If you are a Domme unsure if you are still experiencing Top Drop (or Domme Drop): Close your eyes and imagine the following scene. (Please stop at any point if you feel the need, for your own mental health, but answer the following bolded question.)
———
SLAM; your shoulder connects with the outside of the bedroom door, and the connection fails right where you directed, and you barge in. The door swings and clamors back slightly off the wall, your head is covered in an opaque mask, you unhesitatingly charge forward toward the bed.
Your partner (who was previously fully informed and consented to your previously-agreed-upon actions, and also, notably, actively, continuously consents via not using a known safe word), in response to your actions:
Simply SCREAMS at the top of their lungs, with the most terrified & panicked expression you’ve ever seen them make melt across their face, all while every last movement of their body language signals their instinctive recoil in blood-curdling terror.
———
QUESTION: How does this make you feel?
———
Option A: I either wanted to stop reading, or I was lightly scared, or more worried of their mental state. I want to comfort, help, and calm. I not only want to guarantee safety, but also confirm that they know this is just play, and not real. I’d probably remove my mask to remind them of this, and sit down and reassure, or maybe back away so they don’t feel claustrophobic. I would not likely want to continue, at least not immediately. (I might also check the door is okay!)
Option B: I feel my blood fucking BOIL. I not only want to make them afraid again (or maybe even perpetuate how long they can’t help but show that beautiful, terrified expression), but also have that emotion seep so deep into their mental state that they (1) fall frictionlessly into subspace and (2) even question if they are actually scared in reality or not. I want them to simmer in that previously-agreed-upon limit-play that makes their finger twitch deliciously over the “Safe Word Out” button. I want to stoke the fire in my chest, and I consensually will take every last thing I want from them to do so.
———
If you said Option A:
You are still experiencing Top Drop. You are the one in dire need of reassurance and comfort, and likely NOT your partner. Do not attempt to continue seeking any kind of hard D/s roleplay, as doing so would still be dangerous to your own mental health. Seek aftercare, or rest if you have already had that secured. Meditate or seek any safe counseling for the knowledge that what you discussed and consented to previously was all a fully-consensual, FICTIONAL event that hurt no-one in real life. Do this BEFORE continuing to a New consensual fictional event (or trying to re-start the current one.) Repeat Scream Test Thought Experiment only after a minimum of 24 HOURS for your own mental safety.
If you said Option B:
Continue with your plans. You are likely not experiencing Top Drop.
The people have spoken and the people like kinky comic! Goldenheart lmao. It's sneak peek time (in reference to this post)
CW: sex, kink, BDSM practices
!!!! Everything you are about to read is fully consensual between the characters!!!!
So I'm planning to have three sections to this fic exploring the kink dynamics- the scene itself, aftercare, and top drop (because I thought it would be interesting and fun to explore hehe) so I included a peek from each one ;)
Eddie was brighter than the sunbeams shining through the curtains in his bedroom, and Steve was never happier to be blinded by light.
Steve wasn’t woken by his alarm. Instead, he was woken by soft kisses against his neck and jaw, breathy whispers he couldn’t quite understand making him shiver under the sheets.
It was more than Steve had ever had, more than he ever expected, and more than he thought he deserved. But he smiled into it. He let himself bask in Eddie’s light.
------------------------------------
Eddie had a full day of clients, and Steve ended up in more parent conferences than he planned as new schedules for the next semester got released.
He barely even had a lunch break, and most of it was spent texting Robin about their plans after work.
He didn’t purposely avoid looking at the text from Eddie sitting there unread, but he knew if he opened it, he would yearn to be back with him too much.
The space would be good for him to clear his head a little, separate himself from the intensity of his emotions that Eddie brought on. Take himself out of the shock of feeling so much at once and find the level headedness he was used to having.
He tried not to think about how Eddie didn’t give him any rules before he left this morning.
------------------------------------
Steve was not having a good afternoon.
His last conference of the day left his head spinning. The principal had to sit in towards the end as the parents became more irate at the fact that their son was failing almost every class and Steve couldn’t be bribed to change his grades in the system.
This was the worst part of the job.
Everything was loud.
He didn’t know how to make it quiet.
He left work with a ringing in his ear and a tension in his neck and shoulders that hadn’t been present for days and wondering how he’d be able to face the conversation ahead of him.
