “I understand, but I don’t think I can put my heart into fighting under such rationale.”
“Can’t believe I’m losing my touch.” Endo finally conceded, shaking his head. “Who the hell managed to convince you to join Shishitoren? I know those guys, you don’t feel like one of them.”
Just then, Togame’s expression morphed into something familiar, “There’s this new friend I made. Tomiyama Choji. He’s real strong, and there’s just something about him that makes joining Shishitoren much better.”
And that tone of voice. It’s almost like hearing himself talk about Takiishi. He’s afraid he had no chance to convert Togame from the very beginning.
“Guess I’ll see you out there. Don’t lose to anybody before me, got it?”
In a few weeks, Shishitoren’s reputation steadily grew in town, and along it were the names Tomiyama Choji and Togame Jo.
iii
Downpour greeted Endo on his way home. His gaze lazily followed down the droplets rolling against the car window. The woman on the driver’s seat had been on the phone since they left the hotel, leaving Endo to entertain himself. It worked in his favor, of course. After entertaining her for a whole night, the chance to disengage during the trip from the hotel back to his own apartment helps him better compartmentalize this specific aspect of his life. Sensible adults would probably frown upon knowing the shit he’s getting himself into, the more responsible ones would probably be concerned and raise the matter to proper authorities.
But who cares, really?
He’s grown indifferent to it, and Takiishi doesn’t even bat an eye when he disappears for a night or two. He’d be lying if he said he’s not getting his own share of fun, and the material and monetary rewards after were more than enough to support his and Takiishi’s lifestyle. Everything was fine as it was.
Except when it feels that it wasn’t.
Recently, Endo had been learning how relevant the concept of hierarchy of needs was in his life.
“Oh, what a poor kid. Why’s he letting himself get drenched like that?”
The woman’s remark pulled back Endo from his spiraling thoughts, and his eyes caught a familiar posture and shade of orange. It’s Togame.
“Wait, I know this guy… hey, I’m getting off here.”
“You sure?” The woman covered the phone’s mouthpiece, the call still going up until now. “We’re only a few streets away from your place.”
“Yeah, don’t mind me…You have an umbrella I can borrow?”
With a wave and a promise to meet next time, the car drove away, leaving Endo some meters behind Togame, who seemed to be so deep in thought that he had no sense of awareness of his surroundings. His head remained down, his steps slow and purposeless. Endo caught up to him in a few strides, umbrella in tow.
“Oi, Togame.” It took a few seconds before Togame acknowledged his presence, turning to him. The rims of his eyes seemed red and puffy. Was he crying? “You look like shit.”
“…What are you doing here?”
“Saw you on the way home…Why don’t you come with me and dry up, yeah?”
Surprisingly, Togame yielded to his suggestion, giving a defeated nod.
“I haven’t seen you since you joined Shishitoren, how many months has it been? You’ve become quite famous. I was even looking forward fighting against you.”
Endo had been filling the silence the whole time that he was parched by the end. Togame’s gaze remained trained on the ground, even until they reached Endo’s apartment. It seemed that Takiishi was out on his own. Usually, he would return at night, giving Endo the privacy to host Togame for a while.
“Come in, I’ll get you a towel.”
“…Thanks.”
Endo quickly ran to the bathroom and grabbed the nearest towel at hand. Togame was still by the doorway when he returned, looking lost within the confines of the apartment. He looked really pitiful right now, but Endo couldn’t find it in him to make light of this situation.
“Here you go. Let’s sit you somewhere. The couch’s all fabric, can’t get them wet or else Takiishi would be mad at me.” Endo led the way to next room where the kitchen and dining area were at. Finally, Togame settled down on one of the chairs with the towel draped over his head. “That Tomiyama you told me about last time, he’s the new leader of Shishitoren, isn’t he?”
“Yeah.”
“Is…he related to why you’re out there drenched?”
