#toxic schools

[addressingsophism]

The 5 Toxic Personality Types

1. Instigators - Those that begin abuse and try to rationalize it (victim blaming) 2. Enforcers - Those that actively seek out to assist instigators 3. Enablers - Those that assist instigators, actively or passively 4. Bystanders - Those that allow abuse to start, continue or pass 5. Rationalizers - Those that try to rationalize abuse by victim blaming

[toxicfoundations]

Currently reflecting on the abuses I went through at boarding school. Specifically from the adults. While 90% of the staff were wonderful and kind, there were always those 10% that were narcissistic bullies. Two specific thorns in my side were one of the Deans (not a Dean in the traditional sense; he only had a high school diploma from the school, and it was a fundamentalist programming center masquerading as a school) and the unqualified “psychology” teacher (no qualifications at the time; she was actually just the gym teacher’s wife who doubled as the cheerleading instructor).

The Dean had routinely tried to relive his high school days by trying to fit in with the bullies of the school (there were about 5 of them out of 200+ students) by joining them, directing them, and victim blaming their targets. He had especially targeted smaller students, and often segregated (from the rest of the student body) them together in dorm rooms and labeled them “whiners and weirdos”. Some of the bullying got so bad that one student ended up committing suicide, but the Dean discovered the suicide note, read it, tore it up in front of the group that gathered outside the dorm room (they were there before he got there), and later claimed there wasn’t any suicide note. Students were banned from talking about the suicide, and it was declared he was going to hell because suicide was a sin. The reality is that the kid killed himself because he was gay and constantly being pushed around and called a “faggot” by the Dean and his band of miscreants. Only a few up us knew the student was gay, but it there was no competition as to whom was the cause of his suffering. There was nothing he could do to stop him, since he was considered the ultimate authority and it was his word versus the Deans.

The Dean also tried to have me expelled for possessing what he called “contraband”, which was a collection of digital books that were deemed “unchristian”. A teacher came to bat with me however, and it was let go. At another point he claimed that since my roommates and I had brought our own toilet paper that it indicated we either stone it or were “illegally hoarding” the supplies we were given (the reality is we did actually hoard 4 rolls, but the 20+ he found were our own, bought and paid for; he literately tore the walls apart looking for a reason to bully). As a result we were each given 10 extra hours of physical labor (the school had a labor program; really just exploited so the school wouldn’t require janitors, landscapers, etc...). Finally, two week from graduation, he called me into his office and said another student was caught with a “porn CD”, and that I was being blamed and therefore was going to be expelled. He refused to rational and claimed that if another student got caught (he refused to discuss why that student wasn’t being held accountable) and tried to scapegoat someone (me) it indicated “god”  wanted it so, and that if I wasn’t guilty that “god” would interfere. He admitted he was looking for something to punishing me for all the disobedience he “knew” I was committing behind his back. He claimed that he saw in my records I was previously diagnosed with A.D.D. and depression, and that if he had any say in it that “students like” me wouldn’t be admitted to their school because of such problems. He kept making up stories that he said people told him about me, but it was quite apparent he was making them up on the spot, as he took his time and used theatrical speech; not only were the stories not true, but it was obvious he made them up himself and was attributing the to other students I hadn’t even had any real contact with. I told him it’s targeted bullying like this is what lead to the suicide of the other student, in an attempt to shame him, and he got on the phone and called the ‘chaplain’ (again, no qualifications) to lie and say I just threatened suicide. The ‘chaplain’ arrived and refused to listen to me, telling me my lack of religiosity suggested guilt, and that he would back up everything the Dean said. I was then escorted to the Bed Rest Room (quarantine used for sick students) and was locked in it for 3 days without food, water or bathroom breaks (with a guard posted for “suicide watch”). On day three my adoptive father picked me up, but the Dean lied to both of us and stated that because I was a straight A student that I could come back for graduation. I found out that he lied to my adoptive parents and told them I admitted to owning the porn CD and that I stated that I wanted to commit suicide (continuing the lie). After we arrived back home, he called and stated that I could not return for graduation and that I would not be graduating and that my records (grade records) would be destroyed and I would be placed on a blacklist they share with religious colleges they have affiliations with. I later found out that the Dean also lied to my friends, stating that I chose to leave, and that I also chose not to see any of them while I was locked up for those 3 days. Years later I looked him up on Facebook to see he was now a bus driver in another city, so he either got fired or left (I’m betting they gave him the option to leave because when another ‘dean’ was caught having a sexual relationship with the student, they also gave them the option of leaving instead of being fired). Some of my friends on Facebook later ran into him and posted happy pics about the run in, which made my stomach turn, especially since of the them was an ex-roommate to the kid he bullied to death and saw him discover, read and tear up the suicide note. The Dean had often played nice with the popular students, usually teasing and joking around with them, so when he attacked other students, many of them turned a blind eye or attempted to victim blame or absolve his behaviors. The authoritarian mindset of the school really seemed to dig deep in many of the students, because many of them still post fundamentalist and authoritarian posts on social media. There were loads of other disturbing things about this person that I wish were worth typing about, but I don’t think he deserves any more attention.

