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it's fully fucking crazy that li lun sets out to make zhuo yichen into himself and instead makes him into zhao yuanzhou. on every conceivable level that's nuts. what it says about how he sees himself, how he sees zhao yuanzhou. crazy. crazy!!
really enjoying the "i want x to happen; how do i achieve it" approach to writing these days. how do i embarrass zhao yuanzhou. how do i make zhao wan'er call zhao yuanzhou "ge." how do i keep li lun and zhao yuanzhou from understanding each other. not "they would never do that" but "what would it take for them to do that" you all know the one
i am thinking violence as intimacy thoughts today 😇
you should tell the people abt touchfic prequel 🎤
hehehe thanks cor 🥰 touchfic prequel is a prequel to my fof fic give me touch, which is about zhao yuanzhou suffering fatal touch starvation in the very very very early days of canon and being given the touch he needs by wen xiao, zhou yichen, and pei sijing. actually let me quote one of my favorite comments i have ever gotten:
touchfic prequel is about how treating zhao yuanzhou's touch starvation was always sexual with li lun 😊 in the worst way possible 😊 because they are unhealthy and bad for each other 😊 despite the love 😊
it takes place pre-canon, in the millennia that li lun and zhao yuanzhou were inseparable. heavily featuring fucked up sex, characters having two different conversations simultaneously, and zhao yuanzhou angst and whump. dual perspective doomed yaoi, as it were.
here's some of the fucked up sex:
Zhu Yan gives him nothing. None of the consideration he'd shown the other tree spirit. He hangs there, limp on Li Lun's cock, loose everywhere but his ass. Silent. Inconsiderate, Li Lun pulls back, then thrusts as hard and deep into Zhu Yan as possible at this angle. Zhu Yan is so tight that this must be worthy of a reaction. He gets nothing. Fine. Two can play this game. Li Lun takes his pleasure, an orgasm like a lightning strike to his trunk burning him up. It's like he cums everything he's ever felt into Zhu Yan's ass. An unfamiliar hollow feeling expands beneath his breastbone. He needs to fight. Or root. Or stare at the fucking ocean. Then he'll be normal again. After he's finished, he pulls out, slides his hands around the outside of Zhu Yan's thighs. About to drop him. He imagines Zhu Yan's knees skinned bloody. His hands spasm, tightening his grip. Kneeling, he sets the lower half of Zhu Yan's body against the earth. It gets him nothing. Zhu Yan doesn't make a sound. He stands. He can play this game as long as Zhu Yan can. Li Lun turns, and leaves Zhu Yan there.
young, sappy zyz calling sex "making love" unselfconsciously and earnestly. before the horrors
zhao wan'er was at least 300 when she died she told me herself she doesn't remember the exact age for sure but 300 minimum
father why have you forsaken me what do you mean i also need to make decisions about the events of touchfic prequel
no one ever telling li lun "you are yourself your problem right now" during his formative millennia is for sure why he's Like That
