GUYS. Why aren’t we talking about Tolbert and his PAIRED FUCKING AXES. So I’m just like fucking sitting minding my own business, writing a slice of life about Gross Witcher Boys Being Gross, right? And I realize I don’t know the names of any of the witchers introduced in TWN this season, except the obvious ones. So I go to this absolutely amazing post on twitter by @4x15am. And the boys are outside on the training grounds or whatever in these images. And most of them (Hemrik apparently has Geralt’s trick of wearing his sword stupid, over his back, so it’s harder to draw) are wearing their swords nicely at their waists for a quick draw. Good job, boys, being way smarter than your theatre goth main character brother! And that’s when I notice. EVERYONE HAS A SWORD EXCEPT TOLBERT. And I go full “CSI ENHANCE” mode on the images. And nope. Buddy doesn’t have a sword. Buddy has PAIRED AXES. Tolbert is the true rebel son. Imagine the judgement. Imagine how everyone rolls their eyes at him. Tolbert is my new fave. That is all.