Hot take: toughnut from HTTYD is trans

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Hot take: toughnut from HTTYD is trans
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(Uploaded April 2017)
Trouble breaks out at the March Hare as the hard hitting Mafia Boss guns down Trifong for the hat, only this time he has “other” forms of help.
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Stalemate
This week, in addition to my normal groceries, I decided to follow the advice of some health article I stumbled upon during a sorely expendable lecture and bought pistachios. The article suggested that one way to manage weight was to eat foods that "take work," i.e. breaking open pistachios. I had considered buying pistachios the week before, but ended up going home without them. Reading the article reignited my appetite for them and I decided to try out the suggestion. Well, I've been cracking and eating away about two-thirds of the bag (500g) now at a proud pace (never mind how long it's been since I opened the bag...), but there's a pistachio that has me stumped. Unlike it's buddies who have graciously split to reveal their green innards, or at the very least have opened a slight crack, this one is completely shut. I considered chomping it open with my molars... but after just fitting it between my teeth, I suspected I might chip a tooth on the stubborn pistachio shell. Waiting until some rare occasion in which I might have my hands on a nutcracker of some sort is probably the more rational route anyway. Buying a nutcracker may be most helpful. But the most probable is that it's just going to sit there untouched for the longest time. A chaste lil' nut. Destined to be forever my stale mate.
★ A tough nut to crack; @BeingSalmanKhan is every bit the stud Mirror reader Jasmine Kaur Anand imagined him to be, even though his shirt stayed on...!