Togame turned his head away then, refusing to answer. Endo hit right on the mark. Bored as he was, he might as well dig further and get information about the new Shishitoren.
“Tell me. You’re already here anyway, and it’s still pouring outside. Let’s hear you out while we pass the time, yeah? Wait, I’ll just grab something to drink.”
He made his way to the fridge and grabbed two cans of beer, just among the many perks of being involved with adult women. Takiishi doesn’t like beer though, so it’s all on Endo to drink them. Naturally, they’ve just been accumulating at the bottom of the fridge, waiting for the perfect moment to be drank. Today was one of those moments.
“Here,” Endo placed an opened can in front of Togame.
“I don’t—”
“You will. Should help you warm up and loosen up, okay?”
Togame unwillingly took the can, taking a few sips, his face contorting to an expression of distaste. He didn’t look like he abhorred it, though. Endo took a swig right after from his own can, all too familiar with the sensation of alcohol running down his throat.
“So?”
“Ha…where do I even begin?”
“Why don’t you start from since the last time we saw each other?”
Togame started slow, seemingly having a hard time grasping the right words to use. Endo observed that he was trying not to put Tomiyama in a negative light. Well, no, that wasn’t completely right. The more Togame drank, the more words spilled out, and the more Endo understood that Togame just really had no bad things to say about Tomiyama, even if whatever went down at Shishitoren seemed to be that guy’s fault.
“He’s a walking ball of sunshine. Everyone’s just gravitated towards him, everyone’s happier when he’s around. He made Shishitoren better just by being himself…he’s just…in a rough patch right now. Until then, I have my own role to fulfill to keep everything together.”
Takiishi is a walking god, and when he fights the rest of the world disappears, only his glorious form remains. I feel things I haven’t felt before when he’s around, he makes my life so much better just by being around.
Wasn’t it uncanny how their thoughts sound the same?
“You know, when I first met Takiishi, it felt like having my prayers answered. At that moment, I’ve thoroughly believed that gods are real, and Takiishi is one of them.”
Togame looked at him as if he just spoke to him in alien language.
“What I’m saying is, people that we like, we idolize, we put them on a pedestal. We work hard to protect that image in our head that we turn blind to everything else, as long as we get to keep that person within reach. It’s a little selfish, really, but in the end, would it be all worth it?”
“It will be,” Togame muttered under his breath, crushing the can in his fist until it’s nothing but a flat lump of metal, “The sun will be loved. I will make sure of it.”
“Even if it burns you?”
“If I need to.”
Realization dawned on Endo as to why he’s so drawn to Togame – it was like staring into a mirror, seeing another version of himself devoted to a being so divine that he’s lost his sense of self. Wherein his purpose became for that being that has graced his sullen existence.
There’s something comforting about being pathetic alongside another one like you. Something akin to finding a small thread to hold onto in the dark.
Endo reached for it then, for Togame, wrapping his fingers around his wrists and stopping any form of protest from his mouth by taking it in his. In his dreams, there was only one man whom Endo devoted his kisses for. But that’s all what it was, a dream. In the waking world, there was only Togame. He was not Takiishi, but Endo could pretend otherwise.
Then it landed, a square hit to Endo’s cheek. It was different from Takiishi’s usual punches, which completely disrupted the small fantasy he had created in his head.
“What the hell was that for?” Togame growled at him, his usually mellow eyes turning murderous. His wet, disheveled hair made him look even more feral, igniting Endo’s interest on him even more. So, he’s not just the mild-mannered boy who keeps to himself but can pummel down people on his own, there was also a monster within with pains and desires similar to his.
He must keep Togame around.
“Seems like you needed it. Wanted it even.” Endo wiped away the taste of blood from the corner of his lips with a wry smile. It’s been a while since he took a hit from someone that’s not Takiishi. “Look, Togame, you might not believe me, but I understand you. Don’t look at me like that, I’m not being empathetic here. I’m proposing something that benefits us both.”
