June of (minimal) Doom 2024 Day 6 - They don't care about you
Satoru feels Suguru’s cursed energy spike, going wobbly and all out of whack and he knows that something is seriously wrong. So wrong that he simply acts on instinct instead of thinking it through and between one blink and the next he finds himself right next to Suguru, in a small village, in a house with two crying kids and two screaming adults.
Fun.
“Satoru?” Suguru gasps out, apparently busy trying to keep a tight leash on his curses and Satoru stumbles.
Long distance teleportation really is a bitch.
“Suguru,” Satoru breathes out and grabs his arm, trying to steady himself. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s—why would you ask me that? You’re barging in here, making me think something is wrong,” Suguru gives right back, his voice shaking the tiniest bit and carefully angles himself in front of the kids as if he has to protect them from Satoru.
It only adds to the strangeness of this situation.
“Your energy—it’s not right. What’s going on?” Satoru says, hoping that it explains enough and that Suguru is not going to ask why he always keeps a close eye on his energy in the first place but Suguru doesn’t seem to care too much about that.
Something cruel passes over his face, almost turning it into a sneer and Satoru flinches back.
“Nothing is right, Satoru; don’t you see?” he hisses, pointing at the kids and the adults, some of Suguru’s curses still trying to escape his control and Satoru doesn’t really understand what’s going on at all.
“I see something going wrong,” he carefully admits because the kids look beaten and they are locked up in a cage but it doesn’t give him the bigger picture.
It doesn’t explain Suguru’s behaviour.
“Don’t you dare judge me,” Suguru bites out and that is so far from what Satoru was going to do that he doesn’t even understand where Suguru got that from.
But it seems they are not at all on the same page of this conversation and so Satoru takes a deep breath.
“Tell me what’s going on here. Explain it to me,” he says, taking a step back and giving Suguru space to breathe because he seems decidedly unwell.
Suguru takes a measured breath and then a second and third and then it all just comes tumbling out of him; not only what’s going on here, right now, but also everything that has been going on with him since they lost Riko. He speaks so fast he stumbles over his words more than once and with everything he says Satoru feels more and more sick.
He has missed so much. He thought he knew Suguru best, was tuned in to him but he has missed all of this turmoil and agony and Satoru hates himself a little bit for it.
Those thoughts are almost enough to drown out what Suguru is saying but Satoru forces himself to pay attention.
Suguru is opening up to him; he needs to listen, for once.
Suguru is talking about what Yuki said to him, what she entertained as a valid idea and while Satoru sees the merit of that thought, it’s also impossible for more than one reason.
“—and I’m going to burn it all down, starting with this village!” Suguru yells out at the end, breathing harshly and Satoru steps forward, tightly gripping Suguru’s arm.
“You’re not going to do that,” Satoru tells him, because if Suguru does any of that then that means he can never come back home and Satoru can’t have that.
And besides—
“It’s not going to work, Suguru,” Satoru tells him, because it’s not.
“Oh, right, of course you’d say that,” Suguru bitterly says and scoffs. “I’m not strong enough, right? Is that it?”
“That’s not it at all, Suguru, let me explain,” Satoru bursts out because how dare Suguru think that he’s not as strong as Satoru. “It’s not a good way to go about this. You want to take those girls with you, yeah? And then kill every non-sorcerer so that no curses can be born again?” he sums up Suguru’s big talk and only goes on when Suguru nods. “So you want to make breeding machines out of the girls?” Satoru asks then, deliberately blunt and cruel and Suguru flinches.
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Where do you think new sorcerers are going to come from when you kill off every human? You’d need to breed new ones and who is going to do that? It’s not as if the pool is going to be very big, especially not at first. That would mean those girls there? They’d have to have at least a couple of kids each.”
“Satoru,” Suguru says, clearly appalled by what Satoru says.
