#tough thoughts

[abdoelarabi]

لا تَسُبِّ الحب.

فأنتِ لَمْ تُعانِ مِنهُ.

لقد أخذتِ حلاوته كُلها.

وعندما إكتَفيْتِ؛ رَحلتِ.

أنا من عانيت بسببه، بسبب رحيلك، وتَخلِّيكِ عنه/ عني.

[shadowsfromvenus]

May Allah save me from myself coz I tripped and fell. This nasheed from Harris is so good & it's exactly what I've been praying and asking from Him - to save me from myself.

[abdoelarabi]

فلاشات من المستقبل

(لو عَلِمتُم الغيب، لأخترتم الواقع.) (عسى ان تكرهوا شيئاً و هو خيراً لكم.) (بالإضافة ان “لو” في حد ذاتها من عمل الشيطان.)

ساعات بشوف فلاشات من المستقبل،،

*بالمعنى الحرفي بشوف*

بشوف المشهد كما لو ان الحاجة حصلت او تمت زي ما انا حابب او كان نِفسي.

المهم لما شفت؛ شفت جحيم! او وجع قلب و مناهدة مستمرة لباقي العُمر.

كأن ربنا بيقول ليا اهو خليتك تشوف لمحات من المستقبل لو اللي عاوزه حصل، لسه مُصِرْ؟!!

الحمد لله اننا منعرفش الغيب، و الحمد لله على الواقع. الحمد لله اصلاً.

[hash-mashh]

i can’t believe very soon i’m not going to be able to say i’ll be doing or will be something “when i grow up.”

I AM GROWN UP? impossible impossible impossible impossible impossible

[shadowsfromvenus]

February 4, 2022

Yesterday I bought a new yoga mat, yoga pant, yoga shirt, exercising tools and new skincare products, all whilst I was half asleep browsing through online shopping apps. End of last month, i went to this huge outlet store and bought myself brand new sneakers, books, tops and fragrances just to feel happy after years of hard work, studying, researching and no shopping.

Congratulations to me, for finally able to spend my own hard earned money for myself, instead of gifting 'em all to the other people i genuinely care and love.

[shadowsfromvenus]

September 12, 2021

The day has finally come when my close friends have all gotten married to their loved ones. To many more going to the malls by myself, sharing public transport with complete strangers, and late night self reflection, yes? Should i just accept phd offers from my employer by now? Or should i keep walking miles ahead, learning from the industrial experts whilst bettering myself both physically and spiritually?

My mother wants to see me looking ever so beautiful in white, though how do i make another soul happy when i still couldn't accept my own biggest flaws?

[shadowsfromvenus]

Can't believe Allah grant my specific doas.. Thank you, Allah 🌼

[shadowsfromvenus]

I've totally lost faith in certain people. When some take advantage on my perseverance, another make me questions of my self worth. All I feel after 2 years is useless and my anxiety is getting worst everyday. There's nothing left for me here so I'm packing my bags and leaving this toxic place today.

- A