------------------------------------
The door opened and Steve nearly fell off the couch.
He must have fallen asleep when he decided to rest for a few minutes when he got home.
“You good?” Robin asked from above him. She had an amused smirk on her face, but he could see the concern in her eyes.
“Yep. Just didn’t realize it was time for you to be home.”
Steve stood up and shook his arms out to wake himself up, something he’d done since he was young to get the blood pumping.
“I’m guessing you haven’t seen my text about dinner, then?”
“No, why?”
Steve reached into his pocket for his phone as Robin sat down.
“Pizza place had a fire, so we need a backup. Any ideas?”
Steve felt his heart stop when he saw a missed call from Eddie. Shit, he really was out of it.
“Uh. I’m good with anything.”
He could feel Robin staring at him, but he was still trying to get all synapses firing in his brain and couldn’t quite look away from his phone.
“So you’d be good with tofu and sushi?”
Steve’s head snapped up, lip curling in disgust.
“What? Since when would I be okay with that? I hate tofu and sushi.”
“Just checking to see if you were actually paying attention or if you’d been body snatched.”
Steve rolled his eyes, but put his phone back in his pocket for the moment. Tonight was about Robin, and Eddie could wait.
“Burgers?” Steve suggested, knowing Robin was always down for burgers.
“Burgers sound good. My usual please?”
“Got it.”
Robin started to walk towards the bathroom, but turned before she made it to the door.
“Text Eddie that you’re okay. He was worried.”
Steve felt his mouth open in shock.
“He texted you?”
“He called me. Said he hadn’t heard from you at lunch and he was supposed to.”
Oh, so the rule was still there.
“Oh. Okay.”
Robin shook her head and mumbled to herself as she walked into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. It sounded an awful lot like “idiots, both idiots” but Steve wasn’t sure.
He called in their order for burgers first, knowing that the dinner rush, even on a Tuesday, would have at least an hour wait for delivery.
He pulled up his texts and saw two from Eddie: the one from this morning he didn’t have time to respond to and one from right after he tried calling.
Don’t forget to be a good boy and text me at lunch, sunshine.
Please let me know you’re doing okay, Stevie. Just a quick text is fine. I know you’re gonna be with Robin tonight, but I wanna make sure you haven’t dropped. Please.
Shit. Dammit.
He immediately started typing a response, worried that Eddie was dropping. Could he drop? Surely he would have told Steve if that was a possibility. Right?
I’m okay. I’m sorry. It’s been a busy day and I didn’t know you wanted me to stick to the rules still. Are you okay?
His leg was bouncing as he waited for Eddie to reply, getting faster when he saw the typing bubbles appear.
I’m better now. We can talk later when you’re done hanging out with Robin, okay?
Are you mad?
No, was just worried. Have fun with Robin.
It felt like a dismissal, and he knew that Eddie didn’t mean it unkindly, but his head started to spin with the idea that maybe that was the final straw for him.
Before he could spiral, Robin came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her head and her comfiest pajamas on. She took one look at him and sighed.
“Let’s talk while we wait for food.”
They both sat on the couch, Robin’s feet finding their way into Steve’s lap, his hands resting on her ankles.
“So. Let me start by saying sorry again. I’m not sorry for being worried, but I am sorry for how I spoke to you. I should have waited to talk in person and I shouldn’t have made you feel like you don’t know how to handle yourself or that you’re a bother.”
Oh God, her voice was shaking. Was she gonna cry? She never cried.
“Robs, it’s okay. I get it. I’m glad I have you to worry about me, okay?” He squeezed her ankle and she sniffled. “I wish it didn’t happen that way, but it does show we have to talk about this. I think I need to unpack a bit with you actually.”
“You, Steve Harrington, need to unpack your feelings?” She reached out to check his temperature. “Are you sure you haven’t been body snatched?”
“I’m sure. There’s just a lot to catch you up on.”
He spent the next 30 minutes breaking down everything that happened from the moment he walked into Eddie’s tattoo shop on Saturday to the text exchange that happened right before Robin came out of the shower.
“Well, you’ve certainly found your way into something interesting.”
Steve groaned and threw his head back to rest against the back of the couch.