“Benefit? How?” Even though he still looked pissed, his eyes have already lost its rage, replaced by a somewhat hopeful look. It seemed that he had also realized the existence of the small thread that could provide him the smallest bit of comfort, and he was ready to reach out.
“You and I are both devoted to people we look up to. You with that Tomiyama, me with Takiishi. And as far as I can tell, we’re also both treated like nothing. But we stick around, yeah? Better to suffer than to lose the person. In this world, who else would understand us better than each other? It gets lonely, trust me, I know.”
Endo closed the distance between them once more, each word spoken like a snake slowly wrapping its prey with its own body, until finally, finally, the prey stops resisting and lets itself be consumed.
“What I’m offering is but a small escape from that loneliness.”
iv
A fire does not blaze forever, especially when its fuel had burn through.
Ever since leaving Furin, Takiishi’s blazing fire had been turning to a smolder, and it’s pissing the hell out of Endo. As for what reason was he following Takiishi around for, giving him everything he wanted, if the only thing he desired from Takiishi didn’t even get fulfilled? It could drive a man crazy.
“How about those bastards stationed on the pier? They’re a pretty new group but I heard the guy leading them’s crazy strong.” Ignored.
“Wanna go against Roppo Ichiza on our own? I’m sure that Kanji would give you a good time.” Nothing.
“If only there were more people as strong as that bastard Umemiya—” Finally, a smile.
Takiishi’s eyes shone, his lips curved up, and Endo swore he could see the spark reigniting in his eyes even just at that moment.
Of course, it’s Umemiya.
Endo pretended not to notice. It’s barely been half a year since they left Furin, he did not want to deal with that person too soon. Why did Takiishi have to be hung up over the most annoying person in town? That goofy ass hair and holier-than-thou attitude, speaking as if he’s a messiah sent to clean Furin and Makochi of its sins.
Fuck Umemiya.
Takiishi retired early that night, leaving Endo dealing alone with his frustrations. He should have known better than bring up that name, now he’s the one suffering the consequences.
Thankfully, Togame took the bite and accepted his offer from last time. Endo hasn’t had the chance to call him for a meet-up, and he didn’t think Togame would be the first to reach out anyway. Despite everything, that guy was still a prude whom Endo must taint for his own satisfaction.
After taking a quick shower, Endo sent Togame a message:
> hey, you busy?
Ten minutes passed, and there was still no response.
Endo’s not one to give up though. He pressed the call button. After a few seconds, a familiar voice echoed from the other end of the line.
“What?”
“I sent you a text.”
“Oh, was that you? I don’t check my messages at night.”
“You bastard…Well, are you busy now?”
“…Not really. Why?”
“Let’s meet.”
Silence. Then, “I’m at home.”
“I can go there. Unless your folks are around?”
Another silence. Endo’s starting to get used to this. He gave Togame time to think.
“…Fine. I’ll send my address.”
Thirty minutes later and Endo found himself in front of a traditional-looking house situated near the border of the town. He had notified Togame of his arrival, so he saw him waiting just outside the wooden gate, sporting a new look with his usual loose waves now kept in a low braid. Somehow it gave him an additional air of danger that fit Endo’s tastes just right.
“Cute house.”
“You’re the one who insisted to meet here.”
“Hey, I was being sincere.”
Togame led the way inside, and it was all the bit traditional as it was outside, filled with wooden interiors and bamboo furniture. They walked further until they reached the end of a narrow hallway, where Togame slid open a wooden door, revealing a simple bedroom inside. Endo’s used to spending nights in fancy hotels with women, this…homey setting with another guy would be a first even for him.
“Mind if I use bathroom?”
“Go back and turn left, it’d be on your right side. You won’t miss it.”
“Cool, I’ll see you in a bit.”
