Hope you like it, @stop-it-anxiety !
My hands were shaking and my eyes were sore and red from my most recent panic attack. I was on the floor of my private bathroom, drenched in sweat and tears. I was thinking about how long it’s been since I’ve eaten (I figured about four days) when I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I went from the bathroom and wiped the tears from my eyes. I didn’t have to try that hard to cover up when I had a panic attack, as the other sides had never really paid much attention to me. Of course with the exception of Patton, Thomas’s morality. He had always been too caring. He had always checked up on me and made sure I’d eaten a days worth of food. He would probably be shoving waffles down my throat if it hadn’t been for me storing all of the food in my mouth at meals and spitting it out the moment he left the room. Logan, on the other hand, didn’t have many deep emotions towards anyone, especially me. Though I do feel that he might have a little crush on Patton. But never mind that. I never felt a need to hide anything from Logan, seeing as besides the occasional “eat, you need to keep your immune system strong” he doesn’t seem to care. He’s all about facts. To him, I eat enough for me to stay alive. Then there’s Roman, who I feel like doesn’t really care about me at all. Even though I will NEVER say it to his face, I have to admit that I am impressed by him, as he always keeps a positive attitude. Though, I guess that’s expected, as he is Thomas’s creativity. I’ve always wanted to be positive, but that just doesn’t seem like me. I’m Anxiety, always the bad guy. Roman could never like someone like me.
Then another knock at the door. I groaned as I trudged over to the entrance and opened the door.
“What do you want Pa- Oh,” I looked up to see the prince staring at me.
“Virgil, I was just checking up on you,” he started. Why would he ever see if I’m okay? “I thought I had heard crying or something in here.” Roman let himself into my room and sat on my bed.
“Well, I’m fine now. I doubt you really care anyway about whatever I’m going through.” I pushed him back up and started opening the door for him.
“Virgil, I know you just kind of joined our little group, but all of us, me included, are worried about you. You haven’t been out of your room the past two days,” Roman sighed. He closed the door and stood in front of it. My only way of escaping besides the balcony was blocked. Guess I have to listen.
“Look, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Princey, but I don’t exactly fit in here very well. You shouldn’t even worry. I’m Anxiety, I experience a few emotional lapses every few weeks. Just leave me alone,”
“I’m tired of all of this angsty ‘leave me alone’ and ‘emotion lapses’ crap. You haven’t eaten in days, as far as me and the others can tell. So, like it or not, I’m making you dinner tonight and you will choke it down no matter how bad it is,” Roman demanded. I figured I’d just let him have this one thing.
“Fine. I’m only doing this for Patton though,” I grumbled.
“Whatever keeps you eating. And by the way, Patton and Logan are out for the night. They went to the movies and will be eating dinner at some fancy place,”
“Well, I guess that’s fine. Mom and Dad need their time alone,” I joked. To my surprise he actually laughed. Wow, that’s cute. Wait, what the hell am I thinking? Roman is not cute. He’s a narcissistic little prince. I found myself blushing anyway. The way he laughed almost took all of my last panic attack’s aftermath effects away.
“So, it’s almost six. We should start to make dinner. Wanna help, Virge?” Roman asked. He showed his puppy dog eyes.
“Whatever, I guess,” I kept my head down, trying to cover the blush seeping through my pale foundation. And to make matters worse, he grabbed my frickin’ hand. He flung the door open and pulled me through the hallway. “Let us go” he chanted as we ran to the kitchen. Well, this should be fun.
I was pulling Virgil into the dining room when I looked over to see him as red as my sash.
“What’s wrong? Why are you blushing? Aw, am I making you flustered?” I laughed. He didn’t answer, just blushed and covered his face even more. Whatever. He looked pretty attractive flustered. What am I thinking? Never mind. He’s a dark, emo nightmare. (But he could be my emo nightmare.) I pulled him into the kitchen, looking through the cupboard to see what we should cook.
“Have you ever cooked, Virgil?” I asked.
“No- No never in my life. Patton always cooks for me,” he seemed almost ashamed, covering his face.
“It’s alright, calm down. I can teach you. Why are you covering your face like that?” I moved closer to him, my face inches from his. I pulled down his hand from his face and put it in mine. When I realized what I was doing, I started blushing almost as much as he was. We started a standstill, staring into each other's eyes for almost a minute, I’m guessing. But it felt like forever.
“So, what are we cooking!” I almost yelled, pulling away from him.
“You tell me,” He moved to the counter getting ready to cook.
“How about some steak? Rare,” I said, knowing very well that it was Virgil’s favorite.
How did he know it was my favorite? It was probably just a coincidence. We started getting the ingredients together, brushing off what had just happened. It didn’t mean anything to him. It couldn’t have. He hates me. He says so all the time. I mean, it must mean something when he gives me all of those horrible nicknames.
It was awkward making dinner. There were no interactions between the occasional longing look and blushing every time we saw each other give it. Finally we finished, sitting down at the dinner table.
“This is actually pretty good, Princey,” I smirked at him, scarring down the food. It was amazing.
“Please, everything I do is great!” He boasted.
“Of course my dashing prince,” I swooned sarcastically. “Especially your nicknames for me. They are just great! They don’t make me feel like a raging dumpster fire and complete trash at all!” Shit, did I say that out loud? Princey’s eyes widened, soon replaced with a worried look.
My eyes widened by his remark. Did I really make him feel that bad? I thought I was just poking fun. I really care about him. I really do.
“Virgil, do I actually make you feel that way?” His eyes welled up with tears.
“Of course not, Roman,” He used my proper name. He never does that. “Just kidding, of course,” He finished. As soon as those four words came from his mouth, he reached his breaking point. He fell to his knees, failing at trying to hold back sobs. Yet, he looked up at me. And smiled.