“No, listen to me. Listen, Suguru,” Satoru implores him because there’s a better way to go about this. It might just take just as long as what Suguru is currently entertaining but it wouldn’t take Suguru from his side. “Some sorcerer parents birth normal humans. What are you going to do if that happens to them?” He nods towards the girls. “Are you going to take their kids and kill them, too? And you know better than anyone that sorcerers can be born to non-sorcerer parents. It happens like that more often than not, outside of the big Clans. You’re going to slow down our growth like that!”
“Then what would you have me do?” Suguru screams right in his face and Satoru thinks he prefers this anger over whatever manic energy was driving him before.
Satoru takes a few deep breaths before he lays out his own plan. He didn’t think to share it yet, wasn’t sure if Suguru would be on board and so he kept quiet about it but Satoru now sees where he went wrong.
He should have told Suguru from the very start, to let him know that he wasn’t alone, that the system is fucked all the way up and that Satoru intended to change things.
Maybe it would have helped with Suguru’s agony.
“The higher-ups—”
“Gods, Satoru, give me a break,” Suguru interrupts him, not even letting him finish his first sentence. “They don’t care about you. They are not going to listen.”
“—need to go,” Satoru goes on as if Suguru hadn’t just interrupted him.
He gives him a mean smile when Suguru gapes at him.
“What? You think I don’t know that they don’t care? I know it better than anyone, Suguru. The higher-ups, the clans—they are all rotten down to the core. They don’t see the person. They just see what you can do for them. They see me as the bearer of the Six Eyes, as the one who inherited both techniques. My family very rarely sees me as a Gojo and even that only because it allows them to boast with the fact that I am one of them. No one there has ever seen me as Satoru, has seen me as human. And they are not going to start any time soon; not with me and certainly not with anyone else.”
“So what? You want to kill them?” Suguru sneers out, clearly not believing that Satoru could go down that path.
“Yes,” Satoru simply says and holds Suguru’s gaze. “They have to go. The higher-ups at least. The Clans we’d have to see. Some of the younger members might be open to our cause, that needs to be checked out first. But the older ones? They all have to go.”
“It would wage war,” Suguru says and Satoru shrugs.
“We just have to time it right. I’m not saying we do it right now. It will take some time still. We have to see who would support us, which older sorcerers would be on our side. We can’t build it all up from scratch, we need experienced people.”
“And the school?” Suguru asks and Satoru is glad to see that he at least seems to have some sort of attachment to it.
“It has to stay,” Satoru gives back. “We need it for training, for education. But things have to change there, too.”
“The grading system of curses,” Suguru slowly says, clearly getting into the idea now as well and Satoru breathes a little bit easier to see him lose some of that manic energy, turning it into something more productive, the cogs in his brain starting to turn.
“It’s dog-shit,” Satoru agrees and sees the corner of Suguru’s mouth twitch. “I mean, come on, how many Grade 2 curses or lower have you been sent after this month?”
“Too many,” Suguru agrees, because of course.
Sometimes Satoru wonders if the higher-ups are misgrading the curses on purpose but he can’t figure out why they would do that.
“It’s not acceptable that we’re being sent after curses everyone else can handle while—” Satoru briefly stumbles over the name and he sees Suguru flinch, too “—Haibara has to go up against a local deity. It’s not right and there has to be a more accurate way to grade them. Or missions should only ever be carried out in teams, one lower grade sorcerer and one higher grade. There have to be ways to prevent these stupid useless losses.”
“Teaming up sounds like a good idea; it would mitigate any potential misgrading and it would allow them to get away if things go to shit,” Suguru nods, now clearly completely focused on what Satoru is saying.
Satoru wants to weep with how relieved he is, but he has to make sure that he’s not going to lose Suguru again.
“And we need a more reliable way to find sorcerers born to non-sorcerers,” Suguru says, already skipping ahead to Satoru’s next point.
He’s going to point out just how alike they think with glee later, because right now he’s too scared to interrupt Suguru and make him spiral again.
“There either has to be a way to detect them somehow or we have to subtly let the public know about curses so that kids who can see them don’t feel ashamed or scared and know where to go.”
Satoru winces when Suguru raises an eyebrow at him.
