¡Oi! Spoilers, stavfel och alternativa fakta kan förekomma rakt föröver!
Amazon Prime Video visade sig inte bara ha en hel hög gamla lågbudget Science Fiction/Fantasy-filmer. De har ett helt gäng filmer från the Asylum med. Lycka!
2018 var inte bara året då Alicia Vikander röjde på biograferna som Lara Croft i Tomb Raider -- det var också året då The Asylum släppte sin mockbuster på temat. Tomb Invader, för i säkerhets skull, har dock kanske mer gemensamt med Indiana Jones än Lara Croft. Arkeologen och professorn Alabama 'Ally' Channing (Gina Vitori) får chansen att, via miljardären Tim Parker (Evan Sloan), att återuppta jakten på en mäktig artefakt som hennes mor Julie Channing (Tammy Klein) en gång letade efter. Med sig på expeditionen tar hon bästa vännerna Helena (Samantha Bowling), som specialiserar sig på språk och Bennie Blum (Shawn McConnell). Väl på plats i området där hennes mor en gång försvann visar det sig att hennes stora rival Nathan (Andrew Katers) också är inbjuden.
Trots att den här filmens grund har mer gemensamt med Indiana Jones har den en och annan detalj som även känns igen från Tomb Raider. Den försvunna föräldern till exempel som försvann på sin sista expedition och en tjej som inte räds att sparka rumpa. Nu är det här en film från The Asylum, så den har en story som kanske känns aningen förenklad och en dialog som inte alltid sitter där den skall, men den håller en klass som för studion i fråga avgjort måste kallas över medel. Cgi:n är riktigt bra, iaf för sin budget och de flesta av fightingscenerna är riktigt bra. (Det sistnämnda kan också bero på de billiga 80-tals fantasy-filmerna jag sett på sistone). Filmens stora akilleshäl är kanske dess stora skurkroll, för min del så funkar det inte riktigt att passa ihop "kallt beräknande med ont uppsåt i bakfickan" med en karaktär som starkt påminner om "Andy" från komediserien "Jims värld / According to Jim".
Man slår inte på en av The Asylums filmer och förväntar sig en upplevelse i klass med de stora blockbustrarna. Det här är varken "Tomb Raider" eller "Indiana Jones", men väl ett välproducerat lågbudgetraffel, och säga vad man vill om The Asylum: de är inte rädda för att låta kvinnliga karaktärer ta plats. Och från någon som ett gäng lågbudgetrullar från 70- och 80-talen, nä så pjåkigt är det här inte.
Våren 2021, lite förvånande, beräknas Lara Croft åter springa in på biograferna. Visst håller vi tummarna att vi även får se Alabama Channing springa in på våra streamingtjänster veckan innan?
Den här filmen är även känd som “Tomb Hunter” och “The Tomb: Heart of the Dragon”.
Tomb Invader, un film d’action sur PlayVOD Cameroun
Chers cinéphiles, ne manquez pas le film d’action Tomb Invader en streaming sur PlayVOD Cameroun. Ce long-métrage raconte l’histoire d’un groupe d’étudiants qui font une découverte au fond de la jungle.
Envie de regarder un film d’action ? N’allez pas chercher plus loin, car PlayVOD Cameroun a ce qu’il vous faut. Tomb Invader vous emmène à la découverte d’une ancienne tombe au fond de la jungle.
Script and actors are average bland Asylum fare, but the fact that nobody caught the blatant editing mistakes during the big exposition scene halfway through really shows the level of care that went into this. It's low. Very, very low.
Okay, I decided to do it. I decided to watch Tomb Invader, a “mockbuster” to the 2018 Tomb Raider film. Basically, some people trying to make cash by making a film that's a cheap knock-off of some current big budget film. It has 2,3/10 rating on IMDB (and Rotten Tomatoes probably pretend it doesn't exist at all). This is… going to be… fun? You can watch the trailer here. The official synopsis says:
Archaeologist, Alabama Channing, is recruited by a mysterious billionaire to help find an ancient Chinese relic. The same treasure that her mother was in search of before she went missing.