As far as the other thorn in my side, I had only met her once but she kept firing shots behind the scenes. On the first day of psychology class another student kept stabbing me with a sharpened pencil to get my attention, and I kept turning around to quietly ask him to stop, trying to play off my frustration with a light grin. The third time she stood up, slammed her book down, and screamed at me full volume, telling me to get out. I was shocked, and stood there for a second expecting some sort of explanation or clarification, and instead she grabbed me by the shirt and threw me out, while yelling at me to go to the principals office. She turned back to go into the classroom only to swirl back and yell “I heard you were bipolar and this proves it! you dumb psycho!”. There was just pure rage emanating from her. It seemed like it was building up from an earlier part of the class when she started using fallacies and biases (”music controls emotions and minds” - part of their fundamentalist propaganda to explain why they ban and control music in the school) and some of the students didn’t agree with (”doesn’t it just make you feel this way or that way? isn’t it dangerous?”). She seemed shocked and hurt that most of the students didn’t agree with her (although quite a few seemed confused) and she went back and forth stirring and engaging in manic laughter while continuing her lecture. I honestly feel she targeted me because she, like a few other staff, had thought I was a social outcast (I wasn’t) because I was an known non-christian and refused to join any of the sports teams or clubs (I had my own clubs I developed with other students, kept from the staff due to their micromanagement polices). It seem like she had tried to direct her narcissistic outburst and anxiety towards someone that she could “justify” deserved it, and to deflect from her own embarrassing moment earlier (and to regain control/respect within the classroom). Confused and hurt, I went to the principals office, where he told me to sit down while he called her. After about 10 minutes of hearing her screaming and huffing and puffing  through the phone he hung up and looked puzzled. After a few moments he said I was going to have to pick a new class to fill the slot because I was banned from the class. I tried to explain what happened, but he said it wasn’t necessary and that he didn’t doubt my side of the story but there wasn’t anything he could do about (in reality it appeared he was avoiding confronting her).

During the rest of the year I heard she kept bringing me up to other staff, whom assured me they ignored her and found her needy, obnoxious and mean. Over a decade later and I found out she left, obtained an actual degree, and is now the President of the school. That knowledge absolutely terrifies me.

[mimmerr]

Talk to a Teacher: Toxic Schools.

After following each other on Twitter for months and repeatedly agreeing with each other, Shuaib Khan and I decided to collaborate. For my blog, this is in the form of an interview below where we discuss toxic school cultures and their impact, which Shuaib explores in his blog and upcoming book.

 For our readers who don’t know you yet, please introduce yourself and tell us about your career in education so far:

My name is Shuaib Khan and I’m a secondary school teacher currently working as a supply teacher. I am qualified to teach RE and Sociology. 

Having taken a 6 month sabbatical from Easter 2019, I decided I wanted to have more flexibility with work but stay in education. Supply teaching is tough but definitely better for me to have some sort of work-life balance. 

You are currently writing a book about toxic schools. How does one define a school as ‘toxic’?

Toxic schools have a really fuzzy logic. They aren’t tangible as such. For one teacher, a school is toxic but for another it’s good. 

Toxic schools are based on predatory and intrusive cultures that undermine, bully and hound staff. Bullying can be done through a range of forums from overt comments to emails. 