“It’s a work in progress, shut up. I wasn’t ready to talk about any of this yet,” Satoru defends himself and Suguru’s face softens the slightest bit.
“Then why did you?” he wants to know and Satoru blinks incredulously at him, as if the answer isn’t entirely obvious.
“Because I was losing you,” he plainly gives back. “I should have known you weren’t happy with the system either, but I didn’t expect you to go down such a different path. And I can’t lose you, ever,” he states, because he can’t.
Despite everything, Suguru is the only one who has ever seen him as human, who has ever been his friend, his partner, his everything, and there is no way in hell Satoru is going to let him go down a path that would separate them.
“I wasn’t—” Suguru starts as if he didn’t plan to level this entire village to the ground just mere minutes ago and he bites his tongue, clearly noticing his slip up when his eyes fall on the cowered humans in the corner. “Okay, yeah, I was,” he breathes out and slumps where he stands.
Satoru allows himself to step forward, so Suguru can rest against him, his head heavy on Satoru’s shoulder.
“The girls are sorcerers, I gather?” Satoru whispers, reaching up to scratch at Suguru’s neck and he hums when Suguru nods. “Case in point, then. We fucking need a better way to find them,” Satoru hisses out, his eyes sliding over to the silently crying kids.
“Suguru, we have to get them out of here.”
While Satoru is looking at the kids, Suguru is looking at the adults, Satoru can tell. There’s a hatred rolling off him that he isn’t used to and in all honesty, Satoru isn’t sure he wants to stop Suguru from what he’s going to say next.
“These two—I can’t let them go,” Suguru mutters, confessing it to Satoru as if this is his gravest sin and Satoru huffs out a laugh because he couldn’t care less about these two.
They don’t matter in the grand scheme of things and non-sorcerers die all the time during their fights with curses.
“A second curse, attacking us while we’re trying to get the kids to safety is not out of the realm of possibility,” Satoru carelessly says. “And who knows what we have to do to protect the girls, right?”
It’s a peace offering as much as everything else Satoru has said today; he hopes he can make Suguru understand his own rage, his own feeling of helplessness in face of the rules of the higher-ups and he knows Suguru understands when he turns his head, buries it into Satoru’s throat.
“You don’t mind?”
Now that really makes Satoru laugh.
“Suguru, might I remind you that I was this close to slaughtering many more people than these measly two and that I only didn’t do it because you said no? I would not have hesitated had you even so much as faltered in your answer,” Satoru honestly replies, because it’s nothing but the truth.
He wouldn’t have held back and he wouldn’t have felt bad about it, either.
Just like Suguru won’t feel bad about these two.
“So, not everyone but—some?” Suguru asks and Satoru sighs.
“Suguru, did you not listen? I said the higher-ups and most of the Clan members have to go. Where do you think they are supposed to go? A happy little island? I intend to send them straight to hell, so please. I’m not going to lose any sleep over those two over there. Are you?”
“Hell no,” Suguru decides and Satoru briefly feels cold when Suguru pulls away, but that feeling is quickly chased away when Suguru leans in to press a kiss to the corner of Satoru’s mouth. “Thank you,” he breathes out just as he lets out one of his curses who swallows the non-sorcerers whole.
“You always clean up so nicely after yourself,” Satoru notes as he moves over to the cage and breaks the lock.
“Gonna keep the fussing to a minimum,” Suguru says as he comes after Satoru, briefly carding his fingers through his hair before he crouches down to meet the girls. “You’re going to come with us, is that alright?” he softly asks and Satoru could weep because this is the Suguru he knows now.
He can’t help himself, he just as to lean in and press a kiss to Suguru’s cheek because mere minutes ago he was certain he’d lose Suguru and now they are finally on the same page. About more than one thing it seems, judging by the sly smile Suguru throws him but for now Satoru decides to concentrate on the girls.
They need medical attention and most of all they need to get out of the cage and out of this village.
And Suguru and Satoru will make sure that they have a better future before them.