Unlike the rest of the house, the bathroom was at least modern in style. For some reason, Endo thought it’d be also made of wood, and it would have made prepping himself kind of awkward. Now that he was here, he took a moment to gather his thoughts. He could get impulsive with his actions after all, and though he was the one who suggested this kind of arrangement with Togame, a part of him was still reluctant, loyal to Takiishi.
But Takiishi wouldn’t care. He must remind himself of that. It’s just the truth, and the sooner he could settle with the truth about Takiishi’s feelings towards him, the better it would be. Just because Takiishi’s fights make him feel euphoric didn’t mean he couldn’t seek for the same kind of high from someone else.
After a while, he returned to the bedroom and found Togame sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting. He looked up as soon as he heard Endo’s footsteps, the prominent point on his neck bobbing up and down as he swallowed.
“Feeling nervous?” Endo teased, taking off his flannel jacket and letting it fall onto the floor.
“Let’s just get this over with.”
“Likewise.” He stepped closer to Togame then, parting his thighs even further with his own knee, resting it just a hair’s breadth away from Togame’s crotch. He pulled out the condom and sachet of lube he had in his pocket and threw it on the bed, ready to be used at a moment's notice.
All the while, Togame’s green eyes never left him, the look of hesitation slowly being washed away by the similar hunger that Endo could feel taking over him. Seducing his partners was not a new thing for him, but he had only been with women before. It gave Endo some sense of pride when he saw that the same tactics seemed to be working on Togame.
Puberty’s done Togame wonders, that Endo could immediately tell as he loosened the knot on Togame’s samue and took it off for him. Shaped muscles have already begun to form on the curves of his body where the softness of childhood would usually amass. Whatever fighting he’s getting himself into in Shishitoren were reflected on his build and from the light scars streaking against his fair skin.
Togame followed suit, grabbing at the hem of Endo’s tank top and pulling it off him. Togame’s calloused fingers hovered on his shoulder, running over the edges of the ishibiya tattoo barely visible from the front. “This is new?”
“Yeah, designed for Takiishi. Figured I’d have it on myself, too.”
“…You’re hopeless.”
“Don’t I know that?” Endo’s fingers found its way towards Togame’s braid, pulling at the elastic holding it together and letting his hair loose. “You look more pissed than usual when I arrived.”
“…Choji’s got a new obsession. Couldn’t stop talking about him all day.”
“A person?”
“Umemiya Hajime.”
“Ah, fuck that guy.”
“You know him?”
“Let’s just say you and I have the same problems. I hate him. Ugh, can we not talk about that bastard? I came here specifically because of him.”
Togame shrugged, “You’re the one who asked.”
Hearing none of it, Endo pushed Togame onto the bed, straddling Togame’s thighs between his knees.
“Top or bottom?”
“What?”
“Do you wanna do the fucking, or do you wanna get fucked?”
For the first time since Endo knew Togame, he witnessed him get flustered. “I…I’ve never done this before.”
“Never mind. I’ll let you fuck me then. Surely, you’d know how that works?”
“Shouldn’t you…prepare yourself first or something?”
Endo raised an eyebrow. “So, you do know your stuff.”
“I don’t live under a rock.”
“Is that so?” Endo reached for Togame’s hand and pulled it towards his own crotch, making him feel his bulge under the tight fabric of his pants, then crouching low, he whispered next to Togame’s ear, “Don’t worry about me. I’ve done my fair share of prep. Just show me what you know. I’ll lead the rest of the way.”
“Fuck!”
Endo’s vision went white as Togame thrusted deep into him one last time, his orgasm spilling into his stomach. Togame stayed inside him for a while, his own breath ragged, and the sensation of being filled up by Togame’s sizable length prevented any other rational thought from forming. They’ve both lost track of time, has it been more than an hour? Truth be told, Endo would want to go for another round, but this rendezvous had already been too long for comfort.
Finally, Togame slowly pulled out and fell back on the bed next to Endo, panting as he caught his breath.
