I Lay Here And Try To Sleep As All These Thoughts Run Threw My Head And Keep Me Awake As They Usually Do !
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I Lay Here And Try To Sleep As All These Thoughts Run Threw My Head And Keep Me Awake As They Usually Do !
The pain that will never go away #painistemporary #past #tomanythoughts #missingyou #selfmotivation #selfcare #selflove #selfworth #becomestronger #whatdoesntkillyoumakesyoustronger #love #loveisnotdead #alchemist743 (at Buena Park, California)
I really just need to be pulled out of this.
Thinking about the future is terrifying me... I have no idea what I want to do with my life :(
Time to call it a night before I drive myself insane.
Late Night Reminiscing & Thinking
I want to change the world, but how? One person can’t make that much of a difference can they? People always tell me it’s the small things that matter most, but I disagree. I won’t be satisfied with my life until the who damned system is changed. I hate this world we live in. It’s beautiful and twisted, and our job should be to untwist it. Until the homeless are sheltered, the lost found, the broken mended, the sick cured, the filth cleaned, the depressed happy, and hatred banished completely, I will not be satisfied or happy.
Why does society insist in creating rules, boundaries, guidelines that we’re supposed to follow? Why can’t we be free to expand ourselves and truly be who we are, not what society creates within us?
Who am I? Is there even a definition to who a person is? Isn’t it possible for me to wake up tomorrow a totally different person? Or is that who I am also?
I miss you more than you will ever know, and I don’t know what to do about it. I sometimes I start to think I may be in love with you. But then i think, what the hell do I know about love? If anything I've fallen in love with the passion in your eyes. the way they light up when you talk about something important to you, or the sadness i see in them when you talk about the wrong in the world that I know you wish to change. All i know is that you’re the most beautiful human being on the planet, and you have impacted my life tremendously and you don’t even know it.
Why do I need to pick a career? I could care less about making money. About having a set schedule and condemning my life to working 8 hours a day. We’re here for a set amount of time and then it’s gone, I’d rather be out changing lives instead of wasting my own.
This…thing… That we live and call life, is weird and mysterious. It consumes me sometimes to the point I’m ready to lose it. I don’t understand the rules, I don’t know how to play, and who even said I wanted to? But then I remember all those who are worse off than I am, and realize that I am here for a reason, and I believe that reason is to change lives, make people realize what we’re doing, what we’ve done. Somewhere out there someone is crying for help that may never come and that’s what keeps me going everyday, because that pain shouldn’t exist.