I've decided i will allow myself one starfield post so I do not burst so here are my thoughts
Let me give my crew a hug or just some kind words or a greeting, and allow me to say goodbye or an "welp, guess I gotta go" instead of just leaving, they always sounds so disappointed when we stop talking. I know I am.
LET ME GIVE CORA COE BOOKS I STG I WILL FIND YOU TODD HOWARD
I need more stuff to put on the back of my ship, it's just some engines and squares and some stuff that looks like engines (I run a uscss nostromo replica, from alien (the franchise))
Give me the exact parts to make the Pelican from halo. It's not a want but a need, Todd,
Guys if you're playing starfield and in the epsilon eridani system, check the caves on reach, for noble six. Idc if he's not there I will never stop looking
Let. Me. Give. Cora. Coe. Books. Todd.
I want more space in the ship builder. Definitely not to re create Garfield as a space ship, I want it for normal reasons like...uh... recreating the battlestar galactica. Yeah... definitely
Let me arrest people in freestar space instead of blowing up their ship or boarding and killing them. My character is a mute mass murder with a friendly face, smile who is always the kindest they can be. Who's a great person who has resolved so many conflicts peacefully, and saved lives, but I've also killed over 300 people because they're labeled as "bad guy pirates" who are NOT people with lives and families to support. Anyway moving on
WHY IS IT SO MANY SKILL POINTS TO GET MORE CREW I JUST WANT ALL MY SCRUNGLIES ON MY SHIP AT ONCE (except heller and lin, I'm making my first and only outpost just for them lol it's gonna be on starfields planet reach (epsilon eridani II I believe, maybe it's III or I, but it's definitely epsilon eridani because that's where reach is in halo lore).
I've collected so many books let me give them to Cora, Todd Howard from Bethesda,
Honestly I don't mind the not being able to travel freely but there is just TOO MANY MENUS to finally travel somewhere. Especially when I haven't been there before and have to do it
I also don't mind the state of planet exploration BUT I am not saying you shouldn't complain. This isn't an indie company with 1 guy 5 dollars and a pizza (that's the state of the UNSC pr office lmao @oni-official) it's a part of the biggest company in gaming and should not be free from criticism, but also don't go after the devs ovbiously
I'll reblog this with more thoughts when I have them. If you haven't noticed I'm bad at sticking to what I say and should stop saying things.
Considering the amount of build-up that we had leading to DH, we all saw that Umbridge didn't need to be a Death Eater to be a terrible, vicious monster and that Peter didn't need to be a Slytherin to be a traitor. We saw the turmoil that Draco endured over serving Voldemort, we were told that Barty Crouch Sr. employed many of the same methods that the Death Eaters did while ostensibly being on the Light side, we were shown that the Ministry was corrupt, we were shown that Snape could actually be working for Dumbledore all along, and so on and so forth. So, one could think that there was an intentional moral ambiguity in the wizarding world, that perhaps we were invited to feel sympathy for some of the bad guys.
Yet by the end of the series, a lot of it didn't go anywhere. Draco never had a definitive moment where he decisively switched over to Harry's side and deliberately cooperated with Harry and his friends, thus making amends for his past behavior. If anybody asks about his hesitation to name Harry or his unwillingness to commit murder, some fans will say that it's just because he's a coward. Harry and Peter never had the moment where Harry finally saw that his good deed in PoA paid off, because Peter was strangled by his silver hand before he could save Harry or do anything else that was possibly redemptive. Tom Riddle's background was similar to Harry's, but in the end, such similarities didn't matter. Not for the good reason, which would be that Harry had chosen to do the right thing while Tom had made bad decisions, therefore any of Harry's fears about becoming Tom would become unfounded. No, because Tom was apparently doomed to be a sociopath from birth, so it really didn't matter if he grew up in an orphanage, a palace, or in the suburbs.