“It doesn’t make any fucking sense what I’m about to say and I need you to just let me say it out loud so I can recognize how fucking stupid it is.”
“Okay.”
“I think I love him.”
Robin didn’t react, but Steve knew she wanted to. She was being the best friend ever and letting him sit with it out in the open like that on his own first.
“I’m waiting for my brain to say that I didn’t mean that.”
“Okay.”
They both sat in silence for a minute, two.
“Fuck, I love him.”
“Steve, this is. I mean I’m not a professional at these types of relationships, but could it just be the whole subspace thing?”
“I mean, yeah? I guess? But it just doesn’t feel that way. The way he makes me feel all the time, not just when he’s making me float, it’s better than anyone’s ever made me feel. I can’t explain it and I’m gonna sound crazy if I try.”
“Try anyways.”
Steve sighed. Robin wouldn’t end this conversation without understanding him, so he had no choice.
“It’s just. I feel safe. Even before the tattoo started, I felt safe. Something about the way he just is. He calls me sunshine, but he’s the one burning bright. It’s like we don’t have to know everything about each other to know each other. God, this sounds stupid.” He covered his face with his hands and was shocked to find that he was crying. “It’s more than just wanting to be with him, it’s like I know I can be myself, my best self, if he’s around. Like I can let go of everything I’ve spent most of my life trying to be and just. Be.”
Robin’s eyes were wide as she took in Steve’s demeanor. He was serious, and he was crying.
“Listen to me, Steve.” Steve looked back at her as he wiped the tears from his eyes. “How you feel is how you feel. Do I think it’s a little crazy? Yeah. But I’ve never seen you like this, and you’ve had plenty of opportunities to. You weren’t even like this with Nancy and you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her.”
“I don’t think I loved Nancy like this.”
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah. Holy shit.”
They both sat in silence again, both taking in what was said, both realizing that Steve was in deep.
“Alright! Here’s what we do!”
Robin was cut off by her phone ringing, which was odd.
There was a knock at the door at the same time.
“I’ll get the door, you get your phone.”
Steve got up to grab their food as Robin answered her phone.
He was so focused on making sure the delivery person got a good tip, he didn’t hear what Robin was saying.
“Robs! Hurry before it gets cold!” Steve yelled as if she’d left the room, but she was sitting on the couch whispering into the phone.
“Robs? Everything okay?” He asked as he walked back over to the couch to make sure she was okay.
“Okay, I’ll tell him. I will! I’ll text you. Okay. Bye.”
When Robin hung up, Steve had a sinking feeling in his stomach that he couldn’t explain. Something was wrong.
“Sit.”
Steve sat.
“Look at me.”
Steve looked at her.
“This is not your fault, you understand?”
“Uh. Okay.”
“I need you to say it.”
“It’s not my fault.” Steve breathed in. “What’s not my fault?”
“That was Chrissy. You know Eddie’s friend? She’s the Chrissy I work with. Small world or whatever.” Robin was gonna start rambling. Oh god. “So she’s at Eddie’s. Apparently he had to reschedule his last client tonight and when she showed up at his house, he was a mess. Mid-panic attack and didn’t even know she came in the house. She got him to calm down enough to drink some tea on the couch, but all he’s said is he fucked up with you. Any clue what he’s talking about?”
Steve felt his stomach turn. Eddie fucked up? What could he have done?
“I don’t know. Everything was fine. He seemed a little off during the texts, but he said we’d talk later.”
“Off how?”
“I dunno! Just really formal and short? Not like he usually is.”
“Chrissy thinks he’s going through a dom drop.”
Fuck. That’s what Steve feared, but he didn’t know for sure if it was even possible.
He should’ve called him when he seemed off. No, he should’ve texted him at lunch. He could’ve taken ten seconds to send a quick message.
But he didn’t think about the rule. The one rule Eddie had given. Maybe they hadn’t discussed it being a standing rule, but Steve should’ve assumed he’d like a check in after what they did last night.
“You’re allowed to love him. Things may end badly, or you may be in deeper than he is, or there may come a point where this wears off for you. But for now, if you love him, then love him with all you’ve got.”
Steve nodded, giving her a quick hug before he threw his shoes on and left.
Eddie needed him and he was going to love him through it.
