This weeks entry into the prompt game at @tonystarkstoga. It’s early and a bit of a rushed job because I’m multitasking but I hope you enjoy another Tony & his kidnappers drabble!
“Fuck this, he’s right.”
Tony preens. He’s always right--well, mostly--but it’s always nice to have other people acknowledge it.
“Just kill him and be done with it,” the masked guy orders after another moment of silent contemplation.
Tony blinks. Tilts his head. Goes over the words again.
“Yeah,” he drawls, even as he not-nervously side-eyes the henchman who’s already reaching for his gun. “That’s almost the exact opposite of what I was going for.”
Masked guy and all of his minions--too bad they aren’t yellow and cute, Tony would have appreciated the sight a lot more--all turn to stare at him. He can’t make out their expressions but he’s pretty sure they’re gaping.
“You’ve spent the last hour going on and on about every mistake we’ve made in kidnapping you, every trace we’ve left behind, every possible outcome this will have,” Masked guy states, crosses his arms in front of his chest.
Which is a fair point. And yes, in retrospect, possibly not the smartest thing Tony could’ve done. But it’s just nagging at him, all the silly rookie mistakes these guys have made, it’s so pathetic. He can’t help but want to make this little game of hide and seek between these guys and the Avengers a little more interesting.
(Let’s not delve into how they managed to capture him in the first place, because that was just low.)
“True,” Tony admits. “But you’re forgetting that I’ve been very helpful too. I think you owe it to me not to kill me until my slightly-less-efficient-than-anticipated rescue team shows up.”
Masked guy snorts unattractively. “Go ahead, shoot him. And then lets get out of here.
Too bad. Well, it was worth a try.
Also where the heck is his team? They’re usually a lot faster than this.
“You know how I told you kidnapping was a bad idea because my overprotective killer-boyfriend was going to rip you into tiny pieces and feed to your friend over there with a smile?” he asks, strains against his bindings. The rope refuses to give though. “Just imagine what he’s gonna do when he finds out you’re pointing a gun at me.”
“Or don’t,” a thankfully familiar voice calls from above, right as the first screams sound. “I’ve heard the reality is always better.”
There’s the gentle “srrrr” of an arrow and then Clint’s standing in front of Tony, smirking down at him. “Threatening them with your boyfriend? Really, Stark?” he raises an eyebrow.
“Yes, well, if you would’ve been on time for once in your life I could’ve spared all of us the embarrassment,” Tony scowls right back. “Where are the others?”
“Beats me.” Clint shrugs, kicks a twitching henchman hard. “Let’s just follow the blood bath and wails for mercy.”
Twenty minutes later, Tony surveys the carnage with a resigned sigh.
“They never learn, do they?”
“They will,” his lover gently squeezes his shoulder. “We’ll teach them until they remember it.”