The most frustrating thing about it is that none of the 'bad' characters that JKR half-heartedly gave depth to ever do the right thing for selfless reasons. Draco? He's only worried about his family and about saving his own skin. Regulus? The Dark Lord hurt his house-elf. Severus? Voldemort was going to kill (and eventually did kill) Lily. Peter? He was a coward. None of them ever rebel against Voldemort because they realize that what he and the Death Eaters are doing is wrong, that the whole pureblood-supremacist, anti-Muggle mindset is *wrong* (or, if they do, we don't get to hear about it).
I like how in other religions when you do something wrong it’s like “this old guy is really angry at you now” but in acient Greece you cheat on your wife? “Zeus would be proud.” You came home completely wasted? “Blame this Dionysus guy.” You accidentally shoot your best friend? “At least Athena did it too and she’s like really really smart.”
Harry Potter and Welcome to the World of Grey by sobsicles
so so so good! i spent basically the majority of the day reading this and finished it in that time and omfg the ROLLERCOASTER i have been on.
i went from laughing ACTUAL laughs to genuinely just sobbing- within the space of a single chapter.
reluctant guardian fics are my weakness anyway but the way this fic was written and just UGHHH everything made it perfect.
the characterisation, the morality, the FEELINGS!!! just made it seem so real and amazing and just so good!!!
pls pls pls go and read it bc like it’s needed.
and ik there’s gonna be a load of ppl annoyed bc drarry or guardian!voldie etc but cmon i couldn’t be annoyed if i tried to find problems with it bc of the way harry struggled with it too like get over it or just don’t read it xx
anyway
ITS SO GOOD PLS GO JUST BINGE IT PLS
(also i put effort into the tags and they’re rlly very fun to write and might acc give u a better idea of the fic than my rec so read them x)
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
TW: Bl00d, depctions of d3ath, murd3r
Donatello Hamato has always been somewhat... morally questionable. His brothers knew this; he knew this; anyone who knew him for more than five minutes knew this. However, this does not mean he doesn't care. He cares in his own way. So, after he and his brothers became the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, he decided to take precautions against the more dangerous people they fight—permanent precautions. To be fair to him, he didn't immediately jump to murder. It fell in his lap as an option after a series of unfortunate events gave him the opportunity.
Donatello and his brothers separated during a fight with a new mutant, Meat Sweats. His intention was not to kill him, but he had to act in self-defense. As the fight with Meat Sweats (what a dumb name) wore on, he let himself go from practiced ninjutsu to a more feral approach. Clawing, biting, he even hissed a few times. He pulled all the stops. Eventually, Meat Sweats slowed down, bleeding more and more. His movements became more sluggish. Then, he just dropped. He stopped breathing. It dawned on Donnie, then, that he had murdered someone. He had taken someone else's life and didn't feel bad about it. Donnie was only thinking of how he'd explain it to his brothers.
I’ve rewatched “Galaxy’s Child” (Star Trek: The Next Generation, season 4, episode 16). In this episode we discuss our favourite topic: if holodeck’s for porn, how far can we go, especially with real people. Sending my regards to Barclay. Do you remember how Geordi made a holo-program of the Utopia Planitia lab and Doctor Brahms – and they’ve solved the problem, but he fell in love with the hologram and it gave him a small speech: “Every time you look at this engine, you're looking at me”, - and so on. Well, Doctor Brahms came on board to see La Forge’s engine modifications. Of course, she knows nothing about him and he knows everything about her. At least he thinks so. She’s very different from the hologram and she’s also married. Some odd Star Trek stuff happens and they have to modify the energy of the engine, or something and Geordi tells her to look for the files in the computer. She finds the holo-program and the holo-version of herself. She’s furious and she has all the rights to be! Geordi shouts at her, says that the only crime he’s guilty of was offering her friendship and bursts out. Seriously? Later they deal with the energy problem together and when everything is behind and hang out in “Ten Forward”. She apologizes. You don’t owe him any apologies! He does! Doctor Brahms could have overreacted, but who wouldn’t? Imagine: you meet an officer, who seems to know everything about you, even some very personal stuff, he makes advances to you and then you find a hologram of yourself saying: “Every time you touch it (the engine), it's me”. How would you feel? I don’t like the morals of that episode, she’s definitely not to blame.
