In the spirit of that "Never hesitate to post on Tumblr" post i reblogged here's a nonsensical rant I've been stewing on about a dumb rando character I've recently gotten into
To start off this is about Tohru from Jackie Chan adventures and yes i knooooow its a 25 year old show for kids it's literally not even that deep but we're going to pretend like it is
Because like Tohru is genuinely one of the most interesting characters in the show to me. He starts off in season one as one of the strongest and most capable antagonists, and during that whole time he's getting the shit beat out of him and thrown out of buildings and shit. Then at the end of the season he's ordered to fight a DEMON SORCERER with his bare hands and gets blasted out of a 50 story building for it.
He understandably switches sides after that and turns out to be one of the kindest people in the show. There's literally a whole episode where he gets waited on hand and foot and he HATES it. He says he loves helping people, especially the people he cares about. He winds up becoming one of the closest friends of Jade, Jackie Chan's 12ish year old neice, and he's so protective of her. Protective of ALL of the main cast! He loves his mama! He's definitely not the smartest character in the show, but i think he's smarter than he even gives himself credit for. At the very least he's willing to learn!
Like, when he's supposed to be watching Jade but they both wind up in the action anyways, he says that jade is very persuasive, but honestly i just think that he knows she'd find a way to run off on her own anyways, so it's better if he goes with to keep her safe
He's so compelling to me, which SUCKS with how often the show makes him the butt of jokes. Again, I KNOOOOOOW it's a show for kids so of course they would make the "big fat dumb guy" the punchline, and it's the JACKIE CHAN Adventures not the TOHRU Adventures, but damn can this guy get a break? Again, this is played as a joke, but in one episode Tohru is tortured for an entire night by a trickster deity and left trapped under more torture until the main characters get back
Also, how the fuck is the show going to say in Season 3 that Tohru's never sumo wrestled when he DISTINCTLY fights with a sumo style throughout seasons 1-2???? Again yes not a serious show not that deep yadda yadda yadda
But my brain has latched onto him. I think he's neat. He needs a break. I'm shipping him with an OC with tits each the size of his head. I wish he had more content
Why is Tohru still working with the Dark Hand in season 2 episode 1 and why are they still looking for talismans ? The last episode ended with Tohru joining the J team and working at Uncle’s shop and Shendu getting blown up. Was this a continuity error or does Tubi just have the episodes messed up ? I know that the show did switch writers and producers after season 1 so maybe they forgot ?
Pairing: dark hand polycule (Chow/Finn/Ratso/Tohru/Valmont)
Word Count: ~2k
A/N: After-heist, pre-canon patching of wounds
“Seriously, you don't have to be so worried, Valmont,” Chow said as Valmont worked on wrapping his arm. After he'd already cleaned and bandaged the long wound there, gained from a surprisingly sharp fence.
“Of course I don't,” Valmont snapped without even looking at him. Chow caught Finn’s eyes over Valmont’s head and they shared an eye roll.
“You know, Big V,” Finn said. “I scratched my leg pretty bad, too, getting over that fence.” Which actually wasn't a lie. It'd even actually torn a hole in his pants. If not for the fact Ratso could sew, he'd be madder about it. Also the fact that it did actually sting. Quite a lot.
“I'm hurt, too,” Ratso said with a noticeable pout in his voice. A guard had punched him real good in the chest before they got away. (With the cash, of course.) It seemed like only Tohru made it out of this unscathed.
“I'll get to you both,” Valmont said as he tied off the wrap. “There.”
Chow moved his arm to be sure it wasn't too tight and gave him a thumbs up when he determined it wasn't. “Thanks.”
Valmont only hummed, not really one for acknowledging gratefulness for something that he felt was necessary or obligatory– he was like Tohru, in that respect. Not that either disliked the gratefulness or that they wouldn't do these things if they didn't see them as necessary or obligatory. Just that they didn't see it necessary for the others to thank them for things that ‘of course they would do’. A corner of Chow’s mouth lifted in a smile and Valmont turned from him with an eyeroll and pinkened cheeks.
The scrape on Finn’s leg was perhaps worse than Finn had really thought at first, now that the adrenaline had worn off from their small heist. It pulsed slightly with his heartbeat. Though honestly that could just be in his head. Like when he had his period and thought he could feel his heart through his nether regions. Valmont kneeled between his legs, their first aid kit on the other side of Finn’s injured leg. He slid the bottom of Finn’s boxers up a little so he could access the full scrape. Finn hissed when Valmont started to clean it.
“Oh, calm down,” Valmont said, though his touch lightened.