“Not bad for a first time, huh.” Endo remarked breathlessly.
Togame only grunted in response, mind still probably reeling from his own orgasm.
After a while, Endo pulled himself out of bed, unsteadily making his way back to the bathroom to clean himself, leaving Togame laying on the bed to recover.
The mirror revealed bright red streaks across his skin and small bruising marks around his hips. His lips felt especially tender and raw from all the kisses they exchanged. Usually, he hated kissing whenever engaging in casual sex, but once Togame broke away from his initial inhibitions, he devoured him and fucked him like a deprived man.
But the matter of fact was, Togame was one. And so was he. This tryst between the two of them was exactly a temporary salve to satiate each other’s needs, it was within reason to revel in the feeling he gets while doing the act, but there’s no reason to get attached beyond that.
In the end, one major revelation dawned upon him – All this while, he’s the one giving service to all those women. He didn’t realize being on the other end would feel this good. He needed even more now. And he needed it from someone else.
If it’s Takiishi, it would be different.
After cleaning up, Endo went back to the room for his socks and found Togame already standing, putting on a pair of pants. Their eyes met – Togame’s green eyes were somber in the dim light, so much different from the feral gaze he had while fucking him. The difference was almost funny if only remembering that feral gaze did not stir the pit of Endo’s groin again.
“Got what you came for?”
“Yeah.” Time to go.
“Let me see you out.”
The short walk from the room to the gate was quiet, there was no need for them to exchange words of small talk. It’s all casual anyway. But when they reached the gate, Endo stopped on his tracks and turned to face Togame.
“I’ll call you again next time.”
“Not here, hopefully. We just got lucky my folks were out today.”
“I’ll take care of that, don’t worry.” Endo thought for a second, then he added, “You can call me, by the way, if you need.”
With the objects of their affections being obsessed with the same person, Endo knew that sooner or later, Togame would be the one looking for a distraction.
And with the way Togame looked at him, he must have arrived at the same conclusion. They would need each other. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
With a final nod, Endo bade his farewell and headed out into the night, a small, satisfied smile lining his lips. For some reason, he felt that it won’t be long before Togame himself calls him for a meet-up, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t looking forward to it.
After all, he had found himself something interesting this time, one that would fill the gap in his heart until the right shade of eyes finally stares back.
Pairing: Togame Jo/Endo Yamato
Summary:
Endo had always believed that it didn’t matter who became the focus of his fleeting obsessions, after all, they’re mere fragments of the real thing. But something about the Shishitoren’s deputy leader tickled his curiosity. His color is not at all similar to Takiishi’s or Sakura’s, not a speck on his body even shared the similar hue.
However, when he looks at him, it felt like staring back at a reflection of himself. He couldn’t wait to look further.
“Well, if it isn’t a familiar face.”
Togame looks up at the familiar voice and finds himself staring eye to eye with the guy who initiated the attack on Furin last time. Though he did remember how strong he was when it comes to fighting, Togame never really bothered to know his name. With a brief nod, he acknowledges his presence and says nothing more.
He’s been waiting for Choji for around half an hour now outside of Furin’s gates. Apparently, Umemiya called for an afternoon snack between the leaders of the groups around Makochi. Knowing Umemiya, he’s probably forging some peace pact and teambuilding activities between all the groups to ensure that Furin and the town can enjoy peace much longer. Strictly for leaders, he apparently said, so he had no choice but to stay outside.
Ah. Is that why this guy is here? Togame did hear these troublemakers came as a pair, and there was an unfamiliar guy earlier with bright red hair.
Endo, for his part, feels a bit slighted. The last thing he expected was to be ignored. Wasn’t this guy flattered he still remembered him despite that mediocre performance in their last encounter?