------------------------------------
When he arrived at Eddie’s house, he saw that all except one light was off, and the door was unlocked.
Robin must’ve called Chrissy to let her know he was coming.
When he walked inside, the house felt cold.
This wasn’t the same house that made him feel warm, content, happy.
He saw Chrissy first, sitting on the couch next to a blanket burrito which could only contain Eddie.
Whatever nerves he’d been feeling on the drive over disappeared when he heard what Chrissy was saying.
“He’s on his way and you’ll see that he’s okay. Robin said he just had a really busy day, remember?”
“But he didn’t follow the rule.”
“Babes, he probably didn’t think he had to. You said he’s new at this, right? If you didn’t remind him, then he probably just was busy.”
“I was.”
Steve spoke and the air changed. It didn’t stop being cold, but there was a new pressure to it, and he knew that Eddie heard him.
“Thank god,” Chrissy said as she stood up. “I’m clocking out. This guy needs you. You know what to do?”
“Um. I googled. I think I can handle it.”
“Call if you need me. I’ve gotten him through one before so I know what works if you can’t handle it,” she gave him a tired smile. “Chrissy, by the way.”
“Steve.”
“Eddie, Steve’s got you now, okay? But call if you need me.”
“Okay.”
His voice was raspy, not at all the usual strong, upbeat tone he had.
As Chrissy left the house, Steve walked over to the couch. Eddie had removed the blanket from around him, but was still curled in on himself in a way Steve didn’t think was possible. Not for Eddie.
“Eds? Can I sit with you?”
Eddie nodded, but otherwise didn’t move. Steve sat where Chrissy previously was, quickly resting his hand on Eddie’s back.
Eddie seemed to relax a bit at the touch, a small sigh released from his mouth.
“Wanna tell me what’s going on in your head, babe?”
Eddie shook his head.
“That’s okay. I can just keep you company. Do you need anything?”
Eddie shook his head again.
“Do you want to cuddle?”
Eddie nodded, but seemed to hesitate for a moment.
“What is it?”
This was hard. He didn’t know how Eddie handled him when he was pretty much nonverbal.
“Can you lay in my lap?”
How would anyone say no to that?
“I’d love to.”
Eddie slowly unfurled from the nearly perfect spiral he’d been curled into, resting his feet on the floor and stretching his back out. He groaned when something popped, but it seemed to help him relax a little more.
Steve slowly lay down across the couch, placing his head in Eddie’s lap so he was looking up at his face.
Eddie’s hand found his cheek like a magnet, rubbing his thumb along his jaw while he looked down at him like he was a miracle.
No one had ever looked at Steve like that.
It was a lot to cope with.
He stayed still, letting Eddie touch and look, some part of him knowing that he needed this and that it would help. Eddie’s hand glided over his exposed skin for long minutes, tracing along his freckles on his neck and collarbone, his arms, even the tattoo he inked into his skin only a few days ago.
So much has changed since then.
Eddie let out a small whine, and Steve reached one hand out to hold his, squeezing as a reminder that he was here and he wasn’t going anywhere.
“Right here, Eds. You with me?”
“Yeah.”
“What do you need, love?”
“Shirt off. Skin.”
Steve could do that. He could do whatever Eddie needed.
He started to sit up to take his shirt off when he felt a hand on his chest and Eddie whined again, looking down at Steve with hurt on his face.
“I have to move a little to take off my shirt. It’s only for a few seconds.”
“Please.”
He wasn’t sure what he was asking for, but Steve slowly sat up and turned to straddle Eddie’s lap. Eddie seemed okay with this movement, so Steve continued by removing his shirt quickly.
Eddie’s hands were on his bare hips before he even had the shirt off of his head. He couldn’t help the smile he gave when he felt Eddie relax a bit more into the couch.
He was taking care of Eddie and getting him through this one step at a time with barely any idea what he was doing. It felt good to know what he needed. Is this how Eddie felt with him all the time?
“Closer.”
Steve didn’t need to be told twice; He leaned in so he could let his face fall against Eddie’s neck, breathing in his cologne and weed scent.
He felt Eddie shakily breathe him in too, his nose resting in his hair by his temple.
“Smells good.”
Steve smiled against his skin.
“Took a shower when I got home from work. The shampoo is tropical breeze I think.”
