#touch hungry

[just-a-little-bit-of-sugar]

i need a cuddle so fucking bad

[dante-of-strawberry]

I tried to give my sibling a hug and she asked me if I was touch hungry

[degenerativeorbital]

i asked myself

will i ever be loved again

and it felt like my chest burst open

and sadness wept out of me

i suppose that’s a no

[undercoverprincessmandy]

TOUCH STARVATION - Shattered

When you remember old friends

who've fallen out of touch

Somehow

And realize,

It's not that you've forgotten them

they've forgotten you.

And it's not so much a forgetting

As it is willful abandonment

In the Knowing

That your burden is too heavy

Even for many hands

And a silent fading away

Before they are called on

To lean on.

The circles under your eyes feel like stamps,

Carving into your skin,

Leaving hollows in your eyes

Where light once was.

No one has seen you

truly seen you

In months

Because there's no time

For real conversation

Outside of a few stilted moments

Before you have to rush away

And everything is too painful

To try and fit into five minutes

In a grocery store

And you're left

Laying here

quietly wishing

to die

Derealization,

every response

a few seconds delayed.

The ache inside your chest, trying not to cry

There's lonely

And then there's bleeding

When a stranger brushing your arm

Feels like fireworks inside your stomach.

Panic and freedom intertwined into one.

Desperation

When you vomit until you cry

And the ones who come with medicine can't stay

But you'd do anything

Not to be alone.

anything, please don't go

Don't leave me with the silent static

Screaming in my head

Do you ever get that feeling

Like you want to go home?

But what you really mean

Is that you want to be small

And innocent

And safe

Cradled

Protected

Like you can fall

Like you can fail

Like you can heal

You're impervious

Yet I know

I'm still bleeding.

Oh, God, I just-

I just want-

I just want

to feel

Safe

again.

[the-nursewillseeyounow]

[into-the-spirals-of-my-eyes]

Is it possible to be touch-hungry yet touch-repulsive at the same time

[loathe-lurk-leer]

The rain pouring down outside sounds like I need my head in someone’s lap while they careen their fingers through my hair

[undercoverprincessmandy]

I'm not here for a hookup

Please sign me up for the one night Cuddles