“You know,” Finn said through his teeth in an effort to distract himself, “I kinda like having you on your knees between my legs.” He let his legs close a little and Valmont pushed at one with a glare, cheeks noticeably darker. It did make Finn feel better and he resettled in a comfortable position with his legs spread so Valmont could tend to his wound without being squished. As he worked, Valmont's blush lightened till it disappeared completely. Which was really a shame.
Valmont finished with the wrap and stood back up. He grabbed the first aid kit to tend to Ratso, but Finn grabbed his wrist to stop him. Once Valmont looked back at him with a raised eyebrow he gave his best puppy eyes. The ones that used to get his older sister to cave. “You're not gonna kiss it better, Big V?”
Valmont sighed as loudly as he could. “I'm not going to ‘kiss it better’.” He made air quotes.
“Aww.” Ratso pouted.
Finn took Valmont's chin in his hands and directed his gaze back at him. While he couldn't see it, he could feel Chow’s eye roll. Well, he was just jealous he hadn't thought of this first. “What if I returned the favour?” He asked and leaned in to kiss the corner of his mouth, where it'd been split when someone punched him before Tohru could get there. When he pulled back, Valmont had gone a soft pink.
“Fine,” Valmont grumbled. “But just this once.”
“Sure thing, Big V.” Finn leaned back on his hands and stretched his leg out. Ratso cheered. There was some brief hesitation, before Valmont kissed the bandage on Finn’s upper thigh. It only lasted a second before he was up so fast he practically stumbled and he cleared his throat like that would distract from it. For once, Finn bit his tongue and Chow did the same.
“Alright,” Valmont’s voice barely skated the border of ‘squeak’ and ‘not a squeak’. Again he cleared his throat. He gestured at Ratso. “Take off your shirt, let me see the bruise.”
Ratso did as asked without hesitation, though it was with a flinch. The bruise on his chest wasn't exactly small. Of course it wasn't huge, either, spread out slightly past the shape of a fist like a starburst. It was already turning blue in the center, the edges still red.
“Oh, gnarly,” Chow said.
“Thanks,” Ratso said with a smile.
Valmont gently touched his fingertips to it. A wince flickered quickly past Ratso’s face, but Valmont still caught it via proximity and it being the exact thing he was watching for. He clicked his tongue against his teeth. So it still hurt, of course. Though since this bruise was taken for him, Valmont guessed he could give Ratso a small break. “I can’t do much for this except just give it time to heal.”
“And a kiss to help?” Ratso asked hopefully. Valmont dragged a hand down his face. Of course Finn had to start something, instigator that he was. But he still kissed the bruise at its edge, so the pressure of his lips wouldn’t pain Ratso. It made Ratso smile brighter and Valmont averted his gaze toward Chow.
“I suppose you want me to kiss your wounds better, too?” Valmont asked dryly.
Chow held his arm up with a grin. “Well, if you're offering.”
“Oh, oh, and don't forget Tohru!” Ratso said.
“Yeah,” Finn agreed.
“He didn't even get hurt,” Valmont argued, looking between the two of them.
“No, but we'd hate for the big guy to be left out. Right, guys?” Finn said.
“Yeah,” Chow said. When Valmont ducked to press his lips to Chow’s arm, Chow briefly brushed his fingers through Valmont’s hair. Somehow it always seemed to be free from tangles. Perfect even after a job. Most of the time Chow would roll his eyes at that, but he figured he’d leave Valmont alone since he did kiss his wound better. “Thanks.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Valmont waved him away, ignoring the growing heat in his cheeks, and walked toward Tohru. The single person who hadn’t jeered him into this. As well as the single person who didn’t actually get hurt. Though Valmont knew that wasn’t the reason Tohru hadn’t joined the other three– Tohru was the more serious one of the group. Strong and silent and dependable, like the foundation of the earth.
Valmont stopped a hair's breadth from Tohru’s cheek, which had pinkened. “Are you sure you didn't get hurt, Tohru?” He whispered so the others didn't hear.
“I am sure,” Tohru said just as quietly.
“Good.” Valmont kissed his cheek. Then he took Tohru’s head by the chin and moved him so their eyes met and pressed his lips firmly to Tohru’s. The kiss lingered a few seconds.
“Hey, how come Tohru got a second kiss and we didn't?” Chow asked.
“Because Tohru is being rewarded for not coming back injured,” Valmont said, giving him a pointed look. It was rare for Chow to shy away from anything, but he did with this, eyes downcast. Looking properly scolded. Good. That was the intention. He nodded to himself and began to pack up their first aid kit to put it back away within the ottoman.