Eddie didn’t answer, just took another breath, though this was stronger, more sure.
They stayed like that for a while, Steve slowly tracing fingers along Eddie’s chest and neck, letting him know he was physically here for whatever he needed.
Eventually, Eddie nudged Steve gently, making him remove his head from his body and pull away. He looked at Eddie, really looked at him, and saw some of the sunshine he was used to coming back behind his eyes.
“There you are.”
“Here I am.”
Steve cupped his cheek and leaned in to place a soft kiss on his lips, not wanting to make it anything more than a comforting peck.
Eddie let him, but his grip on Steve’s waist tightened momentarily like he was fighting the urge to kiss harder, longer, more.
“Sorry, sweetheart. I told Chrissy not to call. I didn’t even know she knew Robin.”
Eddie looked so apologetic, but he had nothing to apologize for. If his drop was anything like Steve’s, he had no control over what happened and Steve didn’t want him to feel like that all night.
“What happened, Eds? Was it just me not texting?”
Eddie looked nervous.
Oh no. This is it, he’s gonna break it off before it even gets started.
“That played a part in it, and not answering the call. But it was also just pushing myself at work more than I usually do in a day after what we did last night. After everything since Saturday, really. And then when the realization hit that I didn’t talk to you about the rule this morning, I felt like a bad dom. Just a mix of things.”
Steve let that sink in. That while it wasn’t all his fault, he was what started the negativity.
He’d been used to doing that for most of his life, bringing people down with him instead of leaving them be. He didn’t want that for Eddie. Eddie would be smart to end things with him.
But that’s not where this was going, Steve could tell from his next words.
“We have something I’ve never had before. I’m not used to such intense feelings over such a small scene or for anyone at all.” Eddie cupped Steve’s face between his hands, placing a kiss to his forehead before continuing. “What we’re doing here is more than anything I’ve done before and I think we haven’t had enough communication about what we’re doing. Can we talk about that?”
Steve nodded, mesmerized by the way Eddie bounced back so quickly, by the way he was looking at Steve like he loved him. He couldn’t possibly, but it seemed like he did.
“I know this is fast and unconventional. This isn’t how I usually do things and I don’t think it’s how you do things either. But maybe that’s a good thing. I’ve never wanted someone the way I want you. All the time. In every way.” Eddie had tears in his eyes. “It’s fucking terrifying. Especially after today and knowing that such a small thing made me drop. I’ve only dropped a couple of times and those were because of really intense scenes that I wasn’t properly prepared for. But I guess I’m never really prepared for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Every time I think I can handle my feelings for you, you do or say something that has me falling head over heels and I don’t know what to do about it, sunshine.”
Steve could feel the heat rising on his face, the blush on his cheeks deepening to an almost painful level. Eddie really cared for him.
“What do we do to stop you from dropping?”
“First, we have to set clear rules and boundaries for each scene and for our relationship.”
“Relationship?”
Eddie smirked.
“I just confessed that I have intense feelings for you, did you think I wasn’t wanting to make you mine?”
If Steve could breathe, he’s sure he would choke on the air.
“You want me to be yours?”
“I’d love for you to be mine and for me to be yours.”
“We haven’t even had a date yet.”
“Is that necessary when I’ve pressed a needle into your skin to make something permanent?”
“I guess not. But what if you don’t like me outside of…this?”
“That’s not possible, sunshine.”
“Not many people like me.”
“Not many people like me either.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
Eddie was a ball of sunshine, how could anyone not be in love with him when they talked to him?
“Well, I only have a couple good friends, Chrissy being one of them. My clients come to me because I’m good at what I do, but not because of anything else. I was the opposite of popular in school. My best friend until I was like, 13, was my Uncle Wayne.”
“But you’re so…nice.”
Eddie laughed. “Nice isn’t everything.”
“It is to me.”
Eddie poked at Steve’s bottom lip, which had somehow jutted out a bit during their talk.
“No need to be upset, sunshine. I’m doing just fine with what I’ve got, okay? Even better now that you’re around.”
“But I’m…me.”
“And you’re perfect to me.”
Steve’s brows furrowed, but Eddie traced along the line between them until it smoothed out.