“So, your group is friendly now with Bofurin, huh? Didn’t you come to help Sakura last time?” Endo continues, letting pass the fact that he was ignored. It’s not the first time someone he addressed didn’t give him the time of the day. And well, all those cases now acknowledge him, don’t they? This shouldn’t be any different. “Shishitoren’s deputy, Togame Jo. Isn’t it?”
Togame scratches the tip of his nose, feeling a bit uneasy from the attention. If not to fight, Togame doesn’t really care about interacting with strangers. This guy is practically one. And a persistent one, at that.
“You know it really surprised me that Shishitoren showed up that night.” Even being ignored does not faze Endo one bit. “It got me thinking, how come such a group who devotes themselves to power end up being support for another? Then the answer came to me that very same night. It’s because of Sakura, isn’t it. That guy’s a natural charmer. You’re the same as me, aren’t you? Drawn to him? So much so that you’d drag the whole of Shishitoren to impress the guy.”
Endo smiles in satisfaction as he finally sees Togame’s expression falter a bit.
“Sakura’s my friend. I helped him because that’s what friends do. Not everything is about impressing somebody.”
“It is, actually. I know how people’s minds work. Hey, I’ve got a great idea. You’re bored out here, right? Why don’t we finish what we started that time? Same stage and everything.”
Togame doesn’t really care. He came to Furin that night to back up Sakura. It was his first time working with Hiiragi then, so naturally, they didn’t quite get each other’s tempo yet, resulting to Endo being able to push them back. He finds no reason to prove that he can win over him, it’ll just be a waste of his time.
“No, thank you,” he answers curtly.
It just so happens that Endo is not the type to give up after one rejection.
“Aww, no way you were satisfied with that performance of yours?” Endo sits next to him uninvited and hooks an arm around Togame’s shoulder. “I heard you’re a monster. That was barely anything, if I say so myself.”
Togame regards him coldly, staring daggers at his unwelcome arm. Up this close, he could smell the whiff of some perfume on his body. It makes Togame’s nose itch.
“Kame-chan!”
Perfect timing. Togame swiftly extricates himself from Endo, waving at Choji’s direction. He’s followed behind by Umemiya, Nakamura, and the other guy that must be Endo’s accomplice.
“Yo, Togame. Endo.” Umemiya raises a hand to greet them. “Sorry for making you wait. Though, it seems you two are getting friendly already.”
“You can say that.” Endo says with a knowing smile, taking his spot next to Takiishi. “But our time was cut short. There’s still so much to know about each other, right, Togame?”
“Really? Then why don’t we exchange numbers? We can keep contact that way, yeah?” Choji excitedly suggests, not even giving Togame a chance to answer. Togame doesn’t miss the victorious smile Endo throws his way.
Togame tries hard to mask his irritation as the exchange of numbers ensue. Endo’s sudden interest in him has quite gotten on his nerves. But in fact, Togame has an inkling of what really bothered him about this whole exchange – Endo suggesting that they were the same. Sure, he did have a period when he mercilessly kicked out the weaker members of Shishitoren, but at the time, it was for Shishitoren’s sake. From the little he knows of this Endo, it seems that everything he does is for his entertainment alone. It's quite pathetic.
“I’ll get in touch.” Endo tells Togame before they part ways.
“You really don’t have to take the trouble.” Togame responds with a thin smile. He couldn’t outwardly reject Endo after all, since it was Choji’s idea to keep in contact and everything.
“Then we’ll go ahead now! Bye!” Choji bids farewell for the two of them as Togame walks ahead, wanting to create distance between him and Endo as soon as possible.
Endo’s eyes follow Togame with interest until his figure disappears at the end of the street. He had always believed that it didn’t matter who became the focus of his fleeting obsessions, after all, they’re mere fragments of the real thing. But something about the Shishitoren’s deputy leader tickled his curiosity. His color is not at all similar to Takiishi’s or Sakura’s, not a speck on his body even shared the similar hue.
However, when he looks at him, it felt like staring back at a reflection of himself. He couldn’t wait to look further.