Warning: There are going to be spoilers. Don't read if you want to watch the film in its pristine, unspoiled form. If you want to watch it at all, that is. :D
Five minutes in and I'm tempted to watch from the beginning just so I can count all the “oh my god”s. Were they all actually scripted or were the actors told to express amazement and this was the only way they knew how? Their flippant approach to possible death and someone actually dying makes them unintentionally badass though. So, three people in some ancient temple/tomb, solving a puzzle, two dead and one buried (the mother of the protagonist – thumbs up for that not being her father I guess?) by the end of this part.
20 years later, we meet a plucky young woman saying “really” and “you got this” while overcoming deadly traps. But I do appreciate that the film goes right into the traps and artifacts and kicking ass (the choreography... could be worse, this is acceptable). So yeah, here we see Alabama – or Ally, for short – in all her glory. So far so good.
Alabama's day job: A professor at some American university… because this may be a Lara Croft knock-off but she's one different USA-state-for-a-name away from some other famous fictional archaeologist. She's approached by some blonde woman (Isabelle?) who gives her her mother's diary and a phone – with which Ally calls some blond guy who wants her to come to China to find something. Suspicious blondies. Not bad.
Our heroine braids her hair and travels to China with two friends: a BFF female professor and a male nerd geologist. She's welcomed by a rival treasure hunter, a hot guy named Nathan. *coughDrakecough* She doesn't like him because he's in it for the money. So, presumably a love interest. Damn, but it is a hot guy. Great casting here.
Then they finally meet the mysterious Blond Guy. Tim or something. Yeeeah I'm sure he doesn't end up being a villain or anything, I totally trust him, he doesn't rub me the wrong way at all, nope.
Ah, an infodump during lunch. Couldn't they have told us all this in a more interesting way? But at least we know these characters need to eat to survive or something (not Hot Guy though, he just drinks… An alcoholic? Is that plot relevant?). Ah and the Blonde Woman from earlier joins in too. She's a reporter, supposed to chronicle this expedition to find… a heart? Dragon heart? It was in the infodump, something that Ally's mother was searching for too… Heart of the Dragon, that was it.
Ah, Nerd's name is Bennie.
The camp is attacked at night. Fighting choreography continues to be of an acceptable quality. Blonde Woman dies. Blond Guy (who apparently had a thing with Blonde Woman, though they were fighting) appears late and runs up to them. Ally's reaction, squatting by his lover's dead body? “Oh look who finally decided to show up.” Wow. Cold-blooded. Oh by the way Hot Guy got kidnapped. They go rescue him. So Blonde Woman is forgotten in about ten seconds.
Hot Guy's alcoholism pays off because Ally finds a strip of cloth that smells of alcohol, therefore concluding it's his. 10/10 tracking skills.
Hot Guy is dragged in front of the boss of the attackers, some kinda gang? They are looking for the same thing Ally does! Or at least they want her mom's notebook, so…
Okay, Ally went ahead and rescued Hot Guy by herself. This choreography was a bit worse, mainly because a group of guys still managed to attack her one by one instead of, you know, a group. Also in case it wasn't clear, she doesn't have guns or anything, she kicks and punches. I wonder if she'll be forced to kill for the first time (I'm assuming she hasn't killed yet) in some dramatic fashion later.
So, Ally and Hot Guy reunite with Blond Guy, Nerd and BFF (oh, she's Helena!) and promptly get jumped by the gang again. They talk with the Gang Boss. The gang actually needs Ally's help to find the Heart because it can reunite nations or some crap and Ally's mom promised to find it for them so now Ally should do it. Oooookay, why didn't they lead with that instead of attacking? There was some excuse of chasing out anyone who came close, but their approach still doesn't make all that much sense. Oh also killing Blonde Woman was an accident, no hard feelings?
The Gang Boss says finding the key can be deadly dangerous because you gotta choose the right key to open the tomb or you die. Only the right person can choose the right key. Blond Guy knew that, BFF is pissed that he was leading them to danger. Nerd is like chill out everyone. Gang Boss is like yeah let's get some rest we're all tired. I guess they're all friends now?
So, yeah, they're resting. Ally and Hot Guy have a late-evening chat, possibly to show us their developing feelings for each other. We also find out Ally became an archaeologist because of her mother. I'm shocked and amazed, what a twist!
Morning. They decided to work together. Well, Ally decides. Blond Guy disagrees because he thinks the relic should be shared with the world, not kept by these guys. Why… doesn't he disagree because they killed his girlfriend? I mean, he can disagree for more reasons but she was killed yesterday, and these guys did it, and he… dunno, suppressed all memory of her in his grief? Because there is no grief. Goddammit people, at least pretend to act like humans, show some emotion.