"Alright." Finn stood up with a flinch. "Now's our turn."
"Your turn?" Valmont asked. The look Finn gave Chow, Ratso, and Tohru didn't answer him, but it did make him wary.
"Yeah, Valmont," Chow said. "We're not the only ones who got hurt, remember?"
"Ooh, yeah." Ratso moved toward Valmont.
"Wait-" Valmont went to move, but Tohru put a hand on his shoulder to hold him there. He made for a very handsome trap, as well as one Valmont knew he couldn't escape.
"They are right, we should check you as well," Tohru said. Apparently this had become one of those moments where Tohru went along with their nonsense.
"Finn already kissed it better," Valmont tried to bristle, but the hand he held over the injury on his mouth and the way his heart sounded loud in his ears probably didn't help. Physical affection wasn't something his parents were big on– really any affection wasn't something his parents were big on– and even with Tohru physical affection was fairly rare. Until these three joined them. It would be a lie to say Valmont wasn't jealous of how quickly Tohru adapted.
"But they didn't," Finn said.
"What's the point of everyone kissing it better?" Valmont deflected with a nervous laugh.
"It makes it more effective," Chow said.
Valmont, in his professional opinion, did not think that was true. In fact, he was pretty sure it was just an excuse.
"Was that your only injury?" Finn asked, gesturing to his split lip.
"Yes." Valmont glowered, fully aware of the bruise on his side from the vault door clipping him awkwardly and rather harshly. A rather stupid injury, really. He got distracted when he thought he heard a sound. (Of course, it turned out he did hear a sound– the two guards.) No personal vault should have a door that heavy anyway.
"I saw the door hit him in the side," Chow said and one of Tohru's hands drifted down to gently prod at Valmont's flesh. He couldn't help it, a hiss of pain escaped through his teeth in his surprise. Finn gave him a rather pointed look.
"I was going to take care of it later." Which was not a lie. After he was done with everyone else and away from prying eyes, he would've dealt with it. Afterall, it wasn't bad enough to be fussed over. The others clearly didn’t think so. He rolled his eyes.
Chow walked over and lifted his shirt up, drawing a sympathetic hiss from Ratso as well as a handy reminder of the other reason Valmont didn't want them to know. Sympathy was not something he was used to. He may love all his boyfriends, and was more used to many of the antics that came with Ratso, Chow, and Finn, but sympathy still sat as a mixed bag. Valmont looked down at it. Red bloomed in a line across his left side. Just like Ratso's, there was nothing they could do but let it heal.
“Really got yourself with that door, huh,” Finn said, the remark said in such a way that made Valmont narrow his eyes in a glare at him. The guards had caught him off guard. At least it wasn’t more sympathy.
“Can’t do anything to help it,” Ratso said.
“Nothing but this,” Chow agreed, and dipped down to kiss Valmont’s side, right over his ribs. The press of his lips was soft and brief, and expected, but it tickled as well and Valmont squirmed away instinctually. Though he didn’t see it, he could feel Chow’s smile.
"Right." Ratso said with a nod and bent to kiss a slightly different spot on the same wound once Chow moved away. It was a more sensitive spot and Valmont gritted his teeth instinctively despite the way the kiss gently fluttered. Because it was such a light press, he could only call it a flutter. Valmont could feel his heart pound harder. Especially with the way it pulsed through the bruise.
Tohru, when it was his turn, traced the wound's edge with his finger before he placed a careful kiss at the wound's heart– the very center where it radiated from. Valmont shudder in Ratso’s hold, though Tohru was also very gentle. None of the kisses exactly hurt. But he knew the area would hurt tomorrow, just as Ratso’s would hurt.
“Are you four done now?” Valmont said, cheeks warm.
“Yes,” Chow said and Finn echoed it, both smiling. Ratso dropped a hand from the hold on Valmont’s shoulder to his wrist to squeeze lightly before he let go entirely.
“Good.” Valmont stood up straighter and tucked his shirt back in before he readjusted his suit jacket. Then, just for good measure, he buttoned the middle two buttons. “Well, I’m going to check to see how much money we managed to abscond with.”
“Is it technically absconding if we got caught?” Finn asked quietly. Valmont saw Chow shrug in the corner of his eye. Both were ignored.
“Ratso, come with me, I want a second pair of eyes,” Valmont said and continued on without bothering to check if Ratso followed.
Why did the writers just forget that Torhu switched teams ? I feel like these were supposed to be season one episodes but they got cut or they really just did forget