No thanks to Choji, Endo bombarded Togame’s phone with messages for three days before he finally gave in and accepted his challenge for a rematch. Ori would have been the perfect stage for it, but he didn’t want Shishitoren to get involved in any way, so he let Endo decide where to fight. Finally, he sends him a location: Shenkan shipyard. Fri. 4 pm.
Togame recognizes the area: a notorious gang used to base there until they got all pummeled down by Bofurin. Considering that Endo has access to that place, he must have had a hand as well on that incident. Just how devilish this guy can be? Despite the de facto peace treaty between them and their group, Togame would hate to concern Shishitoren with his antics. It’ll be good to settle the matter between who’s stronger between the two of them sooner than later.
He arrives at the designated place and time and finds Endo already waiting, sitting leisurely on the raised platform.
“I could have seen you a mile away! You really love that jacket of yours, don’t you?” Endo laughs as he greets Togame. He has always thought these gang uniforms are so silly.
“I take pride of being a part of Shishitoren. I don’t expect you to understand.”
“Well, duh. I don’t wanna understand either. I’m fine enough hanging around wherever Takiishi goes.” Endo sticks his tongue out and makes a fart sound. “I don’t do group sentimentalities and other gross shit like that.”
Togame only glares at him.
“Not much of a talker are ya.” Endo takes his time stepping down from the platform, his steps reverberating through the steel steps, down the cold concrete, until he is mere meters away from Togame.
Togame widens his stance, crouching in preparation. He usually prefers taking things slow, but something tells him prolonging his contact with this guy won’t do him any good. “Why don’t we just get this over with?”
“Fine by me.” Endo cracks his knuckles, a crazed smile lining his lips. Endo let Sakura win last time so that he may not lose the flames he witnessed in those pair of unique eyes. But because of that, a part of him naturally felt unsatiated. He’s been dying to fight to his heart’s desire without restraints. If he destroys this man right now in front of him to the point of ruin, there’s nothing to lose. Endo can go all out as much as he wanted. He plans to do as such.
For a moment, there is only silence as the two sides sized up one another.
Then Togame makes the first move, going for a hard tackle. Endo is caught in surprise; he didn’t expect Togame could move this fast. It seems his initial judgment of him is correct – he still has a lot of strength to show. Endo is pushed a step back, but he manages to hold himself upright.
Seeing that Endo didn’t fall, Togame swiftly changes gears and goes for an exchange of blows. Endo parries with him, their exchange forceful yet precise. Togame goes for another tackle. This time, Endo is prepared, countering with a knee. Togame, however, blocks it easily, as if he already knew it was coming, and simultaneously sneaks in a quick hook from the right, hitting Endo squarely on his face.
Endo staggers this time, blood staining the side of his mouth.
“Heh, I see now,” Endo wipes the blood away with the back of his hand as soon as he regains his balance, “If it’s you, I must go all out right from the start.”
“You should have done so from the beginning.”
“Then I won’t hold back anymore.”
With fighters of their caliber and strength, their exchange of fists and kicks dragged on almost without end. It became a test of endurance, in which neither of them was lacking either. Blood and sweat rained on the ground that they fought on, yet they remain on the battlefield, equally responding to each other’s hits.
At one point, Endo decides to give Togame a taste of his own medicine, crouching low and tackling him hard. It came unexpectedly as Togame is focused on blocking Endo’s punches. Togame loses his balance, falling to the ground hard with Endo on top of him. Togame’s breath gets knocked out of him. He was half-expecting for Endo to take advantage of this, but instead, the other guy remains crouched on top of him, his eyes wide with a peculiar expression as they stare at each other.
It takes a moment for Togame to recognize that look – it was thirst.
Endo licks his lips. With one hand, he pushes Togame’s left shoulder down, while the other snakes is way under Togame's shirt and up along his torso, his calloused palm leaving a trail of heat across his skin.