“This doesn’t mean anything. You should probably go to your room, Roman. I’m fine, I swear,” Virgil said through choking sobs. I couldn’t bring myself to leave him. I knelt down onto the kitchen floor where he was laying and gently put my arm around him. He tensed at the contact, but soon melted into it. I whispered into his ear,
“I am so, so truly sorry for making you feel this way. I feel absolutely awful,” He just cried even harder, grabbing my sash in the process. I knew that I should be comforting him, but I couldn’t help feeling the least bit flustered from him being so close.
“Is there anything, anything, that I could do for you?” I asked, putting my hand on his chin and lifting his face to mine. We were almost kissing. I could feel his breath on my lips as he said,
“Could we, could we just watch a Disney movie or something?” Virgil asked with teary eyes. “And, don’t tell Logan and Patton about the panic attack, alright?”
“Of course, my Emo Nightmare,” I picked him up bridal-style causing him to squeak and grab a hold of my sash again. That was probably the cutest thing that he has ever done. I carefully laid him on the couch. And, much to my surprise, he cuddled into my chest. This was much different than he would normally address this kind of situation. I chuckled at his red face.
“So, what are we watching?” I asked him quietly.
“Something about dressing in drag and doing the hula,” He weakly laughed.
Roman and I cuddled and watched the Lion King. Well, I was watching his face for the most part. The way he reacted to each scene in the movie was priceless. I’ll admit it, he’s the cutest Prince I’ve ever seen. Somehow he looked so much better than me, even though we have the same face. I just can’t believe I had a panic attack in front of him. I couldn’t really control it though. All of Deciet’s words were just popping in my head.
You know he doesn’t love you.
Those names that Princey calls you are true.
I was just so surprised that Roman helped me. Maybe he likes me.
Never. No one but me ever will. You should never have left me, Virgil.
That’s probably true. Nevertheless, I clung to Roman for protection.
Time skip brought to you by Patton’s. Second. Cookie.
Me and Logie has just gotten back to the mind palace from our first date. Logan has recently told me that he was ‘attracted’ to me and that he would ‘like to take me for a romantic outing’, as he put it. Of course I said yes! Though I was worried about leaving the kiddos home alone together. I just know they have feelings for each other!
“Come on, My Star. Let’s go in the house,” Logan said.
“But first!” I kissed him SMACK DAB ON THE LIPS, pulling back to see a smiling, blushing dope. But as we opened the front door, I almost screeched. VIRGIL AND ROMAN VIRGIL AND ROMAN. We see Virgil with his hand around Roman’s sash and his face buried in his neck. Meanwhile, Roman was snoring quite loudly and protectively holding Virgil, both arms around him, as Virgil was almost on top of him. I took a picture (or maybe like three hundred) for blackmail purposes. Then, I quietly led Logan up to my room. Time for cuddles!!!
I woke up to find my arms around a pillow, in place of where my emo cuddle buddy was. I groaned and stretched out my arms, when I heard a cheery,
“Good morning!” Patton said.
“Morning, Padre,” I was still tired. Me and Virgil had probably fallen asleep at around twelve. Usually I don’t stay up that late. I need my beauty sleep.
“How was your night in with your boyfriend?” Patton said with a very exaggerated wink. UGG DAD.
“What, n-no. Me and Virgil aren’t dating, we are just friends…” I sighed.
“You like him, don’t you. YOU LIKE HIMMMMM. ROMAN!” Patton yelled.
“Quiet down, Dad. And no, of course not! Last night was just a flute,”
“A flute is a wind instrument and a fluke is an unlikely occurrence. Get your facts straight, Roman,” Logan walked into the living room with his book and opened to the middle.
“I can’t keep my facts straight. I’m not straight,”
“He’s not straight because of Virgillllll! My son has a boyfriend!!” Patton giggled.
“Nooooo. Me and him are not- whatever. I’m going to my room,” I trudged up to my room as Patton and Logan high-five. I went past the others’ rooms as I tried to get to mine. That is when I heard the singing.
Purple is Virgil Singing.
As Roman started to stir from his sleep, I got off of him and groggily went to my room. To be honest, for some reason I didn’t want to leave his arms. They almost comforted me. But I knew for a fact that Roman didn’t like me like that. I went into my room and picked up my guitar. I have always loved playing and singing. It was just such a good escape from my anxiety. Or myself, I guess. I picked up the guitar and tuned it. When I was satisfied, I strummed the first cord and started singing.
If I never felt this love
I would have no inkling of
For some reason I was in the mood for a love song. And Disney. I guess Roman had rubbed off on me.
I would never have a clue
How at last I'd find in you
I think I might like him. Why, though? He is a Prince. Too good for me. My head started spinning with thoughts dancing around in my head. Before I knew it, I was crying. But I continued nevertheless.
In this world so full of fear
I can see the truth so clear
I looked behind me and saw the man himself. He must have seen my tears. I went speechless.
And I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
He grabbed my hand and pulled me up from my desk chair and threw my guitar on the bed. He spun me around and started swaying with me in his arms.
I'd be safe but half as real
Never knowing I could feel
I choked out the words, since I was in awe of what was happening.
A love so strong and true
I'd have lived my whole life through
I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we made the whole world bright
I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong
All they'd leave us were these whispers in the night
But still my heart is singing
There's no moment I regret
If I never knew this love
I would have no inkling of
If our time has gone too fast I've lived at last
I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright
I thought our love would be so beautiful
We'd turn the darkness into light
And still my heart is singing
We danced back and forth to each other.
I'd have lived my whole life through
By the last line, I was a blushing mess and Roman was smirking, something I had never seen before. We started slow dancing, holding each other close.
And suddenly, he kissed me.
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