I don’t think there’s a set definition of what we’d consider a ‘toxic’ person, it’s in motion, constant ebb and flow. Same with schools. Part of my work is to help teachers realise these awful practices. 

 I think it’s very brave of you to write a book about harmful schools. You mentioned in a blog post that some people have called it career suicide. Do you think this is true and does it matter to you?

 I never came into teaching for a ‘career’. It was my life. I loved teaching, the pride filled me up, even during the darkest of times. This book may ruffle feathers and it may unnerve a few people but there’s real stories, real pain and hurt behind the words. 

I know for a fact my own experience of a toxic school has left me very scarred and with PTSD. I have a forum and I intend on sharing that forum to give light to others. Career suicide? What about all those people who have contemplated or actually committed suicide because of toxic schools? Careers are superficial statuses, we need this dialogue now, more so than ever, in light of the teacher wellbeing crisis.

What do you think the average class teacher can do about reducing a toxic culture in their schools?

Teachers must put their own wellbeing ahead of work. I know it’s tough if you’ve got children, a mortgage and family. Yet when we allow work to impede our daily lives, especially at home, we lose any chance of creating a work-life balance. 

As teachers we have to treat one another better. The battle is in the classroom not the staffroom. Toxic schools thrive off staff that conflict with one another. We must treat each other better and support those who are struggling. 

What can leaders do about these toxic environments?

Leaders need to look at Teacher wellbeing with a discerning eye. School leaders can make or break a school and their position to ensure their staff are supported is paramount. 

Demands need to be realistic. People need to be treated as people; workload needs to be addressed. I’ve seen teachers sat in cafes on weekends marking books whilst the world just passes them by. Why has it got to this? Why are we allowing workload to reach such unattainable levels? Leaders in schools need to reflect on their own practices in a more real and profound way.

Your blog also explores racism. Your ‘Twelve Big Questions’ explains unacceptable common language. What do you think we as teachers can do to address such a prevalent issue?

Racism has been a part of my daily experience as a British Muslim. My first ever experience of racism was actually at Infants school and these experiences have continued for 24 years. 

Stop and search, randomly being asked about drugs, schools asking me not to pray on site, small looks and gestures. Even with my pale complexion, there’s such a frightening level of hostility in Britain at times. 

I did my NQT year in a RI school in Lincolnshire. It was so tough, the racial abuse was virtually a daily issue. It was heartland Brexit, even during my preliminary visits, UKIP banners surrounded the town centre. But amidst this was a core of Year 11s who took to me straight away. We had ZERO commonalities but we clicked. It was November and after a child racially abused me, I was teary and sat in my classroom when these Year 11s walked in and consoled me. 

At a classroom level, we’ve got to be prepared to hold tough conversations with our students, challenge misconceptions and really open up dialogue. Fear and prejudice is born out of being afraid of the unknown. Sadly, at times I don’t think the media and politicians help the situation at all but as teachers we’ve got to retain the moral high ground, for the kids.

I know from reading your posts that this year is going to mainly be about your book. But will we see anything else from you online? If so, what can we expect?

I never intended to start blogging. It just happened and the book - well that was almost like a New Years resolution. I’m due to attend and contribute at #bakesandbeats out in Dudley in April. 

I’m open to bookings and would love to share a forum with people like Tom Rogers and Helen Woodley. But in truth, you can just expect honest tweeting, parody, good blogs and the book. 

After reading through Shuaib’s comments, I realised what a multifaceted issue the recruitment and retention crisis is. If you follow me online, I mainly discuss issues such as marking and emailing. But from this interview, you can see how awful things can be, to the point of verbal abuse, to the point of educators being discriminated against, to the point where people have committed suicide because of work pressures. And this is within institutions where we are sending our children. 

I am also very proud that people like Shuaib are making this stand and talking about toxic school culture. I hope you walk away from this article taking away his advice to put your wellbeing first, to support struggling colleagues and to maintain a high moral ground in class and in the staffroom. 

You can find Shuaib on Twitter here and read his fantastic blog here. If you have experiences of a toxic school culture, you can contact him about contributing to his book. 

Education Support provide counselling here