“What the hell are you doing?”
“What does it look like?” Endo cranes his neck, his mouth curving up to a grin. “Such a shame you’re hiding this body underneath loose clothes, Togame. I would have noticed you sooner.”
Togame’s reaction is a mix of shock and reluctant acceptance. He remains still under Endo’s touch, unsure if it’s fatigue or something else making him compliant.
Endo seems to have sensed his thoughts as he echoes, “You can easily push me off if you don’t want this.”
Togame doesn’t speak, only defiantly stares back.
At that point, Endo realizes his instincts were right – Togame has a different type of flame in his eyes, and it’s not unlikeable either. It’s something only visible to those who look hard enough. And by gods, was he not lucky to have taken the chance?
It feels like another match has started, with both sides waiting for the perfect timing to attack.
In this instance, Togame makes the first move yet again.
He grabs the back of Endo’s neck and yanks him down with force, their mouths meeting in a frenzied kiss – in fact, he didn’t know if it couldn’t be said to be a kiss, it was a ravenous clash of pent-up frustrations and desire, like waves crashing into each other in a stormy sea. Gone are the concept of boundaries and space – there was only lips and mouth and teeth and tongue. They devoured each other until Togame was tasting blood, and even that did not stop Endo. It just made him hungrier, sucking Togame’s mouth harder, drinking him all in.
Togame didn’t have much experience in these kinds of things, he drives himself by instinct, but Endo makes up for all of that he lacks. His mouth and tongue moved in a way Togame didn’t know could be done, and it lights a fire from the pit of his stomach until it becomes a low growl within his throat. He grips harder at the back of Endo’s head, his fingers weaving into Endo’s hair, pulling him down as if to drown together with, until both of their jaws start aching.
Just as crashing waves cease until they only lap along the shore, Togame’s and Endo’s turbulent kisses slow into languid nibbles, their energy spent but desire still lingering.
Finally, Endo pulls himself away from Togame’s mouth and rests his head against the nook of his neck, catching his breath with a giddy smile on his face, inhaling the light scent of laundry soap emanating from Togame’s sweat-soaked clothes. Fuck, who knew this man would taste so good? “Damn, I’d really like to take you home right now.”
“Don’t press your luck.” Togame finally finds it in him to push Endo off. He still doesn't know what quite to feel. The matter of fact is that he reciprocated Endo's advances, initiated their kiss even. Maybe it's just a case of the body responding to its needs. There's no need to think too deeply about it.
To his surprise, Endo removes himself without complaint, laying down on the ground.
Endo props himself up so that he’s facing him, his raw knuckles supporting his bruising cheek. “There will be a rematch, of course.”
“Why do I have a feeling you will not take no for an answer?”
“I’m happy you already understand me at such a short time,” Endo grins, “Seems like we did have a fruitful conversation here.”
In the end, Endo couldn’t follow through with his plan. There wasn’t a clear winner or loser between their fight, what with Endo letting his instincts take over his mind. But that was fine, too. He found himself something fascinating yet again, and this time, the object of his fixation seems to be responding in kind.
If Togame’s hard to break, then there’s reason to keep coming back.
I dunno if it's a common thing for others but back when I was younger, me and other kids would sneak "finger horns ✌ " above each other's heads to make an evil 😈 look during picture taking. Actually there's a picture of me and my sis where she did a ✌ above my head 😂🤣 (too bad can't find the pic right now)
I think I played it too safe 😅 (read left to right)
It's pretty much based on Kame-chan's answer to one of the character QnA. I was paranoid about how I should portray Togame here so I even made a poll. The result says that Togame is popular with girls but is often mistaken as an uncle guy (my hc too, actually). I tried to come up with a conversation that would reflect that but I realized that using "Onii-san" or "Oji-san" doesn't have the same vibes as how I hear "Ahjussi"/ "Hyung" in kdrama. Togame really has that hyung vibes 😅🤣
