#toxic narilamb

[stychu-stych]

The context

Ah, we love toxic yaoi in this house

Not feeling well, my stomach hurts and I'm afraid I caught a flu or something like that *sob* But I woke up today with this idea and had to draw it

[dicedandsplicedpeaches]

I do want to finish this eventually, but I have been struggling to draw at all for around a month so I don't think it'll happen soon, so get your slop narilamb fans

[s00ckz]

WOAH ROADTRIP DOODLES?!

The road was so gawn damn bumpy i could barely draw aaaaa

(See below for narilamb thoughts dump)

But hey! I thought of sum lore while doodling,, I feel like my lamb would be really hurt by the whole "sacrifice yourself so i can be free" thing, and definitely would be bitter about it for a while. They'd choose to kill him instead of sparing him, therefore having more time to reflect as they crusade and indoctrinate the bishops.

When the Mystic seller revives Narinder they'd probably just be indifferent at that point, they wouldn't bother him just give him anything he needs and leave him alone.

Meanwhile Narinder, freshly traumatized from purgatory, is probably expecting some kind of anger. Unsure how much time has passed he'd think the Lamb is still as angry and unpredictable as they were during their fight. Afraid to figure out if they're just pretending to not care, he'd just tread on eggshells until realising from his siblings being there and after speaking to them that, no, the Lamb doesn't really care anymore.

Lamb themselves would be in the middle of figuring out their feelings. Not for Narinder but how they'll come to terms with godhood. They've had enough time to think about Narinder as their god being full of lies and them being naive. Now they have to come to terms with being the only God left in the old faith. They would leave the cult for a bit to reflect, maybe take a trip to their old home when they were a small Lamb and then return and actually start accepting their godhood and maybe just maybe they'd pay attention to how nervous Narinder is while next to them.

Would he talk to them? Maybe. Though probably not for a while,,, I'd feel Narinder would start speaking to his siblings more. Probably ranting to Leshy and trying to figure out his feelings. And Lamb would just be too busy with other things to even bat an eye to the cat.

Also I'm definitely having my LeshyCat have a way healthier and sweeter relationship than NariLamb,, Why? Its funny. Also Narinder has a reason to be jealous and want the same with the Lamb, who probably doesn't even like him that much. They're just indifferent.

GRAHH LORE!! Though yeah no im thinking this over a lot,, maybe I'd change dome things!1 Might write a fic who knows,,, Chat pray for me that i don't get the ao3 writers curse if i ever do post a fic </3

[seaglasstortellini]

"Does anyone else think our leader's been acting different? Ever since that cat showed up..."

[mittensit]

I need everyone to boo this man

[stychu-stych]

Question for a friend

How brutual can someone be in a enemies to lovers trope before its considered abusive when theyre together?

The real question is what must happen to turn abusive relationship of enemies into cute lovers (or NotAsToxicAsItWasBeforeButStillVeryFuckedUp lovers as in my headcanon FDBXJNDJDM)

Imagine turning from this

to this

For the note: to be clear - I'm not supporting or romanticizing any kind of real abusive relationships and behaviors. Everything I'm writing about toxic narilamb headcanons is a work of fiction inspired by my interest in psychology and how the human brain works

[stychu-stych]

I know that by definition we will probably never get anything out of the "not meant for social media" narilamb pile, but that doesn't mean Im not deadly curious about it, like I want to know so bad it makes me look stupid

Plus I'll forever wander how bad it is. Is it just too embarrassing to share? Is it 'mildly bad and insane, but not enough to not have at least 10 to 20 different fics on AO3 with those same hcs' bad? Is it 'so bad that you CAN'T find it on AO3 of all places' bad? Secret kink you don't want to share with the internet (very valid tbh)? Secret third (technically fifth) thing??? I want to knooooow /hj /sillygoofy

Dhdhdhhd that post is kinda old, I put it on my tumblr when I was more afraid of posting things on the internet. Especially when a lot of people started to follow me in a very short period of time. Everytime I posted something more gore-ish or suggestive I've got reported and sometimes my posts were deleted (mostly on tiktok and instagram). I still don't know if that was just one person doing that or bunch of them, or I was some algorithm lottery winner djdbhdh Maybe people expected something different looking at my artstyle (I know it can be described as "cute") and they were mad when I started posting something else? Idk idc really but it was pain in the ass

I also heard a couple of times from not anonymous people that if I create something about toxic relationships (arts, headcanons etc.) that means I support this kind of behavior. Or "romanticize" is a better word. Some of them changed their mind and apologized so we're good now but still I've received so many of comments like this that I started to carefully select what I want to put on the internet and what I want to put into the closet

But it's better now, I'm not that scared of social media like I used to be, I'm also on therapy and it's going great (not only but mostly because of my growing visibility on social media that was scary for me at that time. Never really talked about that with anyone outside my close friends, this is the first time I'm talking about it publicly. Also don't worry, I'm getting better now 💖)

My headcanons are mostly about narilamb relationship that is super toxic, I'm just really into psychology, emotions and why people behave in some certain way. About hurting each other, being jealous, manipulating and controlling. I just like to analyze why brain can work like that and what has to happen for someone to make them act like that. And I like to put all of that in fictional characters

So yeah, now I think that my headcanons aren't that bad, people are just assholes jdbdhdh I'll probably post more about my Narilamb relationship, I just need to find some straight to write it *sob* And I'm not the strongest soldier if we talk about writing, especially in english sjdhdh but I'll try my best 💪

[stychu-stych]

*crash*

Hey Stychu! Got something that reminded me of both the Toxic Yaoi and Modern!AU

Dunno how into Musicals you are, but the general Dynamic of Lambert and Narinder reminds me of JD and Veronica from Heathers: The Musical. There’s a lot of themes of Toxic devotion in there, especially in “Our Love is God” >.>

Just be warned, it is a vulgar musical: Sex, drugs and murder :D (no sweat if you don’t wanna post, just wanted throw it on your radar and didn’t want to clog your dms)

HOW DARE YOU ASSUMING THAT I MIGHT NOT KNOW HEATHERS/j

Oh I love this musical so much, I wish I could see it someday in English (btw I'm also very into musicals so I'm open for recommendations)

Damn now I need to listen to all the songs with Veronica and JD again. I never thought of them as some Narilamb material, but this devotion thing and "we against the world" trope fits so well👌

*thinking intensely of "Dead girl walking" as Narilamb*