Blond Guy takes Hot Guy aside to remind him that he's the one paying him. He wants the Heart and Hot Guy better not change his mind just because he's crushing on Ally. And because he really seems to be changing his mind, Blond Guy threatens him with disclosing some of his illegal activities. What a dilemma! I'm sure the film will deal with this to our storytelling and emotional satisfaction.
Gang Boss somehow took on the role of the wise mentor while I wasn't looking (I swear I'm not skipping anything :D ). Ally finds the tomb – and some traps – and he advises her before sending her in with BFF, Nerd, Hot Guy and Blond Guy, he himself with his gang waiting outside. So, they go in. There's a lot of traps. I approve.
Oh, we find out BFF is a linguist! Nice! Is that going to be relevant or is that a throw away line like when she mentioned she's a lesbian? I'm still waiting for a follow up on that. Maybe if Blonde Woman didn't die…
I love the amount of arbitrary traps, really reminds me of classic Tomb Raider. Oh, Nerd got killed by a poison dart. I think the rest is getting a bit better at a proper emotional response, but they still just leave the corpse there exactly as he died which seriously feels wrong. So they go on. They don't forget about him though! BFF starts crying about him a bit later! It actually affects even Hot Guy and he confesses that Blond Guy (who went ahead with a map) wants the Heart for himself to get him rich. Ally is like how dare you??? only telling us now??? but then she and BFF are like lol we figured he just wants it for himself, we weren't gonna give it to him when we find it.
I actually really liked that scene, sadly it was kinda inappropriate how they were laughing when BFF was crying for Nerd just a moment before.
They find Ally's mom's locket lying on the ground, with photos of the two of them. Ally had two braids when she was a little kid! Nice touch.
Okay, they solved the riddle, used the right key… Haha oh my god the Heart really has the shape of a heart. Like, not an anatomical shape, but cookie cutter heart shape. That feels a bit ridiculous but I mean hey, why not. :D Blond Guy meanwhile somewhere else found some gold. Maybe that's why there was a minor earthquake? Either way BFF got crushed by some stones but don't worry, she's fine, just limping a little. But Ally's reaction to her being crushed was terrified and believable, they really are getting better at this.
So BFF waits while Ally and Hot Guy go looking for Blond Guy. Ally says that this might not be the actual Heart, that it might still be somewhere around. They find Blond Guy who wants Ally to use the (presumed?) Heart to open the tomb he found. She doesn't wanna because it's dangerous. Blond Guy is acting kinda frenzied. He's also more fit than he let out because he overpowers Hot Guy and Ally and takes the Heart, which makes some warrior statue come to life. The CGI could be better.
The warrior takes out the guys and Ally fights him, then Hot Guy helps her and they defeat him which opens the tomb. There's a sword. Turns out that is the actual Heart of the Dragon. Well, definitely better than the first thing they thought was the Heart.
Meanwhile Blond Guy runs… somewhere. Everything starts falling apart. Ally and Hot Guy go back to BFF and escape, Blond Guy is maybe still looking for gold or just doesn't know the way out, anyway he gets buried.
Ally presents the sword to the Gang Boss, who thanks them profoundly. He asks them what they are going to do next and Ally asks in return what other hidden relics they have around.
Next scene – Ally is giving a lecture about the Heart. BFF peeks into the classroom and nods with her head in the direction of outside, smiling. Ally dismisses the class.
Some more thoughts:
I assume Ally's mom really is dead then. They didn't find the body though… And what was the deal with Blonde Woman? Why was she and Blond Guy fighting? Maybe it was to hint that he was bad, but it still felt like there was something more to her character that just got cut out. And does it mean Hot Guy will search for artifacts with Ally now and won't do it for money? He should get a job then...
Okay, all in all… It wasn't that bad. Granted, I was pausing a lot to write this so I had time to dig and make fun of it, maybe I'd be rather weary if I was just watching uninterrupted, especially as they seemed to be walking through the forest a lot, talking. But yeah, it could be worse. If this was a fan-made TR film, I might even say it was pretty good. As a professional production though… Well, the dumbest thing about this whole film is still its title, they really could do better than this. Seriously.
Has anyone else watched the film? Or does anyone feel like watching it after reading this? Tell me your thoughts!