“I feel the same about you, you know. Like you’re my sun, stars, my entire galaxy, and it doesn’t make any fucking sense because I didn’t even feel this way about the person I thought I wanted to marry! You hear how ridiculous that sounds? It’s been three days!”
Eddie pulled him in for another soft kiss, effectively calming him down again.
“I’m just worried that I’m so invested in whatever this is that I’m not seeing how badly it can end. I don’t want it to end. I want to be yours and I want you to be mine and I want to feel like this with you forever.”
“Then let’s do that.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Why not?”
“Because everything good ends! People don’t like me when I’m grumpy, which is always, and they leave! I couldn’t even convince Nancy to stay and she’s like me.”
Eddie looked like Steve had just punched him in the gut, his eyes wider and sadder than ever.
“Sweetheart, sometimes people just aren’t right for each other. But this feels right. You feel right.”
Steve let out a sob at his words. He’d been holding back for a while, and the concern that had built up from the moment Robin told him what was going on seemed to crash down on him.
Eddie was here, telling him how much he cared, telling him that he wants more. That he wants Steve. As he is.
No one had ever wanted Steve for him.
But Eddie didn’t know enough about his history of parents with more money than they knew what to do with, or his friends who pressured him into drinking every weekend until he couldn’t even recognize them, or the times he turned to getting high on whatever Tommy was on during high school just to feel something other than loneliness. He didn’t know that the times between Tommy and Robin, he tried to hide away from everyone, didn’t even bother leaving his apartment other than to go to classes he was almost failing for a solid year. He didn’t know that Steve nearly lost his chance at getting his degree when Nancy broke his heart because he couldn’t leave his bed.
He doesn’t know that Robin is pretty much the only reason he’s even here.
But he wants him. He may not when he knows all of that, but for now, he wants him. Still, he had to ask to be sure, to know he wasn’t just getting his hopes up for nothing.
“You want me?”
“I want you more than anything.”
“Then you have me.”
The way Eddie kissed him shattered his world and put it back together, leaving no question that he’d meant the words he said.
Hands were everywhere, soft until they weren’t, leaving bruises as remnants of their emotions.
Both of them gasped for air. Both of them dove right back in like they couldn’t bear to separate their lips for more than a few seconds.
If this was what it was like being Eddie’s, Steve never wanted to belong to anyone else.
➥ Learning Objective; To understand what Sub and Top Drop are, their symptoms, and how to avoid them.
Imagine this: you just had an intense and stimulating scene with your partner or partners. You enjoyed it to the fullest and communicated so during aftercare! It was excellent, but hours to days after, you get a creeping feeling of dread and despair. Why do you feel this way now if you enjoyed the scene so much?
You may be suffering from "Drop," an unpleasant physical or emotional experience that can occur after intense play. Drop can manifest within moments, hours, or even days after a scene.
This experience is more common in submissives and bottoms and is known as sub drop colloquially. However, dominants and tops may still experience Drop. This is called Top Drop in the Kink community.
In sexual play, especially BDSM, kinksters experience a rush of endorphins, adrenaline, and oxytocin. Drop is the shift and departure of these hormones from the body as they settle back to standard levels.
This shift can cause a wave of vastly individual symptoms, like cold hands or feet, nausea, general malaise, or other flu-like symptoms. It can also cause anxiety, shame, and confusion.
It is normal to experience Drop after an intense scene, but taking preventative measures is crucial to avoid it. First, make sure you have had something to eat. This can be a meal or a light snack if you intend to do anal.
Secondly, stay hydrated! Drink water before and after a scene! You could even incorporate drinking water into play. Thirdly, stretch or do yoga to prepare your muscles, especially if you will be doing bondage or spanking. Lastly, aftercare! We have a thread about it that is a great read!
In summary, Drop is an unpleasant physical or emotional experience that can occur after intense play. It is more common in submissives and bottoms. Kinksters experience a rush of endorphins, adrenaline, and oxytocin, and the shift in this can cause a wave of symptoms, including cold hands and feet, nausea, and general malaise. It is normal to experience Drop after an intense scene, but you can avoid it by eating a meal, staying hydrated, stretching, and doing yoga before and after play.
recently discovered what top drop is… has anyone here experienced anything similar during/after play time? what does it feel like? is handling it something u discuss beforehand with your play partner?? do i even have any fellow kink players in this space?? i need more
